WEBHEAD

"did you just check that watch to see if i was a skrull?" "yep." "...why?" "because you're either an alien, or the oddest man i've ever met."

[peterfour]

Truth be told... I don't know how Aunt May put up with me.

► GENERAL INFORMATION

FULL NAME & ALIAS: peter benjamin parker / spider-man CURRENT TEAM(S): order of the web PREVIOUS ALIASES: none AGE: 30′s SPECIES: human ( + bitten by a radioactive spider ) MULTIVERSAL ORIGIN: earth-616 GENDER IDENTITY: cisgendered male SEXUALITY: nervous bisexual NATIONALITY: american ETHNICITY: white

► APPEARANCE

FACE CLAIM: jack quaid SPECIAL / RECOGNIZABLE FEATURES: he’s tall as shit HAIR COLOR: brown EYE COLOR: blue ACCENT: slight new york accent ( it’s softened with age / gets worse when he’s drunk ) CURRENT COSTUME: 616 suit

► BACKGROUND

CURRENT HOME: a small apartment in manhattan ( but he’s planning on finding a place together with mj very soon ) PAST OCCUPATION: inventor, bodyguard, mechanic, mascot, special class guidance counselor, creative engineer, assistant high school coach, high school science teacher, student, wrestler, fugitive CURRENT OCCUPATION: vigilante ( still spiderman-ing of course ), photographer ( mostly for fun ), president of the uncle ben foundation ( he’s just on the advisory board, they don’t need his help very often, they’re extremely capable ), research scientist / teaching assistant ( the students totally love him. totally. ) SNAP STATUS: survived in another reality

► RELATIONS

SIBLING(S): teresa parker ( alleged sister ), should we count the smattering of clones? PARTNER(S): mary-jane watson ( long time girlfriend ) CHILDREN: none PARENT(S): richard and mary parker ( both deceased )

► HEADCANONS/FUN FACTS

sometimes he goes commando in the suit.

he strongly dislikes mayonnaise.

he knows how to pick locks - felicia even gifted him a lock-picking set at one point.

he’s a libra.

he’s an avid stardew valley enthusiast ( he frequents the subreddit for tips and advice ).

his favorite food ( currently ) is the vegetable lo mein from the chinese place near his apartment, little hunan.

he is the tallest peter parker, standing at 6′1″.

he has a fake peter parker stan account on twitter.

he was absolutely a theater kid in high school and his best, most well known role, was villager #2 in a production of beauty and the beast. he had one line.

he’s very very bad at answering text messages.

a regular, avid napper, his favorite place to do so is atop this one italian restaurant near his apartment. it smells amazing and they always play the most relaxing music. the owners know he does this, and know to leave him be when he’s there. ( you’ll frequently find him asleep in his suit with a piece of complementary garlic bread on his chest. )

► WANTED CONNECTIONS

harry osborn ( 616 ) - bestie ben reilly-parker ( 616 ) - clone bro kaine parker ( 616 ) - evil clone bro doc ock, norman osborn, etc. ( 616 ) - any spidey villains could be fun too!

[peterfour]

@destroyrofworlds continued from here

“oh, well, forgive me for thinking we were celebrating my triumphant return to the land of the living,” he jokes, the palms of both hands coming to rest on the counter in front of him with a light smack.

he moves to stand up, eyeing the fridge from across the room as he wonders what other prizes it may hold, but he catches daisy’s eye as he does so, can tell that this is still just as strange for her as it is for him. one hand reaches forward to take her free hand in his own.

“hey, i swear i’m me. i’m back, for good. promise. i don’t know how much you trust me right now, god knows i’d have my doubts too – i don’t know how exactly it happened, but all i know is i sure as hell am not gonna question it.”

the words are punctuated with a hopeful smile as he stands, making his way toward the fridge, “got anything good in here? if we’re getting wine drunk, there’s gotta be a worthy pairing in here somewhere.” he holds up a box, “pizza rolls? tempting.”

[mechanizedstark]

"What, aren't you happy to be back? Learn to relax a little, won't ya?"

[peterfour]

“a little hard to relax in this line of work if i’m being completely honest. especially not now. not when avengers are getting blown up, and x-men are picking fights in times square.”

[spiider-dad]

"The way you scrinch your face up kinda gives it away, you know. My wife says I do the same thing. Did it make me stop doing it? No, no of course not. But I recognize it in other people now, which is fun I guess."

[peterfour]

there’s a beat, a moment of silence before he reluctantly lets the muscles in his face relax, forces himself to return to a more neutral state. “oh yeah? really curious to learn what other peter-isms we all share,” his tone is dry, but any ounce of remaining sarcasm seeps out of his words as he gives the other peter a tired, half amused smile.

[spiderxling]

"Oh." Peter's lips flattened into a straight line and then he nodded in understanding. "May always used to say I wasn't a very good liar— I get it now. You alright?"

[peterfour]

peter swallows harshly, giving the other a tired nod to mask the quick once over he does in a panic at the feeling of wrongness that he can’t shake, “ha, yeah sure. no, i’m fine. promise, dude.”

[scarletspiider]

"Yeah." Kaine gave Peter a light shoulder squeeze, then cleared his throat and backed away. "It's like your senses have to re-calibrate, right? It's a huge pain in the ass."

[peterfour]

it’s like everything’s been turned up to eleven. the squeeze of peter’s shoulder is too tight, kaine’s voice is too loud, it’s too hot, everything’s too too much – peter shakes his head, letting out a slow, deep breath.

“god yeah, you have no idea. and so much has been happening, i’ve barely had time to stop and think. i mean, mj and i haven’t even –” he trails off.

[moonsquires]

"Did you also lose your ability to lie when that spider bit you?"

[peterfour]

"did you lose your ability to understand sarcasm when you– when you- turned blue? have you always been blue? i have no idea."

[peterfour]

"yeah thanks," he deadpans, a few slow blinks interrupting his words, "are you telling me you legitimately haven't noticed anything off since that explosion?"

[galacticrocket]

"oh really? wow, that's just great! guess i'll just take my team and fly back into space! since we're not needed or nothin'."

[peterfour]

"i don't know if meeting my sarcasm with more sarcasm is the best idea," there's a tired exhale, the smallest inkling of a smile as he speaks, "i'm floundering here a little bit, man."

[jchnnytorch]

“You’re doing a shitty job at convincing me, bro. You’re doing this weird thing with your jaw as you talk like everything’s not great.”

[peterfour]

there's a pause as he unclenches his jaw, "got it. message received."

[peterfour]

“shit — yes, hi. sue storm, right?” he awkwardly moves to offer up a hand for her to shake before deciding that’s much too formal and reverts to stuffing them back into the pockets of his ratty old jacket. “i’m okay, really,” is he though? “just a lot of stuff going on, you know? and i’m peter— totally forgot to say - peter parker.”

[peterfour]

peter blinks, lets out a slow, shaky breath and a tired laugh, “yeah — too long.” he pauses, sits in silence for a few more moments before turning back to jessica, “has everything felt off to you too? like- ever since coming back, it’s like my brain won’t stop screaming at me."

[peterfour]

“i don’t get where you’re going with this," peter raised an eyebrow, "but i wish i could. can't exactly turn it off, if you know what i mean."

[peterfour]

"i'm sorry– ?" he shrugged, one hand moving to scratch at the back of his neck as he let out a slight exhale in awkward amusement. peter took a half step backwards as tandy moved, in fear he might be smacked on the arm.

"i'm glad to see you too, tandy – i'm kinda desperately in need of some familiar faces right now."

[peterfour]

"everything's greaaat," he waved both hands sarcastically, "how was that? now, is this you implying you also think everyone's acting super strange? because i seriously can't be the only one."

[peterfour]

"you know, you're not wrong," letting out a tired sigh, peter's shoulders slumped. the 'alternate universe child' was wild enough as is, but learning how certain aspects of annie's universe mirrored his own was becoming stranger by the second.

[destroyrofworlds]

@peterfour​

“—I’m sorry, I really wanna just catch up with you like everything is normal, but I.. You were dead. MJ broke the news and we cried together about how you were never coming back and you’re here. And alive.” Daisy was also dealing with Pleasant Hill’s backlash and potentially being fired at the time, so her grieving process was already all over the place. And now Peter was back, she was the Director of S.H.I.E.L.D., and someone was trying to kill them all.

She didn’t get to talk to him much before the explosion, and then that occupied her time almost nonstop for the past couple of weeks. They were finally sitting down in her apartment (that she was basically sharing with Roz at this point), a bottle of wine in front of them and the TV playing quiet background noise as she stared at him from across her kitchen counter in disbelief. 

It didn’t take her long to uncork the bottle and take a long swig straight from the neck before she practically slammed it down onto the counter and swallowed thickly. “I’m not like.. imagining you, am I? You’re seriously here? Because I swear to God, Peter, if you’re some kind of Spider Force Ghost or something right now I’m gonna kill you all over again before this mystery bomber does.”

[peterfour]

everything was back to normal. well, relatively normal — if that could even be said. as much as peter wanted to jump back into things and continue with life like nothing had happened, he had died. he'd been erased from existence.

severed from the web of life, a voice echoed in his head.

peter flinched ever so slightly as the bottle made contact with the countertop.

"nope, definitely not imagining things," he shook his head, one hand moving to take the bottle from daisy's grasp and tip it up to his lips as well. he wasn't necessarily a wine guy, but if he had to choose between this and something like, say tequila, the wine hangover was infinitely preferable.

as his thoughts drifted back to the present, he couldn't help but begin to dwell on everything that had happened, everything they were currently dealing with, and everything that might occur in the near future.

another particularly large swig of wine helped.

"you know, you're gonna need a hell of a lot more of this if you really wanna get me drunk," he let out a tired chuckle, but the amusement was completely genuine.