the past lingers

persephone harris. 25. graffiti artist.

[thalia-reynolds]

Thalia had pride – one could say a lot of it.  She made sure no one could see through her cracks, no one could ever accuse her of anything she didn’t allow them to see. The problem now was there were no longer billions of people on the Earth. For all Thalia knew, her, Percy, and the others in the museum were the last humans standing. She had no idea why she was one of the few to make it, though that was the least of her problems. She could consider those odds when she was at peace, when the zombies were eradicated, cured, or eaten her. The latter image she wasn’t particularly fond of. The only reason why she kept it close to the surface of her mind was because that was the likely probability. They were all going to die sooner or later and Thalia could let go of the vice grip on her defenses for Percy.  Better to go out with a friend than alone.

It would be beyond foolish to hold onto the past, to believe it held the same power as it did before. The past could either make someone or break them and Thalia couldn’t allow herself to succumb to any demon when there were hundreds outside. Did she forgive Percy? Not entirely. The bitter part of herself wanted to turn away and let silence be her answer. The rest of her chanted: F-o-r-g-i-v-e.

If this failed, Thalia probably wouldn’t bother trying again. But they were at the beginning of some kind of start. Thalia would cast aside her pessimistic nature for this rare instance. As Percy’s fingers squeezed hers, a small smile emerged on Thalia’s lips. “Persephone? Like the Goddess? I like it.” With her free hand, Thalia gestured down the hall. “Would Persephone the Goddess like to get something to eat because I am fucking starved?”

[percyharris-blog]

"Nothing like the goddess," she managed to reply back with a stumble over her words at the other's sense of humor that flickered back into place as if it'd been there the whole time. Percy couldn't help the way her chest felt lighter, wanting to believe that they could go back in time and reverse all the damage that she'd inflicted on the both of them. She knew that it was too good to be true, waiting for the other shoe to drop or the other to demand an explanation but for a moment, she could hold the other's hand without fliching that she'd cause Thalia more harm than good, again. "Just Percy, my friends call me Percy."

At least they had once, now it was all anyone knew about her other than the sticky fingers that'd gotten her in the good graces of one other and the doghouse with plenty of others around the camp since the first day they'd dropped in there. Where she lay in Thalia's eyes, that much she didn't know seeing as she'd been avoiding them the entire time until now as they sparked with a sense of kindness that Percy had been terrible at accepting as she let Thalia take the lead down the hall towards food. "Do you know a good place around here?" Her own flicker of humor rose up to greet Thalia's, reminiscent of the time they'd spent together as she forced herself to hold onto that hope before it slipped through her fingers once again.

[optimistv]

      It was so      o  b  v  i  o  u  s  .

Percy flinched back almost as if her words had slapped her. She stood there, tucking into herself. The words that slipped past her cracked lips contradicted everything. She didn’t want to talk. Okay, she could work with that. She could build from that somehow. Percy still gave Emma what she wanted. She gave her something to grasp on. The time she was away was damaging. It was a dark shadow cloaked over her memories. She didn’t want to cause her friend any pain. (Could she still call her a friend?) She wasn’t trying to get back at her, but maybe it was coming off that way. The guilt poured from her skin and lathered the air between them.

“Why couldn’t you stay?” She asked, words peeling out as innocent as one could make them. She was digging in to the pen sized hole that Percy was giving her. She needed to know more. The distraction helped piece together her fragmented psyche. It gave her something to do, but also presented some relief. She wasn’t alone here. If there’s one thing Emma wasn’t good at, it was dealing with loneliness. Combined with her personality, it was malignant.  Sure, Emma had her own demons. In all the same, Percy wouldn’t be curious about any of her life before the outbreak. It was similar. Almost. Well, there were a bit parts of her routine that was tweaked.

[percyharris-blog]

Staying had been harder than leaving, finding that her things were few and the people were the harder weight to carry around with her as she took the first place out and traveled across an ocean to escape them in the first place only to find that they'd followed her there. He'd been there. She couldn't have swore it was his face, reminding her of the type of person that she'd become and what was left in the shell that she wore around like an old coat that didn't fit quite right anymore. Despite what Emma and Thalia had instilled in her, Percy was still the same old mess that she'd always been beneath the cleaner exterior that still delved into the drugs that laced her system more often than not. It wasn't until she'd run out of them in the middle of nowhere, hellbent on letting the pain eclipse all else and consume her if it weren't for the intervention of another that took pity when there was nothing left but this shell of a person.

He believed there was more, just as Thalia before him, and Emma before that - each one of them a piece of her life that didn't mean a thing when she couldn't believe it herself and only saw the scars and markings of a life marred with tragedy that was self inflicted. She'd done this to herself. She'd hurt herself, hurt others, and continued to choose the path that was littered with troubles for any chance of a future that she could wish for. If there was on at all as she drew her eyes upwards, blinking back the empty tears that wouldn't fall quite as easily, not as there was nothing but a desire to be numb once again rather than a consumption of pain and regret that laced her bones together and made them impossible to run away.

Not to her.

Not again.

She shrugged, lips pressed together as she looked about ready to fall into a million pieces. "Because I wanted to leave, for good, and I couldn't do that with you there. You'd stop me.. you both would and I didn't want to keep living."

[estellerozanov-deactivated20161]

Connor side eyed his daughter and rolled his shoulders, “And full of sass and trouble, if I am honest.” The trouble was definitely from him, and the sass too, but her hair–that was her mother’s, and the way she scolded him was also a trait of her mother’s. She’d only been 8 weeks old when her mother split with so much as a note, the memory still burned to this day. He had no idea how he was going to tell her when she actually decided to ask. Connor feared that telling the truth would lead to her thinking that she wasn’t wanted, and nothing could be further than the truth. Connor had wanted her with every fiber of his being. He tried to be both parents, and he was failing at that, but he could be a good father.

Years of the devil being in the detail made him raise a brow at her. Oh. Kleptomaniac. That explained a bit. He used to have a friend that had the disorder. Nodding to her hand, “Should be careful with who’s things you take. Some people aren’t very forgiving. I don’t really have much, neither does Penny, so if you need something, just let me know. She shares her toys pretty well,” Connor said with a nod to Penny, who was coloring. He was worried for the stranger. It did not turn out well for Beck. He stole from the wrong person, and he ended up being found in a dumpster filled with knife holes.

Medical School. A rough time, he had been extremely young when he went through the program. He was one of the youngest neurosurgeons that laid claim to his skill. It had made his mother proud, surprisingly, but she was the sort of person who cared about titles like that. She really did not have any others. He dis not attend an Ivy, or have an outstanding GPA or standing–he had been average in his studies, but overachieved in the hands on bit. Residency and medical school had suited him better. 

[percyharris-blog]

Three years old. That’s how old her son would have been today if he’d survived her poor choices, but instead he was gone and she was the one stuck having to do the hard thing and live when it was so much easier to give up. Doctors like him were the reason that she was still there, ready and waiting for the end of the world to consume her and take her to join her son but that never happened. Everything else had happened like people on the road that took a hand in putting her back together every time that she fell apart to the point where Percy would rely on them to help her more than she’d ever be able to help herself.

It was the gradual shift of finding herself going through others things that could calm the thoughts in her head that she’d be better off dead rather than breathing air that should have belonged to someone else entirely. But at his next words, Percy felt her hand tighten subconsciously like he could see something that wasn’t supposed to be there as she took a step back from the man that shifted in a matter of moments from one of the ones that’d saved her to one that would turn her in to people that didn’t take to her stealing.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about and neither do you,” she shot back at him, her voice shaking slightly enough that she could feel it crawling up her spine and leaving her frozen in place while her mind wanted to flee the scene and find somewhere that he couldn’t find her. She’d be safe in one of the empty exhibits where no one else lingered because it didn’t hold anything of worth, only the trinkets that littered her bunk as she spread them out into small hiding spots that weren’t attached to her makeshift bed. She was smarter than to let anyone catch her, only fooling herself to think she was going to stay that way.

[optimistv]

Emma’s faith in people was almost pitiful, exhaling from her body like a radiator system. Hopeless, a lot of the people she did tend to care for. There was a part of her that always tried to see the good. There had to be good in everyone. Everyone had a bit of bad. Bad was alright. There isn’t a human on Earth that didn’t sin. Her hopes were often vain, but she didn’t let it get to her. She still believed that Percy was doing the right thing. She had to be doing something for herself, making a better life than what the world was giving her. From the sounds of it, the pale blonde did travel. Some. She wasn’t sure what with such vague responses.

Her hope was about to burn out, fluttering away just at the simple change of wind. She couldn’t push, knowing that would just leave them where they started. “Oh.” The words slid from her lips. She couldn’t help but sound disappointed. Was there some part of Percy that didn’t want contact with her old life? Was she simply an old photograph that was meant to stay in a box? Shut away and never spoken of again. Maybe in thirty years, the memory would leak through but be slammed away with all the bad ones. Her gaze fell, trying to bring herself to give some empowering words. There had to be some form of optimism to pull from her distance. There wasn’t.

“We don’t have to talk about if you don’t want to.”

[percyharris-blog]

It was that look on the other’s face that she couldn’t stomach. The tell tale signs of the hurt that she’d left behind in her absence which she couldn’t escape anymore, not since she’d last been high which was weeks ago. It felt like only yesterday that she’d been running away to whatever pill or drug she could get her hands on, eliminating any connection she had left to this world as her body and mind floated towards some place else that couldn’t hurt her. But it wasn’t that easy, not when she was the one that kept hurting those around her. It didn’t matter if she told them to stop trying, to let her go, because eventually she’d only show them that she wasn’t worth their tears or energy.

Emma was the exception to the rule as she watched her out of the corner of her eye and felt like her heart had fallen to the bottom of her stomach in one swift sound that slipped from the other’s lips. She didn’t want to talk about. She didn’t even want to think about how low she’d sunk in the months that followed her disappearance. 

“I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to even think about it.. it wasn’t the best time of my life, it wasn’t even a top three,” she rattled off like it would be enough but she couldn’t hold back the words that would have been better left unsaid. “I didn’t want to leave but I couldn’t stay.”

[thalia-reynolds]

Thalia wanted to scream when she realized Percy wasn’t coming back. Fuck the financial issues that came from losing a roommate; that was fixable. Losing a friend was an entirely different scenario. She forced Percy out of her mind and waited for her memory to stay gone. Percy always crept up on her however, especially when she needed to talk and found the only options she had were the four walls around her. It was why Thalia didn’t do friends. It was why Thalia kept pushing forward, leaving before anyone could sink their teeth into her. She didn’t want to deal with the binding confusion, the question as to where to go from here. Her solution to a problem was to bury it.

Seeing Percy lit the tactic ablaze. Thalia couldn’t hate Percy when she was one of the few people left in the world. She could avoid her and grumble whenever she spoke, but Percy didn’t deserve that. Well, part of Thalia believed she did. She merely couldn’t follow through with her instincts. They both had to move past the damage they cost. What was the point of holding grudges when there was nothing left? What was the point of having pride when it would come barreling down at one point or another?

Yeah, yeah, Thalia knew how fucking charming she was.

“It can be, if we try.” She closed some of the distance between them, extending a hand to Percy. “Hi, my name is Thalia Reynolds. What’s yours?”

[percyharris-blog]

It wasn’t fair, what she’d done to the other woman, but Percy knew that she’d done more than her fair share of people over her lifetime and herself included. She’d run from the best situation that she’d been in in all her life, knowing that by leaving it meant that she had no where to go but rock bottom and that’s where she woke up. The rest of the world had fallen too but she had lived there her whole life as the only time she believed that she could do something with her life had been with Thalia. 

A regret, yes, but one that she’d made out of the years she’d spent under the thumb of someone else and the thought of being near them again brought back everything that she hadn’t gotten over. Her loss, her baby, everything that she’d fought so hard to overcome when she’d come so close to to the brink if it hadn’t been for the doctors and one nurse in particular that made her believe she was meant for more than death. It hadn’t taken her yet, but she knew that it was waiting for her, just biding it’s time until she stole from the wrong person or took the wrong turn when running from her ghosts. The only thing she hadn’t thought would be running into this particular ghost that would have brought a smile to her face if she didn’t have guilt weighing down the corners of her lips.

Percy didn’t know if she could do that, if she was strong enough for it, or if Thalia would want to go through it all over again as she eyed the hand that was caught in the middle of the both of them. “Persephone Harris,” she spoke slowly as her fingers that shook slightly caught Thalia’s and she squeezed instead of shaking them.

[paige-elliot-blog]

“Red it is,” Paige answered with an easy laugh, not missing a beat. While she knew next to nothing about the woman before her, it didn’t come as a surprise to hear pink wasn’t her thing. Though it remained to be seen whether nail painting was at all. Especially now. Most people seemed not to care about the little things anymore – and they had a point, certainly. But they had all been given a gift. They’d been given extra time, a chance to keep living – even if only for one more year – and to give up everything enjoyable just to survive seemed awfully bleak. Maybe Paige’s perspective was skewed, though, given that there was no long-term for her. 

She brushed the thought away, Paige patted the ground next to her, inviting the other blonde over. “Ooor you can just keep me company, if you want,” she offered with a smile. The lack of friends she had here was weighing on her more and more by the day, and it was something that felt like it should be easy enough to fix. In theory. “I’m Paige.”

[percyharris-blog]

That wasn’t what she meant but at the other’s insistence, Percy felt her body drop down to the floor beside the other but made no move to pull her fingers from the sleeves of her sweater or bare her toes for painting. When was the last time that she’d done that? It would have been long before the end of the world, noting it as something that she wouldn’t have made time to do for herself, not when there were worse problems on her plate and the thought of stopping for a moment would have scared her half to death. It would have given way to thoughts and regrets over her impulses as she eyed one of the bottles with a growing impulse that she was struggling to shake off as she gripped the end of her sleeve even tighter than before.

“I’m not the best company, I’m afraid,” she spoke honestly, not knowing whether it would be a good thing or not but anything else felt too hard to force herself to pull up right then. Perhaps it was the few hours of sleep that she’d gotten in the past few days or the itch that she couldn’t scratch whenever she went too long without going through and finding something to keep for her own collection. “But I can be quiet.” Most of the time that was how she got into trouble as she lifted her eyes to the girl’s face, a small smile curling upwards on her features as the other introduced herself. “Percy.”

[epicwrites]

“I won’t deny it,” Axel confessed, shoulders shrugging absently. Axel did what he had to do to survive, Percy approached things a little differently. She stole for survival - but also for entertainment. More so than Axel (though they had made quite the game out of it, lately). He wouldn’t admit out loud but she was clearly a little better at this than he was.

Unwrapping he piece of gum that he’d been given he looked it over (he couldn’t trust anything, even something as innocent as a piece of gum anymore) before popping the pink rectangle in his mouth as she went on to speak on the bullets. “Hey, hey now; there is a lot I don’t know about you. Maybe you were a weapons specialist in your past life.” 

[percyharris-blog]

When he took the gum, Percy felt a touch of happiness slide across her chest until it landed on her own that was still in the palm of her hand. There was no desire to taste it or even take pleasure, not as much as taking it from someone else but she felt it and closed her fingers around it tightly. Later, she’d tell herself, later when she felt the urge start up again she’d chew the gum and hope that it was enough to get through the night before she was slipping into another’s bunk for something else to take.

“That’s because you’ve never guessed right,” she told him with a light laugh, ignoring the pain in her chest as she let out a breath and found it a bit easier to smile in his company. “The day you do will be the day that I tell all.”

[liamhart-blog]

“Oh, uh. Okay…” Liam trailed off and eyed her warily, unsure of what to do with her blunt honesty. It was surprising. If a bunch of people hated him, he probably wouldn’t go around telling every other person he met. Unless he suspected people were talking about him, maybe, but there weren’t that many of them at the museum and Liam had not heard anything about a weird blonde. 

Maybe her low-profile thing was working. 

It was mildly unsettling, but at the same time – he knew what it was like to intentionally keep a low profile. It was largely the way he’d managed to avoid getting picked on in school for the most part. Knowing when to speak up and when to keep his head down. Having Jesse, Luca and Frankie around when he was growing up hadn’t hurt, either. Having them here now made an even bigger difference. He thought back to the group he and Diana had escaped, how he’d opened his mouth one too many times and the crazy dude in charge had decided he was too much of a liability to his hold over the rest of the group. Maybe there was nothing wrong with this woman at all. Maybe her head was just in the right place. But there was only one way to find out, really, and her bluntness in sharing was what prompted Liam to speak up with the same straightforwardness. “Why don’t people like you?”

[percyharris-blog]

There was plenty that Percy kept to herself but it was only that which had made her the type of person that she was today, knowing that there was no way to change or escape it, she’d resigned herself to living like it was constantly on her back. Even in the new world that she’d found on the trail end of her last detox, Percy knew that she wouldn’t be able to fool anyone into believing that she was worth a damn. It was luck and someone else’s good intentions that’d gotten her this far in life but for what? She knew the looks that she’d garner when Lance would yell out her name, calling her out on the shit that she’d steal, but Percy didn’t stop. She couldn’t. The only time she felt like herself was when she had someone that didn’t belong to her in her possession.

Given time, she’d been told in the past that it would fade if she could find something else to work through her problems with but that’d never happened. Stealing was the only outlet she could manage as she glanced between the boy and his figurines, taking a step to the side as she worked another angle of sight but kept her distance. A heavy shrug and she spoke once more. “I steal from them.” There was little she could do to hide the truth, not when she felt like this, while her entire person began to sink further into the floor and make her wish that she didn’t exist anymore. Maybe then she’d find a permanent release.

[bisexualkatniss-deactivated2016]

[optimistv]

Didn’t really expect the world to go to shit. Well, no one did really. She was sure if more were aware - the amount of bodies in the morgue would be much higher. Things would be so different if any of them KNEW it was coming. But they didn’t. There was nothing to change from it. Everyone was connected by that same clueless thought: what if? What if they did know? What if she was visiting family at the time it hit? Would things be different? Would they be better? It was a soft excuse, her tone pleading to be released from some of the guilt that beckoned her. Emma wasn’t sure what to do with that. She stared, brows scrunching up as they always did. Her lips drew into a tight line. What was there to say to such a thing? There was a small part of her that still believed in fate. She believed that things happened for a reason - even the horrid ones.

Emma glanced around, tears finally drying in place. Her mind was elsewhere. Sure, there was a part of her that was still angry. There always would be, but the nurse wasn’t one to hold grudges. She could never commit something that she’d never desire against herself. She tried to forgive - even if she didn’t know why. She couldn’t always see others reasoning for their actions. All there was left was to just speculate. “Where did you go?” She asked, the question almost thrusting itself from her lips. She wanted to know everything. It was hard to pick something and just go with it.

[percyharris-blog]

The world was falling apart but in some ways, it was falling back into place as she watched the other struggle to keep herself from falling apart all over again. That was the last thing that Percy wanted then, not from someone who’d put Percy’s well being before her own and was a constant reminder of why Percy was a piece of shit sometimes. She walked out on the people that did good by her, remembered all the ones that didn’t, and fled from everyone all together when she couldn’t deal. It wasn’t the healthiest way for her to live but Percy never did make the best choices, always going back to bad situations until they all but killed what was left of her life.

“I went,” her voice trailed off as she paused, trying to recall some of the towns that she’d ended up in before they blurred into the next. So many different places, never once stopping long enough to think about where she’d been or where she’d end up, not when she could keep the drugs in her system long enough to stay floating above it all. “...away.” It hadn’t been until Axel cleaned her up that Percy could even remember some of the names, not that she wanted to think about any of them at all. They weren’t New York City, they weren’t Thalia, they weren’t anything at all but places. “There wasn’t any one place that stood out from the rest.”

[paige-elliot-blog]

The woman moved into full view, and while her face was one Paige had seen around the museum she did not have a name to go with it. But she was struck by the bright blonde hair, cut short in a way similar to that of her older sister. This woman’s style felt edgier, somehow, though whether that was a result of the past month or something that remained of the world before Paige could not tell.

It was a disappointment to hear her offer met with a negative, but there was just enough of what seemed like reluctance in the woman’s voice for Paige to reach out once more. “Aww, come on,” she waved the woman over with a flick of the polish brush and a wide smile. “It’ll be fun! Who cares if it chips in, like, a day?” Some might label her as shallow for even bothering with something so silly as nail polish, but Paige was unconcerned. If you asked her, it was even more important to enjoy the little things now. Hoping to entice the other blonde further she added, “I’ve got some red, if pink’s not your color.”

[percyharris-blog]

It felt unfamiliar. It felt like a piece of the old world to watch the smile on the other’s face while she painted her nails which was something that didn’t happen anymore. Everyone was so focused on their survival that little things that might have brought about an ounce of happiness was all but forgotten about. Percy had her own way to deal with the world, finding her fingers in more people’s belongings than outside in the empty world. It was how she dealt with everything, finding it easier to breathe at night when she was surrounded by items that she’d taken rather than her own thoughts and memories. 

New ones would cloud the others, making them more difficult to bring up as she worked to keep her mind off her past. It wasn’t impossible but it was difficult, more so than ever before during the time when she couldn’t find a way to pass the time. It moved too slow, too dark, and too pressing against her skin at times when she wanted to crawl out of it. Now wasn’t one of those times as her eyes widened at the girl’s insistence, knowing that a few minutes wouldn’t kill her and if they did, then all’s well that ends well. “Pink’s definitely not my color.”

[thalia-reynolds]

They were two sides of the same coin: rusted and unsure of where they would wind up next. Thalia knew what it was like to run. The latter of her life had been doing just that. Blend in, stay alive, and disappear when what she needed had been used up. She never thought she would require these skills in the future when the world decided it would plunge into fucking hell itself. She could explain her past as preparing herself, make it worth something more than it was. Though Thalia couldn’t lie to herself about why she had done what she did. She had been s-c-a-r-e-d. Thalia, who wore bitterness on her sleeve had a weakness and it appeared every time she gathered her belongings to move. She never considered the consequences when she left her family until Percy never came back to the apartment. She realized it was understandable if she wasn’t forgiven because she never took into consideration the added pressure of losing a daughter and a sister. 

She was a monster. And maybe Percy had put the pieces together.

“It sucks to be them, Percy. The fact of the matter is you’re here and you can’t think about why anyone else isn’t. You got lucky or you’re meant to be here. That’s the way I see it. I have no reason to be here and yet, I’m still standing. I’m going to keep doing so until a clicker or whatever else is out there gets me.” It was the only way to be – to accept her fate now then be terrified of it when it finally rolled around. “Look, I wasn’t exactly friend of the year either. We both fucked up. Can we start there?”

[percyharris-blog]

Was it possible to start over? To be another person? Or to even be able to look at herself again and find that she wasn’t as heartless as she felt after all those years? What she’d done to herself, her life, and to the people in it, Percy never felt like she’d be able to go on from it and rather, stayed stuck in the same cycle that kept her running all this time. Lucky or whatever else there might have been looking down on her, Percy wasn’t one of the dead yet. For some reason she kept going, kept finding her path, and kept at it even when there were so many times when giving up would have been the easier choice.

Unfortunately, there were points in her life where she’d been at the hands of someone else who would save her time and time again. What made her worth their time? She sure as hell didn’t see it and couldn’t find any reason to think otherwise even as she avoided meeting the eyes of one of the few people that’d believed she was better than her worst and stronger than her weakest moments. But when they continued to happen, what choice did she have but to accept the type of person she was only meant to be. Still, her eyes flickered in the other’s direction and found herself wanting to believe that she could start over, that they could look at each other like they’d done once before, and be friends again. 

“Is that even possible?” Because she wasn’t so sure of it, not anymore.

[estellerozanov-deactivated20161]

“What do we have here?” Connor asked the person who was barely around the corner as he shifted his daughter, Penelope, from his left arm to his right. He had her stuffed wallaby named Willabe in his free hand and a smile came to his face. He was always a better person with his daughter nearby, and now more than ever he was reluctant to let her go, despite how she mildly protested with him. Her attitude was showing more and more every day, the bit of sass and fire that Connor swore was from her mother, even if she was only around for two months. 

To be fair, it could have come from Connor, she had witnessed him being grumpy before, the sarcastic way his words would roll out of his mouth to other doctors. Bumping her lightly to make her laugh, her hands reached for Willabe and he handed the stuffed animal over and placed her on the ground. “Stick around, okay? We’ll explore more later.” Six, six and forever trying to explore and get into trouble. It gave him some amount of anxiety to let her on the floor, but he smiled at the person who gaped at them. “That’s Penelope. Penny, even. I’m Dr. Hopkins–err, Connor. Either or. Force of habit.” 

[percyharris-blog]

Her back turned, slinking away from the bunk of another unknown mark as she pocketed the watch that she’dd seen them wearing earlier that day, Percy thought she’d made a quick getaway until she nearly stumbled into someone else. Correction, two someone else’s as she stared at the child for longer than was necessary as she felt the watch grow warm in the palm of her hand while the sleeve of her sweater covered it up. “I, nothing.. didn’t watch where I was going, that’s all.” She didn’t think anyone would have been out there, not when the person she’d swiped the watch from kept to themselves on purpose, like her, and had volunteered to help out with the defenses of the place, unlike her. 

Though as soon as she stopped her rambling, feeling the watch around her clasped fingers, Percy watched the little girl start to walk away from the man that’d been holding her. It struck a chord, one that she’d been so good at keeping under wraps as her smile faltered around the edges before she flashed it back on again like nothing was wrong at all. All she felt then was the itch, needing to go find something else to take and hide away until it went away but she was stuck, making small talk, which was less inconspicuous than if she just walked away. “Cute kid.”

[paige-elliot-blog]

While vain was never a word Paige would have used to describe herself, she’d certainly always cared about her appearance. Fashion and makeup were fun, and there was simply no denying the fact that the better she looked, the better she felt. So despite the decided lack of people left in the world, she still made a point of trying to maintain her appearance as best she could, making use of what little makeup she had left and the hairbrush that had been important enough to make it in her pack, alongside numerous painkillers and her family photo album. Silly as it may have been, ten extra minutes in the morning worked wonders on Paige’s outlook. 

It was for the same reason, after losing focus of the inventory she was taking count of one too many times, that she settled down under a giant whale with a half-full pot of pink nail polish and set to work on her fingernails. The familiar smell and the comfortable, repetitive motions helped her to ignore the constant, dull ache in her head, as well as the very depressing reasons she was not doing this at home. She hummed quietly to herself, just finishing her left hand when she felt a set of eyes on her. Paige was quick to look up and offer a smile. “I can do yours next, if you want. I’ve got plenty.”

[percyharris-blog]

Percy had been watching the other for awhile, seeing what she was doing with her free time while so many others made their purpose to have everything to do with survival. It was in the moments when people didn’t know they were being watched that she saw the real them, from what they did to where they went, she liked to watch them. It kept her out of her own head, let her believe for a minute that she was a part of the other’s life where she was wanted and not an unnecessary component that came with a warning label. Keep away from expensive items for they’ll be gone by the time she is. For a bit that would be enough to keep her in check but then she’d get the itch again, need another outlet, and find herself snooping where she didn’t belong.

That’s why she kept to herself, not sure when or how she’d come to be closer to the other woman before they’d felt her gaze on them and Percy knew that it was too late to duck away and disappear. That would only bring more attention to her later as she merely moved until she was in full view of the other woman. “Me? No. No, I couldn’t.. do that. Thank you though.”

[untamedtate]

“I don’t remember saying that you could stand in the same vicinity as me. Or breathe the same air as me, for that matter. Go away before I cut off one of your extremities.”

[percyharris-blog]

“I don’t remember asking for your permission. Puff, puff, pass, bitch.”

[percyharris-blog]

thalia-reynolds:

The tension in the air was thick, ready to wrap around lungs and suffocate them. Thalia never liked dealing with such. Her whole life was centered around avoiding the difficult. It was why she left New York and her family. She didn’t want to see a future where her mom wasn’t in it. She didn’t want a future filled with trips to the hospital and a decaying body – if not from the cancer, but from the radiation treatment. If Thalia could close her eyes and blacken out the world, she would. Maybe it made her a coward. The bottom line was, she wasn’t sure if she cared. 

Meeting Percy gave her someone else to care about. It snuck up on her one day, when the woman came home and she was actually looking forward to seeing her. After moving from place to place, having an expectation was odd for Thalia. It was why Percy leaving hurt as bad as it did, why Thalia grew colder than she had been before. She didn’t like a knife in her back, let alone keeping it there until Thalia grew sick of its presence and yanked it out. Having Percy before her dimmed the memory. What she realized she wanted was her safety. She wanted her friend back. “You didn’t deserve anything, Percy. That’s not what any of this is about. It doesn’t even matter anymore, not when the world is like this.”

“It’s the only thing that matters.” How many others had died while she continued to live? How many others wished to switch places with her when she’d tried to end it all and walk away from the pain that came from living? How many others deserved to be there instead of her? Thalia was one of them, knowing the other woman had gone through her share of pain but hadn’t let it dictate her life completely. She’d found a way to be stronger than it all and it was something that Percy had admired in her. Something that she had hoped to find in herself but never could, not when she only ever went down the same paths as before and traveled the same roads that’d done nothing but hurt her. It was because she knew, she knew exactly the sort of person that she was even in the moments when she could act like she wasn’t, Persephone didn’t belong there.

“How many people have died because of this world? How many have been hurt.. how many manage to get back up again and keep going when I’ve done nothing but let it rule over me,” she breathed in deep and finally turned her gaze at the one person that she’d hurt more than she’d done to herself. In one fell swoop she’d destroyed the only good thing in her life and turned her back on it, choosing to run and hide away, rather than follow the other’s example to be stronger and better than it all. “I ran away because I was scared. It’s not an excuse, it’s what I did..”

[epicwrites]

Axel’s nose scrunched up at her teasing, shaking his head back and forth, “Of course not,” he jested, “I just wanted to know what treasures you’ve hidden in my bunk less I get questioned about it.” Who knew what she could’ve put there, he definitely didn’t need the council on his ass this early in the development of the museum colony - of sorts. “This is fantastic, though. Have you tried it?” He proceeded to unwrap the bubble gum as she went on, pausing mid-unwrapping to peer back up at her, curious. “You found bullets? What kind? Like I said, you’re freakin’ amazing.” 

[percyharris-blog]

“They won’t question what they don’t know. I’m not that bad, I have been at this longer than you have,” she replied, choosing to focus on his attitude rather than letting her own get in the way of her happy moment. It was one of the few and it was be fleeting if she let it go, whisked off with the rest of them as she would spend too many hours thinking of all her thieving did to others rather than how much ti was for herself. “I haven’t. We had other kinds back home, but I couldn’t let these slip past me. Not when I knew that they’d worth their weight in gold to the right person.” One that she felt that she could share this side of herself with and they wouldn’t look at it for what it was but rather let her indulge and forget for a minute. “I don’t know what kind, do I look like the type to know anything about guns other than what end to point in the right direction? I just know how much they go for around here and if we needed something.. they could help. Plus it’s not like he needed them, there was plenty more where they came from.”