I have not posted on this account in nearly THREE YEARS!!!! But I’ve been furloughed and have been falling in love with writing again! So PLEASE send me ideas on fics you would like to read and I will do my best!
The day I found out John had died, I thought I lost Michael too. I wept in my bed for days the thought I’d lost my best friend. We were together, Michael and I. His mum knew, Finn knew and a few of my friends but apart from that we kept it very quiet. He always told me he didn’t want me involved, didn’t want me dragged down by him. But I didn’t care, I told him that constantly but he insisted that he didn’t want me hurt. He didn’t want me to put through anything.
His mother gave me a call a few days later to tell me he was in hospital, alive and awake then told me when I could go and see him. When I stepped into his hospital room seeing him lie there bullet wounds through his skin and I have never seen him look so weak. My heart broke but I climbed into his bed and stroked his hair and traced his skin with my fingers where I could. He told me he hadn’t slept properly since the shooting but after ten minutes of being in my arms he was snoring softly away.
“Hello you,” he whispers groggily waking up from his sleep. I smile back at him stroking his jaw and gently kissing his head. “I needed that sleep.”
“You scared me you know, I thought you were dead.”
“I would never die on you,” he promised puckering his lips again to indicate he wanted a kiss. I kissed him softly trying not to hurt him.
I stayed with him for hours talking about life after he was out. He told me that life was too short and made promises to me I had dreamt he would make. It sounded like i would finally have the life I had always dreamt of with Michael. I had to sneak in and out to see him when his cousins weren’t there and he paid the nurses not to say.
“We’ll get married one day you know,” he said as I sad opposite him playing a game of chess. I smiled from ear to ear putting my head down so he couldn’t see me blush.
“You think?” I asked sheepishly.
“I know it.”
That was the last time I had seen Michael. The next time I went to the hospital, the nurse told me he had been released. As excited as I was, I was confused as to why he hadn’t rung. I waited by the phone at home for the next couple days but no call ever came, when I phoned him it rang straight through. Eventually I went to Polly’s door. I was shaking the whole way there as she is by far the scariest woman I know end going round demanding to know where her son is did not seem like a bright idea, but I didn’t care. As I knocked the first time it swung open.
“Oh (Y/N),” she said looking shocked and sorry to see me. Her demeanor changed after a few moments from looking at me soft to her stern look again. “I’m on my way out is it important?”
“Wh… where’s Micheal? Is he ok? I haven’t heard from him and I hear he’s out of hospital,” I start babbling to her nervously.
“He’s gone to America,” she says bluntly stopping my running train of thoughts.
“He what?” I say feeling the lump rise up my throat.
“New York. Tommy sent him to run business out there and well you know to keep him in check.”
“He didn’t say…”
“Look (Y/N) the less you know, the less your involved the better. You seem like a nice girl go live a nice life.” With that she lit a cigarette and walked away. Leaving you standing there heartbroken and confused.
For the next few months you were angry, you had a chip on your shoulder. How could the world do this to you? You’ve been nothing but nice and kind to people all your life and the one thing you loved was ripped away from you. You kept yourself to yourself for a while but when you finally started feeling yourself again it was the perfect excuse for, well, multiple benders. You would finish up work on Friday afternoon straight to the pub and hopefully make it back by Sunday night. You still quite often so Finn around as yous had been friends on and off since school. It was crazy watching him grow up turning into exactly like his brothers when he used to be the sweetest boy around. One night at the pub you’d clearly had one too many drams and one too many lines. You never could handle the snow. Finn slumped down next to you, you’d both taken it a bit too far.
“Why is the world so unfair Finn,” you slurred. He laughed sliding you another glass of whisky.
“I wish I had the answer,” he replied.
“Honestly it took the one good thing in my life tore it out my arms and sent him to America,” you sighed before taking a swig.
“Michael wasn’t good for you,” Finn said quite bluntly clearing his throat. You furrowed your brow looking at him confused by what he meant. “He hid you away from everyone didn’t want anyone to know about you. You should be showed off (Y/N) pretty face like yours. He told you he wanted to marry you, but he never loved you. You can’t walk away from someone you love that easy without even a goodbye.” You sank back in your chair taking in what he was saying. He was right though you hadn’t realised how much it hurt to love someone who didn’t love you back.
“Anyway, you know you could have your pick of the bunch,” Finn laughed nudging your arm playfully trying to cheer you up.
“Fuck Michael gray,” you spat.
“Well cheers to that,” Finn said raising his glass to cheers yours.
Three years have gone by and you still think about Michael now and then. Wondering what life was like in America but you stopped wondering long ago what life would be like if he was still here and got on with yours. Your heart hadn’t felt broken in heard and you moved on. Or you thought you had. On the way back from dinner with one of your work friends you were walking past the midland hotel. And stepping out a Bentley with a beautiful blonde girl on his arm was Michael fucking Gray.
i accidentally found ur blog and i spent all night reading your imagines and IM IN LOVE! i don’t really have a specific request¿ i just wish imagine blogs included characters of color more? im asian and when i wish some asian characters would exist in the PB world anyway sending u lots of love and kisses 💖💕
Thank you so so so much!! I’m not really writing much at the moment but when I get back into it I will definitely take this into consideration, POC should definitely have more representation 💕
A/N: this was a request about Grace coming in between Tommy and the reader. Noo hate to grace I didn’t hate her character.
You always thought you would end up together, that somehow the universe would push you two together again. You and Tommy had been together for 8 years before deciding to break up. The split was a surprise to everybody except you and Tommy and it was for many different reasons. But the main one was you didn’t know who you were anymore. You were so morphed into Tommy’s world you felt you had lost any originality you had. You needed to be by yourself, learn to do things for yourself and find yourself again. This was three years ago and since the break up you two had remained close, very close. Definitely, on more than one occasion you had ended up back in his bed. You still loved him and things really hadn’t changed apart from not going home with him at the end of the day.
“Look at you two,” Polly scoffed walking into the room as Tommy pulled the chair out for you as you were about to eat lunch together. “When are you going to get over yourselves and get back together.” You and Tommy both laughed at her, you shifted nervously in your seat catching Tommy’s eye. You had in fact had been closer to him again, like back when you were teenagers and was planning to confess your feelings soon.
“She won’t have me,” Tommy joked taking a bite of his sandwich.
“Oh shut up,” you laughed kicking his leg playfully but letting it linger sliding it up his calf. You had seen tommy relax this week, his mood was uplifted and he wasn’t as on edge as he had been for the last couple years.
Tommy looked up at the clock noticing the time and started to get up and grabbing his jacket. “I didn’t notice the time, I have somewhere to be. See you later girls!” and with that, he was out the door.
“Where’s he going?” you ask turning to Polly.
“Oh like he tells me anything,” she scoffed sitting down and starting to eat the rest of his sandwich.
For the weeks to come, you saw Tommy less and less. There were no more lunch dates at work, he would leave the offices every day for his lunch at the same time. Sometimes you’d wait around after work to see if he would walk you home but he’d just wave you goodbye and disappear. After such a good couple weeks you were gutted that you felt you were truly losing him. You didn’t know what was going on but you wanted to find out.
“Where’s he off to today then?” you asked Lizzie and Pol who were standing by the kettle as Tommy headed out the door. The women exchanged a glance before awkwardly looking at anything but you. The silence went from awkward to tragic and you were losing patience.
“What are you's not telling me?” you ask trying to make your voice sound playful so they wouldn’t suspect how worried you were.
“Well…” Lizzie started. “Word is, there’s a girl.” You’re heart dropped.
“A girl?” you asked slowly trying to keep calm in front of them.
“Yeah well a woman, Irish apparently.”
“Right…” you nodded slowly.
“No one knows for sure though,” Polly butted in trying to be reassuring. “Not like he tells us anything anyway.”
“Excuse me ladies,” you smile before making your way to the bathroom. You closed the door behind you and fell against the wall. The weight you felt in your chest was pinning you down and you your breath kept hitching in your throat. You could not believe it so you decided to see for yourself.
You left the bathroom, grabbed your coat, ignored the questions coming from the kitchen and headed out the door. You ran quickly going down the route where you used to walk with Tommy on your breaks at work until you finally caught sight of him. He was quite a bit in front of you so there was no way he would know you were there. You prayed he was going to meet a man or maybe one of his brothers.
But then you saw her. She was beautiful, absolutely stunning. She was tall, slim with gorgeous blonde hair that fell perfectly around her face. You saw his smile, the smile he used to have many moons ago. He looked happy, she looked happy. He lent in and kissed her lightly on the cheek before walking her through the doors and out of your view. You were floored, the breath was knocked from your stomach as you clutched to the nearest wall for support. He had moved on. He had moved on without you.
You took your time walking back to the offices, it was as if everything was moving at light speed but you were stuck in slow motion. Your head spun around trying to grasp the concept of Tommy happy with another woman. You always assumed you would get married, maybe have a family, grow old in a country house eventually. But your dreams had been destroyed in seconds. You finally made it through the doors of the offices and was met by John.
“Jesus Christ what happened to you?” he asked concerned making his way over to you just to give you a hand to stay upright. You were pale and the black kohl had smudged right down your face without you even noticing.
“Oh Jesus,” pol said as she ran through after hearing John. “Get back to work she said swatting him away from you and grabbing your waist.
“Is she OK?” John asked again a bit more worried.
“She’s fine we just need some privacy.”
When Polly finally got you into her office, she sat you down on her couch wrapping a blanket around you to stop you shivering.
“It’s true. The rumours are True. and guess what she’s stunning,” you laughed a little thinking about it. Thinking how there was no way you could even possibly compare.
“I knew something was up, what happened between you two you seemed like you were getting on again?”
“I don’t know anymore,” you sigh.
“That fucking Tommy, I’ll have his neck when he comes through that door.”
“No, Pol.” you interrupt her ranting quickly. “You should have seen him, he was so happy.” she looked at you with sad eyes realising that you didn’t want her to sort it out because you wanted him to just be happy.
“Oh my darling,” she whispered pulling you into a hug.
“(Y/N)!?” Tommy shouted as he busted into the room looking frantic until his eyes laid on you “What’s wrong? I ran into John he said you looked upset are you okay?” he was speaking quickly, that’s something he always did when he was worried.
“I’ll give you guys some space,” Pol said as she got up and made her way out the door.
“What happened? Are you OK? Are you hurt?” Tommy was still rambling just wanting to know you were OK.
“I’m fine,” you let out a big sigh sinking into the couch.
“Then what’s going on?” Tommy asked even more confused.
“She is really beautiful Tom.” He looked at you like you had just sprouted another head truly not knowing what you were on about. “The blonde woman, she is beautiful.” Tommy sat back a bit finally realising why you were upset and what was going on.
“I was going to speak to you about that…” he trailed off obviously not know what to say.
“It’s Ok, you don’t have to say anything.”
“(Y/N) I…”
“Stop,” you cut him off quickly as tears began to surface again. “I don't want to hear it. I don’t physically think I can take in anything you’re going to say to me.”
“I’m sorry for not telling you but it’s not serious we’ve only met a couple times.”
“I want to hand in my resignation,” you interrupt him again. This time you really caught him off guard.
“What the hell are you on about? You’re quitting? Why?”
“I can’t do it, Tom,” you sigh again rubbing your temples trying to relieve some of the stress in your head.
“Can’t do what?”
“I can’t sit here working for the man I thought I would end up with, thought I would marry, thought i would start a family with, grow old with. I can not sit here in the building he owns working for a company with his name on it whilst he is doing all these things with somebody else!” you snap finally fully breaking down in front of him. He swallowed hard before speaking again.
“You can’t do this. This isn’t fair (Y/N), you left me you said i was stopping you from being you how was i meant to know that you still felt that way!?” his voice was raised now.
“You knew fine!” you screamed back. “And the last couple months what was that? Fucking, staying over, going on dates is that what friends do?”
“I thought you were just lonely like me!”
“Lonely!? That’s all that was to you? Someone to fill the void until the blinder supermodel finally showed up?” you were raging. Your voice was so loud you knew everyone in the whole building could hear you but you didn’t care.
“That’s not what I meant but how was i meant to know any better?”
“Why couldn’t I make you that happy Tom?” you whispered reverting back into yourself, you bawled like a little girl. The last break up was hard but it didn’t feel real. This felt real.
“You made me happy. Then you left me and you made me feel sad I had never felt. I couldn’t wait for you because i never knew if you were coming back.”
“I was coming back.” you both sat there in silence. You could tell his head was all over the place. He didn’t know what to say or do.
“Will you chose me Tom?” you asked him. He sighed heavily looking at the ceiling for a while.
“I don’t know…” he answered. You nodded and stood up sorting out your skirt and pulling your coat buttons together.
“Mr. Thomas Shelby,” you cleared your throat. “It has been a pleasure working under you at Shelby Company Ltd. but this is my notice of resignation.” And with that, you turned to the door and made your way out the building. You could hear him calling after you, telling you to wait but he was right. It’s too hard to wait for someone never knowing if they’re coming back.
Request: Can I request one where you’re friends with Michael and after the charlotte situation he tells you that you’re the only one he’d want to have kids with?
Author’s note: This one is a little rambly but was super fun to write so hope you enjoy it as much as i did.
Warnings: Lots and Lots of swearing, fluff.
“What the fuck is going on, Michael?” You ask as your best friend or ex-best friend you weren’t really sure. Michael had been off with you for about a month now, you knew there was business, family business going on. But usually, he would tell you about all that. I mean you two had literally been inseparable for the past two years (much to the dislike of your boy/girlfriend’s through the years)and now all of a sudden you barely saw him and when you did it was like he wasn’t really there.
“Where’s that money I gave you? The money i told you to keep for emergencies?” He said searching through your cupboards in your kitchen pulling things out and making a mess as he did so.
“You don’t need to know everything (Y/N)! Maybe if you kept your nose out of other people’s business you’d be less of a bitch.” This stung a lot, you could feel your eyes stinging as they started to tear up. He had never spoken to you like this before.
— ok this hurt me a lil wayyy too much sksjakja This was fucking insane, I honestly didn’t know how you’d play the whole “I only wanna have children with you” like but wow! It was well executed & kept me soooo hooked! I loOVE IT!
Hello there hope you are well. I just found ur blog I really enjoy ur writing. I have a request for Finn that a female gangster who is a total badass and smart makes having Finn for the night part of the deal. Sorta like the coin flip scene. But she dosnt force him or nothing cause you know consent is key. Sorry if this is long and specific but thanks.
Side note: this is unedited but I will edit it tomorrow so please forgive any errors. But this is some sad but fluffy John and I really hope you enjoy. ALSO s4 spoilers ahead!!!!
After you heard the news about John your heart was stuck sinking in your stomach for weeks, you couldn’t help but reminisce about all the times you had with that wild man.
Side note: this is unedited but I will edit it tomorrow so please forgive any errors. But this is some sad but fluffy John and I really hope you enjoy. ALSO s4 spoilers ahead!!!!
After you heard the news about John your heart was stuck sinking in your stomach for weeks, you couldn’t help but reminisce about all the times you had with that wild man.
You two had been thick as thieves when you were young, first loves when you were teenagers and best friends when you finally grew up. But you drifted apart as his life took him in the dangerous direction it did, you both still loved each other but enough to let each other go. But he still took the time to send you a card and flowers every year on your birthday. Even after you broke up, after he got married, after the war and after the kids, he would always send them to you. Today was your birthday but no card or flowers came to the door and the realisation that John Shelby would never be there standing at your door again hit you like a tonne of bricks.
One memory you’ll forever treasure where John rocked up at your door was the first weekend you finally moved out at 18 and got a little apartment by yourself. Every man and their dog seemed to be at the garrison that night and John was obviously there right in the middle of the partying. The night was long and you had had one too many so decided to call it a night much earlier than you usually would sneaking out the door so none of your friends would see you and try to drag you back to the bar for one more drink.
You must have fallen asleep as soon as you got through the door because you woke up on the couch by your window still fully dressed to loud banging at the door. Your head was so foggy you were barely thinking straight making your way to the door and swinging it open only to see John standing there with that goofy grin in the pissing rain.
“I need a place to stay, Pol kicked me out cause I woke her up being drunk again,” he laughed edging towards the door trying to shelter himself slightly from the downpour.
“Well isn’t that a shame,” you poured sarcastically closing the door a little like you weren’t going to let him in. You had to bite your lip to stop yourself from laughing.
“You not going to let me in then?” John grinned with an eyebrow raised as if it was a challenge.
“Nope,” you laugh watching the poor boy get drenched.
“Right then,” he said before pushing the door open with one hand and lifting you off the ground with the other. You wrapped your legs around your waist as he balanced you turning you round once he was inside.
“You’re getting me wet!” You squeal still laughing in his arms.
“Well isn’t that a shame,” he whispered heavily before moving you back against the wall, slamming the door shut and colliding his lips with yours.
You felt safe and loved in his strong embrace as he carried you through your flat to your bedroom. But as things were really getting heated the poor judgment due to too much alcohol kicked in and he tripped up the step leaving you both flying to the floor.
“Oh my god are you ok!?” John asked trying to sit up and look over to you. As his vision became less blurry he was relieved to see you were hysterically laughing next to him on the floor.
“You fucking idiot!” You gasped between fits of laughter. He found your laugh infectious and in a few moments he was joining in.
As you both lay there on the floor he reached over pulling you into him as you both caught your breath. “Where did you go tonight?” He sighed finally relaxing again.
“Just home had too much to drink and needed to sleep it off,” You yawn scrambling up to your feet and grabbing his hand to pull him up with you.
“Tell me next time ok?”
“No you would have just forced another drink down me and I’d regret it in the morning,” you laugh climbing into the bed and moving into his warm embrace again.
“I will go wherever you want to be, as long as you’re there I’m happy,” John whispered whilst stroking your hair down your back.
“I love you,” you whispered looking up and placing a quick gentle kiss on his lips.
“I love you too,” and with that, you fell off to sleep.
Remembering this small glimpse of the past made your chest feel incredibly heavy as you swallowed down the lump that had begun to form in your throat. You sat with your knees pulled up to your chest on your couch looking at the door believing that he’d be there any minute with those flowers and that damn card. You would always wait. You couldn’t wait. You couldn’t let this go.
R.I.P John Shelby as you can tell I’m still not over it
After literally something like 5 months I finally have some work going up tomorrow and time to really get back on track, look out for some of my fave boy John
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