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@perryisthefiftiesplatypus
Hi?
So uhm, my friend from the hospital, Trevor, told me to make one of these blogs as he so calls it. So yeahā¦
How do I tag him?
Oh.
@tmoneylefkowitz69
Finally did it!
Alright well uhmā¦ If anyone wants to send asks feel free to! Because according to Trevor thatās the fun part of it.
Ok, I filed for a extension on my taxes.
SERIOUSLY, PEOPLE.
Here. Look at my week old daughter.
Awww! She seems like a sweetheart! How come I havenāt met her yet?
Hetty and I have just been kinda adjusting to a new baby in our room. Lol. Sheās adorable and Adam is obsessed with her!
I cant wait to meet her! Iām sure her and Richard would get along perfectly
Right now sheās mostly in the crying and pooping phase, but she does it adorably! Lol
Thatās probably because sheās a baby.
Ok, I filed for a extension on my taxes.
SERIOUSLY, PEOPLE.
Here. Look at my week old daughter.
Awww! She seems like a sweetheart! How come I havenāt met her yet?
Hetty and I have just been kinda adjusting to a new baby in our room. Lol. Sheās adorable and Adam is obsessed with her!
I cant wait to meet her! Iām sure her and Richard would get along perfectly
Ok, I filed for a extension on my taxes.
SERIOUSLY, PEOPLE.
Here. Look at my week old daughter.
Awww! She seems like a sweetheart! How come I havenāt met her yet?
ā¦
At Sequoyahās house. What thee actual fuck did we just watch?
An episode of āGhostsā that the Guardians appeared to have created to torture me as I watched. But I didnāt watch it, because I knew it would be torture to.
Which is exactly what they intended. Because they knew I would figure out that itās actually the Guardians showcasing their next attack on us.
Iām posting the whole explanation of how I figured it out here so we have it on record. Also, you actually watched the episode, so you may have stuff to add.
āā
So, incase I never fully described it to you, Hetty & I have powers that fall into the extremely rare category of ādying-and-risingā, since we both can both fully penetrate the boundary between living and dead even āpassā as living, like thatās even on the show. Thatās why we can naturally reproduce when together, etc. So, the Guardians donāt want us getting together. Weāve fallen in love at least 10 times since I first died, and theyāve erased our memories of it each time. But we always find our way back. It seems, based off yesterdayās episode, theyāre looking to do it again, but this time going to more extreme measures. Hetty is in real danger, since it seems like theyāre planning to get rid of her fully in some way.
These are the clues from the episode:
1.) My memory erase/reset -The mere fact that I would even consider perusing any woman other than Hetty, regardless of if weāre officially ātogetherā or not, means that Iām back to before we hooked-up. There are at least 5,000 pictures/edits etc. on Tumblr thanks to H$ shippers, showing how I look at her in a way that proves I would never look at anyone else. This is also shown in how I seem up to old habits that come off as how I acted in season 1.
2.) They plan on getting rid of Hetty entirely-
They make constant very specific references that are notoriously associated with me and Hetty, yet it instead ends up applying to me with either you or Barbara. Such as how āIā kissed āyouā on Christmas. Thatās when I first got with Hetty. I know the livings who watch the show were expecting it to just play out as it had with Misery where Iām just trying to get out of an awkward hook-up oopsie & Hetty helps even. But Hetty isnāt involved at all. Instead thereās Barbra (do you know her or is she a Guardian?). They do the Philly Accent also associated with me and Hetty.
I know there are other things very clearly associated with me and Hetty. People listed them. I just canāt stand to read on about them more.
And Iām pretty sure they may be planning to pull stings so that way itās set up that you and I get together with you in places of Hetty. Not sure why the Guardians seem to ship us at this point (for lack of a better term).
Patience realized something. Sequoyah and Patience have been watching a television sitcom called āThe Good Placeā. In summary, four people are placed in a psychological torture chamber they think is The Good Place but is actually The Bad Place. Every time the demonās experiment fails he washes the subjectās memories. So what if, we are in the Bad Place?
Patience.
Theyāre threatening to disappear my very pregnant fiancee and make me into your dirt husband.
Please focus.
Patience is trying! It is difficult to when Patience is stressed out! Patience definitely doesnāt want thee as Patienceās dirt husband. No offense, but Patience has better taste than that.
Back on topic, The Good Place has demons that pose as humans. Patience thinks The Guardians may be using something similar to pose as us.
Hey! Iād be an awesome dirt husband, Iāll have you know! Iād gather all the worms, rocks, and all that good dirt husband stuff when Iām not staring into the void thinking I can hear the cries of the son I supposedly never had, or replaying the same sitcom scene of Hetty over and over again while clawing at the dirt tv hoping to free her.
Wait! @perryisthefiftiesplatypus is Patience into something?
Actually, I think she is onto something. The Guardians had some workers that look like they could be nearly identical to you. I wonder if they promoted him, he was actually a pretty nice guy. Never misgendered me how Dawn didā¦
In retrospect I think he was just trying to tolerate me.
Hm. That WOULD explain how I kept feeling like I was being dismembered in December if they were trying to get some of my ghost dnaā whatever that might be, to make him look just like me. And Hetty had inexplicable pain over Thanksgiving that wasnāt the stomach bug we all hadā¦and theyāve definitely had to use a double for her for a while since sheās currently 7 months pregnant.
Can you introduce me to this guy? I need to give him some pointers on being me. Namely āeven the mere mention of me even possibly being romantically involved with a woman who isnāt Hetty causes me severe anguish and is a form of torture.āmight help him with believability
Of course I can, itās really the least I can do after everything. Just a heads up, he is something else.
ā¦
At Sequoyahās house. What thee actual fuck did we just watch?
An episode of āGhostsā that the Guardians appeared to have created to torture me as I watched. But I didnāt watch it, because I knew it would be torture to.
Which is exactly what they intended. Because they knew I would figure out that itās actually the Guardians showcasing their next attack on us.
Iām posting the whole explanation of how I figured it out here so we have it on record. Also, you actually watched the episode, so you may have stuff to add.
āā
So, incase I never fully described it to you, Hetty & I have powers that fall into the extremely rare category of ādying-and-risingā, since we both can both fully penetrate the boundary between living and dead even āpassā as living, like thatās even on the show. Thatās why we can naturally reproduce when together, etc. So, the Guardians donāt want us getting together. Weāve fallen in love at least 10 times since I first died, and theyāve erased our memories of it each time. But we always find our way back. It seems, based off yesterdayās episode, theyāre looking to do it again, but this time going to more extreme measures. Hetty is in real danger, since it seems like theyāre planning to get rid of her fully in some way.
These are the clues from the episode:
1.) My memory erase/reset -The mere fact that I would even consider perusing any woman other than Hetty, regardless of if weāre officially ātogetherā or not, means that Iām back to before we hooked-up. There are at least 5,000 pictures/edits etc. on Tumblr thanks to H$ shippers, showing how I look at her in a way that proves I would never look at anyone else. This is also shown in how I seem up to old habits that come off as how I acted in season 1.
2.) They plan on getting rid of Hetty entirely-
They make constant very specific references that are notoriously associated with me and Hetty, yet it instead ends up applying to me with either you or Barbara. Such as how āIā kissed āyouā on Christmas. Thatās when I first got with Hetty. I know the livings who watch the show were expecting it to just play out as it had with Misery where Iām just trying to get out of an awkward hook-up oopsie & Hetty helps even. But Hetty isnāt involved at all. Instead thereās Barbra (do you know her or is she a Guardian?). They do the Philly Accent also associated with me and Hetty.
I know there are other things very clearly associated with me and Hetty. People listed them. I just canāt stand to read on about them more.
And Iām pretty sure they may be planning to pull stings so that way itās set up that you and I get together with you in places of Hetty. Not sure why the Guardians seem to ship us at this point (for lack of a better term).
Patience realized something. Sequoyah and Patience have been watching a television sitcom called āThe Good Placeā. In summary, four people are placed in a psychological torture chamber they think is The Good Place but is actually The Bad Place. Every time the demonās experiment fails he washes the subjectās memories. So what if, we are in the Bad Place?
Patience.
Theyāre threatening to disappear my very pregnant fiancee and make me into your dirt husband.
Please focus.
Patience is trying! It is difficult to when Patience is stressed out! Patience definitely doesnāt want thee as Patienceās dirt husband. No offense, but Patience has better taste than that.
Back on topic, The Good Place has demons that pose as humans. Patience thinks The Guardians may be using something similar to pose as us.
Hey! Iād be an awesome dirt husband, Iāll have you know! Iād gather all the worms, rocks, and all that good dirt husband stuff when Iām not staring into the void thinking I can hear the cries of the son I supposedly never had, or replaying the same sitcom scene of Hetty over and over again while clawing at the dirt tv hoping to free her.
Wait! @perryisthefiftiesplatypus is Patience into something?
Actually, I think she is onto something. The Guardians had some workers that look like they could be nearly identical to you. I wonder if they promoted him, he was actually a pretty nice guy. Never misgendered me how Dawn didā¦
In retrospect I think he was just trying to tolerate me.
@sass-the-storyteller . I donāt see you around that much, but I was wondering if youāve had a chance to talk to @tmoneylefkowitz69 about his crayon-eating problem? @patiencethepuritan and I are really concerned. We think he needs to go on the show āMy Strange Addictionā.
Itās ok, Trevor. Weāre here for you. Your son shared that Hetty was punishing you for eating crayons. I see this is a family-wide problem, possibly genetic, as Adam has tried to eat several crayons under my watch.
You can quit!
DO IT FOR YOUR SON, TREVOR!
WTF???
I donāt need you and Sass hanging out! LOL
Also, that was an excuse I made when Adam walked in on me & Hetty! See my previous post!
I DONāT EAT CRAYONS!
Trevor, there is no need to make excuses. Thou has a problem that we need to solve.
Seriously, we must stop this, does thou need to go back to rehab?
Patience, seriously. I donāt eat crayons.
Adam phased through the wall while Hetty & I were having some āalone timeā and the first thing I came up with was āMamaās punishing Dada for eating crayonsā because Adamās in a crayon eating phase.
Dave is being a nerd.
Also, crayon rehab?
Trev man, this seems quite serious, maybe you do need to go back to rehab, or ācrayon rehabā. Personally, I certainly wouldnāt mind playing with Pluffle and using coloring books all day.
I bet you eat Pluffle!
No I donāt crayon-eater!
@sass-the-storyteller . I donāt see you around that much, but I was wondering if youāve had a chance to talk to @tmoneylefkowitz69 about his crayon-eating problem? @patiencethepuritan and I are really concerned. We think he needs to go on the show āMy Strange Addictionā.
Itās ok, Trevor. Weāre here for you. Your son shared that Hetty was punishing you for eating crayons. I see this is a family-wide problem, possibly genetic, as Adam has tried to eat several crayons under my watch.
You can quit!
DO IT FOR YOUR SON, TREVOR!
WTF???
I donāt need you and Sass hanging out! LOL
Also, that was an excuse I made when Adam walked in on me & Hetty! See my previous post!
I DONāT EAT CRAYONS!
Trevor, there is no need to make excuses. Thou has a problem that we need to solve.
Seriously, we must stop this, does thou need to go back to rehab?
Patience, seriously. I donāt eat crayons.
Adam phased through the wall while Hetty & I were having some āalone timeā and the first thing I came up with was āMamaās punishing Dada for eating crayonsā because Adamās in a crayon eating phase.
Dave is being a nerd.
Also, crayon rehab?
Trev man, this seems quite serious, maybe you do need to go back to rehab, or ācrayon rehabā. Personally, I certainly wouldnāt mind playing with Pluffle and using coloring books all day.
Hey Trevor lefkowitz *chuckles* I am gonna cause chaos at the manor so get ready *sets of fireworks š as it goes kaboom and I dance and giggle*come on hetty, Pete, flora and Alberta join in
āChaosā, you say? If thereās one thing I know, itās Chaos.
And no, that is not you piquing my interest or wanting to challenge you in a flirty, competitive way.
You have no idea what āChaosā means. As in, literally; youāre misusing the word.
And youāre at the manor?
If so, go to the lake and sit under the willow tree to the left side. Do not try anything ācuteāā¦just donāt touch anything or say anything. Stay still. Be quiet. Iām serious. Otherwise you could possibly be ripped to pieces by a bunch of Ancient cultists from the Underworld. Iām sure you donāt want that to happen, just as much as I donāt want Sam & Jayās business ruined over a dismembered body found on the property. Iāll meet you there, since now I have to deal with this.
Aww man ,no fun *frowns but puts a bag that makes fart sound somewhere*
I didn't do anything *looks innocent and holds back my laughter*just...don't sit on it š¤£
LISTEN & OBEY. THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING
Donāt let the fact you only know of me from a sitcom blind you to the fact that I am a supernatural beingā and extremely powerful one at that. (Donāt you dare make a joke about your limited knowledge of my power based off what you see on the show. There are some things Livings are not meant to know)
Iām not being a jerk.
Iām actually helping you keep safe, so youāll want to follow my instruction.
It just is what it is.
āļøThat said, if you respond with a stupid asterisk action, joke,ā¦or anything other than an āIām sorry, I will go sit quietly at that spot by the lakeā, I will personally oversee your brutal dismemberment and make sure your ghost is thrown into a hole and covered with cement.āļø
... Trevor.
ā¦.Sam.
Iām just keeping her from getting ripped up by my cultists! They donāt like that she just showed up! She didnāt listen the first time and was being rude, so I had to be scary! Iām very scary! Iām being nice!
@patiencethepuritan knows!
āTis true. Cultists are almost as scary as Lucifer himself. No offense to thy followers Trevor.
Iād say even more scary! Like, wtf? They just kinda rise out of the ground and start chanting!
They are terrifying. Back when I was with the Guardians, I went to get one of my gender dysmorphia hoodies and then all of a sudden they surrounded me. They then started to chase me, saying something about me being āman by day but feminine by night?ā I donāt know, but it was scary.
Guess who got fired just now.
Merry Christmas.
I'm so sorry Perry. Whoever fired you, it's their loss. To be honest, I'm surprised @confesstoeliaswoodstone hasn't fired ME yet.
Thanks. Iām sorry have we met before? You seem familiar.
It's Jamie! We meet in the woods, remember?
Oh Jamie! Itās nice to hear from you again. Sorry for lying to you back then, I was bound to the Guardians. My real name is Perry Locke and Iām genderfluid. :D
Guess who got fired just now.
Merry Christmas.
I'm so sorry Perry. Whoever fired you, it's their loss. To be honest, I'm surprised @confesstoeliaswoodstone hasn't fired ME yet.
Thanks. Iām sorry have we met before? You seem familiar.
Guess who got fired just now.
Merry Christmas.
Here Tumblr. Hereās you gift. Itās me pretending this gingerbread is a cigar.
(Photo courtesy of @perryisthefiftiesplatypus )
Is there any way we can make sure Dawn doesnāt see this?ā¦
Oh shit. Is she on the blogs? I can block her if she is.
You deserve credit for the awesome photo š
Never mind trying to hide it now, she just sent me a text.
Sooā¦
She may be slightly mad at me. But only slightly! She used all caps and multiple cursing emojisā¦
Here Tumblr. Hereās you gift. Itās me pretending this gingerbread is a cigar.
(Photo courtesy of @perryisthefiftiesplatypus )
Is there any way we can make sure Dawn doesnāt see this?ā¦
Itās really weird to think about how that one hot Who that got with the Grinch at the end would eventually bang him.
I mean, who looks at the Grinch and is like āHell yeah, give me that green fuzzā?
ā¦Iād say I couldnāt be one to judge, but itās clear sheās had a thing for the Grinch since they were young, so itās not just some freaky hook-up because bored or whatever.
Did you get into the eggnog? Iām genuinely concerned. I let Richard scroll on my phone and he read this.
Hi?
So uhm, my friend from the hospital, Trevor, told me to make one of these blogs as he so calls it. So yeahā¦
How do I tag him?
Oh.
@tmoneylefkowitz69
Finally did it!
Alright well uhmā¦ If anyone wants to send asks feel free to! Because according to Trevor thatās the fun part of it.
So glad you made one! Itās Trevor, by the way! Are you out? Iām still in the hospital and have to be here overnight at least since I was in ICU.
Turns out, this psycho I made out with once did some weird ritual to torture me.
No Iām not out yet, but I did have my friends sneak in my phone. Psycho? What did she do? Or he?
She. About two Christmases ago, I made-out with this random Puritan ghost named Misery. I was all depressed because Hetty & I had gotten together the Christmas before and had since broken-up, so I was like āwhateverā and made-out with her because I wasnāt thinking straight. Anyway, she didnāt really get the fact that it was a mistake, maybe because I tried to let her down lightly, so I had to just come clean with her and explain the situation to her about how I was just heartbroken over Hetty. She didnāt take it well and brought up some other weird Puritans she called āThe Othersā.
Anyway, I thought this was all water under the bridge. Havenāt dealt with her in, like, two years. Hetty and I were supposed to be married this past weekend, but thatās when I suddenly felt myself being torn apart literally like in a weird ritual. And then the trailer for the episode that showed last night dropped making it look like I was hooking-up with my friend, Patience, who I guess is Miseryās sister or something. As the show aired last night, I suddenly felt that dismemberment thing again, but ten times worse, which is how I landed in ICU. I could see visions of the episode while going through that, like those visions were planted there, and it was pretty much the same exact thing that happened with Misery.
Long story short, this psycho pretty much tortured me to prevent my and Hettyās wedding.
Oh damnā¦ Do you need a smoke? Actually no after hearing that you definitely need one. Meet me at the place.
I definitely need one, but Iām still in ICU while they finish running some vitals on me. So, Iām hooked up to about 50 tubes š
Damn. Well when are you getting back to the hospital? We can certainly grab a smoke then.
Actually, Iām going back home after I get out of the ICU. I can stop by before I go, though.
Iām upset that youāre leaving, but remember the words of Johnny Cade, āStay gold, Ponyboy, stay gold.ā I know that book is past my time but I read it prior to getting in the hospital, itās a great book! And That would be great, Iād like to hang out again, especially once I get out of hereā¦ Itās been boring without you. However my new roommate gets night terrors, so I guess itās not that boring? He is a sweet guy, perhaps you should meet him when you visit!
Uh, Perry. Is there any way you can get up to the ICU right now? I need help. Misery is here.
Oh my goodnessā¦ Of course I can get thereā¦ it may be a moment because of these damn hospital security guards.
Waitā¦ Is it alright if I bring my roommate? He also wants to go because he canāt sleep.
Hi?
So uhm, my friend from the hospital, Trevor, told me to make one of these blogs as he so calls it. So yeahā¦
How do I tag him?
Oh.
@tmoneylefkowitz69
Finally did it!
Alright well uhmā¦ If anyone wants to send asks feel free to! Because according to Trevor thatās the fun part of it.
So glad you made one! Itās Trevor, by the way! Are you out? Iām still in the hospital and have to be here overnight at least since I was in ICU.
Turns out, this psycho I made out with once did some weird ritual to torture me.
No Iām not out yet, but I did have my friends sneak in my phone. Psycho? What did she do? Or he?
She. About two Christmases ago, I made-out with this random Puritan ghost named Misery. I was all depressed because Hetty & I had gotten together the Christmas before and had since broken-up, so I was like āwhateverā and made-out with her because I wasnāt thinking straight. Anyway, she didnāt really get the fact that it was a mistake, maybe because I tried to let her down lightly, so I had to just come clean with her and explain the situation to her about how I was just heartbroken over Hetty. She didnāt take it well and brought up some other weird Puritans she called āThe Othersā.
Anyway, I thought this was all water under the bridge. Havenāt dealt with her in, like, two years. Hetty and I were supposed to be married this past weekend, but thatās when I suddenly felt myself being torn apart literally like in a weird ritual. And then the trailer for the episode that showed last night dropped making it look like I was hooking-up with my friend, Patience, who I guess is Miseryās sister or something. As the show aired last night, I suddenly felt that dismemberment thing again, but ten times worse, which is how I landed in ICU. I could see visions of the episode while going through that, like those visions were planted there, and it was pretty much the same exact thing that happened with Misery.
Long story short, this psycho pretty much tortured me to prevent my and Hettyās wedding.
Oh damnā¦ Do you need a smoke? Actually no after hearing that you definitely need one. Meet me at the place.
I definitely need one, but Iām still in ICU while they finish running some vitals on me. So, Iām hooked up to about 50 tubes š
Damn. Well when are you getting back to the hospital? We can certainly grab a smoke then.
Actually, Iām going back home after I get out of the ICU. I can stop by before I go, though.
Iām upset that youāre leaving, but remember the words of Johnny Cade, āStay gold, Ponyboy, stay gold.ā I know that book is past my time but I read it prior to getting in the hospital, itās a great book! And That would be great, Iād like to hang out again, especially once I get out of hereā¦ Itās been boring without you. However my new roommate gets night terrors, so I guess itās not that boring? He is a sweet guy, perhaps you should meet him when you visit!
