Cabinet of Curiosities

Some of my favourite things, including a hell of a lot of fanfiction (mostly MCU and Teen Wolf). I'm seekeronthepath on Ao3

[3000s]

youre the stupidest guy i ever met and youre stupid

[nightquills]

the idea of them sitting down at a restaurant for lunch with shane's parents and shane was running late so ilya's already done the whole allergy check by the time he gets there, and the waitress is waiting to take his order and shane is a little ruffled because Late and Person Is Waiting On Me, so ilya ever so helpfully, "the chicken sandwich loves you" "ilya please" "the chicken *burger* hates you, though. she is slut for sesame seeds." "can you please just be normal about this ONE time." yuna from across the table: "the salmon salad loves you, too, if you get it without croutons." "i swear to GOD i will move to another table."

(referencing this post)

this is so cute and so funny and i am enjoying shane's embarrassment and despair at the hands of his concerned and loving family so much

david very helpfully volunteers that "the tilapia, uh.... cheated on you? since last time? they said they changed the recipe for the breading and now it has almonds."

shane puts his head in his hands like "maybe anaphylaxis would be better than this. i'm not even that hungry."

"shane! there's no need to be so dramatic," yuna says.

ilya, ever the helpful menace, has a suggestion. "lyubimyy, we ordered loving appetizers for the table to share. you and i could split a main dish as well? it will be like a threeso—"

shane stands up, tells the waitress "i am so sorry for the delay. i'll have the salmon salad without croutons," and goes to use the bathroom for A Moment Of Peace, Please God Above

the waitress has so many questions, and she is getting no answers. but she very carefully logs the order and notes that it's because of allergies, and she gets a very nice tip at the end of the hollander-rozanov family's lunch.

[penandinkprincess]

shane after being told so sincerely, "i already checked menu. there are many lovers for you." iN THIS PUBLIC SPACE. ILYA, OTHER PEOPLE CAN HEAR YOU.

(also david trying to adopt this metaphor is fucking KILLING ME) (shane just ready to sink into the pit of the earth as his parents are telling him that the bread at this restaurant got a mistress since last time) (it's sesame) (free him)

[penandinkprincess]

the margherita pizza now has a second family :(

[cute-catts]

[adinosaurnamedmittens]

[filthywine]

I don't care. I'm in the crevice

[sizzlingsandwichperfection-blog]

jeez. sorry you didn't like it.

[aromantic-goldfishdeactivated202]

genuinely I cannot fathom trying to use Tumblr like any other social media. I just thought to myself “why does Tumblr even have a ‘Best Posts First’ feature? why would I want to see good posts?” and then I had to stop and consider that for a second

[beardedmrbean]

this sounds like a party to me

[galwednesday]

From Azeem Banatwalla:

[fruityyamenrunner]

something charmingly twentieth century about this

[cryptotheism]

This counts as a spell

[demilypyro]

Placeable AOE effect

[lamignonette]

[themirokai]

Contemplating crimes….

[ilyarizzanov]

will I be burnt at the stake if I say that I don’t think Ilya’s fuckboy persona is entirely an act. will people draw and quarter me if I say that I think he is a different person with different people and none of them are entirely separate from who he is. will people stone me if I say that ilya loved being a fuckboy and loved sleeping around at the time and had a fucking blast doing what and who he wanted even if he wanted to be with shane for most of it.

Like I think people eschew that persona from him too aggressively in favor of making him a Soft Boi but there are multiple facets to ilya and I dont think any of them are necessarily fake. Just because he used promiscuity to cope doesn’t mean he didn’t have a marvelous time participating in it. That man loved pussy. He loved fucking pussy and eating pussy and making women come and whine his name. You cannot convince me otherwise. He was a very proud slut. Just because Shane made a housewife out of a hoe doesn’t make the Hoe Phase not genuine. U feel me?

[depsidase]

[kissmychainsaw]

[penandinkprincess]

y'all ever seen how they x-ray tree frogs

[penandinkprincess]

himb SQUOOSH

[homunculus-argument]

I think it would be funny to write a murder mystery where not only did every single character involved have an obvious motive to kill this mf, they were actually all attempting to murder him first, but the murder attempts all cancelled each other out all except for one. Two people tried to poison him but the poisons just happen to work as antidotes for each other, and instead of killing him only gave him the shits, and due to having the shits he couldn't go hunting that day like he had planned, foiling the plans of the one who had conditioned his favourite hunting horse to panic and bolt at the cue of a whistle, and the other murder attempt of tampering with his gun so that it would have exploded his whole face off.

The whole mystery isn't about who could have done it or how, but who was the one who got lucky and actually succeeded.

[terriwriting]

Sherlock Holmes and The Case of Perhaps We'd Best Leave This One Alone, Watson. There Appears To Be An Excess Of Armed Maniacs In The Vicinity.

[copperbadge]

When I was in high school a friend of mine would host murder mystery dinners once or twice a year. They were the kind you could buy as a kit -- I don't even know if they exist anymore -- and everyone was assigned (or chose) a character, then received a booklet of clues to share. The idea was to spend an evening in a one-shot LARP designed like an Agatha Christie novel.

I was a year above most of them at school so they threw a "goodbye" murder mystery for me just before graduation, and about 2/3 of the way through the game we all realized that everyone had at least attempted to kill the victim. The game then shifted from "whodunnit" to "who succeeded in dunninit" which we all felt was not only super fun but above the usual level of narrative complexity for those games.

After we solved it, we discovered that the game wasn't from a kit -- the host had written it herself and meticulously printed out the booklets in replica style of the kits. It was the best going-away party I think I could possibly have had.

[jayrockin]

thegladhatter reblogged your post and added:

What do you do with winged mounts? I don’t know if i’ve ever seen a depiction that doesn’t have someone sitting where they’d interfere with the wings.

You’re talking about the horse pose with the wings over the legs, right?

Personally I don’t think this would interfere with the motion of the wings too too much, birds rarely need to move their wings straight forwards. Instead the glaring problem is: this is the least aerodynamic thing I’ve ever seeeeen

Instead, consider this:

Lying belly-down is the most aerodynamic, causes the least interference with motion, and minimizes the length of the reins; which would otherwise be flapping around in the breeze. The only issue would be your neck getting tired, which could be helped with a saddle chin rest.

[roundedloaf]

one story I keep thinking about but will never write is a portal fantasy where the protagonist has to get back to earth before her prescription runs out

of course, needing to get back to earth for such a specific and adult reason isn't really a part of the genre identity and so it would go one of two ways

As a comedy: Protag is already aware that this happens sometimes. Magic leaking into our world is a well established problem on the scale of a sewage leak. The tiny talking fairy she meets when she falls into not-narnia tells her that she's the prophesized hero destined to defeat the dark lord and she's like lol no

More seriously: This version of the story would not be from our chronically ill protags perspective. Instead it would be from that of an honourable fantasy knight who has to choose between helping this odd woman get home within a month or completing their own important prophesied quest

[tanoraqui]

#importantly in neither version of this story does she get to access healing magic in fantasy land that fixes her #being chronically ill requires forward planning and I'd want to contrast between wanting a glorious life #and being scared that your health can't handle it #Or knowing that the admin side of things makes a quest impossible (@roundedloaf)

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

It constantly baffles me that Presumably you as a speculative fiction author attract a following that is interested in alternate world and strange new cultures- and yet you use a slightly unfamiliar but easily parsable word, or mention offhand a brand that doesnt exist in a Certain Country and people lose their minds. We can suspend disbelief for a space elevator, but not a different hardware store apparently.

Colonising the moon is fine but nobody can comprehend Australia

[captious-solarian]

Australians are very similar to humans, but with the psychic power of knowing, through supernatural telepathic means, the intended meaning of "chips".

[sexhaver]

it's extremely funny reading historical accounts of Spontaneous Human Combustion because it follows the normal historical trend of other 1800s paranormal phenomena where it stopped happening as much right around the time cameras were invented and stopped happening entirely when everyone started carrying mini cameras in their pockets, but unlike most others of its ilk, it was effectively replaced by this mysterious phenomena where alocoholics would spill liqour on themselves and then fall asleep smoking a cigarette and turn into a fireball. nobody knows if these two things are related