I found this in a DM from one of my IG accounts to another. I don't know when I wrote it and I don't know fully what it is but I like it.
Murdoc once asks his father what love was like. It was for a school project. He clutches his chewed pencil and ripped paper and stares at his father through a fresh black eye.
"It's like being so angry that you can taste metal and see red, and you wake up every day just for it."
A few days later, he asks his brother. They were sitting at the mostly empty breakfast table. Murdoc's toast was burnt.
"It's like when you punch a hole in the wall when you're really, really mad, and it solves nothing."
He decides to ask his grandmother a few days after. Her house was big and scary, but there were pictures of his mother hidden in the drawers. His grandmother was cold, but didn't hurt him, so he liked her more.
"It's like when you see fear in someone's eyes, and all you care about is making it stay there."
Murdoc repeats the collection of answers to his teacher and the rest of his class. Everyone else's descriptions are nicer, full of soft words. They sound nothing like his own. His teacher hesitantly asks what Murdoc thinks love is like.
"It's like being shoved to the ground by someone much bigger," he answers. "And getting back up, to be shoved again."
Almost thirty years later, Murdoc sits at a bar with the drummer of the one band that worked out. He's drunk. He leans towards the man and slurrs the question again.
"It's like an epic drum solo, man- fast and loud and fantastic."
Murdoc isn't sure what else he expected, but it doesn't sound right.
The island that he found approaches them. The blue haired singer is silent and terrified. Murdoc turns to the robot he has built to replicate the little girl he misses dearly. He asks again.
Murdoc thinks that may be the most accurate answer yet.
Eventually, he gets the chance to ask the little girl herself, although she isn't so little anymore. They sit in the garden at midnight. She looks at him with eyes full of pity.
"It's like sliding into a warm bath, and wanting to stay forever."
He nods, but that is different to every other answer so far. It only confuses him more.
The blue haired singer is next. They sit opposite each other in the living room. The music is low, the lights are off, and the table is scattered with ash and bottles- beer and pill alike. Murdoc asks slowly.
"It's like, uhm...it's like when you step outside and feel the sun warm you up."
He likes that one. It sounds better than the others, but it still didn't fit. Murdoc nods and the subject is changed.
Years later, he stands in the doorway of the house. His bag is heavy. The girl is already halfway down the hall. He stops in the threshold.
He's cold. Prison has broken him. His wrinkles seem deeper. His eyes are rimmed with red.
The group are in front of him.
Despite all this, Murdoc smiles.
'Love is like coming home,' he decides.
gracieabrams
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