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pup lyf

[feldfrog]

If a fantasy world has an ancient tree of wisdom, that means it must also have young trees that are dumb as shit. Just giving terrible advice like, "the evil wizard is kinda hot"'

[hkayakh]

@evilwizard

[evilwizard]

STOP SENDING ME THIS

[foldingfittedsheets]

Quick warm up of Princess Donut, the Queen Ann Chonk.

[ratbastarddotfuck]

you have to forgive the printer because it's one of the most machine-ass machines we interact with on a day to day basis. that thing says kerchunk. hardly anything says kerchunk these days. you can't get mad at her when she kerchunks up a little.

[digitalsymbiote]

Crazy that tech has gotten so bad that we're doing printer forgiveness now

[joehills]

Artificial intelligence is attempting to kill deterministic computing the way electricity killed whaling.

Dungeon Crawler Carl is our generation’s Moby Dick.

[mimi-maru]

the vengeance of the daughter

[teaboot]

“Do you ship...” Buddy I will ship almost anything if I think about it too long. I love love and situations

[dark-magician-girl-meets-world]

I tried distracting a vampire by throwing rice at him, but I only had two grains with me so it didn't work. He counted them instantly. Then he asked me what I was even doing with exactly two grains of rice, and I explained how a bowl of rice tastes better if you spread it out over an entire day. I asked him if he was gonna suck my blood but he said no, he just had a lot more questions about the rice thing.

[zuccnini]

[oc] Beartrice portrait

[artbyblastweave]

Being a henchman suuuucks dude. This latest guy I'm working for, the War-Madillo, he's got a, an Armadillo- motif, or theme, or whatever, right? That's fine, fine, I did a two-month stint with a Marmoset-themed guy once, it's not bottom of the barrel- except. Except. It turns out, he picked the Armadillo thing because he thinks that they're obligate carnivores. Which they kind of are, I mean I googled this, they're insectivores, but he thinks that they're like, land piranhas. He thinks they work in packs to take down significantly larger animals. He thinks they lay eggs in the remains of their prey. He's killed like three guys for trying to correct him. Me and the other guys are paying out of pocket to get the poor little guys in his Armadillo pit food that they can actually eat. Every time he drops some sucker into that thing we all have to draw straws to see who's gonna have to go in and gnaw on the body so he thinks the Armadillos are doing it. Thank god it's such a long drop

[oralhardwarestore]

382752488261 unique posts remain

[artbyblastweave]

listen, man, I don't appreciate this kind of pressure. I'm posting as often as I can. I spent this morning shoving store-bought eggs down a dead guy's throat. Some of us have jobs, man

[rayvedd]

can I just freeze time so I can stay in bed forever

[unofficial-autism-post]

Unofficial Autism Post

[dungeonlust]

Art by • Frank Frazetta

[coldcrashpictures]

I think about this story two times a week:

[maidthings]

"this is unbecoming of me" is genuinely a useful thing to have in your mental toolbox

[fake-lancelot]

[byjove]

hey man, I can’t make it tomorrow. mom just told me I have to go into grandpa’s funeral barrow and fight his draugr for the family heirloom cursed sword. it’s probably going to be an all day thing. yeah, I know. I’m sorry.

[pigeon-butch]

your muscles being pleasantly sore after exercise is such a nice incentive I can see why they patched that in. the forced regular logins to avoid losing progress however are a predatory practice and deserve nothing but scorn.

[gotchibam]

Raichu and Tyranitar ko-fi doodle for Bryce! 🍒

[reginaldqueribundus]

the Federation itself as a concept is so funny because the founding members are

the Vulcans, who have been friends with humanity for years but don't seem to actually like them all that much, instead regarding them with a sort of perverse fascination usually reserved for virology labs

the Andorians, who were fighting the Vulcans for like a hundred years

the Tellarites, who don't like any of these people and whose cultural trait is arguing, and

humans, whom nobody knew existed until last century when they shot themselves into space on a heavily modified nuke, invented world peace and won a fight with the nearest imperial superpower

like imagine you're the Romulan Empire and these weird monkeys who've barely figured out interstellar travel show up on your doorstep in the equivalent of a shipping container with missiles strapped to it, kick your ass in front of everybody, and then start a friendship club with 3 of your neighbours who all hated each others' guts until like a year ago. now I understand why every Romulan on the show is so angry

[bottleshark]

I can't stop reading Dungeon Crawler Carl