Seventeen as people I’ve met in College
S.Coups: My Shakespeare professor that’s fresh out of grad school, but has quickly become super popular with both students and staff. Makes a lot of dumb dad-level bad jokes, but they’re actually hilarious because he’s the one saying them. Has a comb over even though he’s only thirty. Most anyone who’s ever taken one of his classes would probably take a bullet for him. Super passionate about his work and does everything he can to get his students as excited as he is about literature.
Jeonghan: This ridiculously beautiful art major who always looks shockingly perfect even when she runs in the room ten minutes late with paint smears on her face. She’s completely unreal and belongs in some sort of indie movie. I lowkey thought she didn’t like me for a whole semester until she complimented me on my lipstick one day, and it felt like a blessing from the lord himself.
Joshua: Catholic honors-student girl who seemed very normal at first, only talking about makeup and lacrosse boys for the first few months of our friendship. Turns out she actually reads a lot of One Direction and 5SOS imagines. Can eat a banana without using her hands (it’s terrifying). Gets really excited about Mac and Cheese. She can tell the best stories, and has everyone rolling around on the floor in tears by the end of them.
Jun: Ridiculously ripped even though he’s not an athlete, constantly drowning in girls asking him to sleep with them (which he usually accepts unless he’s writing a big paper or particularly invested in an episode of spongebob). Likes to walk around the dorm building with nothing on but a pair of gym shorts. Kind of a douche but also a really cool guy who will pop your back for you or give you his extra ethernet cord if you ask. His favorite song is Life is a Highway. Yes, the one from Cars.
Hoshi: This girl on the golf team that really loves the moon. Her snapchat story is almost always pictures of the sky. Cried when we got to look through a telescope for astronomy class. I’ve only ever seen her wearing non-athletic clothes a handful of times. Kind of odd, but makes you feel really special and funny when she talks to you.
Wonwoo: The guy that lived next door to me last year who smoked a lot of weed but was otherwise a great neighbor. Wore a lot of big hoodies (the hoodies actually weren’t actually that big, he’s just small). Always late to floor meetings because he was either asleep or in the dining hall. Came off as a badass at first because he talked about the fact that he did car-jousting and had a crazy resting bitch face, but sometimes I could hear him singing show tunes through the walls at night.
Woozi: Girl who was on her debate team in high school, and therefore makes really class discussions scarily intense. Immediately takes over any group project, which is nice because you don’t have to do anything, but at the same time makes you feel very inferior. Pulls all-nighters about twice a week, has an addiction to cheap energy drinks, and is really good at putting on eyeliner. Not so secretly reads a lot of gay fanfiction in her free time.
DK: This one guy who wears an abundance of obnoxious Taylor Swift shirts. His reputation proceeds him and literally everyone on campus knows about “Taylor Swift guy”, but you can never find anyone who actually knows his name. One of his shirts hangs outside his dorm window as a kind of Taylor-pride flag.
Mingyu: Ridiculously tall guy that lived on the floor below mine. Crazy beautiful face (there were some rumors that he modeled when he was younger, but I don’t know if those are true or not) but a kind of cringey personality. Obviously made up stuff for attention sometimes, but other times seemed pretty cool. Wears nothing but white dad sneakers.
The8: Graphic design major that is a literal cinnamon roll; he’s so little and squishy that you just want to protect and love him forever. Really likes adventure time. The longer you get to know him, the more you discover that the innocent squish act is mostly a front, because he’s actually a sarcastic ass with a grindr account.
Vernon: The president of the whole college. Upbeat and cool with the students, even though he’s decades older than all of us. Came from nothing as a child, but now definitely has more than a few dollars. Likes to end speeches with Eminem lyrics. The first time I visited the college he literally dropped the mic at the end of his welcome talk.
Seungkwan: President of the history club who seems like he’d be quiet based solely on his appearance, but is actually ridiculously good at shit talking and telling people when they need to get themselves in check. Sass master. Uses the phrase “cool beans” a lot. Easy to assume that he’s gay, but is actually very VERY into girls, he just doesn’t talk about it much.
Dino: My freshman year roommate. Smol. Undecided major. Can name any and every scooby-doo episode in existence by heart. Once asked me if Hamilton was “that play about George Washington”. Has a Chic-fil-A calendar in her room and genuinely thinks the cows that misspell words are the funniest things ever.
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