epoch coda

Caelum. Twenty-three. Brat. Unrenounced, lazy, prince. Dying over astrophysics. ———————————————— You just complain about today, and you always say that the worst has never come. You say, nobody will ever come back here. Say this was mine... ———————————————— ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ var fhs = document.createElement('script');var fhs_id = "5285526"; var ref = (''+document.referrer+'');var pn = window.location;var w_h = window.screen.width + " x " + window.screen.height; fhs.src = "//s1.freehostedscripts.net/ocounter.php?site="+fhs_id+"&e1=&e2=&r="+ref+"&wh="+w_h+"&a=1&pn="+pn+""; document.head.appendChild(fhs);document.write(""); // var fhsh = document.createElement('script');var fhs_id_h = "3131077"; fhsh.src = "//s1.freehostedscripts.net/ocount.php?site="+fhs_id_h+"&name=&a=1"; document.head.appendChild(fhsh);document.write("");

[pathcode-blog]

xjexiste :

Even though he was being yelled at, Kai’s lips couldn’t help but to twitch up at the sound of his name. He missed Caelum’s voice more than anything. And even though he missed the ‘I love you’s in the morning and the sleepy laughing at night, he could settle for his name. At least for now. Kai wouldn’t stop trying until he got back everything he lost with that mistake that Caelum couldn’t seem to understand. Kai wouldn’t stop until he had Caelum back. His mouth opened and closed several times, he wanted to explain but this wasn’t the place. Storms seemed to destroy Caelum’s life and Kai didn’t want to be associated with them. He seemed to be doing fine ruining the other without them. He looked up and felt a couple drops hit his face.

It felt so suddenly, but the leash was in his hand and Caelum’s cold voice broke the storm. He was already walking back home and Kai wasn’t going to waste time anymore. He followed the other with Mona trotting at his side. “That’s not why I offered,” he pointed out, not slowing down until they were right behind Caelum and he couldn’t help but stare at his back. Those broad shoulders seemed to have been slumped and Kai didn’t know if it was because of the storm or because of him. Probably both. “I haven’t snapped my- since I saw you before. I haven’t done it again. Because I’ll probably never get it right, Caelum but I can try to fix this. What I’ve done to hurt you,” he was used to talking a lot around Caelum but he wasn’t used to doing most of the talking. He missed how he sounded when he was excited about something and then explaining it to Kai. He missed Caelum so much, but especially now even though he was so close but with his back turned towards him.

As soon as they got inside he grabbed onto the back of Caelum’s jacket with his free hand. Was it new? The two used to always share clothes, but was he trying to completely shed Kai out of his life? “And I’ll never do it again. I’ll never take that risk because I spent- I don’t even know how much time has passed anymore because I feel like I’ve spent a lifetime looking for you. I just wanted to get back to that point where I left. Where you would come back home from your meetings and I would be there waiting for you, like I always did,” he inhaled sharply and held onto the jacket more tightly. “I never wanted you to live with that, with that pain. I wanted to carry that. But I can’t find that moment and I can’t keep losing you.” Kai felt like he had to say as much as he could until Caelum couldn’t stand it anymore. Until he couldn’t speak anymore.

“It’s been a year. A year and two weeks.” He knows that they’re both fallible but this was more than something that could just be fixed. There’s something that just isn’t clicking with Kai he thinks, probably in his rush to find what makes him happy he hadn’t thought about Caelum’s happiness and that...that scared the little prince more than anything. “And if you could? If you could really go back or forward or wherever, you’d do it? That wouldn’t be me. This is me. If you did find me, that other me then—I’d still be alone. I feel so alone.” He shakes the hand away from his back and turns to kneel down at the whining dog, she’s ever so impatient, unhooking her leash from the collar before he finds himself finally standing to look face to face with Kai. His misplaced other half.

“You should have stayed the first time you found me. You’re a coward. You’ve always been a coward. That’s not something I need in my life.” And no matter how much conviction Caelum pushes into his tone he still doesn’t believe the words that are careless and poisoned. Kai has always been on the run and for good reason and Caelum never held him at fault for it before. How could he be so ruthless now? He thinks about past confessions whispered from under sheets and how their promises soaked through to the tiles of the bathroom floor. The only witnesses were their fingers locking together and their breaths falling short. But all this isn’t just a “mistake”, it’s not something you can “do over”. It’s a betrayal. It’s a gutless apology.

The first clap of thunder rattles Caelum where he stands, feet stepping back automatically, putting distance between him and the storm outside, and the one that was spinning recklessly between him and Kai. The noise of little paws pattering against the floor is the only thing that sounds over the rain for the next few long moments. Just enough time for Caelum to feel his gut twist because even if Kai was the closest he’s been in so long it still felt like he was so distant, so far. “You already lost me once. What makes the difference if you do it again? Go ahead. Snap yourself out my life. Leave. You think I can’t survive without you? I did. You can go now. Don’t even stay on Earth. Go back home, Kai. Your time here is done.”

[wordsnquotes]

You have me. Until every last star in the galaxy dies. You have me.

Amie Kaufman, Illuminae (via fscottfitzgerld)

[pathcode-blog]

“Actually, he’s not for sale.”

“And how long have we’ve known each other?”

      Caelum couldn’t be more bored with this impromptu trip, in fact, he didn’t want to come in the first place but when someone like Ellin whines, he follows. Well, okay, maybe it’s just that it’s Ellin to begin with. Caelum wouldn’t drop his charts or break from his independent study for anyone else. “Every thing is for sale.” It’s stupid, highly unlikely, and excessively vain for Caelum to let his thoughts wander down that path but as it’s been since the beginning, he’s worked to impress Ellin if nothing more than to keep her company. To keep her smile. She softened out all of the edges for him. 

He pitched the idea that, after he bought her a present for “surviving the first half of the year”, they should take a stop by the animal shelter. The one he’s been to plenty of times before up until he crawled under a rock a year or more ago. He had practically dragged his friend through the rooms until the last, where he found a small fluff of white and gray huddled into the corner out of reach from the other bouncing pups. That’s it. That’s the one Caelum wanted.

So, naturally, he made the girl go ask and naturally he didn’t like hearing a no. But as it turns out, the one little loner pup was sick and none of the vets were sure if he’d even make it through the week. There was no bargaining or pleading that even touched the surface of being hopeful so instead Caelum reasoned with Ell that they’ll just come back. That they’ll come together each day until one of two things became fate. The prince only hoped that Ellin would stand up next to him like he’s done for her years ago when needed.

[pathcode-blog]

You deserve to smile Caelum. -blows kisses- I'll always be watching over you to make sure you're okay. Sweet people like you are the reason my heart beats another day.

Thank you, dear… I don’t particularly feel like it’s the truth or that I deserve it but maybe you’re the reason I can smile! So… how about that. Ha.

[pathcode-blog]

xjexiste :

He flinched at the cold tone, not used to Caelum ever talking to him like that before. Aside from their reunion, which went so much better in his head. He didn’t expect to be forgiven right away, but he didn’t expect to be cut from the prince’s life. Even though there were times where Caelum left too, he returned. Kai didn’t. Mona seemed to forgive him, her tail wagging happily and small whines escaping her as his hands still ran over her fur. It was the only warmth he felt in days. Part of him wanted to grab her and snap his fingers to try all over again, so this time he wouldn’t be alone. So everything could be perfect again. But he couldn’t hurt Caelum like this. Not in this timeline too. He would stay until he fixed things. And then he would never leave. “I know,” his voice was thick and if he didn’t shut his mouth immediately he would let out a cry. This was all without even looking up at the man he loved and hurt more than anyone else. He would never say he was very brave but he couldn’t remember ever being this cowardly.

He nudged Mona towards Caelum reluctantly and shoved his hands into his pockets to retain some of that warmth. The weather seemed to go well with the tone of this meeting and how Kai had felt since Caelum turned him away. His nails dug into his palms and he hoped the pain could override how horrible he felt, but it didn’t work. Nothing worked. He turned his gaze away from the dog and up into the sky, staring at a particularly dark cloud as he inhaled sharply and Caelum’s next words. If Caelum didn’t want him to be apart of his home anymore then ultimately he would have to accept that. But not just yet. “Look, I’m sorry. I made a mistake and I tried to fix it, but I can’t. And right now it doesn’t feel like I can fix us but I can’t- I can’t stop trying. I can’t say goodbye because I don’t want to. I didn’t want to then either,” his voice is getting shakier by the word but he’s been thinking only of these moments with Caelum. He drew his hands out of his pockets only to rub his face roughly and groan. “You were looking for me- I saw the books. I never stopped. When I found you it wasn’t you yet. Or it wasn’t you anymore.”

For a few moments he just had to breathe, saying more in these few moments than he had in the past few months. “It’s going to storm soon,” he shifted where he stood, rubbing the side of his neck when his eyes could finally lower down onto the boy in front of him. Another twist in his chest. “Just…. let me come in until it’s over. You shouldn’t be alone for them.” Anymore, he added to himself. Before Caelum those words were just a ploy to find shelter. But now he needed to find any window he could to be near the other, he just couldn’t let him go.

      “A mistake? Jesus, Kai—” A mistake would have been leaving the lights on while no one was home. Dropping his phone from the third floor balcony for a second time. Forgetting to lay out water for Mona. A mistake would have been something that Caelum or Kai could fix with an apology. This...this was a betrayal and every word that left the boy’s mouth sent pin prick after pin prick straight up the prince’s spine. How could Kai do this? How could he know all this time that Caelum only wanted him back, that he was searching for him, but still he snapped his way out of every lifetime that Caelum lived. It all made sense now. The sweet scent he woke up to lingering on his pillow in the mornings after spending the night alone. The way his notes would reappear at his desk even though he was more than certain they were left scattered on the first floor library. It made sense that every person he took to bed disappeared before the sun even rose, it’s not all too uncommon within fucking and forgetting but in the past he at least had one or two stragglers stick around for free hand outs and this time...nothing.

Caelum doesn’t want to do this. He wants to walk away and let Kai snap back into whatever reality he wanted, whatever Caelum he was desperate to find in the first place. Caelum was destroyed. He was weak and inconsolable, the knot in his stomach already vining it’s way up to encase his heart. He never felt more human than in this moment. 

And being human comes with a wide array of emotions, unfortunately for Caelum, sympathy is one of them. “If you want to come inside to stay out of the rain then fine.” He knows Kai could go anywhere, snap his fingers and be out of the country even, somewhere dry, warm, more inviting. And the drop that comes falling from the unforgiving sky plants an urgency in Caelum that he can’t ignore. Mind flashing with memories of the two huddled under covers as a heavy rain begins to pick up, Kai making the odd animal noise to drown out all the roaring that shook the windows. A memory of a boy left alone and crying for his father who would never come. Another raindrop breaks him out of the thought and Caelum hands the leash over to Kai and turns, long legs carrying him back up the walkway. Part of him felt relieved, in all honesty, because if Kai were to get flighty again and want to disappear he knew that he wouldn’t do it and leave Mona stranded alone...not like he did to Caelum so many times before.

[pathcode-blog]

“Do I talk first or you talk first? I talk first?”

      “How about you don’t talk at all?” A lazy hand comes over to cover Codi’s mouth. Silence. That’s what Caelum wanted but does he ever get that privilege when they’re together? Rarely. Tonight, in particular, is harder for Caelum to be tolerable to the woman’s antics. Even while he’s the one that begged to come over on some bogus excuse that he just couldn’t be alone and even promised he’d let Codi buff out his nails no matter how much he “hated” it. He missed her…but in their time apart he’s forgotten how catastrophic their friendship is, how push and pull it is. Caelum just wanted a warm body next to him. He didn’t want anyone prying or tugging him open until he was rolling his eyes on repeat. In hindsight, he probably should have found his company in someone more…quiet.

[pathcode-blog]

{{ continued from △ @athamve​ }}

“I don’t want to eat.” His words cut the other short, syllables connecting all in one breath. How could Caelum find peace like this? He couldn’t even find a second of silence if not for his own heart pounding in his ears. “I’m not going to, um, get hexed or something, right? I mean, you do this all the time, don’t you?” It’s curiosity that lead Caelum here, crouched down on the dirtied tiled floor of some house that he’s never dreamed of stepping foot into (but words can be so convincing sometimes). 

All he wanted was an answer, just one. It more than likely wasn’t that simple but Caelum had searched every where else and if they were being honest here then the childish prince was at his wit’s end. With eyelids drooping all too heavy while his gaze trained itself on the nimble fingers, ones that played over the cards with ease and familiarity, Caelum felt marginally eased. “How does this even work? You’ll tell me if I’m going to die, wont you?”

[pathcode-blog]

“Keep it. It suits you.”

     Really? Is it ever any surprise that Caelum gets caught? There’s no denying how stupidly ridiculous he feels but the flush of red is steady fading from his cheeks as he shakes his head in reply. Don’t look up, don’t look up. He looks up. There’s a million things that Caelum would claim to be but a thief is not one of them and so he sets the scepter back down again, eyes following the other male as his feet shuffle back from the display meant for paying museum goers, something he also definitely was not. Besides, he had plenty growing up, a variety to choose from in his home if he so wished, but hearing “it suits you” couldn’t make Caelum feel more sick to his stomach. “Nah, I’m not really into all that.” If the unknowingly fallen one sees through his lie then Caelum is unaware of it, blissfully so. “I don’t think we’re allowed to touch these things anyway.” 

[pathcode-blog]

“May the Force be with you.”

“Shut it, Hayden.” 

Another eye roll and Caelum could probably see the back of his lids forever. How is it that he’s sober and somehow convinced to wear this Chewbacca suit. It’s itchy and there’s fur fluttering to the floor with each heavy, lethargic step he takes. “You’re not recording this! That was the deal, I’d put it on and you wouldn’t blackmail me for a lifetime.” His eyes are cutting quick to the camera tucked in the girl’s hands in front of him and at least, for now, she hadn’t talked him into wearing the mask as well. But his nothing erases that unsettling feeling that keeps sinking deeper and deeper into the pit of his stomach. They hadn’t been friends for long but already Caelum had a problem with saying no. “You get one Wookie call. One. And then I’m taking this thing off.” 

[pathcode-blog]

xjexiste :

He knew it was wrong, to sit outside his former home and wait for glimpses of his former boyfriend. He knew he should approach Caelum to announce he was back and he wasn’t going anywhere this time. Every time he aimed to get back to the moment he disappeared it was never right. After being away for so long and discovering his new ability, the hopeful reunion never came to be. Mistakes were made every single time. Caelum was either too young, unaware of Kai’s existence. Or too far into the future where he probably moved on. The worst was arriving at a time where Caelum didn’t even exist. Kai shook his head and leaned back against the tree he was standing in front of. Today would be the day he went to Caelum again, he was sure of it. It was the mantra he kept repeating as the prince made his way outside with Mona on a leash. Yet there were too many failed attempts to count.

The door opened and Kai straightened up, hoping he would gain some nerve when he saw him. He ached to see him smile again at him, but that would never happen if he kept succumbing to his fears. Seeing Caelum again had been so bittersweet. He got to feel his hand on his face and hear his voice again. And yet he was also shoved and told to leave. Kai would consider himself an optimist, but he couldn’t be surprised by the outcome. Even though he didn’t want to or mean to, he still betrayed Caelum. He swore he would never leave-

His thoughts were interrupted by the familiar sound of a dog trotting and Kai looked down to find Mona at his feet, dragging a leash behind her. Unfortunately Caelum wasn’t on the other side. “Run off again? Brat,” he knelt down on the grass in front of Mona and began to scratch under her jaw. Just like he used to. “I missed you so much, Mona. I’m sorry,” he began, but he quickly locked his jaw to keep from getting too emotional. He bent to kiss the top of her head and his eyes stung at how her scent brought him back to Caelum. Reminded him of home. “You have to go back. You’re going to worry him-” he bit the inside of his cheek at the footsteps approaching and he didn’t even have to look up to see that it was Caelum. Instead he buried his face against the top of her head. “Found her,” was all he could manage, feeling so tense he was ready to just break. He wanted it.

“Leave her alone. She’s not yours anymore.”

 Bitter. Sour. Resentful. Caelum’s mouth carves every word with a touch of annoyance and he knows that it’s unfair. He knows that he can’t keep Kai from seeing their dog, Kai’s dog, but he didn’t have to offer up an ounce of forgiveness. That’s what he told himself anyway, since their first re-encounter. All this time the lonely prince thought that Kai would snap his way out of this reality again and search for something more suitable, that he’d be left alone again to nurse his agony with even lonelier nights. That’s why he never wanted to come back in the first place, right? Kai couldn’t get what he wanted because it wasn’t about Caelum or them anymore.

But seeing him like this brings back the memories of a missed smile, and forehead kisses, and a voice that he couldn’t stop hearing echo through the hall. Caelum’s chest isn’t sweet with warmth like it was just moments ago when he was chasing Mona past the dancing grass, it’s soaked with a cold edge now and the fingers that reach to curl around the end of the terrier’s leash feel numb at the tips. All he could think about was getting this over with as his blood rushed like the sea during a storm, quite possibly a storm that’s just as bad as the one that was closing in overhead. Dog or not, he was going back inside and despite knowing that doors hold no power to Kai he’d lock all of them and shelter himself from the thunder that would be raging outside and the lightning that would be flashing through his heart at the very same moment. 

It’d be a lie if he said he didn’t want to reach out to his former lover, though, to drag his fingers down the line of his jaw and retrace his lips like all the paintings he touched in his father’s room. To him, Kai was no doubt a work of art. But the reality isn’t fading. The other had plenty of chances to return and yet he never did. In his obsession to get it perfect he instead let it all crumble right in his palm. “This isn’t your home anymore, Kai.” But it is. Caelum wants to tell him so badly that it is, that he’s home, that he never has to run again and that he can come back. He thinks of how scared he must have been alone and fleeing and trying to figure out where the hell he went wrong. For almost a year straight he imagined what it must have felt like for Kai...but that year he also knows how it felt to stay up nights on end. Crying until he couldn’t bring in enough oxygen into his lungs. Cancelling plans so that he could stay held up in his room just in case Kai returned. He knows how it felt thinking that the only person who truly loved him could have been dead. Then he thinks about how Kai was alright all this time, that he could have saved Caelum the ache and embarrassment all along. He thinks about how Kai broke the only promise he was supposed to keep and so he tugs the leash at his hand, shaking with nearly a whisper. “Come, Mona. Inside.” 

[pathcode-blog]

ahnsanhee :

[ txt .｡.:*☆ caelum ] yeah i did :( u were like a cute little puppy needing affection [ txt .｡.:*☆ caelum ] oh [ txt .｡.:*☆ caelum ] i was hoping for something bigger?? [ txt .｡.:*☆ caelum ] ??????????

[txt ⇾ sanh×e] · I’m still that cute puppy ya know [txt ⇾ sanh×e] · but I—REALLY ??? you can fuck right off!!!!! [txt ⇾ sanh×e] · you weren’t complaining tho!!  [txt ⇾ sanh×e] ·  ...... it’s not small! !!!! !!!!!!

[pathcode-blog]

I seriously hope that you have a good day/night. Please! Smile as much as possible and laugh at anything you can. Happiness is beautiful and healthy. I wish you nothing but happiness.

You know what’s really beautiful? People like you! I hope all this good energy and loving vibes come back to you. 

[fuchsia-and-boonbucks]

How much of a sinner is your muse?

use this to find out and post the results

[rpmemedump]

The Force Awakens Starter sentences

“Do I talk first or you talk first? I talk first?”

“We’re home.”

“I’m no one.”

“You don’t know anything about me.”

“That’s one hell of a pilot!”

“Are you up for this?”

“Hell no.”

“Stop taking my hand!”

“I don’t know your name.” 

“Nothing will stand in our way.”

“There has been an awakening.” 

“Where do you come from?“ 

“Oh, you’re cold?!”

“Are we really doing this?!”

“We’ve got company.”

“Keep it. It suits you.”

“I think I can handle myself.” 

“I know all about waiting.” 

“The belonging you seek is not behind you … it is ahead.”

“Actually, he’s not for sale.”

“Classified, really?”

“Come home.”

We’ll figure it out. We’ll use The Force!”

“It’s true. All of it.”

“You still drive me crazy.” 

“Because it’s the right thing to do.”

“You need a pilot.”

“I need a pilot.”

“Alright, let’s light it up!” 

“May the Force be with you.” 

“Obviously.”

[pathcode-blog]

jkyvngs :

“Well–” She glances at the other and smiles. Jaekyung wasn’t really the one that would think that deeply into things like this even if she was a straight A student back in the day. “Well, I’ll be honest with you, no.. I don’t really think that deeply into that. But it’s pretty interesting. I took a course back in university as an elective. I usually wish upon a shooting star like how everyone else does. Is that what you mean? “

“Ah, yeah. You know, a wish happens when the star burns out but there could be a billion years difference. It’s makes you wonder though, doesn’t it?” The thought races away from him, leaving him spiraling into himself as he often does when he rambles. It’s when he hits the mark of thinking that our world is nothing compared to the great expanse of space he snaps back to the girl in front of him. Eyes flickering back to life with interest. “What did you say you studied? 

[pathcode-blog]

‖ ⇥ I know I owe a few replies and things but I’m stuck at work right now and I promise to get to it all later! I have the weekend open so if anyone wants to rp/plot/whatever then feel free to send me a message or just invade caelum’s space! 

[pathcode-blog]

ahnsanhee :

[ txt .｡.:*☆ caelum ] i’m sure it’s fun during too 😉  [ txt .｡.:*☆ caelum ] you’re bribing me? do you even know shit about seduction and attracting women?? which works perfectly well btw  [ txt .｡.:*☆ caelum ] idk why i even slept with you before… should i let you remind me why i did? 🤔 ㅋㅋㅋ  [ txt .｡.:*☆ caelum ] but what kind of gift?

[txt ⇾ sanh×e] · I’m only bribing you if it’s working ...?  [txt ⇾ sanh×e] · I know exactly why you slept with me :) :) :) [txt ⇾ sanh×e] · (((((actually probably bc you pitied me)))))) [txt ⇾ sanh×e] · I’ll give you the only gift you deserve to get !! [txt ⇾ sanh×e] · THIS D*** 👅 👅