Brian Ames Shitposts @pecuniaryprissshitposts - Tumblr Blog

...I mean, it's worth a try, right??

One of the funniest things my Mum said about Mike Wozniak was that "he performs like he's got dementia" and I still don't think that any review that I can read will ever be as hilarious as that

#I think she was maybe referencing his timing?#As in - he pauses talking for long periods of time for comedic effect as if he doesn't know what he's even talking about #But oh my god #What a statement

Brian's bio: -states that he is a financial advisor- Person's muse: -appropriately, asks Brian for financial advice- Me, who knows absolutely shit-all about financing: OH NO I'VE DONE IT AGAIN

#Tell me why I always pick the muses who do something so wildly out my comprehension #Why couldn't I pick a muse that just really likes hamsters LMAO #No I had to pick the twat who loves political buildings of interest and making historically accurate models of warships

The fact that Dan has uttered both the sentences "Fuck my face!" and "Fuck my entire face!" at Brian and specifically only Brian during the show is ....... well, it's a talking point!!!!

I'm not saying it was definitely intentional but the very specific instances in which it was used as a term of speech definitely feels a little bit queerbait-y by our dear Mr. Davies honestly LMAO

ACTUALLY Y'KNOW WHAT -A LOT- OF THE SERIES FELT LIKE THAT TO ME AND I DON'T THINK I'M THE ONLY ONE!!!!!!!!

It's just like Johnlock all over again </3 They're not actually gay but the writers knew what they were doing with these characters, for sure!!!

“THEN WHAT THE BLOODY HELL AM I?!” being one of the lines that truly sticks with me, THEN they had to do the whole frigging teddy bear episode on top of that and WHAT THE -FUCK- DOES -THAT- ABSOLUTE SHITSHOW OF AN EPISODE IMPLY???

Idk, idk...I know I'm biased because I'm a Dan/Brian shipper at heart despite realistically knowing that it would never happen or even be desired in the slightest by either of them, but I also feel like there is something to be said for all of this!!!!!!

I just feel like??? I know that they're not queer, but in an alternate universe, they probably could have been LMFAO

#Btw this is not a complaint I know it was just written to be funny but OH MAN #You can't show Man Down to an autistic person and not expect every single detail to be over-analysed!!!!

@multi-lefaiye said: we can't in good conscience let brian ever have a sex life

I'VE SEEN IT, IT'S EXACTLY AS CRINGE AS YOU'D EXPECT IT TO BE TBH

That moment when you accidentally click the reblog button on a sinday meme, and thank god you were able to hit 'close' instead of 'post now' or you might've actually received responses and tbh?? I can't think of anything I'd rather write less LMFAO

#I can't cope with the pure cringe of having to write that #I think I'd cry out of pure second-hand embarrassment #I'VE ALREADY SEEN -TOO MUCH- OF THIS MAN'S SEX LIFE TO NOT FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE

My Mum finally getting to the end of Man Down: What...? Is that it?? Is there another one??? I DON'T UNDERSTAND!

Me, basically parroting Brian: (explaining the point)

My Mum: :( That's stupid!

Me: Lmao, I know, but that was the point, they meant to leave it that way on purpose. (goes to make a coffee)

Me: (comes back in with the coffee) ...You okay?

My Mum: :( Yeah.

Me: Are you sure??

My Mum: Yeah. :( I don't know what to do now that Man Down is over.

Me: Well, they stopped making it in 2017 so it's been over for a while now. But I know what you mean, I was exactly the same when I got to the end the first time!

My Mum: :( I don't want it to end...

Me: Yeah, but luckily for me, I can make it continue with my roleplays! :'D

My Mum: LOL YEAH, THAT'S TRUE, YOU CAN!!

#IT CARRIES ON IN OUR HEARTS LMFAO <3

I paused at the wrong time LMAO!!

Me and my Mum watching Man Down earlier, as usual: (giggling)

My Dad: Didn't you watch this exact episode just a couple of days ago?

Me: Yes, and??? We're watching it again.

My Dad: How can you still find it funny when you watch them so many times?

Me and my Mum, simultaneously: Go to bed!!!!!!!!!!! >:|

#I'm autistic and she's got memory problems LEAVE US BE LMAO we like our silly show with our silly little characters okay!!!!!!!!#My faves are Brian and Dom while my mum's faves are Dan and Richard and WE'RE BOTH ILL SO LET US ENJOY THEM IN PEACE PLS ASDFGHJKL

I genuinely don't think that Brian could manage half as well as he does without Barbara, no matter how quiet she is and how little we see of her. I think that just having another actually competent adult around really helps him feel just that little bit more sane

Bc come on, with people like Dan and Jo to contend with every day? His two best friends are practically overgrown children and I don't know how he does it

#We're ignoring the drunken advances bc let's be brutally honest he only did that cause of Julia divorcing him :')#Plus it was like a two second thing and then it never happened again so I don't think he has any genuine intentions on her tbh #I LOVE BARBARA FOR SMACKING HIM AWAY THOUGH #I WOULD'VE DONE THE SAME THING LKGDFLKGF /FUCK OFF BRIAN/ NOBODY ASKED FOR YOU #...Except for Patty and Ally but THAT'S IRRELEVANT LMAO

this is it, this is the whole post

I like the idea of Brian going to visit the girls in Scotland and being absolutely horrified upon seeing that his eldest has had all her hair cut off and. It's Very Short <3 <3 <3

He's just. Absolutely seething internally at Julia for having allowed this to happen but he tries to pretend for Lucy's sake that he thinks it looks nice but it's very obviously constrained.

Lucy knows he's upset but she's getting older and she later assures him that this is what she wanted to do and that she's old enough to make her own decisions, and eventually, Brian is just happy to see her happy <3 <3 <3 And that actually??? Her short hair does look kinda nice on her, she just looks...different. She will always be his little girl no matter what she looks like <3

#Just please don't let it be Dan's barber that gets anywhere near her neck with scissors LMAO

It has come to my attention that I am, yet again, hyper-focusing on Brian and am absolutely spamming the dash right now -- so apologies!! :') I will not, however, be stopping <3 Okay thank you

My mother is the only person who can watch Brian romantically washing his car and say with a smile "Aww, he really loves his car! :)"

She is also the only person I know who thinks the bear episode is cute (also she felt bad for Brian afterwards and I??? She does realise they're not...actually gay for each other--)

#I MEAN TO BE FAIR.#I'm as much of a Brian/Dan shipper as the next guy but realistically that is never going to happen LMAO #Also I feel like if Brian was queer in any sort of way he had the perfect opportunity to say something about that in the forest #But he did not and therefore I must VERY reluctantly assume he's straight for the most part at least :')#I do like to imagine him as a very very very repressed bi-curious guy bc he DOES give off SOMETHING???? I can't pinpoint what but IT'S THER

Y'KNOW WHAT, FUCK IT, I'M GONNA TWEET GREG DAVIES LMAO

The fact that Brian has had both "Some people are gay, deal with it!" and "PEDO SCUM!" shouted at him despite not being a homophobe nor a pedophile is endlessly funny to me

#tw; pedophilia mention #I can't imagine being in public and having either of those things shouted at me LMAO I would want to fucking disappear

This promo pic is so funny??????? Why is he crouching down like that and why is his arm just draped over Dan's leg like that LMAO it looks like he's protectively shielding him from Emma??? Who also just looks very uncomfortable standing behind him glkdflkdgfdfl and WHY is he wearing socks and hard shoes with those shorts!!!!!! what is going ON!!!

#WHO DIRECTED THEM TO DO THIS AND WHY #This whole photo looks so fucking unnatural #Nesta looks like she's dissociating LMAO

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