PAULA MENESES

instagram.com/pauhla

[paulameneses]

In the madness of it all, I find you.

In the calmness of it all, I find you.

I hope I get to find you again.

[paulameneses]

I just cried because I realized all the things I’m so blessed to have and am so thankful for. I’m thankful for my beautiful mind, my health, the people around me and how lucky I am to have experienced so many beautiful things and amazing feelings. I’m turning 27 in 3 days and I can’t help but look back on my life and be so grateful.

[paulameneses]

Life is beautiful and I’m genuinely so happy again. I can feel again and looking back I think I took so much of that for granted. I was numb for so long that I’ve forgotten what it was like to be this open and transparent with my emotions and people around me. I’ve always loved my life, but getting to feel again and welcoming every good and bad emotion feels so freeing. I feel like writing again, exploring every city, getting to know myself and learning new things.

[paulameneses]

I’m so proud of myself lately. I’ve just been focused on myself and not concerned about other people’s lives or things that don’t bring me happiness. I no longer feed my unhealthy habits and simply just don’t care anymore about the people in the past who have wronged me. I let go of all the anger and hate, I refuse to let it consume me or give it my time, attention or energy. Life is so beautiful and I’m so blessed and incredibly lucky to have the life I have. There is so much happiness in being detached. I have really missed this carefree feeling. I feel like a kid again. I feel free. This is a love letter to myself.

[paulameneses]

Life has been so hard lately. I feel so alone but I know I’m not. I don’t ask for help because I don’t want my loved ones worried. I feel ungrateful if I complain and in general I get over things quickly and am naturally a happy and positive person but it’s been hard because I think my nervous system is shot from letting myself sit through so much discomfort & disrespect.

[paulameneses]

I literally just cried because I realized how much of a good person I am and how lucky I am to get to spend the rest of my life with myself and genuinely loving who I am and how I am as a person. 🥹 Then I proceeded to thank whoever god is and all my past selves and past lives for being a good person as well. Am I on crack or is this just self love on a new level? 🤣

[paulameneses]

How did you get over your break up? How do you get over spending so much time with someone to not being able to speak to them at all? No closure.

I honestly just think of myself and how cool & pretty I am lol.

[paulameneses]

👋 know you’ve been in a relationship for a while, but I followed your page for a while now. I love your photography and concept and vibe of your photos, how do you manage to make it look like you’re alone and in solitude in most of your pictures? Do you have apps you recommend?

Thank you! I’ve actually never edited people out my photos. I just got lucky going to those places when there were barely any people. I’ve always recommended vsco although I don’t use it as much anymore. I just use the photos app on iphone to edit contrast & brightness. I honestly think good photography + editing requires you having good taste.. an app won’t make your own aesthetic, you have to choose & create it yourself imo and play around with editing on ur own.

[paulameneses]

it’s all love, really

so thankful for this life and my family and friends. I feel so loved and am so loved. I wish the same for everyone else

[paulameneses]

swimming in the ocean while it rains >>>>>

[paulameneses]

The days you feel depressed and insecure, what do you do? I am constantly comparing myself to other females.

I just feel the emotions and cry it out/let it pass. It’s okay to compare! Just let it motivate you to be better instead of being a hater or being jealous. :)

[paulameneses]

How do you deal with heartbreak or jealousy?

I just remind myself of how I could be treated way better and that it was my love that made the person so special. You could take that power back anytime and put it into yourself and others who really deserve it. :)

[paulameneses]

love is really the best thing in the universe and I’ve always known it

[paulameneses]

This post isn’t meant to be sad or suicidal because when I think it I’m in a happy state of mind, but if something were ever to happen to me, all I’d ever want my family to know and find comfort in, is that I was the happiest I could ever be, and although they might not think it, I feel or felt that I’ve accomplished everything I’ve ever dreamed of and more because in my mind I’ve lived such a full and wholesome life because of them.

[club-kushi]

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[paulameneses]

11:36 AM October 11, 2019

I hope I never lose this part of myself. The need to constantly grow and change myself for the better, and also to remain this outspoken and opinionated but with grace. I’ve met so many people who are intimidated by these qualities and how sure I am of myself and what I want in life. I’ve had people that have made me second guess my purpose in life because it wasn’t the same as theirs. I’ve always known when to leave and who to keep my distance from. I’ve grown to know what is for me and have gained enough wisdom to know how to keep a healthy distance from people I want to disassociate myself with. I am open minded with all sorts of groups and different lifestyles but I’m aware of what and what isn’t for me. I don’t feel the need to fit in, I’m not easily influenced, swayed/manipulated, but I do keep an open mind to improving my life. I’ve always chosen to let good things influence me instead of the bad. Truth is I’m not saying this because I think I’m perfect or that I have life all figured out but honestly it feels so f*cking good to be so sure of myself again. I wish the same kind of growth, sense of worth and self realization for everyone else.

[nothingtomention]