Disclaimer:
Let me start this off by saying I have nothing against the Harry Potter book or movies series, but I have not seen the entirety of either platform.
So I got drunk with two of my friends and went to a midnight book release event of the new Harry Potter book at Barnes and Noble. They had a scavenger hunt where you find certain pictures taped to various objects and write down some secret code to enter yourself in a raffle for Harry Potter related prizes, a face painting station where they offered to paint my petronum on my face and when asked what I thought mine would be I said probably a potato, and a sorting hat station where you answered a few questions and they determined which house you belong to.
I’ll say again, I was very drunk. Going to Barnes and Noble was my friends’ attempt to help me sober up, by spending time quietly in a bookstore until I seemed well enough to drive.
The sorting hat, or “Sorta/Sorter”, was a bald dude in a grey t-shirt and jeans with a big round Harry Potter promotional button pin on his chest.
He asked, “do you guys know which house you belong to?” Missing half a beat, I said, “Ravendor???”
Please also read my disclaimer above.
He looked at me a little funny (it looked like his face wanted to laugh, but his Potter-loving heart said no).
“Okay, Ravenclaw it is-” but I wanted to be sorted. He was supposed to be the sorting hat, which, in both the first book and first movie (both of which I was familiar with) didn’t just willy-nilly let the newbie witches and wizards choose which house they stayed with. This was fact.
“I want to take the quiz, please”
My speech was a bit slurred.
“Okay, okay. You find a wallet lying in the middle of the sidewalk. Do you: 1) leave it, 2) pick it up and turn it into the polic-”
“I pick it up and give it to the police”
“…3) pick it up to check the name/address of the person so you can return it, or 4) check to see how much money is inside before entrusting it with an adult or person of authority?”
I looked at him straight in the eyes, full of determination, “I give it to the police”
He was chuckling, “you know, if you want to be in Ravenclaw, you can be in Ravenclaw”
“No, I have to be sorted!”
“How would your friends describe you? Loyal and thoughtful, sensitive and smart, brave and courageous, or quick and cunning?”
I looked at my friends. I wasn’t sure what they’d say, but I knew for a fact that, “well, I am none of those things right now.”
My friends laughed and both agreed on sensitive and smart. I reminded them, “but not right now, okay? Don’t rely on my brain right now.”
We agreed on loyal and thoughtful for one and brave and courageous for the other.
At this point we all had an idea of what we’d end up as, but I was still crossing my fingers for Ravenclaw against the slim chance I may be sorted into a different house.
“Alright, okay. Last one. In two words, how would you describe yourself?”
My two friends were thinking on this one, stumped, even. Me, I was ready. As far as I knew, I would have been ready with an answer for any question anyone could ever think of and the correctness or relevance of my answer would be of no consequence. Without missing a beat, I said,
Now both the Sorter and his assisstant (the one goving out the big Harry buttons that the Sorter was wearing) were laughing boisterously.
Through the laughter we were told our sorted houses: my loyal and thoughtful friend was indeed a HufferPuffer, my brave and courageous friend was a Gryffinclaw, and I was sorted into my one true destiny, Ravendor. We each recieved one of the big Harry promo buttons and parted ways for home after getting some coffee and tea at the in-store coffee shop.
Thanks for reading about my weird drunk night!
jacobvanloon
dededos
dailybridgerton
baratheonpilled
