I Never Walk Alone

(Inactive) Anne. 26. Twitter: @Hopeful_Smiles. Writer, singer, musician. Doctor Who, Merlin, Sherlock, Steven Universe, Markiplier, CrankGameplays, Jacksepticeye, Smosh, K-Pop (BTS, Royal Pirates, GOT7, Day6, VIXX, B1A4)

[pazithi-gallifreya]

So, I have a proposition: 

We all want a way to celebrate the life of Unus Annus, to honor its memory, and to keep the spirit of the channel with us. What better way to commemmorate the channel by keeping its message and mentality going? I say every March, we participate in #MarchusAnnus (just as some do NaNoWriMo or Inktober). It can be learning something new or just trying to improve at something you already know. It could be a real coming together for the community and serve as a motivation to always keep improving ourselves and not take time for granted.

And even though the channel will be dead, I feel like it would be nice to still celebrate its birthday every November 14th with something like #BirthusAnnus or #HappyUnusAnnusDay.

[pazithi-gallifreya]

The Hourglass Garden (An Unus Annus-inspired short story)

*Author’s note: Firstly, this is NOT a fan-fiction, nor does it contain Mark or Ethan in any way, so apologies to anyone looking for that type of content. Rather, it’s a story centered around some of the motifs that crop up throughout the Unus Annus channel as a whole - an homage, if you will. These two guys got me to write again for the first time in years, especially when it comes to writing for myself. I’m just happy I was able to create something for the guys, and I’m so thankful to them for getting those wheels turning in my head again, even if they’re a bit slow. As much of a meme it may be on the channel at this point, I think the overall theme of running out of time is super important, and one I think too many of us dismiss a majority of the time, myself included.I even kept putting the writing of this story off, but I finally came up with enough of a concrete plot to put it together. Mark is always talking about how if you want to do something, you gotta grab the bull by the horns and just do it, so this is me doing that. We need to remember that we often don’t have as much time as we think we do, and the clock is constantly ticking. It only stops for us when we die, but us dying has no effect on time for everyone else. It moves forward without us. That’s not to say we have to rush to get everything done all the time. We still need to stop and appreciate the things and people around us. We just need to find a healthy balance, find what we enjoy, and also work hard, not only for others, but also ourselves. All of that is what this story is about.

———————–

          “Shit!” Aria gasped as the freezing wind nearly yanked the front door right out of her gloved hands. She reigned it back in, locked it, and pulled her beanie lower over her ears as she headed down the stairs towards her complex’s parking lot. She cranked the heat to max, sitting in her red 2007 Honda, cupping her still gloved hands and blowing into them before adjusting her rearview mirror. The crystals formed on the back windshield looked like little ice people. She smiled.

           It had been far too long since she had done something like this for herself. Her boss had recently quit at her editing company, making her schedule a living nightmare over the past month. The added pressure and stress hadn’t gone unnoticed by her best friend Beth, who, after much pushback on Aria’s part, finally convinced her to take a day off. “There’s this beautiful woodland garden about 40 miles out of town. There’s not as much to look at in the winter, so it’s not as pretty, but it’s still open. There’s also less people because of it, so if you’re looking for some solitude, as well as some fresh air, it’s the perfect place.”

          “In 30 miles, turn right on Hourglass Road,” chimed the robotic voice from her phone as she turned onto the highway. Any other day, she’d be blasting music and singing her lungs out, but not today. Today was a quiet day. She kept occasional watch over the crystal people slowly being sliced in half by the defroster, reminding her of her own temporary state as they dripped down the back window.

          Half an hour later, she turned onto Hourglass – a narrow gravel road that opened into a gravel parking lot surrounded by a short log fence, with an ornate sign that read Hourglass Gardens. She pulled in next to the only other car in the lot and pulled her coat tightly around her as she took in her surroundings. The fence opened onto a dirt path that forked in two directions. One led to the large old house that served as a local historical museum. The other traveled down to the woodland gardens. Aria turned off her phone so as to not be tempted, shoved her hands in her pockets, and sauntered down the longer path.

          A short way into the woods was a circular wooden bench surrounding a large, stone fountain  that was currently turned off, probably due to the season. The centerpiece was a huge hourglass surrounded by a stone circle with the phrase “Unus Annus” written repeatedly around the outside. The hourglass was filled with pure white sand, which had all sunk to the bottom. Tippy-toed, she reach up to turn it, but couldn’t get it to budge. She sighed as she took a seat and stared up into the bare branches that surrounded her overhead, silently thanking the powers that be for the seclusion. Beth was right, she thought. Not much to look at, but it’s pretty well-maintained… She stared into murky film at the bottom of the fountain. Mostly. At least it’s quiet.

          After several moments of taking in the stillness, she decided to move deeper into the barren woods. Every so often, she would run into little plastic markers with blurbs about the plants and wildlife people often encounter there. About 2 miles in, about every 20 steps or so, she began to notice little wooden markers close to the ground, almost hidden. They seemed to have arrows carved into them. They started along the path, then slowly got farther into the woods, away from the path. With time to kill, she figured she might as well go with it. There were no barriers, and having read many fantasy novels, she was always amused by the cheesiness of the “forbidden path” trope. Besides, she did come here to get away, after all, and what could be more detached from reality than following mysterious arrows in the woods into who knows where, even if the mystery was pretend. It was still the most excitement she had felt about anything in a while.

          She walked over another mile, and at one point resisted the brief temptation to turn back to the trail. She cleared through one final patch of dead shrubbery next to another arrow before stumbling into a clearing rivaling even the ones in her books – it’s like all the colorful butterflies and animals had congregated in this one spot, encompassed by rainbow assortments of flowers and dense foliage in full bloom, despite the fact it was January. In front of it all was a babbling brook, with an assortment of brightly-colored fish, complete with a little bridge nestled neatly over it. Funny, I didn’t even hear any running water before now. She knelt down to touch it, but something prevented her hand from penetrating the water; some invisible barrier.

          “I see you’ve made it.”

          Aria jumped at the sudden break in the silence. The voice was calm, yet loud somehow. A man in a white, hooded cloak stood on the opposite side of the brook, but still sounded as if he were standing right next to her. A strange mist spiraled around him.

          “What do you mean? Did you know I was coming? What is this place?” Aria asked, reaching her hand out in front of her, only to be forced back once again.

          The man pulled down his hood. “This is the end.”

          “The end of what? Who are you?”

          “I am the inevitable. This is where all of time resides. Everything begins here, and everything ends here.”

          “Are you saying you’re God, or something? Or Death? In the middle of a man-made sanctuary?”

          “I am neither. I am the in between. I am Time Itself. I do not reside on this plane, but I am wherever you need me at any given moment.”

          “So you’re saying you’re not really here?”

          “I am, and I am not.”

          “Am I the only one that can see or hear you?” Aria looked back to where she had entered. It was as brown and desolate as before.

          “Yes.”

          “Why? Why are you here? Why am I here?”

          “This is your turning point – the point where you decide whether to take back control of your own destiny or succumb to the darkness, the point where you decide to live a prosperous life or a waking death.”

          “How do I do that?”

          “Make the decision. Only you know which path you will walk down. When you truly have your answer and have confirmed it to yourself, return here before time runs out. You have one year. I will be waiting. Memento mori.” The man turned, slowly walking away as the mist swelled around him until in encompassed the entire meadow. A frog made a loud plop into the brook, and with that, it was gone.

          In front of Aria stood the looming hourglass fountain, now gushing with water. She pinched herself to make sure she hadn’t fallen asleep on the bench. What just happened, and why was she willing to believe and accept it so easily? She walked closer to examine the intricate stonework. The hourglass had been turned over. A few grains of sand had already trickled their way to the bottom. She read the phrase again. “Unus Annus.” She turned her phone back on and typed the words into the search bar. “One year,” she said softly to herself. “Okay,” she affirmed. “Looks like I’ve got a decision to make.”

          She walked determinedly back to her car, feeling refreshed and invigorated, despite the mind trip she had just been on. As she turned the key in the ignition, she remembered something. “What was the other thing that guy said?” she mumbled to herself. “Memento mori?” She pulled her phone back out and searched the phrase. The translation read, “Remember you must die.”

———————–

Thank you to anyone who read this. Thank you to Mark, Ethan, and Amy for being such a positive and encouraging force in my life for so many years and all the experiences I’ve had because of you. Thank you for giving me some inspiration to start creating again. There have been a lot of hard times going on with my family that I haven’t been able to properly focus on myself, and I’m still working on a lot of things, but this is another small step to help me towards my goals, and I’m glad to have you both be a part of it (even if it ended up sounding like a cheap YA novel). Being a perfectionist, I may not particularly like the final product myself, and think it’s weak in every aspect, but that wasn’t what this was about for me. I just wanted to show some appreciation for some amazing people. It’s been hard for me to keep up with you guys’ videos as of late, but this channel has been a way for me to stay up-to-date with both of you in a small way, and it’s such a cool concept. I can’t wait to see what’s in store for the channel.

(Unus Annus is right on the verge of 2 million right now! Let’s get them there! They deserve it so much!)

- Anne

[pazithi-gallifreya]

Sending this back into the ether for the end.

[pazithi-gallifreya]

Goodbye 💔

[pazithi-gallifreya]

The Hourglass Garden (An Unus Annus-inspired short story)

*Author’s note: Firstly, this is NOT a fan-fiction, nor does it contain Mark or Ethan in any way, so apologies to anyone looking for that type of content. Rather, it’s a story centered around some of the motifs that crop up throughout the Unus Annus channel as a whole - an homage, if you will. These two guys got me to write again for the first time in years, especially when it comes to writing for myself. I’m just happy I was able to create something for the guys, and I’m so thankful to them for getting those wheels turning in my head again, even if they’re a bit slow. As much of a meme it may be on the channel at this point, I think the overall theme of running out of time is super important, and one I think too many of us dismiss a majority of the time, myself included.I even kept putting the writing of this story off, but I finally came up with enough of a concrete plot to put it together. Mark is always talking about how if you want to do something, you gotta grab the bull by the horns and just do it, so this is me doing that. We need to remember that we often don’t have as much time as we think we do, and the clock is constantly ticking. It only stops for us when we die, but us dying has no effect on time for everyone else. It moves forward without us. That’s not to say we have to rush to get everything done all the time. We still need to stop and appreciate the things and people around us. We just need to find a healthy balance, find what we enjoy, and also work hard, not only for others, but also ourselves. All of that is what this story is about.

-----------------------

          “Shit!” Aria gasped as the freezing wind nearly yanked the front door right out of her gloved hands. She reigned it back in, locked it, and pulled her beanie lower over her ears as she headed down the stairs towards her complex’s parking lot. She cranked the heat to max, sitting in her red 2007 Honda, cupping her still gloved hands and blowing into them before adjusting her rearview mirror. The crystals formed on the back windshield looked like little ice people. She smiled.

           It had been far too long since she had done something like this for herself. Her boss had recently quit at her editing company, making her schedule a living nightmare over the past month. The added pressure and stress hadn’t gone unnoticed by her best friend Beth, who, after much pushback on Aria’s part, finally convinced her to take a day off. “There’s this beautiful woodland garden about 40 miles out of town. There’s not as much to look at in the winter, so it’s not as pretty, but it’s still open. There’s also less people because of it, so if you’re looking for some solitude, as well as some fresh air, it’s the perfect place.”

          “In 30 miles, turn right on Hourglass Road,” chimed the robotic voice from her phone as she turned onto the highway. Any other day, she’d be blasting music and singing her lungs out, but not today. Today was a quiet day. She kept occasional watch over the crystal people slowly being sliced in half by the defroster, reminding her of her own temporary state as they dripped down the back window.

          Half an hour later, she turned onto Hourglass – a narrow gravel road that opened into a gravel parking lot surrounded by a short log fence, with an ornate sign that read Hourglass Gardens. She pulled in next to the only other car in the lot and pulled her coat tightly around her as she took in her surroundings. The fence opened onto a dirt path that forked in two directions. One led to the large old house that served as a local historical museum. The other traveled down to the woodland gardens. Aria turned off her phone so as to not be tempted, shoved her hands in her pockets, and sauntered down the longer path.

          A short way into the woods was a circular wooden bench surrounding a large, stone fountain  that was currently turned off, probably due to the season. The centerpiece was a huge hourglass surrounded by a stone circle with the phrase “Unus Annus” written repeatedly around the outside. The hourglass was filled with pure white sand, which had all sunk to the bottom. Tippy-toed, she reach up to turn it, but couldn’t get it to budge. She sighed as she took a seat and stared up into the bare branches that surrounded her overhead, silently thanking the powers that be for the seclusion. Beth was right, she thought. Not much to look at, but it’s pretty well-maintained... She stared into murky film at the bottom of the fountain. Mostly. At least it’s quiet.

          After several moments of taking in the stillness, she decided to move deeper into the barren woods. Every so often, she would run into little plastic markers with blurbs about the plants and wildlife people often encounter there. About 2 miles in, about every 20 steps or so, she began to notice little wooden markers close to the ground, almost hidden. They seemed to have arrows carved into them. They started along the path, then slowly got farther into the woods, away from the path. With time to kill, she figured she might as well go with it. There were no barriers, and having read many fantasy novels, she was always amused by the cheesiness of the “forbidden path” trope. Besides, she did come here to get away, after all, and what could be more detached from reality than following mysterious arrows in the woods into who knows where, even if the mystery was pretend. It was still the most excitement she had felt about anything in a while.

          She walked over another mile, and at one point resisted the brief temptation to turn back to the trail. She cleared through one final patch of dead shrubbery next to another arrow before stumbling into a clearing rivaling even the ones in her books – it’s like all the colorful butterflies and animals had congregated in this one spot, encompassed by rainbow assortments of flowers and dense foliage in full bloom, despite the fact it was January. In front of it all was a babbling brook, with an assortment of brightly-colored fish, complete with a little bridge nestled neatly over it. Funny, I didn’t even hear any running water before now. She knelt down to touch it, but something prevented her hand from penetrating the water; some invisible barrier.

          “I see you’ve made it.”

          Aria jumped at the sudden break in the silence. The voice was calm, yet loud somehow. A man in a white, hooded cloak stood on the opposite side of the brook, but still sounded as if he were standing right next to her. A strange mist spiraled around him.

          “What do you mean? Did you know I was coming? What is this place?” Aria asked, reaching her hand out in front of her, only to be forced back once again.

          The man pulled down his hood. “This is the end.”

          “The end of what? Who are you?”

          “I am the inevitable. This is where all of time resides. Everything begins here, and everything ends here.”

          “Are you saying you’re God, or something? Or Death? In the middle of a man-made sanctuary?”

          “I am neither. I am the in between. I am Time Itself. I do not reside on this plane, but I am wherever you need me at any given moment.”

          “So you’re saying you’re not really here?”

          “I am, and I am not.”

          “Am I the only one that can see or hear you?” Aria looked back to where she had entered. It was as brown and desolate as before.

          “Yes.”

          “Why? Why are you here? Why am I here?”

          “This is your turning point – the point where you decide whether to take back control of your own destiny or succumb to the darkness, the point where you decide to live a prosperous life or a waking death.”

          “How do I do that?”

          “Make the decision. Only you know which path you will walk down. When you truly have your answer and have confirmed it to yourself, return here before time runs out. You have one year. I will be waiting. Memento mori.” The man turned, slowly walking away as the mist swelled around him until in encompassed the entire meadow. A frog made a loud plop into the brook, and with that, it was gone.

          In front of Aria stood the looming hourglass fountain, now gushing with water. She pinched herself to make sure she hadn’t fallen asleep on the bench. What just happened, and why was she willing to believe and accept it so easily? She walked closer to examine the intricate stonework. The hourglass had been turned over. A few grains of sand had already trickled their way to the bottom. She read the phrase again. “Unus Annus.” She turned her phone back on and typed the words into the search bar. “One year,” she said softly to herself. “Okay,” she affirmed. “Looks like I’ve got a decision to make.”

          She walked determinedly back to her car, feeling refreshed and invigorated, despite the mind trip she had just been on. As she turned the key in the ignition, she remembered something. “What was the other thing that guy said?” she mumbled to herself. “Memento mori?” She pulled her phone back out and searched the phrase. The translation read, “Remember you must die.”

-----------------------

Thank you to anyone who read this. Thank you to Mark, Ethan, and Amy for being such a positive and encouraging force in my life for so many years and all the experiences I’ve had because of you. Thank you for giving me some inspiration to start creating again. There have been a lot of hard times going on with my family that I haven’t been able to properly focus on myself, and I’m still working on a lot of things, but this is another small step to help me towards my goals, and I’m glad to have you both be a part of it (even if it ended up sounding like a cheap YA novel). Being a perfectionist, I may not particularly like the final product myself, and think it's weak in every aspect, but that wasn't what this was about for me. I just wanted to show some appreciation for some amazing people. It’s been hard for me to keep up with you guys’ videos as of late, but this channel has been a way for me to stay up-to-date with both of you in a small way, and it’s such a cool concept. I can’t wait to see what’s in store for the channel.

(Unus Annus is right on the verge of 2 million right now! Let’s get them there! They deserve it so much!)

- Anne

[somniae-deactivated20210626]

If you don’t have means to a therapist or mental health professional

Check out therapistaid.com. There’s worksheets there that you can download for free.

Of course it would be a lot more beneficial if you have a therapist to help you through it but not everyone has access to one.

It’s a free site where you can have free downloads of worksheets on many things.

If there’s something there that you think would be helpful, print it out and complete the worksheet on your own.

It’s hard to be accountable for yourself but at least there’s a way for you to have some insight and work on yourself.

[pwhlphilly]

Also if you use these in conjunction with the app Wysa

[gunpowder-tea]

therapistaid is great, i get resources from there to use with my clients. here are some others

https://psychologytools.com/

https://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/

https://www.actmindfully.com.au/free_resources_worksheets,_handouts_and_book_chapters

https://www.anxietybc.com/

http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/consumers.cfm

http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/

[thegreyacefromspace]

Thank you.

[kipplekipple]

“I don’t want to die, I just don’t want to exist any more” sounds mild if you’ve never experienced it, but it is in fact a horrible, violent way to feel.

[hobies]

legs for days

[crankgameplays]

Hey Ethan! Probably won't see this, lol. I have a rare syndrome called Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, and not a lot of research is going into it, which sucks! It's kinda taken my life away, and at the moment I can't really move, because it hurts really bad. I'll start physically therapy soon if my insurance covers it. But one of the things that keeps me going, is your videos! So thanks for putting a smile on my face, and I hope you had a good day

I’m so sorry that it has impacted your life so much. I’m glad I can help with my videos at all! I’d love to look into it more and maybe do a stream to try and help raise money for research!

I hope everything goes okay and the pain starts to cease. I’m giving you a big virtual hug <3

[pazithi-gallifreya]

Hey, I don't know if this will help, but if you check out Simon and Martina on Youtube, Martina Stawski has EDS, and they mention it quite often in their videos, as well as on their podcast on their second channel. She's even talked about different ways she copes with it and works through it, and you also get to hear Simon's side of it in finding ways to help take care of her, so their videos might be of some help to you in those regards and hopefully at least make you feel less alone, since I know this is something that's not really talked about much because of its rarity. Anyway, sorry for butting in, but if you do check them out, I hope it helps you or offers some comfort, or in the very least a good distraction from your pain with some fun videos.

[pazithi-gallifreya]

Looking back at my rambly post from about a year ago and seeing how fucking stupid, naive, and delusional I was to think everything was going to be okay. 🙃

[pazithi-gallifreya]

Every once in a great while, I randomly accidentally get tagged on here in something when people mean to tag someone else, and I feel really awkward cause I don't know if I should say anything, like no, that's not me, I don't know who you're trying to mention, I'm sorry 😓

[pazithi-gallifreya]

If I hadn’t procrastinated on coloring last night, I would’ve finished it then, but oh well, that’s me haha. Anyway, even though it’s late, here’s this piece of shit. @therealjacksepticeye I hope you had a super wonderful birthday filled with love and fun and happiness! I can’t wait to see all the amazing things you’re going to do this year! ♡

[lzzyhaleofficial]

#AllHaleTheFemale

Ha! See what I did there?

So nearly everyday, in nearly every interview, I get asked, “What’s it like, to be a girl in Hard Rock and Heavy Metal…so I’m gonna tell ya. It’s Fucking Fantastic!

But to be honest, I never really gave much thought when I was 13 to the fact that I was a girl cutting her teeth in a male dominated industry. Because I had parents who raised me with the idea that are no boundaries to my dreams and aspirations, there is no ceiling, regardless of whether I’m a boy or a girl.

I remember them telling me at the start of Halestorm..that that 9-5, soul sucking job, or that white picket fence fantasy that everyone thinks you’re “supposed” to have, will always be there….But your dream, this crazy rockstar idea that you’re so obsessed with, the hard road?… You have to go for that now and with your whole heart.

I still think this way.

I also have amazing bandmates, my best friends who know me better than anyone, and who have supported and shared my obsession for over 15 years…they’ve never viewed me like a good marketing gimmick, or something that “pretty’s up” a band of dudes.

Because Talent has nothing to do with being male or female. There is no “superior gender.” It’s about what you bring to that stage, holding your standards high, and be Great, not just “for a girl”.

My bandmates have endured my struggles by my side and have celebrated my triumphs by my side. I’m truly lucky to have such strong, real men around me.

So I dive into the unknown, combating the negative, condescending and ignorant things people spew, with positivity and by Continuing to do Me. I am also so grateful for our community and fan base that support all the things I stand for; empowerment, individuality, equality, positivity and Rock.

I’m carving my own path, following the only thing that I have no doubt of in this world…music.

Something I’ve learned as well, is that when people feel so compelled to get off their asses to Hate on you, it’s because you’ve made a noise that they can no longer ignore. And That is a great thing my dears. We need to make more noise!

And I’m not the only woman In rock, I am peers with some of the most talented, ferocious and ballsy women of our time. And we as women, have to deal daily with sexism, harassment and making hard decisions that often are an unfair, choosing the lesser of two evils. Lose your soul, keep a career path, keep a career path, lose your soul. And don’t get me wrong, I like dressing up in tight leather, and I like the sex that goes hand in hand with Rock n Roll…but Are we being judged or accepted on talent or by how we look? Are we being denied at the gate for not being sexy enough to turn on the gatekeeper? Are our passions being suppressed because they threaten the egos of a dinosaur mentality?There’s a big difference.

Walk a mile in our high heels? It has always been a long road for us, but we keep moving and we keep fighting, we take our pain and turn it into power.

I am so proud to be a WOMAN and I am proud of all of my female peers for having the courage to bring all of our experiences into the light. And Now that we have turned on this light, we cannot go back to darkness

We have a responsibility to our future ladies to stand up for what we believe in.

We look to our future. I’m so honored to get to meet and receive so many letters from teenagers and little women who draw pictures of me holding my gibson and tell me all about how they are starting a band because their parents took them to a Halestorm show! Remember my Dear Daughters…your life of yours, your story is yours…never change who you are for Anyone! You have all of our support through it all, stand or fall, I will be right here for you!

Love and Loudness,

Lzzy Hale

[pazithi-gallifreya]

Jodie Whittaker's costume for the Doctor gives off serious Wesley Crusher vibes and I love it.

[crankgameplays]

Yo

You’re cool and you’re loved and you are appreciated. No matter what you’re going through you can and you will get through it. You are not alone. You have friends here that have your back no matter what.

You’ve got this.

OKAY DAS IT, HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY :D

[characteroulette]

hey so

  I really can’t help myself when I’m curious, so I went through the trouble of digging around in the Doki Doki Literature Club files and code, and, well

  Here’s something interesting I found:

Keep reading

[pazithi-gallifreya]

If you and to choose between eating 400 waffles and 500 waffles, how many waffles would you consume?

At least 3,000

[doctorwho]

Looking to the future.