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@pcterpan
ββ§ π©ππππ«π©ππ§. headcanon & novel - based peter pan from j.m. barrie's peter pan. with heavy inspiration from lost boy by christina henry & peter darling by austin chant. this blog is 21+ and focuses heavily on the darker topics within the original novel such as child death and murder.
heavily affiliated & exclusive with @tinkerbcll
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I told the stars about you.
They rolled their eyes, already knowing
her eyes rolled at his response. even after so much time spent on the mainland and growing up, peter was still a dumb boy. tink was certain it was something no boy ever grew out of and peter seemed to be no exception. she supposed she was a stupid fairy to think he had meant something else entirely, to even have a shred of hope that he returned her feelings. the stoic expression that she tried to maintain around him crumbled along with her hope. if he truly only had platonic feelings for her she could live with that so long as she is the most important thing in his life. so long as she is his fairy who he will always call upon and want around. the thing with tink though is that she never gives up and she certainly wonβt on peter, even if his words do end up being true. she gives him a knowing grin, βsure, peter, if thatβs what you really meant. just as a wife and her husband are considered family.β
despite the wave of satisfaction she feels when he declares sheβs the only one he has left, an ache pierces his heart for him. his family had let him down again. tinkerbell had a home she could go to when peter wasnβt around. she could go to the fairy kingdom and the fairies, her friends, would welcome her warmly. her room would always be in the home tree, awaiting her again, as well as her workshop if she ever decides to tinker once more. and although tink feels so much at home with peter than she ever felt there, she still had a place she could go to when things went awry with peter. peter really had no one but her now, she didnβt know whether to hate his family for that or be grateful to them.
βwell, if iβm all you have left, does that mean youβll never go back to live with those clumsies ( humans ).β maybe tink felt like being a little cruel to him after what he did to her. βdo they mean nothing to you? after all, if weβre family then you have no need for them anymore. a real family would love you no matter what. i need to know if i stay here with you, you wonβt leave again.β again she avoids looking at him, her voice goes soft. βi canβt do that again, peter.β he doesnβt even know what sheβs been through with him gone. how her tiny heart had been shattered, how she cried to mother dove, how she avoided her friends and tinkered like mad because it was the only thing keeping her from thinking about him. she put on a stern face and looked up at him. βi will kill you if you do that to me again.β tinkerbell would also be killing herself in the process, but that didnβt matter to her if peter was gone too.
for a moment, peter said nothing. not because he didn't have an answer, but because tinkβs words hit him harder than heβd ever care to admit. wife . . . husband . . . she said it so casually. like it didnβt send something sharp and warm tearing right through her chest the same way it did for him. he tried to scoff, tried to give that careless grin that used to get them through every argument, but it faltered. it always faltered around her lately and he couldn't even begin to understand why that is. ever since returning, there was something odd about the way every word, every look from her made something twist deep beneath his ribcage. he never had this same feeling before leaving neverland. back then, he had only been a child playing with fairies. now, it was as if he could really feel her pixie dust flowing through his veins and pumping through the chambers of his heart.
he watched her β really watched her β as she turned her face away and spoke with that softness she rarely allowed anyone, including him, to hear. she was angry and hurting, and peter . . . peter felt something unfamiliar and unmanageable sink down to the pit of his stomach. guilt, maybe. fear. longing. all tangled together in a way that made him want to run. the thought of feeling any sort of vulnerability around anyone terrified him. even more so when it came to tink. now more than ever, he felt it necessary to impress her in any way he could. since his return, he did anything that would keep her attention on him always and refused to show any signs of weakness. when she finally looked up at him with that threat, peter stepped forward. carefully, almost cautiously. like she was something precious he could break with the wrong move.
β tink . . . β his voice dropped, softer than sheβd heard from him in a long time. β you think iβd go back there? after everything they put me through? β he huffed out a breath, running a hand through his hair in clear frustration. not with her, but with himself. with the mess he made. with how painfully human he felt whenever she looked at him like this. β i only ever left because i was worried about my brothers. i thought returning home was the right thing to do. β he shook his head, an airy, humorless laugh escaping. β but it wasnβt my home. not like here. not likeβ β
peterβs gaze drifted over her face, lingering just a little too long. enough for the air between them to thicken, for the truth heβd been dodging to slip dangerously close to the surface. β iβm not going back to them. β he said it plain & firm. β they donβt get to have me. they never really wanted me, anyway. β another step closer. he was near enough now that she wouldnβt have to tilt her head if he bent just a little. β but you . . . β his voice softened again. β youβve always wanted me around. even when i didnβt deserve it. even when i was stupid enough to leave. β
his hand lifted as if he meant to touch her cheek, then hesitated, fingers curling in on themselves before he slowly drew them back. he didnβt trust himself to cross that line. not yet. not until she let him. β iβm not leaving neverland again, tink. not unless youβre with me. β a smirk tugged at one corner of his mouth, trying to lighten the weight of everything he just admitted. β and iβd rather you didnβt kill me, yeah? i kind of like breathing. especially if youβre sticking around to make sure of it. β but then, quieter. honest in a way peter pan almost never was: β i canβt do that again either. being away from you. β
the other fairies had been captivated by peter since tinkerbell initially brought him to neverland. perhaps their pull toward him is because of her pixie dust running through his veins or peterβs annoyingly charming personality. maybe it was because the fairies looked to him as a protector of sorts. that thought peeved tinkerbell considering she was the one looking after the island long before peter even existed. even more so when he decided to leave neverland and return to the mainland for years. apparently the others didnβt have the same sentiment as her; that he had abandoned all of them, but especially her.
his return had been no secret considering the fairies were tied to neverland and neverland was tied to peter. the second he was in neverland they all knew, every single inhabitant knew. the fairies had been impatient on seeing him again. of course tink had been smug on seeing him first and watching over him alone for a few days knowing that everyone else was dying to see him again. in those few days the fairies were planning a celebration for him, although tink loved parties she had wanted peter for herself longer.
it didnβt surprise her one bit that they practically swarmed him when they made it to the heart of fairy haven. they all loved hearing about tinkβs adventures with peter and she loved sharing them solely to show off that she was peterβs favorite fairy of all. however, after he left they were smart enough to not bring him up again after seeing what his departure had done to her. the only ones who dared to were her close friends, queen clarion, mother dove, and her sister. of course they were dying to talk to him and ask him all the questions they didnβt want to chance asking her.
nonetheless, it still bothered her for peter to give them his attention when she was the one he should be giving all his attention to after all heβs put her through. she tugged on her bangs roughly. when she looked away from the frenzy around her and peter she noticed terence and queen ree seemed to be the only ones not surrounding him, they hovered off to the side. the former looked somewhat annoyed while the latter had a look on her face tinkerbell couldnβt read. tink looked away before she could catch the concerned look clarion shot in her direction.
it didnβt take her long to realize she didnβt have to endure this so she flew off to her house, locking herself inside. itβs not as if peter would notice she was gone anyway or even care. she sat at her workbench, eyeing the leftover materials from a gift she had made for peter she had yet to give him. anger and sadness both threatened to crush her. ultimately it was sadness that won out, leaving her returning to that feeling that consumed her when peter initially left. as if the weight of it crushed her she slumped over her workbench, her wings wilted to the floor. how silly she was to think he still cared for her. maybe he would pick a new fairy to be his favorite, apparently he has plenty to choose from.
tink didnβt know how long she stayed like that, but it started getting late enough that she supposed she would go to bed here tonight. right after she had let her hair down there was a knock on her door and the giant shadow that cascaded on her house told her it was peter. part of her wanted to ignore him and just go to bed, but she found herself speaking to him instead. it was almost concerning how weak she was when it came to him. she wiped at her eyes to assure there was no proof of her crying before opening her door. with her hands on her hips, she remained in the doorway rather than fly to him.
she rolled her eyes, oh she knew very well how excited the other fairies were. the sadness that made her feel like she was drowning turned to anger. he seemed so nonchalant about this. βhow would they know that when i donβt even know if iβm your favorite fairy anymore!? it was still light outside when i came here and now itβs late into the night. you were so busy with the others that you didnβt even notice youβre so called βfavorite fairyβ was gone for hours. you have a shitty way of treating me if iβm your favorite.β
peter watched her for a long moment β really watched her. not the way he usually did, half-distracted and half-trying to charm his way out of whatever trouble heβd stepped in. this time she has his full attention. the doorway light framed her like a lantern glow, catching on loose strands of her hair, the slight puffiness around her eyes, the way her wings hung low and tired. she looked small. not in the way fairies are always small, but in the way she only ever looked when sheβd been hurting for far too long without anyone noticing. that, more than the harsh tone to her words, made something twist in his chest.
β tinkβ¦ β he breathed. it came out like a sigh, like her name alone carried the whole weight of what he shouldβve said earlier but didnβt. he shifted forward until he was sitting almost directly in front of her door, close enough that he had to tilt his head slightly just to keep her in view. his movements were slow this time, as if he was afraid that too much sudden motion might chase her back into the safety of her tiny home.
β i didnβt notice you were gone because they pulled me right into the middle of them, β he said, voice low but steady. β there was too much going on. everyone was asking questions and touching my sleeves or tugging at my hair. you know how they get. i could barely hear myself think. β he rubbed the back of his neck, a faint, embarrassed flush rising to his cheeks. β but i still knew something felt wrong. i didnβt realize it was you missing until i turned and didnβt see you next to me. β his gaze flicked to her face, searching for even the smallest shift. when it finally clicked that tink wasn't by his side, he left without warning, immediately flying off in search of her home. he barely remembers who he was even talking to. he thinks it was rosetta who was mid-sentence when he left, but he can't bring himself to even care about that. surely it's something she'll bring up to tink later.
he huffed out a small laugh at the memory, though it faded almost instantly. β they didnβt like it, you know. queen ree gave me this look like iβd just broken a rule. β he doesn't mention terence almost dropped his acorn lantern on his foot. tink probably wouldn't find it as hilarious as he did. there was something about that dust-keeper that peter didn't like and he couldn't quite put his finger on it. so it was an amusing sight to see and something he'll keep in his memory for amusement. his smile softened. warm, lopsided, and undeniably peter. β but i didnβt care. i just wanted to find you. β
he glanced behind her, into the dim interior of the teapot home. he could faintly see the shapes of her small tools, her workbench, and the tiny lantern she kept lit even when she was sad because she couldnβt stand the dark. then he looked back at her and this time when he spoke, there was no teasing. no airy flippancy, just sincerity he rarely let anyone hear. β tink . . . youβre the one who taught me how to fly without falling into every tree between here and mermaid lagoon. youβre the one who stayed beside me and made neverland feel like home in the first place. β
he let the honesty hang there for a second, keeping a careful gaze on the small features of her face. as if searching for any sign that he said something wrong. β i never stopped caring. not when i left, not while i was gone, and not now. β he drew a breath, nervous in a way that peter almost never was. β youβre still my favorite fairy, tink. i donβt want another β i donβt even want the idea of another. the only one whose opinion makes my stomach twist into knots is you. β peter still doesn't quite understand what that feeling meant. he can't put into words why he feels so strongly about her thoughts and opinions, why he feels the need to constantly please her and search for every possible way to keep her by his side. all he knew is that the thought of tink being upset enough with him to completely shut him out is something he always dreads.
250920 @ the fact music awards
your first kill together as a couple is an important relationship milestone
@tinkerbcll ββ§
π π
@tinkerbcll ; "i just didnβt like the way they were looking at you. like you werenβt mine."
it seemed the mermaids and their devoted attention towards peter no longer got under tinkerbell's skin quite as bad as it used to, or she had just gotten better at hiding her disdain for the lagoon creatures. her fellow fairies, however, were a different story. maybe it was the time he spent away from neverland or the fact that he rarely visited the haven even before he had left, but the pixies swarmed him the second he set foot in the haven. wings fluttered around him, the jingling of their tiny voices as fairies of every talent vied for his attention. in his peripheral, he could see tink tugging at her bangs β a telltale sign that she was beginning to get frustrated by their current situation.
in the midst of the chaos, tink had left to fend for himself and with attention focused on the other fairies, there was no telling just how long ago she left him. it was only when he noticed her absence that he managed to make excuses for needing to leave. the chiming bells of protest from the fairies may have worked on others, but it was a tough task for anyone to make peter feel any sort of guilt.
after separating from the never fairies, he flew east within the haven, deeper into the spring valley where the tinkers' nook was located. finding tinkerbell's house hadn't been difficult. he'd seen it a few times before he left and remembered it was a teapot she had repurposed into her home. finding the teapot nestled against the roots at the bottom of an oak tree, peter's feet made contact with the ground just before he sat in front of her home. he tapped on the small wooden door with a knuckle and crossed his legs where he sat, making himself more comfortable in case she would make him wait there until she was ready to speak to him... she never opened the door, but he heard the chimes of her voice from inside:
"i just didnβt like the way they were looking at you. like you werenβt mine."
he wanted to laugh, but he held back knowing it would only upset her more. instead a smile formed on his lips as he spoke, "come on, tink, they were just excited to see me. i'm sure every never fairy in existence knows you're my favorite fairy."
Commission done for El :> β’Β My siteΒ |Β Commissions InfoΒ β’Β β’Β InstagramΒ |Β TwitterΒ |Β YoutubeΒ Β |Β ArtfolΒ |Β ArtfightΒ β’
@dryadologist / send π and iβll write a starter using a line, sentence, or quote from a book ! / from quicksilver
"plenty of dark and hungry things lurk in the forgotten corners of this realm," it isn't meant as a threat, but coming from peter, it'd be reasonable for anyone to interpret it as such. his words always spoken like there were omens hidden in each syllable. it isn't unheard of for strangers to stumble into neverland. the island has it's own way of choosing who will find it, and for whatever reason, the island chose him. so peter will respect the island's decision and play the gracious host.
peter dropped down from the tree, his feet barely making a sound as they meet the forest floor. no longer high above in the tree, the fae-like boy now had to look up to meet the gaze of the island's newest visitor. "they're nothing i can't handle, however. so just stick by my side and you'll be safe."
fuuck I need to trap my friends in a haunted corn maze and make them attack each other
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ok well it has been real but i am going to kill you with a hammer now
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