PBaintthetb @pbaintthetb - Tumblr Blog

#daily to do list #actually a wip document

(nods sagely) (nods basily) (nods rosemarily) (nods saltly) (nods star anisely)

current life is "I'm gonna make my swim target" "I'm never gonna make it " "Maybe i'll make it if i try" "Oh I'm gonna make this"

anyway moved from step 1 to 2 again because it took me over 3 hours to do my normal commute tonight and i could not go and that's 1.7 miles I've lost alas

#random

quietwingsinthesky

like the betrayal’s always going to be worse if they cared about you and it didn’t matter. someone discards you because they didn’t give a shit, then you can be angry about that, you can feel vindicated in that, you can get over it. but if they can look you in the eyes and say “I love you. I would make the same choice again.” You will never sleep peacefully again, is all.

quietwingsinthesky

“I thought they cared about me, but they were lying this whole time.” <- tired. boring. removes all the nuance of this relationship to make it easier to move on from.

“I thought they cared about me, and I was right, and every minute they were there for me, every time they said they were proud, every laugh we shared leaning against each other bruised and breathless, all of it was real. and they still left me behind. They could put their love aside. I couldn’t.” <- insane. will never leave you alone. reminds you that even the worst people are still people and can still care about even the ones they hurt the most and that undoes neither the harm nor the love.

quietwingsinthesky

okay. something about the way i worded this is making people think this is a vent thing about real relationships. and it’s fine if that’s where it took you. but i feel like i need to be transparent here: this be blorboposting. karlach cliffgate and her terrible awful no good very bad betrayal.

quietwingsinthesky

they are seasoning my fucking post with unknown herbs. beefleaf. the fuck’s a beefleaf. why are you putting that in the stew.

#Tgcf #Beefleaf fr #But dare I say sangyao

anyataylorjoys

The Watermelon Woman (1996) dir. Cheryl Dunye

seeveekat

Hey this movie is really important in queer history! It was the first feature length film directed by a black lesbian! You can watch it here for free!

I really recommend you do because while it is a rom-com (and a drama), it also looks at how the stories of black queers are over looked in history.

#Genuinely so fucking sad I missed when they were rescreening this in cinema even though I had the day off #It was for a noble cause though

Slow horses be like Johnny English if it were taken seriously, but they're not quite that bad

#Slow horses #Not quite but close enough #And im saying it because it links to my core beliefs on tragedy/drama and comedy

I do think its interesting that the park had 2 for 2 on the slow horses they were able to get a hold of and them basically turning on Lamb straight away. Luck of the draw or did something about that night teach the rest of the horses a lesson: Jackson Lamb is a prick but he does look out for his Joes.

(It's the latter)

#Slow horses #I might elaborate on this more later when I have access to a keyboard #Cos I deffo think the whole shenanigans changes the dynamic #And it's not just how they view lamb it's other stuff #But this also continues into dander and Longridge so there's something about how it kinda shifts #Or maybe the park just went for who they thought would be the easy marks first but like #Louise and Min hated lamb and were fantasising about his death minutes begore killing moody so #If they hadn't been at the pub I could see them havibg turned on him too

koobiie

i feel strongly about this

ailurinae

While overall it does feel like a dystopia horror, when im at work or commuting i truly do wish there was a brain to text function and then my fanfic would just write itself. Alss non.

#Random #I'll be like damn that's a good paragraph #But then icba to write it on my phone cos vlagh and doubly so because ive just thought it and who can be bothered to think it twice

boycritter

if we ignore all the stuff that's gone wrong ive kind of had nothing but wins

#Snort #Huge mood

lorquiana

i know that a lot of this is for thriller and suspense reasons but i loveeeee in the first book when river starts strategically omitting information and when he says things like Yes my grandfather's whole image is a carefully constructed act . that did work on me and probably was part of the reason i went into the service

#One of the internal dialogue things I really liked in book 1 was when River is sort of realising that (as of yet unnamed) Hassan is actually #A Muslim kid kidnapped by the far right rather than the other way aroubd #Until Lamb starts on this point and river refuses to agree with him out loud and instantly attempts to change track to a point he doesn't #Agree with #Iconic what a hater #I g3t why they didn't do it in the show but it was a nice sign that OK river has *some* competency #They did give us my favourite scene ever of him tailing hobden though so all OK there #slow horses

ohgodthebrainworms

Thinking about the parallels between Frank Harkness and David Cartwright. David didn't groom River for his chosen career to the extent that Harkness would have, but the end result isn't all that different.

River's miserable at Slough House and would be even unhappier at the Park, but he refuses to quit, or acknowledge that he's not suited to the work. He can't imagine any kind of future where he's not in MI5, even though he knows exactly what MI5 is like and it's actively tried to kill him more than once.

I wonder how much David consciously molded River to follow in his footsteps, and - given that David knows exactly what MI5 is like - how much he thought or cared about what that would do to him.

ohgodthebrainworms

Just rewatched the River and David scene at the end of s3 and it is so much more fucked up than I remembered.

River has just come very very close to being murdered on the direct orders of First Desk, basically for being in the wrong place (that she sent him to!). Before that he was beaten up by the head of MI5 security and he still has the marks of that on his face.

He goes to his grandfather for support and guidance about that and the fact that MI5 accidentally put someone in a coma and then covered it up by murdering someone, and David's response is 1) if people knew about that it would be bad for the Service (not the national interest or the greater good, specifically MI5), and 2) you nearly being killed is irrelevant, if anything it means your judgement is bad and you shouldn't have an opinion on this. Then he burns the literally and figuratively blood-soaked file and tells River it's for his own good.

#The tags #Also this from s2 river where after he chokes out the cah driver is 'dont' worry we're the goodies '#And yes the tone is sarcastic and River is being a bitch #But like yeah he's so #This is all in favour of good #And then #I actually love the whole thing with the taxi driver how they both know they both know what the gig is #River is so lucky he's rich considering his main bargaining tactic appears to be financial bribery #Slow horses

lorquiana

40 days. One email. Your name on the right side of history.

the new ehrc guidance re: the supreme court ruling on the equality act was released on may 21st after consultation. it is not good. you can read transactual's statement on it here. parliament has until june 30th to block this. for those of you in the uk, the link above is a tool you can use to email your mp quickly and ask them to do so. the website will talk you through the process but all you need to do is find your mp's address and personalise the sections in brackets, and this will do the rest.

if you are able, please email. it will take a couple minutes maximum.

lorquiana

Launch a review into strengthening legal protections and clearer enforcement against discrimination, harassment and exclusion of trans women

there is a petition that uk folks can sign also - currently at 2,000 signatures out of 10,000 needed for a government response

alianoralacanta

For anyone wondering: the Code of Practice is sufficiently ignorant of what "biological sex" is, that the majority of people (regardless of gender) run the risk of being blocked from using any gendered facility whatsoever. This will particularly hit trans people, non-white people, anyone with a disability, children, teenagers and anyone else people like bullying (because it is likely that most challenges will be from bullies rather than good-faith complainants of any description). The Code of Practice does not allow any consequences for vexatious complainants or bullies, only for the people they bully. It also bans unisex accommodations, which means that places like the NHS face potentially needing to double their accommodation to serve the same number of patients (because the NHS cannot in most cases guarantee anything about the sex or gender balance of visitors). Even British transphobes should sign this petition. (That any British person who respects trans people and can access the petition should also sign it, would have been obvious to them before reading my addition. Trans people should be respected).

sapphictechgoddess

the petition is currently at 12,723 out of the 100,000 it needs to be considered for debate in parliament!

#For later

so I saw some aro(ace) River propaganda on tumblr and was like, hmm, but fun, why not, let's have fun.

But then, then I saw the hugest piece of propaganda for aroace river (the show) and that's it, im sold, my third eye has been opened, sorry mick herron. It's true. It's real. Turning it over like im an anxious chef with a pikelet.

#Slow horses #River Cartwright #Aroace river Cartwright #Literally would write a fic the juices are flowing but id need an actual plot #It can't just be 2k of vibes and abandonment issues

artbyblastweave

The early bird gets the worm. But the second guy into the minefield gets the gold fillings

#lol #or as they say: the second rat gets the cheese

many thoughts about how it seems maybe River is coming around to Sid before the reveal that she's been surveilling him and was probably tasked with getting him to open up to her. LIke, she is specifically trying to be likeable to him. hmm. she quite possibly does also kind of like him considering she tells him all of this. But also.

#slow horses #i mean river makes friends later so maybe he just needed longer to accept it #but also their nighttime run around helps that so #also i can't remmeber if it is this in the book but in the show where it's mentioned that sid has asked him for drinks #and i was like #ah yeah #it's easier to watch him if he can stand to be in the same room as her

pbaintthetb

you know it's bad at slough house when they can't even afford proper archival boxes for their record transfers and archives🙏

pbaintthetb

In this new scene they do look better. But the one that broke looked crap

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