Pastor Dave

Dead & Saved 2004/Pure Dirt Ghost Evangelical Worship Leader (This is a Ghosts CBS OC)

[holydirtghost]

OOC :

This is a CBS Ghosts OC who in the Ghosts RP group. His opinions in no way are reflective of my own. He is a very particular type extreme conservative Evangelical minister that was prevalent in the early 2000’s. Please proceed with caution if you have any religious trauma.

————-IC————-

Pastor Dave here!

Since the new cool thing seems to be these blogs, I decided to make one a bit more “Holy” than some of the others we see around here at Woodstone! I know we’re all hip to the styles of this “Pantsless Messiah”, but there’s only one main rockstar, and that’s our man, JC!

Send me some asks for some answers, but keep in mind that I answer to the LORD!

Remember:

It’s not a religion, it’s a relationship! ✝️

EDIT: I’m trying not to be a “tool” as Trevor put it. I need to update my pinned post

[tmoneylefkowitz69]

Understand my powers , stupid Reddit a-holes!!!!!

[holydirtghost]

Oh god! He saw the post. Everyone hide! No joke!

[peaceloveandtrippyghostess]

The end is coming... ¡CORRAN POR SUS VIDAS!

[holydirtghost]

He’s on the roof swinging Thor’s ax! Quick! We need nachos and “The Cutting Edge”!

[peaceloveandtrippyghostess]

Thor's axe? @thorfinnhatesdanes, how can Trevor have your axe? IT CAN'T LEAVE YOU!!

[henrietta-woodstone]

@tmoneylefkowitz69 I left you alone for a few hours

~H. Woodstone

[tmoneylefkowitz69]

Ok, Hetty. I’ll get off the roof. 🥺

[holydirtghost]

@henrietta-woodstone Oh thank god for wife power. Please put a leash on him. @absent-sons and I got a child safety harness for Prissy since she’s a runner. Maybe see if they have one in adult man size.

[tmoneylefkowitz69]

@holydirtghost @absent-sons Why does your kid have a leash?

[holydirtghost]

Why does your kid carry around an emotional support can of beans?

Toddlers, man.

[tmoneylefkowitz69]

Understand my powers , stupid Reddit a-holes!!!!!

[holydirtghost]

Oh god! He saw the post. Everyone hide! No joke!

[peaceloveandtrippyghostess]

The end is coming... ¡CORRAN POR SUS VIDAS!

[holydirtghost]

He’s on the roof swinging Thor’s ax! Quick! We need nachos and “The Cutting Edge”!

[peaceloveandtrippyghostess]

Thor's axe? @thorfinnhatesdanes, how can Trevor have your axe? IT CAN'T LEAVE YOU!!

[henrietta-woodstone]

@tmoneylefkowitz69 I left you alone for a few hours

~H. Woodstone

[tmoneylefkowitz69]

Ok, Hetty. I’ll get off the roof. 🥺

[holydirtghost]

@henrietta-woodstone Oh thank god for wife power. Please put a leash on him. @absent-sons and I got a child safety harness for Prissy since she’s a runner. Maybe see if they have one in adult man size.

[tmoneylefkowitz69]

Understand my powers , stupid Reddit a-holes!!!!!

[holydirtghost]

Oh god! He saw the post. Everyone hide! No joke!

[peaceloveandtrippyghostess]

The end is coming... ¡CORRAN POR SUS VIDAS!

[holydirtghost]

He’s on the roof swinging Thor’s ax! Quick! We need nachos and “The Cutting Edge”!

[tmoneylefkowitz69]

Understand my powers , stupid Reddit a-holes!!!!!

[holydirtghost]

Oh god! He saw the post. Everyone hide! No joke!

[tmoneylefkowitz69]

Hi. I’m Trevor Lefkowitz, and I would like to tell you about the Daves I know!

These are the Daves I know, I know

These are the Daves I know.

These are the Dave’s I know, I know

These are the Daves I know.

David Woodstone. He dumped me in a lake.He was a former Lehman Bro, now he haunts a strip club.

These are the Daves I know, I know.

These are the Daves I know.

Dave Price ( @holydirtghost ), he’s one of my best friends. He’s dating Jesse ( @absent-sons ), and we’re three cool Gen-X guys.

Some of them are Davids, but most of them are Daves.

They all have their own hands and they come from different moms.

These are the Daves I know, I know

These are the Daves I know

Dave, Mark’s son, he’s a kid. He can see ghosts, and he thought Isaac was a pirate.

These are the Daves I know, I know

These are the Daves I know.

Dave the plumber. I hardly know him…

These are the Daves I know , I know

These are the Daves I know!

[holydirtghost]

What drug are you on?

Also, love Kids in the Hall.

[holydirtghost]

@sass-the-storyteller . I don’t see you around that much, but I was wondering if you’ve had a chance to talk to @tmoneylefkowitz69 about his crayon-eating problem? @patiencethepuritan and I are really concerned. We think he needs to go on the show “My Strange Addiction”.

It’s ok, Trevor. We’re here for you. Your son shared that Hetty was punishing you for eating crayons. I see this is a family-wide problem, possibly genetic, as Adam has tried to eat several crayons under my watch.

You can quit!

DO IT FOR YOUR SON, TREVOR!

[tmoneylefkowitz69]

WTF???

I don’t need you and Sass hanging out! LOL

Also, that was an excuse I made when Adam walked in on me & Hetty! See my previous post!

I DON’T EAT CRAYONS!

[holydirtghost]

I get it.

Father & Son cracking’ open a fresh pack of Crayola.

[holydirtghost]

@sass-the-storyteller . I don’t see you around that much, but I was wondering if you’ve had a chance to talk to @tmoneylefkowitz69 about his crayon-eating problem? @patiencethepuritan and I are really concerned. We think he needs to go on the show “My Strange Addiction”.

It’s ok, Trevor. We’re here for you. Your son shared that Hetty was punishing you for eating crayons. I see this is a family-wide problem, possibly genetic, as Adam has tried to eat several crayons under my watch.

You can quit!

DO IT FOR YOUR SON, TREVOR!

[patiencethepuritan]

Today in Patience’s religious trauma therapy group @jean-anne-caldwell showed Patience and @holydirtghost the film “But I’m A Cheerleader”. ‘Twas a sad film of many homosexuals being forced to play a heterosexual lifestyle. Patience didn’t like the moral of how they forced these people to be what they considered “straight is great”. But Patience is enjoyed that Graham and Megan got their happy ending, but there was one thing that seriously bothered Patience, it was some simulator, Patience didn’t like that part. Overall the film wasn’t as sinful as Patience imagined it to be.

[holydirtghost]

It was really triggering for me 😢

[jean-anne-caldwell]

@holydirtghost @absent-sons

If you guys trade you rubber ducky for a cigar box and your paper clip collection for a soap dish can I be your Mr. Hooper?

[holydirtghost]

LOL!

Am I Ernie or Burt?

[absent-sons]

Good question! I saw ‘cigar box’, and immediately got curious.

[holydirtghost]

I’m just trying to figure out why Jean wants a cigar box and a soap dish.

[absent-sons]

…I might have read her post wrong.

[holydirtghost]

Is it a reference to the show?

Do you want a cigar box?

[jean-anne-caldwell]

You guys are uncultured, you were both alive when that movie came out. Dave even more so.

[holydirtghost]

But we didn’t have kids , so we weren’t watching Sesame Street. You saw this as little kid.

[jean-anne-caldwell]

@holydirtghost @absent-sons

If you guys trade you rubber ducky for a cigar box and your paper clip collection for a soap dish can I be your Mr. Hooper?

[holydirtghost]

LOL!

Am I Ernie or Burt?

[absent-sons]

Good question! I saw ‘cigar box’, and immediately got curious.

[holydirtghost]

I’m just trying to figure out why Jean wants a cigar box and a soap dish.

[absent-sons]

…I might have read her post wrong.

[holydirtghost]

Is it a reference to the show?

Do you want a cigar box?

[jean-anne-caldwell]

@holydirtghost @absent-sons

If you guys trade you rubber ducky for a cigar box and your paper clip collection for a soap dish can I be your Mr. Hooper?

[holydirtghost]

LOL!

Am I Ernie or Burt?

[absent-sons]

Good question! I saw ‘cigar box’, and immediately got curious.

[holydirtghost]

I’m just trying to figure out why Jean wants a cigar box and a soap dish.

[jean-anne-caldwell]

@holydirtghost @absent-sons

If you guys trade you rubber ducky for a cigar box and your paper clip collection for a soap dish can I be your Mr. Hooper?

[holydirtghost]

LOL!

Am I Ernie or Burt?

[perryisthefiftiesplatypus]

Hi?

So uhm, my friend from the hospital, Trevor, told me to make one of these blogs as he so calls it. So yeah…

How do I tag him?

Oh.

@tmoneylefkowitz69

Finally did it!

Alright well uhm… If anyone wants to send asks feel free to! Because according to Trevor that’s the fun part of it.

[tmoneylefkowitz69]

So glad you made one! It’s Trevor, by the way! Are you out? I’m still in the hospital and have to be here overnight at least since I was in ICU.

Turns out, this psycho I made out with once did some weird ritual to torture me.

[perryisthefiftiesplatypus]

No I’m not out yet, but I did have my friends sneak in my phone. Psycho? What did she do? Or he?

[tmoneylefkowitz69]

She. About two Christmases ago, I made-out with this random Puritan ghost named Misery. I was all depressed because Hetty & I had gotten together the Christmas before and had since broken-up, so I was like “whatever” and made-out with her because I wasn’t thinking straight. Anyway, she didn’t really get the fact that it was a mistake, maybe because I tried to let her down lightly, so I had to just come clean with her and explain the situation to her about how I was just heartbroken over Hetty. She didn’t take it well and brought up some other weird Puritans she called “The Others”.

Anyway, I thought this was all water under the bridge. Haven’t dealt with her in, like, two years. Hetty and I were supposed to be married this past weekend, but that’s when I suddenly felt myself being torn apart literally like in a weird ritual. And then the trailer for the episode that showed last night dropped making it look like I was hooking-up with my friend, Patience, who I guess is Misery’s sister or something. As the show aired last night, I suddenly felt that dismemberment thing again, but ten times worse, which is how I landed in ICU. I could see visions of the episode while going through that, like those visions were planted there, and it was pretty much the same exact thing that happened with Misery.

Long story short, this psycho pretty much tortured me to prevent my and Hetty’s wedding.

[holydirtghost]

Oh ew! Misery is disgusting! @absent-sons @patiencethepuritan , are you reading this?

[tmoneylefkowitz69]

The worst thing is being a ghost and getting a stomach virus after twenty-five years of not having to worry about anything like that.

[ghostseersam]

You guys leave for one. Day.

[belavsthedatingworld]

Jeez Sam, what the hell is going on at Woodstone?

[ghostseersam]

Things in the Underworld, I think. As far as I remember, the ghosts are basically human in there

[belavsthedatingworld]

Yikes. That sounds horrific.

[tmoneylefkowitz69]

We’re all better now, thankfully, and back at Woodstone. Though, Hetty’s having some pregnancy pains.

[belavsthedatingworld]

Double yikes, I hope Hetty gets better but I think that’s a sign for me and @devotedboyfriendofbelaarondekar to never have kids.

[tmoneylefkowitz69]

Awww, don’t let that dissuade you! You gotta meet our son, Adam. He’s proof of how it’s all worth it. Being a dad is the greatest!

[absent-sons]

Yeah, and being an uncle ain’t half bad, either! Aside from the whole stomach bug thing.

[tmoneylefkowitz69]

Dave and I can’t get over how you’re LITERALLY Uncle Jesse 😂

[absent-sons]

We still need to do that Full House marathon, y’know.

[tmoneylefkowitz69]

We do! I forget you died before it came out! I’m worried you guys will peg me as the “Danny”, though. Haha.

[holydirtghost]

You’re 100% the Danny.

Wait.

Does that make me Uncle Joey?

[holydirtghost]

My greatest accomplishment to date is turning @tmoneylefkowitz69 into a Swiftie because he “girlbossed too close to the sun” 😂

[holydirtghost]

Missing Ghost Child

2 year old, Caucasian male

Curly brown hair and blue eyes

Presumed safe in the Underworld

————————————————————————-

Posting this on behalf of my dear friends @tmoneylefkowitz69 & @henrietta-woodstone . They recently discovered that they had a child about two years ago that was taken from Hetty while she was still pregnant with him and all our memories were erased of it until a few days ago.

I know this likely doesn’t make a lot of sense to the Livings reading this, especially not those of you who only know of them from the show. But what matters is that they’re real ghosts and this is extremely heartbreaking and frightening for them, especially given that Hetty is currently pregnant with their second child. Please keep them, their son, and their unborn daughter in your prayers and send them love.

If anyone has any information on the baby’s location, please contact me, @patiencethepuritan , @thorfinnhatesdanes , @absent-sons , and/or @peaceloveandtrippyghostess immediately.

-Pastor David Price