This past week, I have been reading a blog about this man who was distressed about his life situation. He had a job he hated and had become disconnected from the friends and activities he once cared about. He said he was depressed. He said he felt like he had lost himself. He said he hated how he feel trapped.
That sounded familiar. That strangely sounded like my subconscious, and that I just do not want to admit it.
But then why not quit? I thought.
Then it dawned to me -- both of us had become accustomed to the lifestyle, familial obligations, among others that our job can afford. So quitting it was out of the question.
They say the people who struggle with the so-called ālife purposeā question, always complain that they donāt know what to do. But the real problem is not that we donāt know what to do. Itās that we donāt know what to give up.
In a way, my so-called life purpose crisis is a luxury, something I allowed to have as a result of the amazing freedoms the modern world has bestowed upon us.
It is very common nowadays for people to complain about work/life balance. There are articles all over the mainstream media debating whether itās possible to āhave it allā ā i.e., is it possible to be an all star in your career and have a healthy family life and have cool and fun hobbies and be financially stable and have that sexy bikini body and cook organic soufflĆ© in your underwear while buying beachfront property on your new iPhone 7, all at the same time?
Whatās changed is not our inability to manage our time or ābalance our livesā between work and play. Whatās changed is that we have more opportunities for work and play than ever before ā more interests, more awareness of every potential experience weāre passing up.
And weāre made aware of this in a terribly connected way each day (see social media). Every person who decides to sacrifice their dating life to advance their career is now bombarded constantly by the rambunctious sex lives of their friends and strangers. Every person who sacrifices their career prospects to dedicate more time and energy to their family is now bombarded with the material successes of the most exceptional people around them at all times. Every person who decides to take a thankless but necessary role in society is now constantly drowned in inane stories of the famous and beautiful.
So how do we respond to this new, overly-connected culture? How do we manage our Fear-Of-Missing-Out?
The conventional answer, the answer youāll find in most bookstores and at most seminars is some variation of ādo more with less,ā āpractice time management, et cetera et cetera et cetera.
While other people will complain about a the typical work/life balance, woe-is-me complaint we always hear: āI have all of these things I want to do and not enough time.ā
I have always been told, as a child and growing up, that I can be anything i want, and that I can do a lot of things for the world.
But what if the answer isnāt to do more?
What if the answer is to want less?
What if the solution is simply accepting our bounded potential, our unfortunate tendency as humans to inhabit only one place in space and time. What if we recognize our lifeās inevitable limitations and then prioritize what we care about based on those limitations?
What if itās as simple as stating, āThis is what I choose to value more than everything else,ā and then living with it?
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