I’ve been seeing a lot of discourse about white neurodivergent people seemingly refusing to engage in black culture.
To my fellow white neurodivergent people: I know it can be difficult to change our behavior until we understand the mindset that led to the behavior in the first place, so here’s my attempt to kickstart some of you on that path.
To everyone else… I hope this explains some things.
As white neurodivergents, we spend a lot of time and effort trying to memorize and conform to the social norms of white society. We are taught to play by those rules, lest we be seen as “weird” or “off-putting,” which we learn through experience is a social death sentence. And because of our strong internal sense of justice, when we see other people break those arbitrary societal rules, we tend to get extremely uncomfortable. The little voice in the back of our brains screams at us that they’re going to be in some sort of trouble for what they’re doing.
Now, stick someone with a brain that works that way in the midst of a culture with social norms that deviate from what white society says is “acceptable.” That little voice is going off 24/7. Consciously, we do understand that what we’re seeing isn’t ACTUALLY “wrong” or “rude,” just a different set of social rules. But that doesn’t automatically shut down the voice. It actually just makes things worse, because suddenly, the game we’ve spent our whole lives learning to play doesn’t help us here. We don’t know how to not be “weird” in this setting, and that terrifies us.
And as we do begin to figure out the new rules, a new problem arises. How much of the culture should we adopt? Our brains desperately want us to conform to enough of these new rules to avoid the historically dire consequences of being seen as “weird.” However, we know we can’t just become perfect chameleons in a culture that isn’t ours, because that easily becomes appropriation. Striking that balance is a challenging game for neurodivergents, and I think a lot of us just subconsciously avoid playing it at all. I know I did for a long time.
As neurodivergents, we also tend to put ourselves and others into rigid boxes. Long ago I defined myself as “someone who doesn’t listen to rap,” and I defined rap as “something that wasn’t made for me.” Efforts I’ve made to branch out have had to fight against those preconceived notions. We REALLY struggle with change like that. On the other hand, I grew up in an area that plays a LOT of jazz, which is also a very historically black genre of music. But because jazz has been something inside of my “box” since birth, I don’t have the same struggles with it as I do rap.
I say all of this not as an attempt to excuse white neurodivergent behavior, but as an explanation for it. Branching outside of our bubbles is difficult for us, yes, but as someone currently working on doing that, it’s SO important and it can be SO rewarding.
so, my fellow white neurodivergents, I’m assigning you homework. go. listen to ONE rap song. or ONE jazz standard. or watch ONE movie about black people. And really consume it critically. Even if you don’t like it, you’ve learned something. You’ve gained perspective. List out a couple of things you DID like about it, then tomorrow seek out more media with those elements. The world is such a rich tapestry of culture, and I promise you, you’re missing out by ignoring all perspectives outside of your own.
