Tech Haven

Hello world! Here you will find a great obsession with Pritchard, Jensard, Astarion, some nerding around Deus Ex and Baldurs Gate 3 and other things I find interesting. Untagged spoilers ahead! Pfp courtesy of the amazing @olgsecond :)

[olgsecond]

Merry Christmas, @peppercupcake!

Pritchard teaches Adam to make dough (was inspired by your fic). They are cooking Christmas dinner. Just something nice :)

Wish you all good and much happiness!

[peppercupcake]

Merry Christmas!! 🎄

Awww!! Your art is so lovely and it always inspires me more.

Thank you so much for the gift and for your support ❤️❤️

[boycritter]

maybe i like my tech a little bit inconvenient

[boycritter]

maybe i like pulling out my debit card instead of using apple pay. maybe i like untangling my wired headphones. maybe i like typing something into the search bar instead of using siri or whatever. maybe i like curating my own social media feeds over an algorithm. i just don’t think everything has to be perfectly streamlined and efficient i like it when things feel tethered to the real world.

[peppercupcake]

I can't agree more. Not only I think tech is way too convenient now, I firmly believe we are past the threshold of 'help' and taking a deep dive into 'harm'.

AI aside because we all know what it is at this point, there are other things running rampant that have different flavours of annoyance.

What do you mean I can't buy a toner cartridge replacement for my printer? Oh, it's because the toner cartridge has a specific chip attached that makes contact with the printer and it signals it is 'original' and 'valid'. It serves any other function other than force you to spend extra money or be a point where the printer can break easily? NO. HP I hope you burn in hell with your shitty laptops and stupid hinges that break easily.

Let's not open the can of worms that's the QR invasion.

Oh, you can't hand me a menu in the restaurant? I have to fish my phone in the middle of the diner, scan the damn code and... Oh, I don't have data down here. Nevermind, after what it felt like 4h I finally managed to see it, just to be in the stupidest format ever and I have to spend dinner time to look into the damn pdf.

Why is everything 'smart' now? I like my tech simple and stupid so if it breaks I can easily fix it myself. And it doesn't cost a kidney to buy a replacement.

Why is my fan needing an app to work? Why everything requires an app and an account?? I don't want to put my email to download the damn drivers for my graphics card. What are we doing nvidia??

Why is the entirety of internet useless now? Search engines used to be helpful, you would type your request and they will show you the websites you will find most useful to less useful. Now are you telling me that anyone can pay so their shitty website/product will stay on top and hinder my research? Google, this is the lesser of your crimes.

What's with the damn ads? You can't use a browser without an adbock now?

What do you mean my own OS is forcing me into features I specifically didn't want and I have to go to s lot of trouble to disable them? Windows, you fucker. I never liked you, but you have gone too far now.

Why does my washing machine have a LCD panel? What's wrong with my old wheel and buttons?

Everything is made out of cheap plastic and sold like it's gold. Fuck this shit.

Why I am forced to buy stupid Bluetooth headphones that are shit and have a battery when my old cable-jack headphones are cheap and work like a dream. Oh yeah, is so manufacturers could save .01 cent removing the jack port and making their phones .2mm slimmer. Fuck you apple that started this trend, I hope you get fined out of existence.

And apple what's up with the chip inside your screens? It's so I can't go to a cheap store to change it and I am forced through your extortionate prices? You used to be cool, now I hate you too.

I'm going back to my corner now with my tinfoil hat, but I still think I'm right.

[olgsecond]

For @peppercupcake's birthday this year :)

Jensard moving in together in Hengsha

Love you, happy Birthday!

[peppercupcake]

Thank you very much!! Best birthday gift :)

Love you too <3

[olgsecond]

for @peppercupcake and their fic

I wanted some comfort after all the hurt, coudn't wait untill next chapter :)

[peppercupcake]

I'm so happy I inspired you to draw some art :) Thank you for sharing, I love it! <3

Comfort is coming!

[codeword-art]

This is going to be longwinded BUT,

I have such mixed feelings about Hans' romance scene, and not because it isn't a beautifully written masterpiece of a romance, but because it's so complex in its execution I can't decide how to interpret it.

What makes the romance so beautiful is the fact that Henry and Hans feel intimate in all areas of their relationship. Not just physically, though they are very comfortable with each other in that aspect as well. Hans opens up about his fear and anxieties to Henry. About his nobility, the war, Hanush, his birthright, and even his hesitancy towards killing or torture, which would traditionally emasculate him. However, Hans knows Henry won't unfairly judge him. Just as Hans didn't unfairly judge Henry when he opened up about his own trauma and fears.

Henry fulfills that need in Hans to be recognized and loved for simply being who he is. Not for who others want him to be. Henry provides Hans a friendship not bound by titles or wealth. One where honesty and loyalty thrive. Hans can trust Henry, not because he's being paid or fears his power, but because Henry loves him.

Hans fulfills Henry's need for levity and attention. To be able to laugh and joke, act childishly, and grasp a piece of him that nearly burned back in Skalitz. Hans is what keeps Henry himself. The kind, goofy, and loving man he's always been, that could have very quickly died if it wasn't for Hans melting through Henry's frozen ice walls like the damn sun.

Then somewhere along the way Hans realizes their relationship could be more. Hans doesn't just love Henry; he's in love with Henry. Sadly, we don't get to see this turmoil in Hans personally, but we do get to see a small glimpse of it in Henry. I think it's obvious that the romantic dialogue choices for Hans aren't about being flirty or seductive. It's about giving Hans the confidence to confess his feelings to Henry when the time is right. Henry confirms that yes, he does care for Hans beyond duty, and he wants the best for Hans, and he likes Hans more than he knows.

Apparently even more than Henry knew either. I don't personally believe Henry was aware of his growing romantic feelings towards Hans. Which is why he reacts so poorly at first when Hans kisses him. Henry isn't as in tune with his own emotions as Hans is. Though he isn't perfect, Hans proves himself to be pretty emotionally intelligent, especially against Henry. Henry doesn't mull over his thoughts, because it can quickly go somewhere very deep and traumatic. Henry keeps himself busy on purpose, unlike Hans who is accustomed to long bouts of isolation and self-reflection.

So, when Hans boldly bridges that gap for Henry, Henry doesn't know what to do. At first, he seems enthusiastically receptive. Like his body and heart reacted first, but then when his brain catches up Henry pushes Hans away.

I mean honestly, think about your best friend suddenly kissing you. How would you feel? What would you think? Is it a cruel joke or are they serious? Does fear have them acting irrationally, or have they always wanted to do that?

You can literally see those gears rotating in Henry's head at his not-so-subtle furrowed brows and grimace. Then something in Henry changes. Henry looks back at Hans with a look of realization. A possible, yes, you can have this. Yes, you do feel the same and always have. Then Henry locks in, heads back, and its history from there.

I adore the complexity of the scene because its leaves so much open to interpretation. Like a painting. Is it religious guilt that causes Henry to hesitate, was it his convictions towards nobles? Didn't he realize he was in love, or was he completely unaware until that very moment?

My assessment of the scene could be entirely different from someone's else's and that's fantastic! It works because the foundation of their relationship is already strong, loving, and known. We already know how much they care about one another. So, the subtleties of their relationship changing can be left up to the audience to decide. It's a very fine line to walk, and it's not easy to pull off, but Warhorse and the actors managed to do just that.

The complexities of the relationship make it feel real, and that's what makes it so beautiful.

[peppercupcake]

Not cool man

[kcdarchives]

so i've been doing some thinking on the opening section of kcd2 and hans. sorry huuuuuge analysis text post incoming

thinking soooooo much about hans dragging a delirious and distraught henry through the woods at night and trying his best to reassure him. like, henry is probably not carrying a ton of his own weight while he's walking here, probably made even worse with him looking around and reacting wildly to the various hallucinations he's seeing around. and despite this, hans with all his strength manages to drag henry to bozhena's hut, and then overcomes some incredible odds to beat a man wielding a sword with just his fists. not only would this be really hard in actual real life, if you have played the game, you know beating a guy with a sword with only your fists and no armor is also like. an incredible feat. it's insane. (i do remember hans saying something about the guy taking a bad fall and hitting his head or something like that, which helped, but STILL) hans did something which, as a player, I think is almost impossible and he did it to save henry. but he still ends up really injured, which is to be expected in that kind of scenario because that's what would happen to literally anyone including henry. but hans is bedridden with fever, and he eventually wakes up just to find that once again, henry has saved the day by getting the stuff for his medicine and fending off some more of those outlaws that attacked their camp. hans expended so much energy and effort trying to save henry and he DID, but for him, it seems like at the end of the day, henry ended up having to clean up after the mess he made. i think this is a feeling hans really starts incubating at this moment.

when he is rejected at the gates of trosky and all his noble manners and bearing get him nothing but a bucket of shit splashed onto his head, this is when he really starts to mentally freak out. they came here for ONE thing and they can't do it. there's no solution in sight.

when they go down to the tavern, my little headcanon is that part of the reason hans refused to help carry sacks is because he was still sore from hauling henry's heavy ass through the forest and also from being cut up by a sword but he has too much pride to admit this to henry, especially since henry seems to have no issue with it even after receiving a recent arrow to his shoulder/back. henry's working to bail them out of another mess with the tavern tab and hans can't even contribute. i think leaning on his status as noble is a good excuse, and also a great way of convincing himself, especially after the rejection at the gates of trosky. hans probably feels like he doesn't really have much going for him, besides his status as a noble. he doesn't even have control over his own inheritance right now, it's in the care of his guardian, hanush. when he's lecturing henry on the divine order, he's also trying to remind himself of his own status and worth. for us as henry and the player, it's frustrating. "why can't this guy just carry some sacks like the rest of us?" but for hans, he NEEDS to cling to this distinction in this moment. if he's not a noble, if he's just like everyone else, then does he really have anything? if he's too sore to actually help carry the sacks, then he really IS useless. he insists on henry treating him like a noble, because he knows literally NO ONE else around him will. and his title as a noble is worthless if no one actually treats him like a noble. and henry, eventually, relents because he's henry and perhaps can sense something in hans during this discussion.

later on, we can see that it's a few things pushing hans over the edge when he gets into the fight with that guy. the argument really starts with the guy saying "its those guys' own fault that they got killed for camping out in the open by the pond" because I just KNOW that was like a stab in the heart for hans. these were guys he knew for years and trusted to lead them, and the idea that it was his decision that got them all killed must eat him up inside. it's a kneejerk reaction to argue back, only for the guy to follow up with doubting his identity. having his status doubted not only hurts his pride, but its especially because it's that lack of belief in his identity that caused them to be turned away at the gates of trosky. when the guy tauntingly parrots his title back at him, it's just another reminder of the mockery at trosky castle, of his noble status being worthless in this moment when no on believes him. that's when he throws the first punch. and once again, henry ends up getting dragged into it when the brawl breaks out.

when the two of them land in the stocks, hans' frustration is through the roof. when he and henry fight, hans is upset that henry joined in the fight not because he felt like henry overreacted or that its really henry's fault somehow, but because it feels like henry was bailing him out of yet another mess. hans is wrestling with the idea that it's his own fault that they're in this situation. not just the fight at the tavern, but also the attack by the outlaws, and maybe even the rejection of the gates at trosky. was he lacking in some way? if he had conducted himself differently, said something else, would the guards have believed him? hans pushes henry away not because he truly feels like its henry's fault, but because he feels like he needs time away from him. hans needs to prove to himself that he's capable, that he doesn't need henry to achieve something and that he's not a failure. he's literally been sent on this task by hanush, and whether it's a test by his uncle or a sign of trust, he doesn't want to fail. and from a player standpoint and henry's as well, when you don't really understand what's going through hans' mind as he spits unwarranted vitriol in a moment of frustration, it truly does feel like "hey, at least some of this IS his fault? he's yelling at me for helping out in a fight HE started?" when even the player/henry feels this way, there's no doubt that hans is the person struggling the most with guilt and anger directed at himself.

when he leaves, you accept it. if he's going to be so stubborn and emotional for reasons that henry can't understand BECAUSE he doesn't bear the same expectations and pressure of status that hans is under, then fine. there's a little bit of a feeling of relief in that moment when henry separates from hans. hans was putting himself under a LOT of pressure, and in turn, a lot of that pressure was spilling over to henry as well. of course henry is still going to do the task they set out to do, but there's a palpable feeling of FREEDOM when you separate from hans here, because you're no longer chained under the expectations and restrictions of a noble's status that hans is constantly tied down by, even if some of it is self-imposed by his own need to prove himself as a worthy noble.

if henry runs into hans at his camp before the semine wedding, you can see hans in his element. he's much happier and more confident, feeling like he's found some measure of success here. he's hunting, something he's GOOD at, something special he's allowed to do because of his noble status (even if no one in this region recognizes it). i love that when he speaks, it's obvious that he had no intention of truly leaving henry behind. if hans succeeded in getting into the wedding and delivering his message, he would have found henry again, and proudly announced his accomplishments to him.

i think the things that make henry and hans' relationship so compelling is the complexity that arises from this constant wrestling with status and expectation. the main driver of the plot in kcd2 is hans, and his desire to prove himself. to his uncle, to henry, and maybe most of all, to himself. he's constantly pushing himself, and he's met with hardship at every turn, but he has both an impressive amount of perseverance (and perhaps also an incredible stubborn streak). henry, loyal and true, helps him throughout all of this. yes, henry is constantly getting hans out of messes, and hans has realized this early on. he struggles with it so much, not just because it makes him feel helpless or useless, but because he's stuck in a constant cycle of trying to prove himself, only to face some sort of setback where henry once again comes to his rescue. when hans is told that he's getting married, he doesn't raise as much of a fuss as we know he's capable of, because it's something he knows he needs to accept if he truly wants to meet the expectation of both his uncle and the other nobles around him. as a noble, an identity we know he places a lot of value it, this is the kind of thing they do. but it's still something he doesn't feel good about. whatever feelings he may have for henry aside, the small amount of freedom he previously had is getting restricted even further by this social contract of marriage. so much of hans character struggle is wanting to prove himself as a worthy noble, yet desiring the sort of freedom that he sees henry enjoying and wishing he could have both.

meanwhile, henry is hugely important in his life not just because he helps him out all the time, but because Henry doesn't have the same kinds of expectations and ideas about him that everyone else does. Henry, growing up as a peasant in a village and mostly having little contact with nobles up until the events of kcd1, really only knows the broad general knowledge about nobles that most other people do. with hans, someone he's grown to spend a lot of time with and seen many of his best and worst moments, he treats hans simply as the person as he is, first and foremost. he respects hans as a noble because he knows hans cares a lot about it but he doesn't let that create a sense of distance between them. henry's always very good about referring to him has sir hans and lord capon when talking to other people, but he most often just addresses him as "hans" when speaking to him. hans has never had someone like this around his own age, surrounded by servants and fellow nobles who were very cognizant of his noble status. henry, not a noble himself, doesn't place these heavy or strict expectations on hans, and he develops a caring and genuine relationship with him with little regard for their difference in status. i think a huge part of their relationship development lies in hans growing to accept henry's help as just being something that's a result of their strong relationship, and not an indicator of his own personal failings. henry is an anchor for him and often (if the player chooses to) touts hans' positive traits and capability, reassuring hans of his own worth.

in the romance culmination scene, hans' struggle with not being able to help henry is made more complex by the fact that the reason he can't help is BECAUSE he's a noble. when you recall hans' early refusal to carry sacks with his nobility as an excuse, you can really see the development of their relationship and hans' understanding of his own status as a noble as not only a privilege but a restriction.

when henry and hans talk after the siege of suchdol, it's really interesting to see this sort of...acceptance of everything. hans' status is something the two of them have always been aware of, but they developed a relationship regardless. a wedding is completely in line with what is expected of hans as a noble, so it's not unexpected, nor would it invalidate the bond hans and henry have built up over the course of the two games.

for hans, henry is a person with whom he can be honest, show vulnerability, and find moments of freedom with when he's finding he increasingly has less and less. and for henry, hans is someone who lets him have access to a world that would normally be untouchable for him. yes, he's a noble's bastard son, but it's his association with hans that's let him be in all these places where he normally would never be allowed to go, like trosky castle, noble meetings, wartime discussions. he's treated with so much more authority than he would usually have as a peasant not just because he's capable, but because hans is there to vouch for him (almost) every step of the way. hans has helped to give henry real power to avenge his village and family by taking henry with him, but (and i could be wrong, i only played kcd2) i can't think of a single time when hans has ever held this over henry's head. and while he might jokingly complain about henry talking about it all the time (when they do a tiny bit of catch-up exposition during the opening pond camp conversation), hans has only shown unconditional support for henry during the moments when it seriously comes up. hans takes henry's loss seriously, even if it's not something he can personally relate to with his relatively cushy noble upbringing and not having lost anyone in his life who he was close to in the way henry was with his parents.

anyways this sort of turned into an essay when i did not intend it to be, but anyways i hope this conveys why i find hans to be such an interesting and compelling character and why i find his relationship with henry to be so interesting.

[peppercupcake]

I LOVE every single point you touched. I really didn't put much thought into Hans' attitude at the beginning (specially because I played kcd1 so I just thought Hans was being… well… Hans haha) but now I think you are right.

Hans really does a 180 from the start of kcd1 to the end of kcd2 and it's really interesting to witness it through Henry's perspective.

I feel that a huge part Herny gets 'special treatment' (as a lack of a better word) in the nobility because Hans and Radzig vouch for him. And also because he is willing to do the dirty work that nobility doesn't want to do.

Hans jokingly teases Henry about it, but when it really matters Hans is always there to back Henry up. The scene when they see Istvan for the first time when they were in prison? Chef's kiss.

You mention that you haven't watched/played kcd1 and if you doing it will bring another fantastic analysis, I'm already excited :)

[lordgeneralsix]

more kcd2 out of context

[peppercupcake]

I wanted to add a couple of my screenshots too :) Despite the darkness of the main plot, KCD2 made me laugh way too much.

[audentesfortunaiuvatt]

Thinking about how Hans wants so badly to save Henry, as if he hasn’t done it numerous times, as if he’s in some kind of debt rather than the silent agreement they do have- to save each other over and over, no matter what.

Thinking about how most of the times when Henry saves Hans it’s a premeditated move, requiring planning, skill, smart thinking. How Henry’s efforts are often visible to Hans, how cared for they make him feel, while simultaneously making him feel like a liability. Hans is supposed to be proving himself, and once again, he’s being rescued by Henry in some kind of spectacle. It also doesn’t help that a lot of these efforts paint Henry in a knightly, heroic light. The chivalrous final stand vs Zizka, rescuing him from the castle where he’s being held, untying him from an enemy encampment, pausing an execution before a crowd of people with evidence of Hans’ nobility. They’re big events, and they have time to settle upon Hans. To make each one of them really felt.

Conversely, Hans often saves Henry in the heat of the moment. I think this says so much about Hans and where his priorities lay, how he saves Henry as if by instinct, how he continually binds their fates together. But because of the nature of these events, he often doesn’t have time to dwell on them, to see them for the incredibly brave decisions they are. In the woods at the Nebakov ambush AND the prologue ambush, Hans stays by Henry’s side, pulls him to safety even at risk to his own life. He gets seriously injured for Henry at Bozhena’s home, it’s such a heroic move, but in getting injured himself there’s nothing to be gained, no witnesses beyond outcasts.

Not that this necessarily matters to them. They both save each other because of the deep care they hold for each other. But the risks to Henry’s life are far greater- Hans is a ransom target, but Henry wouldn’t be granted such mercy. Hans has to act fast to save him, and he does! He does exactly what he needs to do to keep Henry alive, just as heroic and brave as Henry, but without the recognition, even on a personal level. He doesn’t know just how much he does for Henry.

[ithinkthiswasabadidea]

[peppercupcake]

Markvart Von Aulitz final speech: How a war criminal made me reflect on my hypocrisy.

(Major spoilers for the ending of Kingdom Come Deliverance 2 ahead).

The final speech from Markvart Von Aulitz is a masterpiece from start to finish. It made me rethink the entire game and my own choices. Both in the game and in my life.

Expecting a Villain, Meeting a Man.

I went into that final confrontation fully expecting Markvart to be the irredeemable villain I had built him up to be in my mind. I wanted him to be cold, remorseless, and cruel. A man who would say "Who the fuck are you? I killed so many people it doesn't affect me anymore". I was dead set on killing him without giving a second thought, to finally avenge Henry’s parents and give him the closure he deserved.

From the very beginning he recognizes Henry as “that little boy who run from us”, and he remembers Henry’s father too. He knows exactly why Henry is there, and isn’t afraid. Instead, he delivers an incredible speech that left me as baffled as Henry.

“I remember everyone I killed. It’s not an everyday thing. Don’t you?”

To be honest, that line made me pause the game for a few seconds. Markvart mirrored Henry's own burdens: duty, guilt and the carnage of war.

Markvart forces Henry, and the player, to confront an uncomfortable truth:

“Are you sure you didn’t kill someone’s father or mother?”

This isn’t a villain’s taunt, it’s the game weaponizing your own playthrough against you. As much as I hated him in the first game, I ended up respecting the guy that murdered an entire village and gave Henry PTSD. At the very least he doesn't double cross you like any other major villan in the series.

The Slippery Slope of “Righteous” Violence.

Markvart’s speech calls out Henry on the hypocrisy of his actions. He fought for his king, just as Henry fought for his. And in the end, Markvart even apologizes for killing Henry’s family.

Maybe those where the words of a dying man looking for forgiveness, but I believed him.

The main themes of the game are revenge, guilt, honor and violence. Henry is haunted by flashbacks of Skalitz, driven by anger and a desire for justice and, more often than not, that guides your hand into a path that wasn’t always honorable. I know it guided mine.

The Uncomfortable Parallels: Henry vs. Markvart.

Markvart’s speech works because he’s right. Henry spends the game:

Avenging his parents by orphanizing others.

Condemning Sigismund’s brutality while torching Prague’s soldiers.

Judging Istvan’s cruelty then adopting his methods.

Henry becomes the monster he hates. Istvan tortured him physically and Henry tortures himself in his nightmares, drowning in guilt yet perpetuating the cycle.

The Flawed Morality of Mercy.

In the end, Markvart apologizes for killing your family. He fought for what he believed in, the same way you did. I spared Markvart, but the game refuses to romanticize mercy: Letting him live doesn’t erase what happened in Skalitz.

And here is where the genius of dual endings shine:

Spare Him: Markvart talks about his family and friends. No triumph, just two broken men in a field. You left him to die agonizing of his own wounds.

Kill Him: He requests an honorable death, guiding your dagger into his own ribs. The way he talks made me believe that he doesn't want you to spare him.

Neither choice “wins.” Both force you to confront war’s fundamental truth: there are no heroes here, only survivors.

I really like how the person that calls out Henry and the player is a villain. And not a regular villain. THE villain from the first game.

Markvart is Henry’s reflection. A soldier who sees the blood on his hands and refuses to look away. Their differences? Markvart stopped lying to himself.

[peppercupcake]

Are we the baddies? How Kingdom Come Deliverance 2 makes you complicit in war’s atrocities.

Fair warning: there will be mayor spoilers ahead.

The game really does an incredible job of desensitizing you to violence and to gradually normalizing moral decay. Very early in the game, killing feels very heavy. Henry doesn't have proper gear or technique and engaging in battle can get you killed incredibly fast, forcing you to lose a lot of progress since your last save. He doesn't really have a reason to engage in violence either. His main enemies will be bandits or, if you choose to take the crime route, guards.

If you kill an entire fortress in the main mission just to rescue one noble, what difference does it make one person more that casually was walking around the forest and caught Henry poaching?

By act III you are acting as a spy, infiltrating into the enemy forces and slaughtering entire garrisons without any remorse, rationalizing it as 'the greater good'. Sure, there are moments where the player can choose to be more merciful and you can be honorable, but inevitably the missions will force your hand into killing the enemy in brutal ways.

Sigismund went way too far, sure. But Wenceslas side wasn't innocent either.

The very first mission in the game is a couple of minutes of the last one. You see at least a dozen soldiers trapped and being burned alive, your main objectives are picking up stones and throw them in soldier's heads, dismantle stairs and shoot arrows. And when you are completely horrified by this, the mission ends abruptly and the game starts with Henry and Capon casually riding into a beautiful landscape, joking and teasing each other about a message they have to deliver.

The painful parallel with the first game.

Throughout the entire game I was constantly questioning if I was fighting for the wrong side. Even Henry draws a conversation into this topic almost at the very end with Capon.

"This reminds me of Talmberg. It's not long since we besieged it". "Yeah, but now the boot’s on the other foot."

In the previous game you have to use a trebuchet to destroy the walls of the Talmberg castle to force the usurpers out. And now, you are inside a different castle, running away from a very similar trebuchet shot.

But maybe that's a topic for another post.

My Henry's journey.

Istvan Toth’s execution: Henry killed Istvan Toth in a dishonorable way. I was driven mainly by rage and gameplay frustration. Istvan had brutally tortured him, and dropped Henry’s stats to the point he couldn’t wield a sword properly in an honorable combat.

My options were:

Replay the same combat a thousand times until I could finish off Istvan.

Replay the most tedious mission ever designed from the start losing hours of progress to try to be less tortured.

Finish it right there in a dishonorable way.

Sure as hell Toth didn't deserve the inconvenience. And I thought Henry needed that to finally find peace and quiet down his nightmares.

But it didn’t bring him peace, it only pushed him deeper into his plot of revenge and guilt. That was the point all along.

Taunting Erik: I listened to Zizka’s advice into using psychological warfare, reopening old wounds to gain an edge I thought I'd need. At the time, I thought Zizka was being clever. But in hindsight, it was manipulative and cruel.

Killing Bravant: This was made out of distrust after his betrayal, not because I wanted revenge per se. Letting him live after he saw Henry infiltrating the enemy camp was a stupid risk and, in my mind, he wasn't worth it.

The brilliance? These choices aren’t framed as “good vs. evil.” They’re presented as survival.

Where the Game Stumbles.

My only complaint comes with the very ending, when Henry is talking to the hallucination of his parents. It dipped too much into a black and white thinking of killing = bad, sparing lives = good. With innocents I can see the vision, but with the rest is not that simple. It clashes with the beautifully grey morality written everywhere in the story. I would have loved to have the option to explain to them why I did what I did, but of course implementing this in the game might be nearly impossible. Every person that plays can have a different reason.

But maybe that’s the point. It’s not the game or the player judging Henry, but Henry judging himself. The conversation might very well be a conversation between Henry after the war, reflecting on the horrors he forced onto others VS Henry before the burning of Skalitz, just an innocent blacksmith that idealized adventure, knights and, fighting with a sword to protect innocents.

Final Thoughts.

Kingdom Come Deliverance 2 isn’t about choosing sides. It’s about realizing there are no sides. There are only people, clinging to duty or rage to justify their crimes.

I will replay it, not to "fix" my choices, but to sit with the discomfort of them. The game really does an incredible good job representing PTSD flashbacks and nightmares, it is refreshing to see.

War is indeed a nasty business.

[olgsecond]

Christmas gift for lovely @peppercupcake. Jensard as always :)

Merry Christmas! Wish you all good and happy!

[peppercupcake]

Merry Christmas!

Thank you so much for your gift!! It's amazing and left me smiling :) I'm so happy ♥️

[peppercupcake]

Spoiled food and copious amounts of alcohol. Tonight we eat like kings.

[peppercupcake]

I started a new run. Now that I know when and how some dialogue will show up, my new favorite past time was to make Astarion sweat.

The man is NOT discreet at all.

Not even near Wyll.

Bonus: Wyll messing with Astarion.

[imperatoralicia]

This is the hat that I make my Baldur's Gate 3 friends wear when they're mean to me...

...The hat gets a lot of use.

[peppercupcake]

Astarion and trauma: Approval and moral compass.

I'm jumping into the Astarion train. I want to give my two cents using my playthrough and what I saw in the fandom as references.

I feel like a lot of his character is lost under so much misunderstanding, probably because he shows the history of a “less mainstream” victim of abuse. Which, in my personal case, and I bet in many others, hit the nail on the head.

I truly believe that Larian got some mental health professionals to help write him. It feels way too real.

The whole big argument around him saying that he’s evil and that he disapproves of a lot of good actions, is a trauma response. One that maybe not a lot of people are familiar with. Maybe because it's hard to find accurate representation in media.

Buckle up! This is going to be very long.

Pointing into a more "evil" playthough will make him like you quicker. Why in quotes? Well...

Let's start with what gains his approval.

He highly values loyalty and support. He values it so much so that it’s totally possible do a “good” run, have 100 approval and still romance him. (I could do it, at least). Baldur's Gate 3 is based in D&D 5e universe, so taking a quick look at the dnd lore we can see that Vampire Spawn are monsters indeed.

But Astarion clearly doesn't want to be seen that way. You can get an incredible amount of approval every time you support him and treat him as a person instead of a monster. Specially when you find out/he tells you about his vampirism.

C'mon, he's asking for less than the bare minimum here.

He approves greatly when you respect his limits and you don't push him towards things he doesn't want. This is such an important thing for him that failing to do it just once will terminate the romance immediately.

I can (and I will) write an entire post about this topic. For example, you can gain quite a few brownie points if you stand up for him when you are with the drow in Moonrise towers.

He is the only member of the party that (from the get-go) is open to continue to use the tadpole's powers and approves its use. No persuasion needed. Keep in mind that the tadpole is the thing that nullified all of his weaknesses, severed his link with Cazador and is allowing him to live a more 'normal' life. Looking at DnD lore again:

(Although he is still vulnerable to the stake to the heart if the player kills him this way, though).

He also likes cats. You can gain a couple of points if you talk or pet them. I found it so silly. Have your potions ready if you can't talk with animals.

The last important character trait about him is that a lot of the things he does/says are just for the fun of it, or to see what happens. As long as is funny, he doesn't really care much about the rest. You can get some approval just by fucking around and finding out. This is why he's so hilarious all the time.

Now to the things he disapproves.

He clearly dislikes playing the hero and he'll disapprove helping people, specially if you are going out of your way to do so. He can approve it if you try to gain something from the good deed. For example, asking for payment in advance before accepting a mission. His reaction is just plain ol' jealousy. Why should I help others when nobody gives a rat's ass about me?

After knowing his whole backstory and how Cazador is hunting him down, can you really blame him for wanting to put himself first?

If I was tortured and slaved away for 200 years, I also will harbor quite a resentment towards everyone and want to be left alone with my misery.

So what's the conclusion?

Victims of abuse aren't "perfect" once they get out of the toxic environment.

At the start of the story he doesn't know better. Can he be a jackass or evil at some points? Absolutely! That's all he knows.

You, as a player, can change that. Show him that life can be more than that and help him heal from his toxic tendencies or enable him while he becomes his abuser. But that's a topic for another post.

Help or break, the choice is yours!

[thycatisshy]

Literally this.

This is something I have noticed in myself after years of having depression. I get annoyed at people for even suggesting to just be happy and that there's a lot to look forward to in life and shit. Like, I get people aren't saying this to be mean, but it feels shit and I get annoyed and angry.

Why do you get to be happy and I don't? Why did you get to beat depression and I didn't?

So his attitude towards things is awfully understandable to me.

I probably wouldn't hold it against him even if he did end up just using me and turning away from me. Because I get it. He needs his safety. I'd be hurt, but I wouldn't be able to hold it against him. I'd just be sad I couldn't help more.

His ways of survival via building attachment with Tav feel so much like how I just cover up my Depressive thoughts when talking to someone.

Like, sure, it's "fake" but it's what keeps me safe from people and sure saves me from disassociating in the middle of someone lecturing me about all the good things in life. Hell, I can feel my mind slipping away now just thinking about it.

But back to Astarion.

He's built up strategies and habits to keep himself safe and alive. To not be completely destroyed from outside and inside, whether he knows it or not.

He certainly has an epiphany of sorts realising that he's still acting as though he's under Cazador's rule after the incident in the Moonrise towers.

Astarion needs time to figure things out and understand. You can't just go back to the regular way of thinking when you have been "taught" to think differently.

It's also incredibly uncomfortable to face things you aren't used to. Especially if they never worked for you.

Gosh, if I was in a party with someone and they tried convincing someone that life is a joy and worth living, rainbows and cotton candy! I'd disapprove. 100%. And be called crap by the people who wouldn't get my character as well.

(That's also probably why so many of us feel so strongly about people being shitheads about Astarion. Because they don't care enough to even try to understand, which, sadly, is often what it's like in real life as well.)