IM SORRY FOR NOT ANSWERING A LOT OF ASKS there have been an influx of long ones and its fatiguing for me bc the disabilities
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Xuebing Du
art blog(derogatory)
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Three Goblin Art
trying on a metaphor

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@pawlmtree
IM SORRY FOR NOT ANSWERING A LOT OF ASKS there have been an influx of long ones and its fatiguing for me bc the disabilities
hey max, i just wanted to wish you happy birthday and i hope youre doing well. i been following you since 2020 after discovering your art from projmoon fandom, and your art has continued to inspire me. we were twitter mutuals back in the day and i always think of you fondly... we are the same age except youre 1 day older so i think about how its your birthday too lol. keep continuing on and have the best life you can. peace!!
Hi 🥺 thank you so much for the message, I'm always glad to hear from past mutuals or people who remember me from years ago/from my various eras (projmoon was a Huge one for me and absolutely saved my life) im so glad to hear that my art inspired you and HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY TO YOU AS WELL!!!! 🎂 ❤️ 🎈
i received all of these messages within the same 2 hours thank you so much everyone who synced up to tell me about these beautiful animals <3 (it was also like 10 minutes after 3 of my friends had personally DMMed/pinged me showing me the exact same thing) so collectively thats A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO ALL SAW THE PLUSHIE COLLECTION AND THOUGHT OF ME.... im very touched..thank you again hehe. from what i can see it looks like the lion is only white furred and in a mini size, so i hope they at least release a pink furred lion and maybe even a full sized version too!!!
Howdy, I just wanted to say, I've been following you since I think we were both 14 or so. We're both furries, trans, and systems. Your art is amazing and your openness about being a system and being trans has brought light into my life. I genuinely enjoy seeing your posts on my dash. With the risk of sounding parasocial, I would just like to express that you are fantastic at what you do, you matter, and I hope you have a wonderful day.
Bye bye :3
aww thank you for such a heartfelt message... it always brightens my day when i get messages from people revealing that they've been following me/my art since way back when.... thank you for the kind words and solidarity <3 i appreciate it
sometimes the way that u draw yourself/your sona looks so much like me/my sona that it makes me want to draw more furries
that's awrsome!!! i'd love to see ur sona if u wanna share :3
please draw more furries! i am always saying this. more furry art
you probably get hundreds of these, but seeing you post art relating to your identity and trauma really inspires me to express myself with art. I've been stagnate with art for years because I'm always worrying about being productive (only making art if it's something "good enough" to be posted oe if it's related to commissions) but your art motivated me to just draw whatever I want. if I want to draw my fursona 10 times with weird background patterns with things relating to my trauma I will. please never stop making art
Even though I do get hundreds of asks, that doesn't change how much it means to me that somebody took the time out of their day to leave a message for me <3 so I apologize on behalf of myself who's left so many asks unanswered or answers them super late or whatever else... What I mean to say is thank you for taking the time to send me this message! I'm so glad to hear that my vulnerable work was resonant with you... It took a lot of time and bravery for me to share that work , and there's still a lot I haven't share and probably some I never will , but I encourage you to draw WHATEVER YOU WANT!!!!!!! and share it if that feels right for you!!! There is absolutely nothing wrong with drawing your fursona 100 times even in the same poses or same scenarios and even if there's no """"improvement""" between iterations, all that matters is that you make the art that works best for you & makes you feel happy and cathartic and true to yourself. I want to make art for the rest of my life! So don't you worry ! Even if my hands give out (which, let's be real, they're already at the point where drawing for 20 minutes causes pain flares) I'll have to learn how to draw with my mouth or feet !
Actually ever since 2021 or 2022 I've been training myself to draw with my left hand since my right hand is my dominant one and obviously therefore the one with the repetitive stress injury and chronic issues in both the elbow and wrist, whereas my left hand doesn't have chronic use injuries/pains, just the general joint pains from having hEDS, so I wanna get better at drawing with my left hand this year and next year too .... I haven't had many opportunities to practice but I do remember in 2023 in school I'd usually have to switch to writing notes with my left hand midday/during my evening class because the pain in my right hand was so unbearable and I did get moderately skilled with using my left hand to make drawings too, but somehow after a year or so of not practicing, it seems like I've lost that skill entirely?@! Funny how that works. Who knows, maybe I'll be able to get it back with less practice than it took the first time because I already did it before, or maybe it'll be harder this time because my joint pain is worse than it used to be..... Regardless, I will keep making art until I die no matter what because consuming, interacting with, and creating art is what makes my life worthwhile to live despite all the suffering I deal with due to the mental and physical illnesses. Sorry this ended up as such a ramble oops....to anyone else who needs to hear it: PLEASE NEVER STOP MAKING ART!!!!!!!
hiii!! i might have sent smth like this before but ur “guide to understanding oneself” piece is so so beautiful and touching and made me reflect on the fact that ive been following u since u used that first fursona in the teen column with the bell collar.. (i used to be serene oxaroo on deviantart !!) we dont rly know each other personally but ur work has made & continues to make such an impact on me and im grateful for you being such an inspiration to me over the years. i hope you have a lovely day (p.s. i rly love the collage work you’ve been doing!!)
Thank you so much for the message 🥺🥺❤️ I do think u reached out before abt recognizing me from my past self/past times back on DeviantArt but I believe that was before I had drawn the guide to understanding oneself !!!?
So regardless thank u for sending another message :D always glad to hear from you bc I also remember your old self/old fursona!!! And I'm so glad you were able to recognize mine in that piece ^w^ it feels really validating to those parts of myself because when they resurface to the present they often feel really lonely and like all of their friends are gone or unreachable since well...it's been almost 10 years now since then..... And we can't deny the fact that our friendships and groups Have drastically changed, but it always feels relieving and grounding and somehow like a feeling of "yes, I'm real, thank goodness" when we encounter others out there who did know those past versions of myself in those past years <3 so I'm glad !! Yippeee !
Thank u so much for the nice words and I'm so glad to be considered an inspiration to u :D and I wanna make more collages this year!!!!!! I've got lots of trash and wrappers and materials saved from last year that's just waiting for me to have the inspiration and time and physical ability/tolerable pain level to be able to do collage work ^w^
hi hi just curious to see if you're open to comms at the moment!
Hello!! Thank you so much for thr inquiry and I apologize for my somewhat late response, the short answer is that no, my queue is completely full and overdue at this time, however, I am open for price quotes at any time for free (just send me a DM!) And I am absolutely open to discussing the details of a commission and planning to add you in once I finish my current backlog, but I expect it to take around 2 months or so before I'll be officially "open" if that makes any sense 😭 (basically: can't take new slots ATM but feel free to DM me any time for price quotes or to discuss potential future commission works❤️)
hello!! I really love your art piece "guide to understanding yourself". Like, really really resonates with me it's such a beautiful image on such a deep level. I was wondering if it's ok if I was to use your piece as a framework to try and place some of my OCs in the different spaces to try and get a frame of mind for myself too? not to post it!! but just like a 1:1 personal reference for self study. I do have a question about the process though: Did you use or draw yourself as one of each of the representations in a public facing way for them to count? or did you draw them specifically for that image?
For example, I have many characters I specifically tried to create for self expression, but if I found an old OC of mine that could've been applied to these categories but I never posted them on my socials or even drew them more than once. Does that count? Especially if I didn't realise or intend for it to be a self-rep during the oc creation, is that still applicable to the guide? I think I know the answer already I'm just autistic asf and looking for help on the 'rules' if that makes sense lmao. Thanks a bunch and please let me know if for any reason you're uncomfy with this
Hi there ! Thanks for the message/questions. Yes! Absolutely you're allowed to make your own piece inspired by it. And id love to see it if you'd be willing to share it :)
To be honest, it wasn't made to actually be a strict "guide" or rigid structure that others need to follow if they want to make their own versions. So please feel free to create your own version in whatever way makes sense to YOU and your personal sense of identity through fursona(s) and/or OCs and/or any other form of self representation or expression!
Follow what feels the best/makes the most sense to you, don't worry about "breaking" any "rules" set by my original, because I didn't make it with strict rules intended in the first place :) I made it as my own personal sense of self representation & expression, and hoped that it would resonate with others in a variety of ways, because everybody finds different things or views things from their own unique perspective. :) have fun ❤️
(since this ended up being longer than i expected, tldr: how did you come to terms with the fact that you needed mobility aids? specifically your wheelchair, but other mobility aids too if you think that would be helpful to talk about)
hi max, ive been following your art blog for im pretty sure multiple years now, but i actually wanted to ask you about your hEDS. ive recently been doing a lot of research, and i think i probably have it. im currently waiting until monday so i can call my pcp and schedule an appointment to try and get a referral to someone who knows more about EDS. it definitely explains a lot of things that happen and have happened to me in my life. the most prevalent thing pain-wise for me is my feet. my whole life, i have had terrible pain in my feet if ive been walking for a while. so bad that when i was in high school i would get home and my feet would be throbbing just from the walking at school + the walk to and from the bus stop. and on outings with my family, my feet sometimes start hurting so bad that i want to cry and i start walking on the sides of my feet to try and alleviate the pain. today i made the realization that i could benefit from mobility aids. after a bit of thinking and research, i realized that the best option for me would be a wheelchair. this was a really upsetting realization for me for multiple reasons. coming to terms with the fact that i really am disabled, worrying about my family worrying about me if they see me in a wheelchair (even though they know about my foot pain), etc. i just wanted to ask, how did you come to terms with needing mobility aids? specifically your wheelchair? i know you don't use it all the time, i don't think i would either since walking short distances isn't much of a problem for me. if you think talking about your experience with coming to terms with needing crutches would be helpful as well, then by all means, go ahead.
Firstly, thank you so much for taking the time to write this message to me. Secondly, my apologies for replying so late (ironically the chronic pain and Brain fog makes it difficult to read and reply to long asks like these about disability so I do appreciate the provided tldr so I know your main concern!)
I sincerely hope you've/you'll be able to get appointments, assessments, diagnoses, and treatments from trained physicians!!! It's so awfully unfortunately common that doctors don't know much about hypermobility spectrum disorders or haven't even heard of EDS (i have witnessed multiple of my doctors goofing EDS in front of me or confidently telling me misinformation about my own conditions lol)
As for mobility aids, its i think its wonderful and commendable that you've realized that using one might help improve your mobility and quality of life. But i do also greatly understand the senses of 'grief' or 'denial' that come along with it, because somehow accepting that you need a mobility aid means accepting that 1) you'll be looked at & treated differently, and 2) with wheelchairs specifically (but can apply to other aids too like walkers and such) it means accepting that large parts of the world will now become inaccessible to you. And that sucks. It truly does. But for me at least, the benefit that using a wheelchair has brought me has made it worthwhile. I can stay outside on multiple hour long outings without feeling like im going to pass out from POTS or collapse from pain! I can go out on my own for longer and carry more things with me by putting the bags on my wheelchair handles! (Carring bags by hand almost always puts my wrists or elbows in subluxation)
But I understand the hesitation. I sometimes wonder what it would be like if fully able-bodied, non chronically ill/chronically pained people were put in an experimental situation in which they had to use a wheelchair for one day. I wonder what they'd notice that they'd never even been conscious of before. The small bumps on curbs and doorways and gaps between the traincar and the platform and all the STAIRCASES. when you use a wheelchair while also being chronically ill/chronically pained its essentially like being in a multi-player open world game, but you cant access half the map and you will never be able to, but all the other players can. And so they get to benefit from the experience and items in those locations that you'll never be able to enter. And you are constantly taking poison damage and even healing potions will never refill your healthbar to full. Something like that idk i got caught up in the hypothetical metaphor for a moment there but that is to say, I understand the grief that comes with accepting that you need a wheelchair. And I hope that everything will go smoothly for you. I hope that the benefits that mobility aids may be able to bring to you will improve your life and make it worthwhile. Good luck
hi, sorry i didn't look at this sooner, i was kind of nervous to read it even though i knew it wouldn't be mean or anything. but i really want to thank you for taking the time to respond. i had my appointment with my pcp and it went well, she actually knew quite a bit about eds. she gave me a referral to genetics and i haven't called them yet but i hope it all continues to go well. it's anxiety inducing, talking to these doctors and just hoping they'll listen to me. but i have to try. it'll never get better if i don't try. im kind of worried that the issues i have will not be considered "enough" for a wheelchair in the eyes of doctors. but i can't find out if i don't try. i can't really think of anything else to say right now, but thank you again for offering your perspective. i hope one day i can be in a spot where im not in as much pain.
No worries at all for the delayed reply at all! I'm so glad to hear that your appointment went well :) and yes, I know it's always an anxiety inducing struggle to continue the journey of self advocacy and searching for solutions and treatments and people who will actually listen to & help you, but please don't give up. Even when it feels hopeless, unfortunately, it's on us to make the decision to keep living, and keep putting in the effort and work that it takes to schedule new appointments and show up to them. And also don't worry, my physician from a few years back (during 2021-2022) told me "there's no reason someone like you would need a wheelchair. Only paralyzed people or people with lower limb difficulties should use wheelchairs. You'll just be causing yourself muscle atrophy and regress in your own health by using something you don't need." And SHE WAS FUCKING WRONG!!!! because after I finally started using a wheelchair in 2023, my quality of life DRASTICALLY improved and my sense of personal autonomy, and ability to be outside for long outings without causing symptom flare ups made it all SO WORTHWHILE. So even if your doctor tells you that you don't need a mobility aid, you are the one who knows your own body and needs the best, and you are allowed to test the waters by trying out different mobility aids and seeing what helps you. Good luck.
hi, can I ask you how did you learned japanese ? btw ur awesome, have a nice day
Hi!! Primarily through college courses, which i know unfortunately not everyone has access to :(
But if you are able to enroll in community college, its a much cheaper option and thats where I took my first japanese class.
If you're going to be self studying, I recommend buying multiple textbooks and studying them alongside audio or video explanations from educators who can explain and give more context to the chapters and lessons :) for example, this youtuber covers all of the genki and quartet textbook chapter contents while also providing modern relevant example sentences and situations! https://youtube.com/@tokiniandy?si=wUijUvD-2jj3Z-4I
Good luck ! 頑張ってくさいね!!一歩一歩で
(since this ended up being longer than i expected, tldr: how did you come to terms with the fact that you needed mobility aids? specifically your wheelchair, but other mobility aids too if you think that would be helpful to talk about)
hi max, ive been following your art blog for im pretty sure multiple years now, but i actually wanted to ask you about your hEDS. ive recently been doing a lot of research, and i think i probably have it. im currently waiting until monday so i can call my pcp and schedule an appointment to try and get a referral to someone who knows more about EDS. it definitely explains a lot of things that happen and have happened to me in my life. the most prevalent thing pain-wise for me is my feet. my whole life, i have had terrible pain in my feet if ive been walking for a while. so bad that when i was in high school i would get home and my feet would be throbbing just from the walking at school + the walk to and from the bus stop. and on outings with my family, my feet sometimes start hurting so bad that i want to cry and i start walking on the sides of my feet to try and alleviate the pain. today i made the realization that i could benefit from mobility aids. after a bit of thinking and research, i realized that the best option for me would be a wheelchair. this was a really upsetting realization for me for multiple reasons. coming to terms with the fact that i really am disabled, worrying about my family worrying about me if they see me in a wheelchair (even though they know about my foot pain), etc. i just wanted to ask, how did you come to terms with needing mobility aids? specifically your wheelchair? i know you don't use it all the time, i don't think i would either since walking short distances isn't much of a problem for me. if you think talking about your experience with coming to terms with needing crutches would be helpful as well, then by all means, go ahead.
Firstly, thank you so much for taking the time to write this message to me. Secondly, my apologies for replying so late (ironically the chronic pain and Brain fog makes it difficult to read and reply to long asks like these about disability so I do appreciate the provided tldr so I know your main concern!)
I sincerely hope you've/you'll be able to get appointments, assessments, diagnoses, and treatments from trained physicians!!! It's so awfully unfortunately common that doctors don't know much about hypermobility spectrum disorders or haven't even heard of EDS (i have witnessed multiple of my doctors googling EDS in front of me or confidently telling me misinformation about my own conditions lol)
As for mobility aids, its i think its wonderful and commendable that you've realized that using one might help improve your mobility and quality of life. But i do also greatly understand the senses of 'grief' or 'denial' that come along with it, because somehow accepting that you need a mobility aid means accepting that 1) you'll be looked at & treated differently, and 2) with wheelchairs specifically (but can apply to other aids too like walkers and such) it means accepting that large parts of the world will now become inaccessible to you. And that sucks. It truly does. But for me at least, the benefit that using a wheelchair has brought me has made it worthwhile. I can stay outside on multiple hour long outings without feeling like im going to pass out from POTS or collapse from pain! I can go out on my own for longer and carry more things with me by putting the bags on my wheelchair handles! (Carring bags by hand almost always puts my wrists or elbows in subluxation)
But I understand the hesitation. I sometimes wonder what it would be like if fully able-bodied, non chronically ill/chronically pained people were put in an experimental situation in which they had to use a wheelchair for one day. I wonder what they'd notice that they'd never even been conscious of before. The small bumps on curbs and doorways and gaps between the traincar and the platform and all the STAIRCASES. when you use a wheelchair while also being chronically ill/chronically pained its essentially like being in a multi-player open world game, but you cant access half the map and you will never be able to, but all the other players can. And so they get to benefit from the experience and items in those locations that you'll never be able to enter. And you are constantly taking poison damage and even healing potions will never refill your healthbar to full. Something like that idk i got caught up in the hypothetical metaphor for a moment there but that is to say, I understand the grief that comes with accepting that you need a wheelchair. And I hope that everything will go smoothly for you. I hope that the benefits that mobility aids may be able to bring to you will improve your life and make it worthwhile. Good luck
hi max you’re really cool and i lowkey am crushing on you
THIS IS FLATTERING BUT I CAN ASSURE YOU you only have feelings for the version of muyself that i have projected and curated on the internet (which is fine) anyway um thank you i guess <3 yay
HAI i just wanted to say i saw one of your designs in the wild got a pagedoll comm from an artist I follow :] https://toyhou.se/34666599.pagedoll-commissions-closed/34666726.animated-42#112483364 they're being loved
AWWW OMG thank u for sharing this it makes me so happy to see my designs being used/drawn/commissioned for such cool pieces like this wow :D
I FORGOT. HAPPY 2ND DAY OF HANUKKAH MAX !!!
TJANKYOU!!!
hi max. i really like your masks + i've found myself super inspired by them, so i made this :] it kinda doesn't look like i used your tutorial at all but i very much did, it was nicely helpful in figuring out the basic shapes + construction. this is my favorite pokeymon evar + it's very me! i'm very this. i love expressing myself through art and yours has inspired me to do it (since the early deviantart days! woaw) + you are so right about needing to make art despite the body being against you. this was hard to make but i'm glad i made it. thank you for being so swagful and yourself :] one million celebrations forever ohyeah 🎉✨🌈☀️
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OMG this has been burried in my inbox for so long now but im glad i saw it again, this is fantastic!!! thank you so so much for sharing and i think it looks amazing :DD especially the white texture/fur detailing u added is a really nice touch. super cool!!!! thankyou so much for the kind words as well <3
Love your Proj.Moon art so god damn much. With that said. How much do you want to bet Oswald when he joined the group was like, "Mr.Conductor~ May I have a Calliope?" and Argalia just looked at him in disgust. LOL
Thank you so much .!!!! I miss doing projmoon fanart I had a lot of fun doing the animal designs for everyone.
Oh Oswald....... I genuinely love him so dearly and it makes me sad to think that argalia likely didn't see him as much else than a tool/cog in the ensemble machine 😭