Heavy Dose of Atmosphere

I kind of obsess over things.

[tzikeh]

More examples of the WORST mansplaining here.

[useyourblinker]

This might be my favorite

[lotsofcatsandcheapwine]

This is mine

[stockyardsyndrome]

[shnehollander]

#on god boy we are going to get you on anxiety medication Shane Hollander + Anxiety

[batmanisagatewaydrug-deactivate]

just once I want to see a good post critiquing makeup culture that doesn’t turn out to be made by some janky radfem blog

oh hey!! I’m not a janky radfem I can do it myself!

makeup culture is wack and normalizes a ludicrously high bar as the bare minimum women can do. I saw a “lazy"makeup tutorial the other day that listed 22 separate goddamn products. you’re supposed to buy and know how to use 22 different things on your face just for the privilege of being considered lazy and that’s uuuuuuh what’s the word? bullshit.

Really, five products could work, even 3. Just frame the face, eyes, lips, and you’re done.

0 products also works great

because I’m gonna be real here, the idea that 22 products is a minimum sucks but it’s really upsetting that any amount of makeup is the bare minimum at all

I would really just suggest some powder foundation, concealer, mascara and lipgloss/lipstick, or tbh just mascara works too, but that’s up to you

I’m sorry if I didn’t express this clearly enough in the original post but I’m not really looking for more concise makeup regiments. my intention was to point out how it’s Bad that makeup is considered a bare minimum at all, regardless of individual feelings on the matter

no face should be “required” to have “a minimum” of makeup. makeup has no health benefits and does nothing but fill the pockets of companies that prey on women and our insecurities.

makeup should not be seen as hygiene because it isnt. get that shit out of your head.

this post: makeup culture is ridiculous and 22 products should not be considered a minimum requirement for someones face. no one should have to do that

the notes: so like……. what youre saying is……. we need to make the minimum about 5 or 6 instead… i gotcha

Really the only makeup you need is eyeliner but that’s just my personal opinion

okay

where did we lose you

why are people like this

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

#nobody survived this post

[official-graveyard-posts]

Official graveyard post

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

stop telling people I’m dead

[only-cat-memes]

[coolishfoolishness]

He's lying on the red paint because it has more positive associations than negative ones. C'mon, this is basic color theory

[heyhoneyfox]

This will never not be funny

[mymansmoon]

"I hate you" "no you don't" is a highly common refrain in their relationship, and after they're married the bit gets an upgrade because when person 2 goes "no you don't" they accompany it with a casual flash of the ring on their finger and person 1 melts significantly more than they ever did when they were just boyfriends

[contourkit-deactivated20160224]

What if everything gets better in 2016

[melonisopod]

[tylerposey]

Sorry I'm late.

[shilyas]

condo stairway scene gets me every single time bc of the way ilya lingers. the way he takes way too long to tie his shoes & adjust his jeans, the way he stands for a moment even though his cab is definitely there & the way he teases shane as he slowly lowers himself to give the sweetest, most unhurried kiss goodbye.

[slayerbuffy]

I am tired of defensiveness and weird, mixed signals. Let's just get to the truth here, okay?

Buffy and Spike in Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1997 - 2003).

[firstprinced]

@yearnalisms requested to bring this beautiful text post by @honeyybrii to gif form! all inspo credit to op of the text post! 💜 this tag is especially a good sum up of the set:

#it's genuinely so funny everytime ilya tries to teeheehaha around an insecurity #shane is like actually 🤓👆🏻

[honeyybrii]

shane effortlessly defying ilya's internal self deprecation with the most blunt, heartstopping, to the point sincerity is such an important part of their dynamic to me

"but you know me, i'm lazy, so." "i don't know that side of you at all."

"is that what we are going to do? relax?" "i hope so. i would like to relax with you. for once."

"because you like to be bad." "hey, that's not what this is. you and me. maybe it was at first but, not now, and not for a long time."

to the point where it even usurps other peoples interpretations of ilya before he gets the chance to internalize them -

"but, you hate him." "no. i mean, i get that. but no. i love him."

and ilya has that exact same subtly gobsmacked expression every time he does it

[caralikesgay]

i love every version of shane going to bood's bbq in fics, and it's always so funny when they try to go "just as friends" and cannot keep up the act for the whole night. it's always good and fun and makes sense in the fic, and i always enjoy it, but it's also just funny to see when their whole deal was that they've managed to not tell anyone for a whole decade except for very select circumstances.

it makes me want a 5+1 story with 5 times shane went to a centaurs event as a "friend" of ilya's and the +1 as either him attending as ilya's partner or as a centaur himself.

the first time would be at the end of summer, right after the end of the ottawa summer camp. wyatt asks shane how long he's going to be in town for before he heads back to montreal, and he says it'll be a few more days, and hayes says bood is hosting a pre-season bbq and shane should totally swing by. he's hesitant, but the fact that it's wyatt who invites him and confirms with bood that it's cool vs him clearly tagging along with ilya that makes him risk it.

the boxing day party would probably fall as time 3 or 4? i haven't decided what the others are yet.

but through these 5 parties, shane slowly gets to know the cens and their partners, sees how different the culture is from montreal, gets to know these people ilya talks about for himself, and slowly lets his guard down.

for their part, the centaurs get to know shane as a person better and not just The Shane Hollander™️and they also can't help but notice that their captain, who's always so busy on their days off, is conveniently always available if hollander is also around.

by time 5, most people have figured out that something is going on between them. everyone has pet theories about if it's serious or exclusive or new, but they're trying to tip-toe around it and not let shane or ilya know that they suspect something. it doesn't help that ilya brings anya, and she seems very familiar with shane.

it all comes to a head when wyatt, tipsier than he usually gets at these events, notices that shane is also wearing a chain tucked under his shirt. he puts a hand on shane's shoulder and says "can you just entertain me for a second here?" before hooking a finger under the chain and pulling the rest of the chain and the ring out from where it was tucked away. he looks at the ring close up for a moment before nodding, and saying "that's what i thought." he drops the ring, letting it falls back to shane's chest before saying "thanks buddy," patting him on the shoulder, and moving on like nothing happened. shane is...befuddled, but just shakes his head at his friend and also moves on. he's a little bit panicking, but he's mostly just confused. importantly, he doesn't bother to tuck the ring back into his shirt. a little bit after that, ilya and troy and maybe bood drift over to where shane is, and troy clocks the ring on the chain and says "hey, that ring looks familiar?" and bood agrees, turning to ilya and pulling the exact same move that wyatt did, bringing the chain out of ilya's shirt, showing both the cross and the ring beside it. everyone just stares at the clearly matching rings for a moment before troy says "if you try to claim you got matching friendship rings i'm going to punch you." ilya grins, mock offended, and says "i would never." by this point harris has clocked that something is going on and comes over, taking in the matching rings on display. "holy shit, is this already married or to be--?" he asks. "to be, not yet," ilya confirms. "probably this summer, maybe july," shane says, and it's the first thing he's said in several minutes. after that, for the rest of the night they mostly drop the act. no kissing or outright pda, but they don't really leave each other's sides, and they start bickering half in russian, and they openly refer to anya as theirs (shane refers to her as "our dog" while ilya calls her "our daughter"), and when they leave they don't have to pretend like they aren't leaving together, and they haven't put their rings away again for the rest of the night.

[lavenderprose]

My absolute gospel truth and I'm sorry this is so sappy but--where I'm living, Ilya fully changes his name to Hollander when they get married, like just fully legally changes it. And despite the fact that he continues to use Rozanov professionally ("Just like J. Lo," Ilya says.) everyone who knows them personally obviously knows what Ilya's legal name is and also assume it's a way to kind of stick it to his shitheel father. To this end, and kind of as a joke at first, people start referring to their two-person unit as The Hollanders ("Okay, the Hollanders are in room 508" etc.) but it becomes steadily less and less a joke when neither Shane or Ilya really seems to think of it as one. Ilya especially seems to genuinely love it. He'll say shit like "Oh yes the Hollanders will be there" when asked if they're coming to a barbecue like they live in a postcard. He LOVES to give his name as Ilya Hollander and he LOVES to book reservations under 'Misters Hollander' and he LOVES to say the words 'Shane and Ilya Hollander' out loud with his mouth. I also think that for their last game together in the league Ilya and Shane wear jerseys that say S. Hollander 24 and I. Hollander 81 and it's like. An end of an era type thing. And they frame the jerseys.

[lilylikeswords]

@heatonice I have no self restraint and too much free time. I apologise...

[princessamericachavez]

I’ve read a lot of “Ilya and the Centaurs are protective of Shane during their first game against the Metros” fics, an I LOVE them

but hear me out: Shane ask not to be coddled and Ilya resorts to ragebaiting him on the ice instead.

Ilya makes an offhand comment about keeping an eye on him during their game and Shane jumps because he’s a professional hockey player, has been for over a decade, he can take the heat thank you very much, and when Ilya points out the whole team will be probably coming for him, he’s like:

“Yes, I am the best fucking player in the league. The entire team coming for me is, like, a normal game night for me”

because he is The Shane Hollander and Ilya is kinda proud and very turned on by the sudden cockiness.

Until game night rolls around and ofc some of the team make comments about having Hollander’s back and Ilya has to swear he didn’t put them up to it (Shane won’t admit it but it makes him feel all warm inside, that’s his new team hell yes).

So 1st third he’s taking it like a champ but by the second, after he scores, the hits & chirps keep getting meaner & it’s getting to Shane. At some point he’s struggling to get up & Ilya skates by and says

“You good, Hollander, or do you need me to kiss your boo-boo?” with THAT tone and it makes Shane startle, but he chuckles and tells him to fuck off.

after that Ilya keeps chirping AT HIM, like he did back when they played against each other “no, no, don’t get up, I can score all the goals we need”, “taking nap, Hollander?”, “maybe you need to find softer sport, yes?”

And somehow Shane finds it easier to focus when he’s feeling annoyed and competitive and as usual Ilya is just pushing him to be The Best he can be (everyone else, Metros and Centaurs, is extremely confused by this… except maybe Hayden).

[bandsanitizer]

yuna noticing things that frustrate shane from the tags on his shirt to certain pairs of socks to whenever he’s given certain foods in a bowl. yuna saying, “I have an idea,” before the tears fall or something gets thrown and explaining cutting off the tags or suggesting they flip the socks inside out or grabbing the plate with sections. yuna saying, “I have an idea,” and working with shane to figure out what’s not working, what’s difficult, what can be done, creating a plan. that when shane’s older and sometimes it’s frustration with himself or anxiety, it’s “I have an idea” and yuna and shane are on the ice at 1AM. it’s “I have an idea” and david comes home to a spreadsheet with pivot table ranking college choices based on distance, hockey team, and costs. it’s “I have an idea” and all the curtains are closed, all the lights are off, and yuna is forcing herself to sit as still as possible as shane is curled up in bed rocking himself because shane can’t tell yuna’s what’s wrong and doesn’t want to be touched but it’s too much and he doesn’t want to be alone.

that when ilya calls shane but can’t find the right words in english of course shane says “I have an idea” and listens to ilya speak russian even though he can’t understand because it’s not about him understanding, but ilya feeling better—even just a little bit. that when it seems residing somewhere else permanently, citizenship, is important to ilya and shane doesn’t want him to marry svetlana and it sounds like ilya doesn’t want to marry her either, of course shane thinks of a plan and says “I have an idea” so early in the morning it’s still night and maybe some of it is selfish, there’s so much shane wants with ilya—forever, if he’ll let him—but shane also just wants what ilya wants. and he’ll do anything to make sure ilya knows he doesn’t have to do it alone.

[firstprinced]

1.05 + 1.06