Captain Hook X Female! Reader
~Chapter One: The Crew of Captain Hook~
“BLAST that Peter Pan!” Your captain shouted as he slammed his hand on the desk before bringing it and his hook in the air out of the frustration.
Startled by his sudden shout, you turned your attention away from the shore you were keeping an eye on and turned towards him.
You watched as he mumbled to himself, dragging his fingers across the parchment that laid across his desk while he smoked cigars from a unique cigar holder he stole from royalty years ago.
His hook dug into the wood of the desk as he blew rings of smoke out of his mouth, still muttering.
Your captain, Captain James Hook, had become completely obsessed with getting his revenge on Peter Pan. Peter was a flying 12 year old who befriended pixies and other children he brought onto the island of Neverland.
The reason Hook wanted revenge was because after the crew had anchored to the island, Peter Pan had “pranked” him by cutting off his hand and feeding it to a crocodile; who now followed him everywhere, trying to eat the rest of him. And now he has a hook to replace his missing hand. Ironic because of his last name.
So, of course, because he lost his hand, his pride was wounded, and he was in constant paranoia. He vowed to stay on the island until “the flying devil” was dead.
“Captain?” You asked as you walked over to his desk as he continued to mumble to himself.
Just as you were right behind him, he slammed his hook down on the Indian tribes on his map. “HERE!” He yelled, startling you and making you back away from him.
“No! No no no!” He huffed as pushed himself out of his seat, storming past you so he could pace. “That’s Indian territory…”
“But wait…” He twirled the cigar holder between his fingers as he sat down. “Those red skins know this island better than I do me own ship…I wonder…”
“Captain.” You repeated, trying to get his attention as Mr. Smee, Hook’s first mate, walked up the stairs with a tray full of shaving tools.
“Good morning Cap’n!” Smee giggled.
“I’VE GOT IT!” Hook yelled, swinging his hook past you and into Smee’s shirt, bringing him up to eye level. “Tigerlily, Smee!”
“Tigerlily?” You and Smee asked simultaneously.
“Don’t you see?” He said, throwing Smee to the ground and removing his hook from his shirt as he turned towards you. “The chief’s daughter would most definitely know where Peter Pan is hiding, my dear!” He grinned as he sat back down in his throne.
“B-But will she talk, Cap’n?” Smee asked, biting his nails as you came up beside Hook’s right side.
“Oh, a little persuasion might be in order.” Hook smirked as he used his hook to scratch the stubble on his chin.
“Now let me see.” He said excitedly as he twirled the cigar holder between his fingers.
“Boiling in oil…keel-hauling…marooning.” Hook turned to you as Smee started cleaning the utensils he brought up with him. “Any ideas, poppet?”
“Well, you wouldn’t want to accidentally kill her while you’re trying to get information out of her.” You said, leaning up against his desk. “Marooning is probably the least brutal but still a big enough threat to get her to talk.”
Hook hummed and played with his mustache. “Perhaps we could bring her to skull rock, far away from her tribe.”
But before he could continue speaking, another crew mate who was sitting up on the mast of the sails started singing about a pirate’s life a little too loudly.
Annoyed at his noise, Hook pulled his gun out of his trench coat and shot him without a second glance, sending him into the sea below.
“Now let me see, where were we?” Hook asked after blowing the smoke out of his gun and setting it on his desk.
“Planning to maroon Tigerlily.” You said, rubbing your ringing ear as Hook brought his cigar holder up to his mouth again.
“Oh dear dear dear Captain Hook, shooting a man in the middle of his cadenza.” Smee giggled. “It ain’t good form, you know?” He said as you stood up straight.
Irritated at Smee’s words, he glared at nothing in particular before setting his cigar holder on the desk slowly. “Good form, Mr. Smee?” He asked with an annoyed smile.
“BLAST GOOD FORM!” He yelled, flipping the desk and his chair, startling you as he stomped over to where Smee was standing while waving his hook. “Did Pan show good form when he did THIS to me?!” He yelled, shoving his hook in Smee’s face when he cornered him asking the wooden railing of the ship.
Smee giggled as Hook backed off and turned around in front of you, expecting you to remove his coat. “Why Captain, cutting your hand off was only a childish prank, you might say.”
“Aye!” He shouted, shrugging his coat off as it fell into your hands. “But throwing it to the crocodile…!” He trailed off, raising his hook in the air as you folded his coat on the railing.
“That cursed beast liked the taste of me so well, he followed me ever since!” He walked over to the chair Smee had leaned up against the wooden railing so he could shave Hook’s face.
“Licking his chops for the rest of me…” He cried dramatically as he plopped down into the chair.
“You would have been long gone by now, Cap’n. If he hadn’t swallowed that alarm clock.” Smee chuckled as he draped a small rag over Hook’s chest. “But now when he’s about, he warns ya as you might say. With he’s constant ticking.”
You stood beside Hook’s chair as Smee started to whip up some homemade shaving cream. “You know Captain, I overheard some of the crew complaining this morning. They’re restless, eager to put to sea. They-“
You stopped talking when you heard a distant ticking noise.
All three of you stopped and Hook’s eyes widened in fear as he slowly turned to look over the railing.
And there it was. A large green crocodile who slowly swam around the boat until he stood up on a rock, purposefully making himself known to frighten Hook.
Hook jumped up out of his seat and ran to the other side of the deck. “GET IT OUT OF HERE! GET IT AWAY!” He yelled, his hand shaking as he pointed to where he saw the crocodile.
You rushed over to rub Hook’s arms, trying to calm him as Smee tried shooing the reptile away. “James! James, it’s okay! As long as you’re on the ship, you’re fine!”
Hook only started to calm down once the ticking started to fade. “Is it gone, Smee…?”
“Aye! All gone, Captain.” Smee smiled, wiping the dust off his hands.
“I can’t stand it any longer, I tell you I can’t!” He mumbled into his hands and hook as he slid down the railing to the deck floor.
“Captain, it’s okay. He’s gone.” You said as you pulled him up to his feet and sat him back down in the chair.
Hook trembled in his chair until Smee put a warm towel over his face and he relaxed. “There, all better.” You said as you leaned up against the railing.
Smee started to hum a sea shanty while you paid attention to how the sunlight sparkled off the sea. “Cap’n, you know I can’t help but notice you ain’t been your usual jolly self as of late.” He said.
“Well, no wonder. Poor thing’s been chased by a crocodile for years now.”
“But it’s never been this bad.” Smee sighed and you nodded in agreement.
“But I bet you’d be a lot happier and healthier if we put to sea. Left Neverland. Forgot Peter Pan.” Smee chuckled.
“You know that’s out of the question.” You sighed.
Smee suddenly gasped and you turned to look. “What? What?”
“I-I shaved his head clean off!” Smee cried and played with his glasses.
You raised an eyebrow and lifted the warm towel off Hook’s face.
“You blithering blockhead.” Hook groaned as he glared at Smee.
“What did you even shave?” You asked as you set the towel on the tray Smee brought.
But before he could reply, another pirate who was named Mr. Kerk called out from the crow’s nest. “Peter Pan ahoy!”
Hearing the boy’s name, Hook immediately stood up from his seat. “What?! Where away?!” He called back.
“Three points off the starboard bow!” Kerk returned as you ran over to Hook’s desk to grab his spyglass for him.
He snatched it from your hands and brought it up to his right eye. “Swoggle me eyes…it is Pan! Headed this way with some more of those scurvy brats.”
He smiled and turned to Smee. “Mr. Smee! Pipe up the crew! (Y/n)! Me dress coat!”
Smee nodded and started yelling and blowing his whistle, while you ran over to the railing and unfolded his coat.
“Look alive, you swabs!” Hook yelled before you helped his coat onto his shoulders while he stuffed his arms into the sleeves. “We’ve got him this time, me dear.”
“That we have, captain.” You smiled as you fixed the collar of his coat and adjusted his scabbard.
“Man the Long Tom, you bilge rats!” Hook yelled at the crew while you grabbed his captain’s hat from its resting place on the steering wheel.
“I’ve waited years for this.” He smiled as he took his hat from your hands and placed it on his head while you stuffed a handkerchief into his sleeve around his hook.
“Oh, I know.” You said, giving his hook a quick wipe down with a clean rag from the tray Smee brought.
“Double the powder and shorten the fuse!” Hook yelled before picking up his spy glass to spy on Peter and the new children he brought to the island.
“Shorten the powder and double the fuse!” Smee repeated to the crew.
“A pretty sight, poppet.” He smirked at you. “We’ll pot ‘em like sitting ducks!”
“Aye.” You smiled and stared up at the clouds.
“Alright, men! Range 42!” Hook yelled to the crew as they stuffed cannon balls into the ship’s cannons.
“Range 42!” Smee relayed.
You ducked below the railing and covered your ears just before Hook shouted “Fire”.
The ship shook with each blast from the cannons and you only lifted your hands off your ears once the shaking stopped.
“Blasted boy flew away.” Hook huffed and stuffed the spyglass into his coat pocket.
“Mr. Smee! Ready a tender to be dropped to sea, we’re heading to shore for Tigerlily.” Hook ordered before he turned back to you.
He put his hook under your chin and leaned into your face. “Keep the crew busy, poppet.”
“We shall be back soon, me dearest. If all goes accordingly, we will return before sunset. And then, we will construct a plan to finally rid the island of that cursed Peter Pan.”
“Aye aye, Captain.” You smiled at him.
He smirked and walked away as Mr. Smee was attaching a tender to some ropes so he could set it into the water.
[I hope you enjoyed this chapter!]
