we both fell asleep on the floor then i left you there you spent so MANY days alone, so i'll kill myself to make things fair. see i just h a t e d being tired cause i can't seem to sleep anymore you and all your friends were all ✰ right ✰ about me all a l o n g. private multimuse by ellie
he can’t remember much of it, if he’s being honest. he knows there was yelling, screaming that just got louder and louder, penetrating his skull and lodging itself in his brain when suddenly, there was nothing. blackness, and then red. grey stares at the pale yellow color of the walls in his room and has never regretted picking the color more; it’s too much. it’s cheered him up in the past, but after the crime he just committed it almost makes him feel sick. he’ll likely never feel that carefree again.
he folds his clothes, movements robotic as he thinks of the future; them running away, just the two of them. it’s kind of romantic when you think about it. romantic even when we get caught ? he thinks to himself. jokes aside, they’re about to be the only familiar things in each other’s lives, so grey hopes that they can manage to stay together instead of letting this tear them apart.
and maybe it’s a crazy thought given the circumstances, but now is not the time to be selfish. it’s not his dad who caused all of this, after all, but it was the two of them who ended it. he puts a tentative hand on carter’s knee and gives a smile, a bit dim but he’s trying. “ ready to go soon ? ”
he can feel the judgement radiating from raph before he’s even made eye contact. elijah is never one to turn raph down if he’s set on having a certain type of conversation, but it doesn’t make him less uncomfortable. naive, maybe. a little bit of a pushover. “ow, watch your big head!” elijah complains, hoping it’ll win him at least a few seconds so he can think of a convincing lie. but he’s never been the best at lying. in fact, he doesn’t even come any close to good. he lightly hits the back of raphael’s head. “what’s it to you? you haven’t had your first kiss either!” he lifts his hands to his face and balls them into fists. for a moment, he’s not sure what he’s about to do – knock raphael out cold, or cover his face. and then, because he’s a good boy with no violent bone in his body, elijah begins to rub his eyes, and hopes that raph will let this go, for once.
he’s just surprised ... raph really should stop assuming that he’s the only one who hasn’t had his first kiss; he’s not that special. “ watch your big mouth, ” he retaliates smugly, relentless in flaunting his triumph over getting elijah to let something slip through the cracks. the smack almost sets him off, scrunching his nose up and aiming to swat back but he ceases fire, taking amusement in the other’s internal battle. “ yes, but i’m not embarrassed about it like how someone seems to be. i didn’t know we were the same in this category, you’ve been holding out on me ! ” he’s so excited about the revelation that he pounces and pushes elijah down on the couch, leaning over his form. “ listen to me. we can help each other out right now. be each other’s first kiss so we don’t make a fool out of ourselves in front of anyone else ! i already know how much of a fool you are, so it’s a win-win. ”
soyeon can take care of herself. she can. but she’s small, hungry and stranded at the store. a quick glance over anais tells her they’re both of the same mindset, despite it being freezing cold outside. she’d been shuffling down the aisle in her fluffy, white bunny slippers and hair in the early stages of drying – fresh out of the shower. her friends had enticed her with promises of alcohol and snacks, but bailed while she was still browsing. not that she minds much. she gives anais a pouty look that says ‘i wish i was dead’ and then stares at the arm trapping the box of cereal. she could break it. the guy looks strong, though. she’s not interested in the reason he’s refusing to let her carry on with her morning. “i’m just tryna…y’kno’.” and he’s not letting me.
she hopes to god she isn’t misreading the girl’s face, but anais wouldn’t feel right if she were to bail now, with her dumb hero complex and all. so she takes another step, shielding soyeon from the dude and planting a hand on the prized cereal box. “ hey. think you wanna lay off my girlfriend ? ” she blurts, trying her best to not to look as surprised as the guy does, staring him down instead, but like, really ... outing herself to two strangers and making up a lie that the girl might not even play along with ... congratulate anais for reaching new levels of dumbassery. she SWEARS she meant to say ‘my friend.’ cute girls make her flustered ... she briefly twists around to give an embarrassed and apologetic glance.
elijah loves acting, despite the fact that he can’t. so he acts like he’s not uncomfortable, although his hands are abandoning the designs they’ve been idly tracing on the side of raph’s neck in favour of dragging through his hair. a nervous tic. he’s kind of glad his friend can’t see him, given he knows him better than anybody. “u-um?” he’s taken aback by the other’s directness. is it always like that…how would he know? the one time he had the opportunity to have his first kiss, he ran away. literally. used his cross-country running experience to make it out in thirty seconds flat. days later, he’d moved house and started high school in a different city. “i…i dunno.” his hands move to his own neck, growing redder by the second. “i don’t think so…i’ve seen other movies and stuff and it’s like never that gross.”
it’s sometimes hard for people to gauge whether raphael’s being genuine or is secretly just a little shit, given both his lack of reserve and his seemingly endless supply of questions, all strange or unconventional in some way. the change in movement has him peeking up in interest, though in the end, his efforts to see the other’s expression are futile. he’s not about to give elijah a way out of the conversation despite his obvious signs of being uncomfortable; not to say that raph’s being cruel, okay … if his friend explicitly says he doesn’t want to talk about it, he’ll back off. but he’s found that the answers he wants aren’t always the easiest to get. “ wait, ” he sits up in realization, almost hitting elijah’s chin with the top of his head in the process. maybe he’s unintentionally uncovered something even more interesting than his initial target? “ you haven’t had your first kiss ? ”
“I could charge money for how hard you’re staring at me right now, you know. Have you never seen somebody on a tight schedule before? It’s not always pretty, but one of us has to do it.” Beau’s words are only partially discernible, mouth filled with a comical amount of food. “You’re making me self-conscious.”
instead of becoming embarrassed due to being called out, he barely bats an eye, chin resting comfortably in his hand. “no way you could charge, you’re not doing me a service. but i am willing to pay you to stop looking like such a mess,” mack eventually responds, playful as per usual. “who would’ve thought such a pretty face could look like this?” he coos, going so far as to reach over and pinch one of the other’s cheeks between his fingers. “fine,” he sighs dramatically, “i’ll quit if it bothers you so much.” he closes his eyes (but almost immediately opens one in order to find his sandwich and pick it up) and makes sure to turn his head the other direction.
that does earn casey the reaction he expected in the first place. AUGUST narrows his eyes and punches him in the upper arm; not as roughly as he could. he thinks casey can handle what he’s giving him though…and that may not be just in terms of the pain. “now i’m gonna work extra hard and be twice as hot, so every time you look at me you’ll be so taken that you won’t attack me again.” not that he doesn’t like it. he enjoys the fact that casey can tease and roast so openly, much like AUGUST himself. but there’s a softness in casey that he doesn’t possess. a vulnerability he doesn’t show. perhaps he admires him for it a little…or a lot. is that why he looks at him through such rose-tinted glasses? “probably,” he jokes, though he doesn’t believe that. “but you’re the only one that matters, case.”
when was the last time he and casey had been this close without the tension? even as he waits for the other to move so he can brush his teeth, all AUGUST wants to do is be close enough to kiss again. he’s about to step around him impatiently when his face is suddenly captured between his hands, the fighter’s eyes widening in surprise. he blinks. the normal reaction would be a laugh, maybe a prod in the stomach and an order for casey to go and wait his turn. but waiting a few minutes is still too long for AUGUST. “i don’t get a smooch on the mouth?” he asks instead in a whisper, as though afraid to break the silence. as much as he likes nose kisses, they have nothing on the real deal.
casey supposes it fits that getting away scot-free was too good to be true as he rubs his arm with his best wounded puppy look on his face. eyebrows raise at august’s declaration, incredulity lacing his tone, “ you think i’m that weak ? what, that i’ll swoon on sight or something ? think about it. if you became ugly, i’d take pity on you. ” he takes his pause to consider what the other is saying and he decides that if it happened, it wouldn’t the worst thing in the world; far from it actually. ( just the august being fit part, not the inevitably overworking himself part. ) “ at least i can prepare for it now. ” after showing his true reaction for a moment, which was just smiling dumbly, maybe with some metaphorical heart eyes, casey puts his hands over his heart and grimaces. “ too sappy. i can’t take it ! ”
it’s quiet but he pulls away looking playfully exasperated, “ you already got some. picky, ” but he can indulge a little, he guesses. who knows if this’ll end up being a one night only thing ? casey doesn’t. and maybe he’s a little scared of finding out the answer. “ you don’t wanna … ” he goes in for a highly sought after ‘real’ kiss, a quick one, giving august barely enough time to react, “ save it … ” then another, “ for a goodnight kiss ? ” he leans on the counter after and tries to look unbothered, but as soon as he opens his mouth, he lets out a laugh prefacing what he’s about to say. “ can you take your turn ? i’m waiting. ”
@hvnnn | two a.m. in the convenience store: a popular setting for rumored otherworldly happenings but anais is just here to curb her craving for ramen, in her pjs and all. she’s walking through the aisles, not expecting to see any other shoppers but there a couple are. like a normal person, she feigns minding her own business at first, but of course she notices some things like the strangers’ demeanors, and her interest is piqued. maybe it would’ve been best if she stayed out of the situation, but she isn’t one to let a person get taken advantage of right before her eyes. anais turns towards the two and takes a step closer, “ is everything alright here ? ”
@hvnnn | it’s movie night, and the two are on the couch dealing with the consequences that’ve come from raph picking what to watch. ( the fact that he’s allowed to do anything ever is astounding to say the least. ) the film is horrifically bad, with scenes going on for way longer than they should, including the kissing one right now; it’s gone on for twenty seconds and shows no sign of stopping. raphael’s attention doesn’t waver, though, at least until he turns it towards his friend he’s got his head in the lap of, eyes glancing up once before going back to the screen. “ is it always like that ? ” he asks, assuming that the other has been kissed, unlike him, since practically everyone he knows has. it doesn’t bother him much ... but he also tries not to think about it too much ( a running theme for the boy ). his expression morphs into one that’s both amused and slightly repelled, “ the sounds they’re making ... kinda gross. ”
“you got a better alternative?” love pouts, obviously not wanting to think about the logic behind his plan, because there is none. he listens to jihae’s dramatic words with the pout never leaving his lips, poking at his fries. “i’ll let you have some if you stop being an asshole.” he stabs the fork at the food until there’s a good amount on it before he lifts it up to jihae’s mouth, his eyebrows raised. “open wide, then.” love’s expression changes to one as sweet as ever, his tone sing-song-y. “and i might even have a taste of that, if i can close my eyes before i put it in my mouth.”
jihae hums, eyes flitting to the side while he feigns innocence. “ a less desirable one … ” for me, at least, he fails to add. “ asshole ?! ” he splutters. “ i thought i was being endearing … ” if he hadn’t been talking so much, he might’ve tried another bite from his plate but at the moment it sits forgotten. “ ah, love … ” he groans at the instruction to be fed, leaning back in his chair and stretching his arms as a ploy for sneaking a glance around, trying not to seem self-conscious but, well. masculinity is a fragile thing sometimes. “ fine, ” jihae surrenders after a few moments, straightening back up and taking the food. ready for some payback, he mirrors the other’s previous actions, snicker bubbling up. “ close your eyes, it’s your turn ! ”
“you saying i should work out more? i can do that…” AUGUST looks down at his own arms, reaching up to feel his left bicep with a little pout on his lips. he knows casey is teasing (…right?…) and he’s not exactly insecure, but now he’s wondering…does it help? looking like a scrawny kid? he guesses his opponents let their guard down because of it, and maybe his wins have all to do with that and nothing to do with his actual skills. “hmm…that’s mean. i’ve plenty of friends, thank you, and it’s easy making them too.” he beams, as if he’s telling the truth. it was a lot harder when he started out, sure. but the friends he does have aren’t really friends. they’re people who need or want help, mostly, with a couple who genuinely like him somewhere in-between. AUGUST can’t risk trusting each and every one of them, however.
of course he’s not going to stick around casey’s room. it’s only a way to get him to go to sleep and maybe sneak in a kiss or two before he leaves. it’s late and if he can’t fall asleep yet, all he has to do is wait until his friend has passed out. then, and only then, will AUGUST feel comfortable enough leaving for real…even though casey did ask him specifically not to do that. “alright, doc, alright. no fighting tonight. just napping, i swear.” he follows behind casually, letting the other drag him all the way into the bathroom. “whoa…then you better get out of the way so i can do this fast. i want all the kisses i can get in the next ten minutes.”
if he’s being honest, casey doesn’t expect the reaction he gets from august, thinking he’d receive something more along the lines of playful annoyance, maybe a punch or something that’d make him regret saying anything. now he regrets it for a whole different reason ( an exaggeration, perhaps … it’s nothing he can’t fix ). he tsks in disapproval, reaching out to thumb at the pout on the other’s lips, “ noo, that’s not what i meant. i’m teasing, i’m sorry. but i only said it because you were … hm … ” he pretends to consider what it was before giving a pointed look, “ showing off. ” and so the big descriptor is brought up again. ‘ mean. ’ “ what, you can dish it but you can’t take it ? ” he’s more playful at this point, smile languid. “ i believe you, o friendly one, ” is his reassurance, wording it like the dork he is. “ you probably have more friends than me. ”
he’s none the wiser. just tries to remember if he washed his guest bedding. covers his mouth to conceal his smile, doing a little nose exhale laugh. how is he expected to go to sleep at a time like this ? lying in bed awake for a few hours and thinking about things is likely what casey will be doing. “ be my guest, ” he complies and steps aside, deciding to take his contacts out first so they don’t have to fight over the sink. possibly spurred on by the fact that it’ll be difficult to decipher august’s expressions due to him being farsighted, he takes the boy’s face in his hands, looking him in the eyes and squinting just a tad before he pecks his nose. “ i lied. ”
kade liao / twenty one / bisexual / rich kid / the philophobe / pinterest.
like to plot
hellO so this is kade he a junior at yale university
his major is biology n he’s lookin to be a doctor which his family surprisingly doesn’t approve of ? ( can’t relate ) they wanted him to continue the family business but alas ……………
what is the family business u likely didn’t ask ? so his dad owns a big company ……….. uh we’ll say … . the equivalent of OOH home depot , love that place , anyways & his mom doesn’t work
BUT that’s just what they do in the public eye , the REAL family business is committing crimes to get more money bc yea they got home depot but it’s no walmart u kno ? they greedy they want it ALL
they roped kade into it when he was like . .. 13 ? they didn’t have him do much & ofc he didn’t like know the full weight of what was going on his parents veiled everything
he’s an only child btw
but yea by the time he was 17 he was like full on breaking into some rich person’s house & stealing valuables u kno ?
he didn’t feel right doing it but his parents .. were & still are super manipulative , they always made him feel like he was a burden & made him want to prove that he was good enough for them
even though sticking w/ them is a big internal conflict for him , kade’s still there & still helps them bc he thinks he’s dependent on them ……. they provide everything for him & he doesn’t think he’d be able to survive w/out that
so Yea ! since his family is Shit he kinda feels like he’s unlovable n that no one loves him
which is why he doesn’t even try w/ relationships he’d be like ‘u love me ? quit playing !’
onto lighter topics ………
a lil bit of a fuckboy … he’s a horny lil shit u kno !
mostly tops but like if u fight him he’ll bottom …. fjdksl
if u tell him a secret u may as well have just told everyone about it yourself bc he’s . the Worst & will tell
he likes to put off this aura that he thinks he’s the best & above everyone else , & he’s generally super bossy , he does this bc when he’s w/ his parents he feels . Bad & not the best , and . they tell him what to do so !
not rlly . Poised ……. ig the best visual representation of this wld be like him putting his feet up on whatever like he wants ppl to kno that he does Not care
he can be pretty Rude ….. . i think he’s like this as a way to unconsciously push people away .. so many of the relationships he’s had have ended up bad & he doesn’t even want to give people a chance anymore
super indifferent about a lotta stuff …………. like he’s managed to avoid going to PRISON , who cares abt his final 2morrow ?
the reason why he decided to pursue being a doctor is not that deep rlly he just wanted a career that wasn’t business/finance-related but still made bank …… plus he’s worried his family will manipulate him into changing his mind at one point but like if med school has already been paid for , maybe they’ll Cease .. it’s all abt the $$ !
he’s loyal until he drops you whoops !
i unintentionally gave him a v black aesthetic ………… but Yea , she fits
before i gave him substance i kinda hated him ….. but now i like him ( but like he still deserves 2 be destroyed a lil u feel me )
scout oh / twenty two / bisexual / piano teacher / the scaredy cat / pinterest.
like to plot
ok hewwo this my sad soft son scout
i’m gnna start w/ kind of the turning point of his backstory .. two years ago scout had a bf , they were living together so u can kinda gauge how serious their relationship was by that jfksljf but they had a fight at their place one night & his bf drove off to cool down .. he was killed in a car accident that night( wow i lov pullin out some ugli cliches fjkdslfj )
so uh yeah ! here scout is now , still grieving but generally fine ( on the outside at least ) & on the inside………… he blames himself 100% huh !
he always talks about yearning to move but if someone asks why he doesn’t just do it, he’ll make up an excuse ( the reason he wants to stay that he hasn’t quite admitted to himself yet is that if he leaves he feels as though he’ll leave the memory of his bf behind )
he’s really let the event consume him tbh. there’s not a day he doesn’t think about it, & he lets the guilt of it get in the way of interacting w/ people, pursuing opportunities, etc. etc.
also people generally just know that his bf died in a car accident .. they don’t know what happened before ya feel
but anyways !
he can be quite timid, doesn’t talk much in group settings unless he's close w/ the others
he smokes :/ don’t do it friends
truly a soft bb ..?? JFKSLJDL this is p much what people assume of him too from appearance & first impressions but he has his pessimistic moments ………… he’s just a v regretful person
often he’ll try to take back things he says or ‘ never mind ’ them away
ok time for the romantic & sexual interaction bullet bc i jus thought of it ( he’s bi btw lol ) so like bc of the event he doesn’t wanna let anyone in romantically ( hehe angst ) but he’s fine w/ sexual encounters, so anyways, when he’s not refusing things he’s like . a blushing mess 24/7 jfdklsfjdsl prepare for some awkward high school type bs if your char goes down either road ( unless they’re not like him & . take the reins JFKDSLJFKSL ooh sexi )
has dumb replacements for swear words fjdsl
a 5′5″ ( 165 cm lol yw ) boi pls help him get things off the top shelf …….. he won’t ask fjdskl
a GRANDPA when it comes to technology …………… like honest to god uses internet explorer & shit , people have told him how to download google chrome over the phone but he wants someone to come over & do it for him
altho he does hav a wii & a ds he likes to play sometimes
introverted & so he values his alone time , not one of those people who’s afraid to do things like eat out alone
ok yea his job!! so he is a piano teacher , but he also has a couple voice students & he does house calls so he runs around all day to each student’s house ( i say run around but he has a car jfkdsl )
he has dyslexia which doesn’t affect him much now but it was one of the things that motivated him to choose the job he has so
hello everyone ! i hope y’all had a wonderful holiday season ! merry christmas, happy hanukah, happy kwanza and all that jazz ! anyways, since it’s the start of the new year, i wanted to put out this lil’ follow forever to show my appreciation and luv hehe ! moving on forward !
also ! to everyone ( mutuals and non mutuals alike ), i hope you have have a wonderful year ahead ! knocking on wood that all your new years resolutions get completed and that your year is filled with happiness and comfort and positivity !
ps ! i’m so sorry to those who aren’t on the list ! i most likely missed your name by memory. but regardless whether you’re on this list or not, i do hope to interact w/ you and rp w/ you more throughout this upcoming year.
“fans?” he supposes he does. they’re not the typical find of fans, jumping over him like they would celebrities. it’s not like he is one. “people that admire my skills, maybe,” AUGUST flexes playfully, wiggling his eyebrows at the other. “and these. these might get you some fans, too…so you might have to fight to keep your place as my biggest fan, case. do you think you’re up to the challenge?” AUGUST wouldn’t let anybody surpass him on that list, but hypothetically speaking… “well, it wouldn’t do me any favours if i walked in there looking like i don’t know what i’m doing. and if i’m not too friendly, people won’t wanna know what i’m like outside of the cage. think about what that would do for my personal life.”
he’s okay with nothing? that’s a first – and also for the first time, AUGUST doesn’t mind. he quite likes the idea of nothing. he’s tired although doesn’t look it, but casey is more obviously worn out than he is. “g’night!” AUGUST’s fake, cheery voice accompanies a light push towards the door, but his grip on casey’s hand is too tight to send him flying back without him. “’suppose i can tuck you in, though, since you’ve been so good yourself.” he grabs the other hand too so he can move casey properly, backwards, slowly so he doesn’t bump into anything on the way out. “are you gonna turn around any time soon or shall i carry you up too?”
flexing … he was not about to let august do that and get off scot-free. “ you sure about that ? i don’t even know what i’m looking at here ... ” casey squints at the other’s arm, seemingly puzzled. “ oh, i’m not worried. i think i’m in a pretty secure position. ” quirking his eyebrows, he gives him a lofty smile. “ no mercy, huh ? do you have a lot of friends from fighting ? i didn’t think you would. not that i think you’re bad at making friends … ” he trails off into a snort.
after making a noise of indignation while being pushed, he’s in the process of making puppy dog eyes before he pauses. casey’s not expecting him to suggest coming to his room with him but he’s not opposed to the idea. it’s likely for the best anyway since the only bathroom is attached to his bedroom, and it gives august a chance to use it before casey goes to bed. “ shut up, ” he complains about the praise before loosening their hold so he can turn, but drapes august’s arms over his shoulders after he does so. “ c’mon, auggie... nothing more strenuous tonight. doctor’s orders, ” casey grins at him, tongue between his teeth as he leads the way to his room, which is somewhat messy but not a complete disaster zone. like, there’s clothes on the floor, but they have a designated area. his unmade bed is ignored in favor of the bathroom. “ no more kisses ‘til you brush your teeth ! ”
AUGUST enjoys it. fighting. he thinks it relieves stress although in the moment he supposes most people do stress. initially the need to fight was because he wanted to feel something other than numb, and the truth is his pain tolerance is unusually high. so that doesn’t work. but at least he can forget about all the university deadlines and personal life things he has to deal with, even if it’s just for a few hours a night. “uh, i’ll have you know cockiness is a turn on at these types of events! turn up to a fight grinning and everyone just falls at your feet.” it’s not entirely a joke. there are people, either fans or total newbies but nobody in-between. and they almost always scream something that makes even AUGUST stop and stare for a few moments, embarrassed. “not easy, but…worth it. i promise.” it’s worth his studies.
“nope! nothing,” but he leans in for a kiss anyway and he’s lost count of how many they’ve already shared, because it’s a lot easier just to kiss and not think about it too much. the next time casey speaks, AUGUST’s face is still close to his. he raises a finger to his lips to shut him up. “nuh-uh. it’s okay. you should sleep. you look really tired. don’t you have work tomorrow? you can’t rock up with these,” he runs his fingertips gently over the bags under casey’s eyes. “and i still need to clean up after your messy ass.” or, rather, his own. but he’s never let casey do things like this on his own, not when he’s the cause of them. “i like hanging out with you too. i’d like it a lot more if you were rested when we did, though. and if you rest up quickly, i might be able to see you before you leave in the morning, not when you come home at night.” or days later, once they finally make some more time for each other. “i think you should reassess. don’t you?”
casey snorts childishly at the choice of words but unfortunately only looking more delighted as he starts firing off questions. “ do you have lots of fans ? what kinds of fans do you have ? but no matter what anyone else says, i’m definitely your biggest fan. ” laughter comes shortly after the poking fun. though it can’t be very accurate to real life and he knows that, he can’t help but imagine a concert-esque atmosphere, with fans fawning all over august and swooning, and he finds it really funny. “ i can believe that. image matters, right ? ” he eventually gives a more serious inquiry. “ good, ” he says simply but smiles warmly, placing a kiss on the other’s nose.
“ mm. nothing, ” is repeated contemplatively, eyes still closed from the kiss. “ i’m okay with nothing. ” it’s uncharacteristic of him because he loves to practically smother the other with excessive offers of more, more, more, but right now he’s okay with the alternative. regarding the kisses as nothing is another story, but one for another time. less than happy at being quieted ( especially since it wasn’t done with a kiss; missed opportunity ), casey doesn’t fuss but takes the hand on his face between his own, playing with it as he listens. “ just leave it. i’ll get it tomorrow, ” he says as a last-stitch effort, but at this point he’d be more surprised if he came down the next morning and found that august had listened to him. “ alright, i’m going … but only after you say good night to me, ” he insists, taking a backwards step to the door but not letting go of august’s hand. “ okay, i admit it, ” he goes so far as pretending to gag before choking out, “ you’ve been good. is that what you wanted ? ”
