PATIENCE!

The Purest Puritan NOT In the dirt RN 🙏 (Long story) RP Blog!

[patiencethepuritan]

Greetings. Samantha told Patience about this website on her Devil box. Patience had to investigate. Patience… Patience.

Feel free to ask Patience anything.

~ Patience.

{OOC: SFW asks only!}

[patiencethepuritan]

…

At Sequoyah’s house. What thee actual fuck did we just watch?

[tmoneylefkowitz69]

An episode of “Ghosts” that the Guardians appeared to have created to torture me as I watched. But I didn’t watch it, because I knew it would be torture to.

Which is exactly what they intended. Because they knew I would figure out that it’s actually the Guardians showcasing their next attack on us.

I’m posting the whole explanation of how I figured it out here so we have it on record. Also, you actually watched the episode, so you may have stuff to add.

——

So, incase I never fully described it to you, Hetty & I have powers that fall into the extremely rare category of “dying-and-rising”, since we both can both fully penetrate the boundary between living and dead even ‘pass’ as living, like that’s even on the show. That’s why we can naturally reproduce when together, etc. So, the Guardians don’t want us getting together. We’ve fallen in love at least 10 times since I first died, and they’ve erased our memories of it each time. But we always find our way back. It seems, based off yesterday’s episode, they’re looking to do it again, but this time going to more extreme measures. Hetty is in real danger, since it seems like they’re planning to get rid of her fully in some way.

These are the clues from the episode:

1.) My memory erase/reset -The mere fact that I would even consider perusing any woman other than Hetty, regardless of if we’re officially ‘together’ or not, means that I’m back to before we hooked-up. There are at least 5,000 pictures/edits etc. on Tumblr thanks to H$ shippers, showing how I look at her in a way that proves I would never look at anyone else. This is also shown in how I seem up to old habits that come off as how I acted in season 1.

2.) They plan on getting rid of Hetty entirely-

They make constant very specific references that are notoriously associated with me and Hetty, yet it instead ends up applying to me with either you or Barbara. Such as how “I” kissed “you” on Christmas. That’s when I first got with Hetty. I know the livings who watch the show were expecting it to just play out as it had with Misery where I’m just trying to get out of an awkward hook-up oopsie & Hetty helps even. But Hetty isn’t involved at all. Instead there’s Barbra (do you know her or is she a Guardian?). They do the Philly Accent also associated with me and Hetty.

I know there are other things very clearly associated with me and Hetty. People listed them. I just can’t stand to read on about them more.

And I’m pretty sure they may be planning to pull stings so that way it’s set up that you and I get together with you in places of Hetty. Not sure why the Guardians seem to ship us at this point (for lack of a better term).

[patiencethepuritan]

Patience realized something. Sequoyah and Patience have been watching a television sitcom called “The Good Place”. In summary, four people are placed in a psychological torture chamber they think is The Good Place but is actually The Bad Place. Every time the demon’s experiment fails he washes the subject’s memories. So what if, we are in the Bad Place?

[tmoneylefkowitz69]

Patience.

They’re threatening to disappear my very pregnant fiancee and make me into your dirt husband.

Please focus.

[patiencethepuritan]

Patience is trying! It is difficult to when Patience is stressed out! Patience definitely doesn’t want thee as Patience’s dirt husband. No offense, but Patience has better taste than that.

Back on topic, The Good Place has demons that pose as humans. Patience thinks The Guardians may be using something similar to pose as us.

[patiencethepuritan]

…

At Sequoyah’s house. What thee actual fuck did we just watch?

[tmoneylefkowitz69]

An episode of “Ghosts” that the Guardians appeared to have created to torture me as I watched. But I didn’t watch it, because I knew it would be torture to.

Which is exactly what they intended. Because they knew I would figure out that it’s actually the Guardians showcasing their next attack on us.

I’m posting the whole explanation of how I figured it out here so we have it on record. Also, you actually watched the episode, so you may have stuff to add.

——

So, incase I never fully described it to you, Hetty & I have powers that fall into the extremely rare category of “dying-and-rising”, since we both can both fully penetrate the boundary between living and dead even ‘pass’ as living, like that’s even on the show. That’s why we can naturally reproduce when together, etc. So, the Guardians don’t want us getting together. We’ve fallen in love at least 10 times since I first died, and they’ve erased our memories of it each time. But we always find our way back. It seems, based off yesterday’s episode, they’re looking to do it again, but this time going to more extreme measures. Hetty is in real danger, since it seems like they’re planning to get rid of her fully in some way.

These are the clues from the episode:

1.) My memory erase/reset -The mere fact that I would even consider perusing any woman other than Hetty, regardless of if we’re officially ‘together’ or not, means that I’m back to before we hooked-up. There are at least 5,000 pictures/edits etc. on Tumblr thanks to H$ shippers, showing how I look at her in a way that proves I would never look at anyone else. This is also shown in how I seem up to old habits that come off as how I acted in season 1.

2.) They plan on getting rid of Hetty entirely-

They make constant very specific references that are notoriously associated with me and Hetty, yet it instead ends up applying to me with either you or Barbara. Such as how “I” kissed “you” on Christmas. That’s when I first got with Hetty. I know the livings who watch the show were expecting it to just play out as it had with Misery where I’m just trying to get out of an awkward hook-up oopsie & Hetty helps even. But Hetty isn’t involved at all. Instead there’s Barbra (do you know her or is she a Guardian?). They do the Philly Accent also associated with me and Hetty.

I know there are other things very clearly associated with me and Hetty. People listed them. I just can’t stand to read on about them more.

And I’m pretty sure they may be planning to pull stings so that way it’s set up that you and I get together with you in places of Hetty. Not sure why the Guardians seem to ship us at this point (for lack of a better term).

[patiencethepuritan]

Patience realized something. Sequoyah and Patience have been watching a television sitcom called “The Good Place”. In summary, four people are placed in a psychological torture chamber they think is The Good Place but is actually The Bad Place. Every time the demon’s experiment fails he washes the subject’s memories. So what if, we are in the Bad Place?

[patiencethepuritan]

Did thou not like the new episode, Patience?

Patience did not. Patience… Patience.

[patiencethepuritan]

…

At Sequoyah’s house. What thee actual fuck did we just watch?

[confesstoeliaswoodstone]

How you handling the break up?

Well, we're not broken up anymore. In fact, something much worse is happening to me due to @tmoneylefkowitz69. Actually, our truce is officially over.

[tmoneylefkowitz69]

You’re being way too dramatic over this.

For those reading this:

He pulled a prank that caused Ari Cantor to fall in love with me. He did so by reciting a spell from “A Middummer Night’s Dream”.

The other guys wanted to punish him through actual torture. I said that was too far, and that the punishment needs to fit the crime. So, for the next 40 days Ari is in love with HIM and Elias has to dress like a birthday party fairy and say “twiddle-dee-dee” when he enters a room.

[patiencethepuritan]

That is horrific. Wait what about Misery? Patience’s sister won’t be pleased with this.

[tmoneylefkowitz69]

Hi. I’m Trevor Lefkowitz, and I would like to tell you about the Daves I know!

These are the Daves I know, I know

These are the Daves I know.

These are the Dave’s I know, I know

These are the Daves I know.

David Woodstone. He dumped me in a lake.He was a former Lehman Bro, now he haunts a strip club.

These are the Daves I know, I know.

These are the Daves I know.

Dave Price ( @holydirtghost ), he’s one of my best friends. He’s dating Jesse ( @absent-sons ), and we’re three cool Gen-X guys.

Some of them are Davids, but most of them are Daves.

They all have their own hands and they come from different moms.

These are the Daves I know, I know

These are the Daves I know

Dave, Mark’s son, he’s a kid. He can see ghosts, and he thought Isaac was a pirate.

These are the Daves I know, I know

These are the Daves I know.

Dave the plumber. I hardly know him…

These are the Daves I know , I know

These are the Daves I know!

[patiencethepuritan]

Cool? ‘Tis the overstatement of this century.

[holydirtghost]

@sass-the-storyteller . I don’t see you around that much, but I was wondering if you’ve had a chance to talk to @tmoneylefkowitz69 about his crayon-eating problem? @patiencethepuritan and I are really concerned. We think he needs to go on the show “My Strange Addiction”.

It’s ok, Trevor. We’re here for you. Your son shared that Hetty was punishing you for eating crayons. I see this is a family-wide problem, possibly genetic, as Adam has tried to eat several crayons under my watch.

You can quit!

DO IT FOR YOUR SON, TREVOR!

[tmoneylefkowitz69]

WTF???

I don’t need you and Sass hanging out! LOL

Also, that was an excuse I made when Adam walked in on me & Hetty! See my previous post!

I DON’T EAT CRAYONS!

[patiencethepuritan]

Trevor, there is no need to make excuses. Thou has a problem that we need to solve.

Seriously, we must stop this, does thou need to go back to rehab?

[tmoneylefkowitz69]

Patience, seriously. I don’t eat crayons.

Adam phased through the wall while Hetty & I were having some “alone time” and the first thing I came up with was “Mama’s punishing Dada for eating crayons” because Adam’s in a crayon eating phase.

Dave is being a nerd.

Also, crayon rehab?

[perryisthefiftiesplatypus]

Trev man, this seems quite serious, maybe you do need to go back to rehab, or ‘crayon rehab’. Personally, I certainly wouldn’t mind playing with Pluffle and using coloring books all day.

[tmoneylefkowitz69]

I bet you eat Pluffle!

[perryisthefiftiesplatypus]

No I don’t crayon-eater!

[tmoneylefkowitz69]

Pluffle looks more appetizing than crayons.

[patiencethepuritan]

Don’t eat Pluffle! Thou son needs thee, not some Pluffle and crayon eating freak.

[holydirtghost]

@sass-the-storyteller . I don’t see you around that much, but I was wondering if you’ve had a chance to talk to @tmoneylefkowitz69 about his crayon-eating problem? @patiencethepuritan and I are really concerned. We think he needs to go on the show “My Strange Addiction”.

It’s ok, Trevor. We’re here for you. Your son shared that Hetty was punishing you for eating crayons. I see this is a family-wide problem, possibly genetic, as Adam has tried to eat several crayons under my watch.

You can quit!

DO IT FOR YOUR SON, TREVOR!

[tmoneylefkowitz69]

WTF???

I don’t need you and Sass hanging out! LOL

Also, that was an excuse I made when Adam walked in on me & Hetty! See my previous post!

I DON’T EAT CRAYONS!

[patiencethepuritan]

Trevor, there is no need to make excuses. Thou has a problem that we need to solve.

Seriously, we must stop this, does thou need to go back to rehab?

[peaceloveandtrippyghostess]

Soooo... ¿Qué demonios pasó anoche?

@tmoneylefkowitz69 @patiencethepuritan

Translation: What the hell happened last night?

[patiencethepuritan]

After thou left, Trevor’s old coworker, Ari, had arrived with Patience’s niece, Priscilla, Dave and Patience know Hell is no condition to raise her, so we decided to take her in until Misery cleanses her soul.

[magicmodelofhell]

Ari...? Wait ain't he one of Elias's associates?

Ha!

No wonder he got with a gal named Misery. That's all he is!

[patiencethepuritan]

This joke was not amusing, Misery is still Patience’s sister.

[peaceloveandtrippyghostess]

Soooo... ¿Qué demonios pasó anoche?

@tmoneylefkowitz69 @patiencethepuritan

Translation: What the hell happened last night?

[patiencethepuritan]

After thou left, Trevor’s old coworker, Ari, had arrived with Patience’s niece, Priscilla, Dave and Patience know Hell is no condition to raise her, so we decided to take her in until Misery cleanses her soul.

[peaceloveandtrippyghostess]

But, I didn't leave. I was standing there the whole time! Right...?

[patiencethepuritan]

Patience doesn’t recall seeing thee at all until thou looked at Patience.

[peaceloveandtrippyghostess]

Soooo... ¿Qué demonios pasó anoche?

@tmoneylefkowitz69 @patiencethepuritan

Translation: What the hell happened last night?

[patiencethepuritan]

After thou left, Trevor’s old coworker, Ari, had arrived with Patience’s niece, Priscilla, Dave and Patience know Hell is no condition to raise her, so we decided to take her in until Misery cleanses her soul.

[tmoneylefkowitz69]

Ok. @peaceloveandtrippyghostess @patiencethepuritan I don’t know THESE Dirt Ghosts. The ones in a preview. WTF is happening and what is reality?

They look like they’re one of those Jim Jones “don’t drink the Kool-Aid” 70’s type cults. Not the Ancient Mystery “cults” , which are actually very normal if you’re dead.

Is this why do many Dirt Ghosts freaked the eff out when my (Mystery) cult formed?

Should I summon the Maenads?

[peaceloveandtrippyghostess]

I know! They looked a lot like members of my old cult. And yes we're are a 70s cults but not a Jim Jones "Don't drink the Kool-Aid" type cult 😑

I think your "cult" was more religious based than it was counter-culture like my cult was.

I don't know what the Maenads are, but I feel like we need all the help we can get.

[tmoneylefkowitz69]

Just be careful if you don’t know about these guys . I remember you telling me about that cult.

Yeah, mine is just the spirit/soul stuff that I ended up figuring out first so was the “messenger” for.

The Maenads, or Bacchae, or whatever ,are these guys. They tend to just pop up and start chanting and threatening to dismember anyone they deem a threat. I’m sure you’ve seen them around. They’re hard to miss.

[patiencethepuritan]

Patience has encountered them in the dirt several times. I am sure it will be quite alright.

Much more sane than the Bacchae.

[reehanalovestmoneyghostscbs]

Hey Trevor lefkowitz *chuckles* I am gonna cause chaos at the manor so get ready *sets of fireworks 🎆 as it goes kaboom and I dance and giggle*come on hetty, Pete, flora and Alberta join in

[tmoneylefkowitz69]

“Chaos”, you say? If there’s one thing I know, it’s Chaos.

And no, that is not you piquing my interest or wanting to challenge you in a flirty, competitive way.

You have no idea what “Chaos” means. As in, literally; you’re misusing the word.

And you’re at the manor?

If so, go to the lake and sit under the willow tree to the left side. Do not try anything “cute”…just don’t touch anything or say anything. Stay still. Be quiet. I’m serious. Otherwise you could possibly be ripped to pieces by a bunch of Ancient cultists from the Underworld. I’m sure you don’t want that to happen, just as much as I don’t want Sam & Jay’s business ruined over a dismembered body found on the property. I’ll meet you there, since now I have to deal with this.

[reehanalovestmoneyghostscbs]

Aww man ,no fun *frowns but puts a bag that makes fart sound somewhere*

I didn't do anything *looks innocent and holds back my laughter*just...don't sit on it 🤣

[tmoneylefkowitz69]

LISTEN & OBEY. THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING

Don’t let the fact you only know of me from a sitcom blind you to the fact that I am a supernatural being— and extremely powerful one at that. (Don’t you dare make a joke about your limited knowledge of my power based off what you see on the show. There are some things Livings are not meant to know)

I’m not being a jerk.

I’m actually helping you keep safe, so you’ll want to follow my instruction.

It just is what it is.

⭐️That said, if you respond with a stupid asterisk action, joke,…or anything other than an “I’m sorry, I will go sit quietly at that spot by the lake”, I will personally oversee your brutal dismemberment and make sure your ghost is thrown into a hole and covered with cement.⭐️

[ghostseersam]

... Trevor.

[tmoneylefkowitz69]

….Sam.

I’m just keeping her from getting ripped up by my cultists! They don’t like that she just showed up! She didn’t listen the first time and was being rude, so I had to be scary! I’m very scary! I’m being nice!

@patiencethepuritan knows!

[patiencethepuritan]

’Tis true. Cultists are almost as scary as Lucifer himself. No offense to thy followers Trevor.

[reehanalovestmoneyghostscbs]

@tmoneylefkowitz69 you..

Are the hottest ghost that i have ever seen . You got great looks..ohh you are just...

Oh my *speechless*

Ooh la la la

[tmoneylefkowitz69]

Thanks. Always love a good ego boost. However, I am off the market. I know the sitcom doesn’t show this, but I’m actually engaged to @henrietta-woodstone , she’s pregnant, and we have a two-year-old.

[patiencethepuritan]

Patience was taught how to make memes! Found this one to be fitting.

[tmoneylefkowitz69]

LMAO! You’re a shade queen & I love it 😂

[patiencethepuritan]

What is a “shade queen?” Patience is not royalty.

[reehanalovestmoneyghostscbs]

@tmoneylefkowitz69 you..

Are the hottest ghost that i have ever seen . You got great looks..ohh you are just...

Oh my *speechless*

Ooh la la la

[tmoneylefkowitz69]

Thanks. Always love a good ego boost. However, I am off the market. I know the sitcom doesn’t show this, but I’m actually engaged to @henrietta-woodstone , she’s pregnant, and we have a two-year-old.

[patiencethepuritan]

Patience was taught how to make memes! Found this one to be fitting.

[tmoneylefkowitz69]

My New Year’s resolutions is to not accidentally cause anymore extreme chaos that endangers everyone in the mansion 🙄

[patiencethepuritan]

Patience’s New Year’s resolution is to stop having parts of Patience hook up with parts of Trevor.

[tmoneylefkowitz69]

Yeah. That’s one of mine too. I feel like we both need to go to therapy for this. There’s something very Oedipal going on and I’m scared. Lol

[patiencethepuritan]

Sequoyah says her therapist has an open slot next week, Should Patience book it?

[tmoneylefkowitz69]

Yeah. This needs examining. Like, I’ve not always been one to hop on the therapist train, but this is yikes level. Whatever the eff is going on with our deep unconscious psyches needs to stop being pervy and weird. 🤮

[patiencethepuritan]

Yeah, Patience has no idea what is going on there. It is quite disgusting especially considering Patience and Trevor both have partners or like someone. (For Patience it is not Trevor, so don’t worry tumblr). Patience has booked the appointment.