🐧

The US Supreme Court ruled that tomatoes are vegetables.

[henstomper]

truly do not understand workplace drama. we're stuck here doing stupid bullshit for 8 hours and you want to make it worse? But on the other hand I love hearing about arguments that are not and never will be my problem

[t00thpasteface]

random anecdote for father's day: one time during a long car ride my dad asked me, "you're familiar with Murphy's Law, right?" and i was like "isn't that the one about how anything that can go wrong will go wrong?" and he said "yeah, exactly" and i said "why do you ask?" and he went "well, have you heard of Cole's Law?" and i said "no, actually, what's that?" and he said "it's mostly lettuce and carrots with a little dressing mixed in"

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

blows my mind that cheetahs are apex predators. that is the single most anxious creature I have ever seen. at any given moment a cheetah is exactly one stubbed paw away from bursting into tears. that is a sad dripping wet animal, and it's at the top of the local food chain? babygirl what happened

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

things I learned from this post:

cheetahs regularly get bullied by lions, hyenas, crocodiles, and baboons

multiple people think this means leopards aren't an apex predator/belong lower on the food chain

which is how I learned humans equate social status with position on the food chain. (which is nonsense to anyone who's ever met, for instance, a moose)

an apex predator is just a predator without natural predators of its own. you can be an anxious pathetic mess, but if you're not getting eaten by your neighbors, congrats! you're an apex predator.

i look it up to make sure cheetahs are apex predators

I find out it's not uncommon for cheetah cubs (and very occasionally adults) to be eaten by lions, leopards, hyneas, and even eagles???

well that sure calls into question their apex predator status. out of curiosity i check to see if there are any animals that hunt lions

this is how I discover that cheetahs, lions, hyenas, and leopards will all eat each other's children if presented with an easy opportunity (and sometimes young/elderly/injured adults)

begining to wonder how useful 'apex predator' is as a term

in conclusion, cheetahs are so fast because they are fueled by Grade A+ Ultra Concentrated Anxiety and they need that speed to run away from their problems

[roach-works]

baby cheetahs have fluffy little mohawks because mom tends to just stash them under a bush for a day while she goes and hunts. this mohawk a) helps them blend into dry grass better and b) arguably makes them look like honey badgers from above, which is the last thing a hungry eagle would ever want to dive on.

pictured above: africa's deadliest brick. many, many predators have camouflaged babies! pumas and lions for example have spotty babies but solid adult coats, and most canines have dark-coated pups. hyenas too! but cheetahs are pretty unusual for having babies that mimic the coat of a scarier predator.

[crabussy]

wow I love to sit crosslegged without moving for several hours straight!

[crabussy]

okay time to straighten my legs man I'm so excited

[crabussy]

I f eel like a suit of armour that was attacked by a welder

[0xeyedaisy]

tumblr stop recommending me unrebloggable posts. Do you know how sad I got cuz I realized I couldn't reblog this

[rosenkranz-does-things]

Sinners studies in heavypaint

[shencomix]

[shencomix]

[justsomeguycore]

ugh. forget everything i’ve ever said. unless you thought it was smart or funny in which case remember it forever

[charl0ttan]

i swear to god that social cue wasnt there before

[the-forest-library]

kill the imposter syndrome in your head because not only is there someone out there doing it worse than you, they’re also using chat gpt to do it

[wuntrum]

i am nooooot locked the fuck in. im locked the fuck out. call the locksmith

[writingraccoon]

Love the word "also". I have more things to say

[sexchangedotcom]

"tumblr's the only social media without algorithms!" "you can still be anonymous on tumblr!" "tumblr's so nice because you don't have to show your face!" WRONG tumblr is special because you can have 3000 followers and still get an average of seven likes a post. i'm doing stand up comedy at a packed venue and one person is laughing

[fortressofself]

i am so about walking around museums and holding hands

[killxbunnyyy]

sorry i never replied. everyday is blending together and im losing sense of time

[televisionenjoyer]

"if tumblr dies you can find me on bluesky" "if tumblr dies you can find me on Instagram" if tumblr dies you cannot find me. It's over. I'm free.