Peace & Havoc on Earth

where there is peace there is havoc; a balance that builds us;

[peaceandhavoconearth]

Ticket, please.

Roller coasters are the most confusing thrill ride;

Beginning with the overly-suspenseful sloooooow drag to the tippity-top of the track. On the way up you watch everything around you get smaller as you hear the clicking of the cart on the rails being pulled. You forget you’re hundreds of feet off the ground and take in the view.

“I’m on a roller coaster that only goes up my friend.” - Augustus Waters, The Fault in Our Stars - John Greene

Once you’re at the top, there’s a good few seconds where you stop breathing as you hear nothing then a click and the coaster plummets down so fast your stomach is in your throat. 

Exhilarating and terrifying at the same time for two minutes of your life. 

That is how I would describe love; 

A roller coaster that you are afraid of but crave the rush.  

I thought you were only given one shot at love; ONE CHANCE to feel the drop in your stomach smash into your throat. The feeling of floating around light and happy regardless of the fact you didn’t sleep last night or the night before because you were too busy inhaling the person laughing next to you; too consumed in their intoxicating energy that reminds you that you are still human.

I guess you’re given more than one ticket to the greatest terrifying, exciting, nauseating, thrilling feeling ever. That is the feeling we pay good money to feel and sometimes replace with vices. A feeling people search their entire lives to feel just once to say they did. Where they are okay with loving and losing than not loving anyone at all. 

I choose love.

[peaceandhavoconearth]

Time Travel

have you ever looked back at your past self? how far back do you go?

I usually go back to when I could remember myself blossoming into the thorn-covered rose I am today. 

High school.

I loved high school; 

many people don’t, and that’s okay. I didn’t realize how much I loved high school until I was in my mid-twenties. I realized all the things I worried about at sixteen vs. twenty-six were small and meaningless then and I would prefer those. 

I realized I loved high school the most in my life because all my angels who have gained their wings were there with me then. 

ALIVE! 

This time hop, however, I am only going back eight months. Eight months where my heart needed time and unfortunately needed to feel the pain that was screaming at me to literally feel every single burning hot pin-needle stabbing into my chest. 

“That’s the thing about pain, it demands to be felt.” - John Greene, The Fault in Our Stars

Before the needles and the pain, it was butterflies. I melted like wax into a puddle on the floor because of a look. A look. 

This look is special, though; This one is rare. You only encounter this when you watch the faces of princesses and princes in Disney movies or when the universe finally got you to be just in the right place for it to align properly. You didn’t see it before because you were blinded by the smoke and the stars. The look where there is only one person in the room full of people. The one where you can’t look away no matter how hard you try. 

Do you know that one?

The one where you can see everything he wants to say to you just in his eyes but he can’t speak because he doesn’t want to ruin this exact moment, right here, right now;

 Is this real? This is happening? she is real, right? 

THAT look. 

I have seen this look only twice in my life. I know this look all too well. I had it once, too. 

Are you allowed to feel that more than once? 

That special flutter where everything stops when you’re with them and before you know it, it’s morning. where you hear a song and it reminds you of them so you keep playing it over and over until you know every chord, every octave, every word. You keep this on repeat because the heart that was full of wounds, doesn’t feel pain today. Instead, it’s this weird tickle. 

The tickle that brings you back to every moment you wanted to jump into a time machine and visit your favorite memories but only once and you can bring popcorn and just watch them dance in front of you like a choreographed ballet. 

Then, before you’re ready, it just turns off and you’re back where you started. 

Would you feel worse before you went there? Or, would you feel happy that those memories happened and you got to relive it one last time?

Roll the dice...

[peaceandhavoconearth]

Swing Batter, Batter

You yell at the universe because it’s screwing you over. 

Then, it hands you a gift with a bow. 

Puzzled, you say, “what’s the catch?”

There is no response, the universe just smirks. 

Do you take it?

[peaceandhavoconearth]

i’ll take: INTROVERTS for $400

I have grown up with ‘there’s no such thing as a stupid question’ as most did. I disbelieve that statement whole-heartedly. There are. 

I have been asked the question, ‘what is your type?’ many times. 

The answer always results the same: I don’t know.

I really don’t. 

I don’t think that people just fall into categories and have 100% of their features picked apart and criticized until your combination is the perfect match for someone else. I have been told I was the perfect package once before; Head to toe: The hair, eyes, personality, political views... everything. 

Not perfect enough, though.

He was a different ‘type’ than someone I was with prior. Personality-wise to the way they dress, down to the cars they drove. Completely 180 difference in people. How is that? 

I don’t really have a type. I don’t like that we’re categorized because I always saw myself as unique, but don’t we all? Are we even unique if some people just clone everything about themselves for something else to turn into something else? Does that even make it you, anymore? 

My type of person has to vibe with me; I know within thirty minutes of meeting you whether we’d get along. You like sarcasm? You able to handle a joke? You like to eat? Can you handle four other conversations within one conversation which turns into hours of story-inception? 

Type-A’s Need Not Apply! 

I am one of those old souls that likes people for who they are; inside and out. We can’t all fall in love with Abercrombie Models and some models fall in love with ones like the rest of us who look like we fell into a dumpster a couple of times on the way to work... 

What do you see when you close your eyes? Do you dream in color?  Those are questions that make me feel like I don’t just quite fit into Jeopardy! categories you can buy. 

I prefer losing sleep, because we’re too busy finding things to talk about. 

[funnytwittertweets]

[peaceandhavoconearth]

correct. now what?...

[peaceandhavoconearth]

Famous Last Words

Is it the NEED to have the last word? I NEED them to know that they didn’t run my life and they don’t drive me now. Would it even make a difference? What do they do, just smirk when they read it? 

How cute. They think. Trying to be a big girl now? 

I know that I am going to feel more like shit than if I would just keep my mouth shut which is not as easy as you may think. I am little and my personality is HUGE! I have to be heard and if someone says I can’t do something, I will be first in line to do it just in spite of them. Oh, you can’t do that. TRY ME. 

Not healthy, I know. We all do it, though. All the things you wish you could say. You typed that text 1000 times, but never hit send, corrected it, deleted it, retyped it and then eventually threw your phone across your bed while growling at the same time. I don’t EVEN want to hear no woman has ever done that... 

I am not proud of it. You think I like being rejected and emotionally devastated decades after high school? You think this is what we look forward to after you are thrown into the concrete jungle and are given a plastic card that allows you to make all of these irrational mistakes and decisions that were made off of two glasses of chardonnay on a Tuesday at your bestie’s house?

Crying with mascara running down your face while screaming into your pillow. Wondering why this is where your life is taking you... Can we just get back on the bus and go back to the first stop where all of this started and have a do over? 

Famous Last Words, Boo <3  

[peaceandhavoconearth]

You're Doing it Wrong

You’re Doing it Wrong

https://peaceandhavoconearth.tumblr.com/post/646023713405485056/youre-doing-it-wrong

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[peaceandhavoconearth]

You’re Doing it Wrong

Some days are more dramatic than others;

Perhaps, the moons were aligned differently. Or the suns were arguing with the stars and that threw your astrological bullshit off kilter;

Forcing you to wake up on the same side of the bed you did yesterday, but you did it wrong today. &you can’t go back and try again because you’ve already done it once and it wasn’t right. To conclude the phrase ‘woke up on the wrong side of the bed’, must interpret that you did it wrong and now your day is going to be a total smash-hole. 

Advice: Wake up right next time. 

Fin.

[peaceandhavoconearth]

Addictive Personality

Sometimes, the heart is too easy to please. Getting excited at the thought of one person and then you seep into my brain and overtake all senses of reality. It’s hard to notice until pointed it out and then your heart seizes.

Hearts should not be worn on the outside, they need to be caged up and controlled; maintained with steady doses of happiness and love. If it gets the high all at once, you don’t notice yourself falling into the same pattern as before and that’s where the addiction comes in;

Relax. 

The word that makes unrelaxed people cringe. 

It’s the ones who like to express their feelings and opinions that get told to relax. it’s too much to inhale and then they start choking. 

Do we help? 

No, we let them choke. Eat. My. Words;

Swallow them, digest them, let them consume you. When your heart seizes, then you can tell me to relax. 

I fall for sweet words and secret kisses, moments between us nobody knows, laughs shared at 3am. I let you see inside the glass house and you chose to throw the fucking stones anyway and now I am left here to relax with this addiction to attention that I didn’t know I was lacking. 

Life goals.

[perfectfeelings]

I just want us to talk again.

(via perfectfeelings)

this.

[peaceandhavoconearth]

All hail the pain...

All hail the pain…

You’d think I’d run out of words; silenced by pain. The opposite happened, it made me throw up paragraphs of how much I don’t understand the universe and wtf we are even supposed to be doing here. Step one, find a mate; a lover who puts up with your bullshit and antics while deep down knowing you are just a kitten who needs to be loved. I think my soulmate is on backorder, or I was wrong. I was…

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[peaceandhavoconearth]

Bubbles to Lava

Is there a necessity for haunting my dreams? My once safe space that now has been penetrated by your toxic narcissistic green eyes... Those eyes that look like the silent foam on the sea that make my knees buckle and I start melting on the inside;  felt like bubbles in my chest. The aroma of him hiding in my shirt and when I moved, he surrounded me like smoke. 

Now, the bubbles are hot, scolding lava and I can’t breathe. The smoke is now choking me and you’re like a horrible nightmare that I can’t run from. 

Go away.

I hide under my blankets, yelling, “you have already tried to destroy me, just leave my mind and move on to torture another soul who might be dumb enough to let you.”

Is he gone yet?

[weltenwellen]

Margarita Karapanou, tr. by Karen Emmerich, Rien ne va plus

[peaceandhavoconearth]

this <3 

[peaceandhavoconearth]

Incorrect Buzzfeed Unsolved

*Ryan and Shane in a supernatural episode*

Shane: It’s dark in here

Ryan: Don’t worry dude I got this

Ryan: *Stomps their feet*

Ryan: *Skechers light up*

[peaceandhavoconearth]

Peace & Havoc on Earth

whos up for a little havoc?

;) 

[peaceandhavoconearth]

Good Luck, Chuck?

funny thing, I think my luck may be on the up-rise;

as I woke up to broken glasses in the morning. 

a few days before, I selfishly ordered a new pair because I wanted & desperately needed a change and they’re on the way…

Coincidence? luck changing? universe giving me a nudge for good faith? or good timing?

[peaceandhavoconearth]

The stars have not aligned the way that it may have been anticipated... perhaps curses are real and this is life as I know it, forever.

[peaceandhavoconearth]

diaS de los muertos

There comes a time when you know you need to just let go; holding onto something you can’t even see anymore is bruising your heart more than helping. Yes, it hurts. Yes, it aches. There is more time spent missing what used to be there than what could be. Move on. 

It’s so easy to say, ‘just let it go’. Why do we insist on holding onto what’s not there? Hope? Maybe there is a chance they may came back? Maybe, your worst fear has actually come true and they left you in the dark, alone and scared.

You are dead to them. 

Now, you’re a shell of who you used to be; faded and worn down. There is no point thinking of the days where you felt most alive when every day you are a dead soul wondering the earth holding onto memories. &that’s all they’ll ever be... memories. Like in elementary school in the 90′s and you had to watch a film strip in class. That is how the memories play in your head and you can barely make out what is going on or the faces that plague your mind, but you know it’s playing in the background. 

Why walk around dead? The dead don’t walk. They haunt the living until the living dies and joins them in their misery. Change your ending.

You. Need. To. Let. Go;