Here for the Angst

[my-imagines-moonlight53]

I Can Make You Happier | Bucky Barnes x Reader

trigger warning: physical abuse Soulmate AU where people are born with matching tattoos that light up when they meet their soulmate, and turn black when one dies. —————————————

You were arriving to your room in the tower, making sure that you were quiet when arriving on your floor, not wanting to wake up any of your floormates, especially one in particular. You were reaching into your bag trying to find your keys, something that was a bit difficult because your hands couldn’t stop shaking, not sure if it was because of the cold or something else. Just as your fingers brushed against the cold metal keys, your bag fell, dropping all the contents on the floor with a loud clash.

You quickly went to pick everything up, shoving things into your bag and quickly searching through the mess for your keys, but the moment you heard a door open you froze. You looked up towards the open door meeting the icy blue eyes of your floor mate, Bucky Barnes. You quickly looked down, trying to pretend that everything was normal, but your shaking hands were making it hard to keep your façade.

“(Y/N), I thought you weren’t coming today?” he said seeing you on the floor, “thought you were staying the night with Todd.”

“Yea just thought it would be better if I came back home,” you responded still looking down trying to come off as normal, despite your voice wanting to crack, “Todd a few thing to take care of in the morning”

“Oh,” catching that something was wrong, “here let me help,” he added, his hands coming into view, letting you perfectly see the intricate swirls of his soulmate tattoo that was now black, as his eyes landed on your red soulmate tattoo on your forearm. His metal hand brushed against your own, but unlike other people, you never pulled away, making him actually feel normal and human for a change.

“I’m fine Bucky, just go back inside!” hoping that your words didn’t sound too harsh to him as they sounded to you.

Bucky was a bit surprised, since you never really raised your voice at him, actually since you joined the team, and you were actually one to defend him when the others gave him a tough time. “Are you alright (Y/N), did something happen with you and Todd?” he asked hoping that he wasn’t treading on a sensitive topic, bringing up your soulmate.

“Nothing, everything is fine,” you responded, trying to keep yourself from breaking down.

You were at this point looking for your keys that were nowhere to be found. A jingle noise was in front of your face, but the last thing you wanted was for him to see your face, because you already knew what reaction he was going to get. So instead you kept your head fixed on the ground, thinking of something to get you out of this mess.  

Bucky immediately knew something was wrong, when you didn’t reach for your keys. You were still, your body tense, he looked down at your hands and noticed that your fists were clenched, the skin around your knuckles taut.

“(Y/N)?” worry laced into his voice.

You let out a sigh as you finally looked up at him and the moment he saw your face his heart nearly broke, nearly dropping the keys again in shock. There on your cheeks was a large forming bruise, the swelling still there, and to top it off your eyes were bloodshot and puffy, that he couldn’t even begin to imagine how long you had been crying.

“(Y/N),” he whispered his metal hand reaching out to touch the bruise but you quickly pulled away and snatching your keys in the process, hoping that no one else would leave their room and see you like this.  

You were about to close it when a silver hand caught the door, keeping you from shutting it, “Bucky just leave me alone,” your voice reflecting how much you really didn’t want to have this conversation.

“I can’t do that, not after he did that to you,” he said his eyes meeting yours through the opened space.

“It’s not a big deal, Todd didn’t mean it,” turning around and letting your back meet the door, wanting to sound as convincing as possible, but right now, you weren’t even sure you could convince yourself of that.

“That’s what you said last week, and I won’t even begin to count how many times before that,” his voice becoming softer, making you feel worse and wished you didn’t drop your stuff to avoid this conversation, “please (Y/N), just let me in, at least let me make sure that you’re ok, you know that I won’t leave until I do that,” he insisted.

You sighed, knowing that he was right, remembering that one time he stayed outside your door the whole night, making the morning conversation in the tower more awkward than it needed to. You stepped away from the door and Bucky let himself in, already heading to your bathroom to fetch the well-used first aid kit, the one that he made especially for these reasons, and not the large one that was used for him when he came back from dangerous missions.

You quickly went to change into comfier clothing, which would either be Steve or Bucky’s larger framed shirts, but right now the only one at hand was one that you had personally stole from Bucky, a large black shirt with large white letters spelling out ‘BROOKLYN’. You made your way into the living room, seeing Bucky pulling out a few things out of the kit.  

“Sit,” he announced.

You complied, making sure to angle your face so he wouldn’t see the bruise, because having his steel blue eyes stare at it again, made it more real, reminding you that he did in fact hit you…again. It made you feel worse about yourself, and you could already recite the lecture that Bucky was sure to give you.  

“It really isn’t that bad,” you hoped that he would just drop the conversation and leave.

“(Y/N), let me see it please,” his hand resting on yours, coaxing you to listen, just wanting to make sure that you really were ok, “just let me take care of it and I’ll leave I promise,” his hand rubbing soothing circles, coaxing you even further.

You looked at him, the bright light of your living room letting him fully see the damage that your boyfriend left on your face. The swelling hadn’t gotten any better, and in this light he was able to see the various shades of the bruise; it didn’t make him feel any better. Your lip was slightly busted and it was the first thing that he worked on, because he didn’t want to look at your bruised face since he failed to protect you…again.

He pressed the small alcohol pad against your lip, apologizing to you when he heard you hiss from the stinging sensation. Bucky let his thumb sooth your lip, his mind wondering how anyone could even think about hurting you, especially if that person was their soulmate. You on the other hand were holding back tears, because right now seeing that look on Bucky’s face made you feel worse, wishing that he never saw you.

Bucky started to work on your bruise being gentle as possible, not wanting to hurt you any more than you already were. He gently applied a numbing lotion to dull the pain noting how the heat of the pain was there and didn’t like how you shut your eyes in pain.  

He was a bit relieved that you weren’t hurt anywhere else, but it was taking him a lot of will power for him not to go to your boyfriend’s house and beat him up for what he did today and all those other times as well. He was starting to put things away and when he came back, he noticed that you were still not moving. The skin around your knuckles taut, clenching into a fist, biting back the tears that you told yourself you wouldn’t shed.

“(Y/N) I know that you don’t want to hear it, but Todd isn’t good for you,” he started as he sat down next to you, “I care about you (Y/N) and you don’t deserve any of this,” bringing you into a much needed hug, hoping to heal the pain that you felt emotionally.

“but he’s my soulmate, we have the same tattoo and it changed when I met him,” you said referring to the intricate swirls of your mark, that was a perfect match to Todd’s, “how can I leave him, when apparently he’s what’s destined for me,” leaning more into Bucky, wanting him to bear your burdens at this very moment, because you weren’t sure how long it would be before you broke down.

Bucky stared back down at his own tattoo, it was black, the meaning that his soulmate had died. He remembered that before he became the winter soldier, he never met his soulmate and when he recovered from being the winter soldier and free from hydra’s grasp, his soulmate tattoo had been black, and would never get the chance to meet his soulmate. Yours however was a bright red color, a perfect match with your ‘perfect match’.

“(Y/N), soulmate or not, you don’t deserve this,” pressing a kiss on the side of your head, wishing that you could see things like the way he does and see that this relationship isn’t healthy for you.

“He’ll change, I know he will, the last time he did this was almost two weeks ago, and I made him mad,” feelings of guilt taking over your body for the umpteenth time that day.

“He shouldn’t have done it to begin with, and you said he would stop, but he still does this. And none of this is your fault doll, don’t you dare blame yourself for his mistakes” his metal hand slowly grasping yours, yet right now even his bionic hand felt warmer yours. It was funny how such a strong metal hand that can dent almost every metal could treat you gentler than the ones of your soulmate.

“Bucky, he’s my soulmate that has to count for something doesn’t it?” you looked up at him, not sure what do and you were sure when to start, “it’s just everyone that meets their soulmates are so happy, maybe I just have to wait a bit, I mean it has to happen right…” you stopped speaking as a warm hand wiped away your tears that you didn’t even know you were shedding, “I mean soulmates are supposed to make your happy right?”

He brought you onto his lap, making the weight in your chest grow heavier. You knew that you shouldn’t feel guilty, it wasn’t your fault, you’ve done nothing wrong…yet you couldn’t shake the feeling that this was your fault, that same thought running over and over since you left his house. You thought if maybe you hadn’t said something to Todd, it wouldn’t have sparked his anger.  

Bucky treated you differently; he made you feel like you were made of glass, not because you were weak, but because you were something precious that he wants to treasure. You would never be able to repay Bucky in a lifetime for the way he makes you feel strong, safe, and just someone that mattered. You wrapped your arms around his neck, finally letting yourself break, since he was always the one to put back the pieces of your broken self.  

You wished that you could see things his way, but the tattoo on your arm didn’t match Bucky, it matched Todd, he was your soulmate whether you liked it or not. Maybe if you stayed with him long enough, you’ll finally be able to find the happiness that soulmates are promised to bring, it was that simple right. That’s what you’ve been led to believe, your parents were soulmates and were happy, those in your family were happy too, you have yet to see anyone unhappy with their soulmate, so why weren’t you? Did you do something wrong?

“Let it out doll, I’ll be here”, his hand rubbing your back, pulling your closer, his scent at this point was home to you, after being in his arms so often.

“I know, you’re too good to me Bucky,” you said hoping you didn’t look too bad even though you knew that Bucky wouldn’t care.

“You’re too good to me too” he said kissing your forehead, making your heart flutter something that you rarely felt with your soulmate, yet it was so easy for Bucky to do.

“You know, sometimes I wish you were my soulmate,” your fingers drawing random shapes on his chest, “it would make things so much easier,” your face burning up as you voiced that, hoping it wouldn’t make things awkward because right now Bucky was one of the few people that kept you sane.

“Maybe if you had been born in the same time it could’ve been possible. But I don’t think this soulmate thing, took into consideration that people would end up out of their original time,” he said with a smile hoping that he could lift your spirits.

“I think it would have been easier if you had been born in my time, I don’t think I would have survived in the 40s, I’m too dependent on technology,” you joked.

“You know there’s more to do then just check your phone (Y/N),” he said with a smile, glad that you were finally smiling again.

“Like what?” forgetting your worries a bit.

“Movies, staring up at the stars, and lots and lots of dancing,” trying to think back to his old life.

“I don’t dance Bucky, you know that better than anyone else,” you responded.

“Would have taught you myself darling, that way you would’ve never been out of my sight. I wouldn’t want people to steal you away from me,” he said with a laugh but meaning every word that he said.

You laughed, making him glad that he cheered you up. He loved seeing your smile thinking that it could light up the whole room, and selfishly loving that it was there because of him.  He looked up at the clock knowing that you both needed sleep, especially when you rested your head on his chest, your eyelids slowly drooping, wanting to stay awake.

“You should get some sleep,” he said lifting you with ease, as he took you to your room, carefully placing you under the cover.

“I’m sorry for waking you up Bucky,” you said as you settled in your bed.

“You never need to apologize for that doll,” he said with a smile placing a kiss on your forehead making your heart race yet again.

You wanted him to stay; wanting him to hold you close as you fell asleep, but you weren’t sure if that would be such a good thing. You were vulnerable and didn’t want to confess something that could change the next morning, he didn’t deserve false hopes. You wished him a good night, thanking him again for looking out for you and he told you it wasn’t a big deal. With each step that he took closer to your bedroom door, the more you wanted him to stay, but you kept quiet.  

“(Y/N),” he called out. You hummed, letting him know that he had your attention, “you know there’s nothing wrong with choosing who or what makes you happy, even if that person isn’t your soulmate,” his icy blue eyes staring directly into your eyes.

“Bucky,” his name involuntarily leaving your lips, so unsure of what to say.

“your allowed to be happy with whoever you want, you shouldn’t feel forced to love someone,” his eyes never leaving yours, “no one would judge you if it meant your happiness…just think about that ok,” his words making your mouth run dry that you wondered when he became so insightful.

You nodded, whispered good night, but right now with the way your heart was racing, you weren’t easily going to fall asleep. A single thought consumed your mind: it would be so much easier if Bucky was your soulmate, because then you wouldn’t feel so guilty for feeling more for Bucky than your own soulmate. You also wouldn’t feel guilty because of the dreams you had. The dreams where Bucky and you had matching soulmate tattoos, the dreams where you could freely love Bucky. The same dreams that when you woke up, only consumed you with guilt because you wanted someone else that wasn’t your soulmate.  

It had been a week later and you have yet to see Todd, there were countless unread texts of him saying that he was sorry and didn’t mean to hit you, and many other things that he’s said before. Your kind nature wanted to forgive him and try to mend things like always, but this time Bucky made sure that you wouldn’t text him back, saying that the least he could do is come here and apologize in person.  

Your bruises were fading, the faint marks now easily concealed by makeup, making it easier to get things back to normal.  You were in the kitchen, everyone else besides Bucky were out enjoying the rare moments that they weren’t plagued by an outer worldly threat or any threat in general, and enjoying their time off missions. Bucky however stayed to cross off things the list that Steve had made for him, the same list of things that Steve had used to catch him up to modern times, hoping that Bucky wouldn’t be as lost as he was.  

You were serving lunch, making sure to add a larger serving for Bucky wanting to surprise him with something home cooked than having him eat something from a take-out. However as you went to serve the food, there was an alert that someone wanted to enter and asking for you, that someone being Todd. Your heart was racing, not out of love but rather out of an unexplained fear.

You allowed him in and then the doors opening to reveal Todd, who was beyond mad.

“Aren’t you going to apologize?” his voice making your anxiety grown, “I’ve called and texted you for days and you don’t even bother to respond”

“You hit me,” trying to think of what to do or even say.

“And I apologized for it but do you care?” approaching you, and took a small step back away from him.

“Bucky said that the least you could do is come and apologize in person,” you said taking a few more steps back only for your back to meet the wall, cornering yourself leaving nowhere to run to.

“Bucky! And why should you care what he thinks?” he angrily stated.

“Because he cares about me,” you admitted, hoping that he wouldn’t step any closer but to your dismay he continues till he is right in front of you, his face angrier than before.

“So he’s the reason you’ve been avoiding me!? Are you cheating on me with him?! do you really think he cares (Y/N), do you really think anyone else but me cares, you’re mine not his, he doesn’t care about you, he just want to get inside your-”

A loud slap filled the room, your hand burning red from the impact already seeing the imprint forming on his cheek; you were choking back tears, but felt brave for the first time when it came to Todd. It was one thing to insult you, but it was a completely different thing when someone insulted those that you cared about, especially Bucky.

“That’s it,” he yelled, raising his hand and pulling it back slightly, a gesture that you hated because it was almost familiar to you.

Your only instinct was to shut your eyes, your body clenching just waiting to feel the force of the impact, but it never came. You slowly opened one eye; in front of you was a silver glistening hand holding Todd’s clenched fist, saving you from having another bruise that would have been worse than the one you got last week. Your eyes traveled up to Bucky, his steel blue eyes fixated on Todd, his eyes were fuming, not believing that he would even think about hurting you…again.

“I think it’s about time you leave, and never came back,” his voice sending shivers down your spine, hoping that you would never be on the receiving end of that voice.

“Last time I checked (Y/N) lives here and she is my soulmate,” showcasing his matching tattoo to Bucky, “so I can be here if I please.”

“Get out! You have no right calling her that, not after the way you treat her!” stepping in between you and Todd, shielding your body from him. Him being here made you feel safer than you were moments ago, and relaxed a bit as you placed your hand on his back, needing the physical reassurance that he was here, needing him to be your support like always. “Now you better leave, before I make you,” his other hand guarding you, keeping you close behind him.

“Why do you even care? She’s not your soulmate, she’s not even that special,” his words making you clench onto Bucky’s shirt, your confidence shattering a bit.

“I know she’s not my soulmate, but I love her, that’s why I care,” he answered, admitting something that he has kept bottled up for who knows how long.

Todd approached him, a large smirk on his face, “too bad she’s not your soulmate,” his smug look even more prominent, “besides do you really think someone like you even knows how to love?’

Todd was about to laugh at his face, till he was stopped by Bucky’s right hand meeting his jaw, the room filling with the sound of his impact. Bucky really wanted to use his left hand, his metal hand, but the last thing he wanted was more blood on his hands.

“Get out,” his voice not leaving room for any negotiation.

Todd stared up at him his jaw already becoming red, slight panic in his face, since he didn’t think Bucky would have the nerve to hit him. he got up and left but just before that he turned seeing your form holding onto Bucky, “(Y/N), have fun with someone that isn’t your soulmate, just know he’s not what’s meant for you, I am. I’m giving you one last chance to come with me, and I’ll forgive you for all of this,” a smug look on his face again, expecting you to follow.

You stared at him, your grip on Bucky’s shirt tightening, not wanting to let go. You looked up at Bucky, his eyes fixed on you, a hint of worry in them, silently pleading for you to stay. You turned back to Todd, waiting for you to join him, to follow what he says like you always do.

You finally let go of Bucky’s shirt, walking towards Todd, a smirk now trained on Bucky that grew larger with each step that you took towards him. Todd wanted to say ‘I told you so’ to Bucky but instead just enjoyed seeing the famous soldier’s heartbroken look. Bucky wanted to reach out towards you, wanting to tell you that you didn’t have to do something you didn’t want to. You could make your own choice, but kept quiet because…maybe this was your choice. You would much rather choose to be with your ‘soulmate’ than him.

You were finally in front of Todd, your eyes looking up at him and noticing his gaze still on Bucky, mocking him almost like if as if he had won some sort of prize,  but maybe that’s all you were to him, an object rather than a person.

You turned to look at Bucky, his eyes meeting yours, his eyes reminding you so much of a lost puppy. He lifted his hand out for you, silently telling you to come back, and be with him. There were endless things Bucky wanted to tell you, but he didn’t know where to start.

You smiled at him, and did the one thing that you have been wanting to do since the moment he got here, you quickly slammed the door shut in his face, telling him to never come back and that you were two were over. You locked the door, letting your back slide down the door, ignoring the shouts on the other side till they died down.  

Bucky was surprised; he slowly approached you, taking a seat next to you. He was glad that you decided to stay, but hopefully that meant that you had chosen him. He brought you into a hug, knowing that you needed it, telling you over and over of how proud he was of you.

“You love me?” you whispered.

“Of course doll,” lifting you onto his lap. You were so vulnerable and pure, tempting him to kiss you so badly, wanting to make that beautiful face turn to one of pleasure, wanting to see it flustered just for him. He wanted to see you come undone under his touch, wanting it so bad that it was almost a need.

He pulled you a bit closer, wanting to groan when he saw you biting your bottom lip, teasing him even more to kiss you senseless, “I’ve been in love with you since the moment you accepted me as just Bucky.”

“You love me even if I’m not your soulmate?” just needing to know what he thought, your heart racing in your chest.

“(Y/N), I don’t need this,” pointing down to the mark on his hand, “to tell me who I can and can’t love. You’re right I’m not your ‘destined’ soulmate, but I can do a far better job than him or anyone else ever could, at giving you the love you deserve,” his hand reaching for yours, intertwining it letting your hand warm up the metal underneath, “but only if you’ll let me,” his voice as soft and sultry.

He leaned his face closer, the tip of his nose brushing against yours, making your breath hitch, something that didn’t go unnoticed by Bucky. The air around you was starting to feel warm, an electric tingle coursing through your body that you wondered if Bucky could feel it too. The small brushes against your nose, making you want to lean into him, needing to close the small gap between your lips. His warm breath, fanned your lips that they only think you could do is to bite down on them to keep yourself from kissing him. You looked back into his sky blue eyes, seeing that there were just a shade darker, his pupils dilated fixed solely on yours. Everything about him entranced you further, when at this point it was unnecessary because you were already trapped.

You were caught and no intention of leaving.  

You nodded, placing your hands on his chest, steadying yourself as you closed the small space between yours and Bucky’s lips. There were no fireworks or explosion like the way people describe it, but there was one thing you did feel…complete. You felt that this was where you belonged, his kiss made you feel loved, cherished, and happy. You finally let yourself give into what you felt for him, not caring if this was wrong, not caring if he wasn’t your soulmate, and just savored the taste of his lips. You wondered if this is what a soulmate felt like, or if this is just what love feels like.

Bucky brought your intertwined hands up to his chest, then pressing your palm against his heart letting you feel the fast tempo underneath, a perfect match to your own heartbeat. You clenched his shirt, pulling yourself closer, molding yourself to the person that always felt like home to you. His hands rested on your hips, letting himself enjoy the feeling of being able to hold you close and finally bringing to reality what he’s been wanting to do for weeks. His hands wanted to map out your body, wanting to know you like the back of his own hand, but knew that would come with time.

His hands settled in your hair, pulling you closer as his lips molded better against yours. . Your body felt that it was on fire, Bucky fueling it more and more, but not once did you want to pull away, in fact you craved it. There were few things that you would call perfect, and this was one of them. Your hands shifted around his neck, just wanting more, his hands wrapping around your back, feeling his fingers pulling your closer, but never once were they rough, always treating you like the precious treasure that you were to him.

You broke the kiss, his forehead resting on yours before leaning down, letting his nose trail down your skin, making your blood underneath boil, craving more of his attention. He placed small kisses on your face, kissing a trail down to your throat, loving the small reactions and sounds you made, slowly becoming addicted to you that at this point he knew that he wasn’t going to give you up ever again. Because just like you, he felt complete, he knew that this is where he needed to be and no mark on his skin could convince him otherwise.

“I love you too Bucky,” you said between breaths bringing up his face and sealing your words with a kiss, both of you smiling as your lips met.

You weren’t his soulmate and he wasn’t yours, but with each kiss that fact mattered less and less, because Bucky was right, you have the right to be with whoever makes you happy and love, and no mark should dare come between that. You were each other’s soulmate by choice and that’s all that mattered.

[my-imagines-moonlight53]

But I Love You

Peter Parker x Reader

Request:  Hey do you think that you can write a peter Parker x reader where the reader and peter are friends and goes under some anesthesia after some sort of surgery. After the surgery peter say some really fluffy things to the reader while she records it. (anon)

really hope you liked the request

tags: @parkerbpete @rosaetum @ladysnowren @lunastarwatcher

word count: 2,739 (i can’t seem to write short fics)

“You sure you’re not in any pain Peter? I can always go get the nurse if you want,” your voice filled with worry as your best friend was getting prepped for his cast for his broken arm.

“No, I’m fine (Y/N), I can feel it working. My arm doesn’t even hurt that much,” trying to calm you down.

“You sure?” still wanting to make sure he was ok.

Peter nodded, squeezing your hand slowly calming you down. You both waited till the nurse would roll you into the room where they would take x rays and apply his cast.

“Are you sure you don’t want Aunt May in here instead?” your hand interlacing with his.

“No, don’t think she would be able to handle this,” trying his hardest to not show how much of an effect your touch was having on him.

Peter was starting to think that maybe Ned would have been a better choice, because he couldn’t he wasn’t sure he could trust himself once the anesthesia kicks in. He’s seen the videos of people admitting some personal secrets, and last thing he wanted was to admit his love for you, since he wasn’t sure it would cause problems between you two.

You and Peter had been best friends since 6th grade, somewhere along the way you had stolen his heart, but this point he would have willingly given it to you. Simple touches made his face heat up, warm smiles made his breath stop; you holding his hand made his heart explode, everything about you just sent his body on overdrive.

“Thanks (y/n),” you don’t know how much you mean to me. That’s what he wanted to admit but he doubted that he ever could, because he would be sure to get tongue tied in the process.

“I’d do anything for you Peter,” your smile lightening up your face that instantly made his heart pound against his chest.  

It had to be illegal to be that adorable, and what’s worse is you had no clue how much of an effect you had on him. He could hear Ned’s voice in the back of his head, telling him to admit his feelings for you. He would always refuse stating that he needed to find the right moment to tell you.

“(y/n), there’s something that I should tell you…,” feeling like this was the best moment to tell you.

You nodded, seeing a slight change in his attitude.

“I-”

Keep reading

[petes-peonies]

Tallies (1) || Peter Parker x Reader

Summary: This AU is based on an idea from an old prompt in which people have tally marks to represent how many times they have fallen in love. 

Peter has fallen in love a couple times, but never been loved back, and thats where you come in. Peter is in college, would say around 21-23, and so is reader and company.

Author’s Note: This has honestly been something that I’ve been wanting to write for a while, and finally found the time to sit down and write it. Though still testing the waters, so please let me know. Would most likely try to be a slow burn, like definitely be more than four parts.

Word Count: 2K

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“Ned, I told you, she isn’t in love with me,” Peter repeated for the eighth time in this same phone conversation, but that didn’t mean that it hurt any less.

“Are you sure? I mean it could just take a while for hers to show up soon?”

“Ned, I really don’t want to say this but she did have a red mark, but it wasn’t for me,” he finally caved and explained the one fact he has kept thus far, “I didn’t think she would pull something like this, that’s why she can’t love me…because she loves someone else,” he sighed almost feeling the tally mark was burning his skin.

“Oh, I’m sorry dude,” he said after a long pause.

“I know but it’s not something you should apologize for,” he sighed, trying not to remember the events that occurred that morning.

“You can always come with me and Betty to the movies tonight, we can invite a few more people so you don’t feel like third wheel,” wanting to switch topics to hopefully cheer his friend up.

Peter knew that his friend was really trying to help but he really couldn’t think of leaving his apartment. He really needed to process the whole situation rather than distract himself from it, because he knew when he was alone, he would feel this low again. He looked down at his wrist seeing nothing but black tallies on his wrist, and let out a long sigh.

“Pete, you still there?” pulling him out from his thoughts.

“Yea just thinking about the offer,” even though he already knew that he had the answer.

“How about you think about it and let me know. I don’t want you to feel pressured,” always the supportive friend. “I would cancel on Betty but…“

“Thanks Ned,  don’t think Betty deserves that,” smiling knowing that Ned will always be his ride or die. “Think I’m a sit this one out,” his eyes still focused on his wrist.

“Offer will stands till seven, but if not, I’ll stop by tomorrow with food and can talk about it,” wanting Peter to know that he’ll be there through thick and thin.

“Yea tomorrow would be nice, I’ll text you if anything happens,” affirming that he wasn’t going out tonight, “have a great date Ned.”

“Thanks Pete. Hope to see you soon then,” he said.

Both said their goodbyes, leaving Peter  to let out a long groan of frustration. The palms of his hands pressed against his eyes hoping to keep the tears in that he kept in the whole day. Another black tally mark etched on his skin, great another failed attempted at love.

It was at times like these that wished he never learned about the tally marks, but it’s something unavoidable. He remembers days in which his Aunt May would sit down and talk to him about the tally marks that would one day appear across his wrist and tried to do her best to explain it.

“Alright Peter, so one when you find someone you really love, you’ll one day see a black tally appear right here,” pointing out her own single red tally on her wrist.

“But yours is red,” child Peter pointing out the obvious.

“I know, but if the person you love, loves you back, then it will turn red. Just like mine, yours can start off black, only depending who falls for who first. I can tell you first hand that mine showed up a month before your Aunt May’s did,” puling Peter’s attention from his aunt to his see his uncle setting down his stuff. Ben walked over to the two ruffling Peter’s hair to distract him from giving May a quick kiss.

“Hey it’s not my fault that you fell in love sooner than I did,” she joked.

“Uh, yea it is, you didn’t make it easy for me,” he smiled, “So what is this tally mark talk about?”

“Just curious,” Peter responded, “besides our teacher was going to go over it soon and wanted a head start.”

Peter smiled his tears gaining a bittersweet taste to them but figured that he may as well let out any tears at this moment. He looked at his wrist, nothing but black tallies and he would be lying to himself if he said that it didn’t hurt him. He really didn’t get the idea of what was so difficult about loving him, but then again, it’s not like he can force someone to love him. But still he just felt like a below the belt when he saw his now ex-girlfriend, if she even considered herself that, sport a red tally that clearly wasn’t his. Peter let out a loud sigh, thinking it was just to just scour his social media and start to unfollow her but couldn’t force himself to delete old pictures of themselves.

Just a few moments later and Peter heard a large crash outside his door. Peter quickly got up and walked over to the door hearing already someone cussing from the other end.

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You didn’t know whether to be mad at the carpet lining the floor or yourself for thinking it was a good idea to carry more than you actually could  because you really took a dive just now.  You were glad that the boxes you decided to carry were filled with things that wouldn’t break, but you couldn’t help the burn on your cheeks from embarrassment and hope that no one saw your fall.

You started to stack a few things to try to somewhat organize things, and decided now was a good time as any to open your door. You decided to take a few things with you hoping to prevent anyone from seeing your mishap. By the time you went back to your stuff, someone was already organizing your fallen mess.

“Hey, sorry about the mess in front of your door, just give me a couple minutes and it’ll be totally clear,” walking over to said mess.

“it’s no worry at all,” seeing the stranger get up and face you.

Your heart jumped to your chest seeing the face that although you have forgotten about over time, you could never truly forget. “Peter?” knowing full well that there was no doubt about it.

“uh do I know you?” his face really confused because he really couldn’t place your face to a name.

“It’s been a while, but remember me from middle school,” trying not to act like you weren’t even more embarrassed then just a moment before.

You could visually see his mind thinking back to middle school, and finally put the pieces together, “(Y/N)! Oh god, I’m sorry I didn’t remember, trust me have a few things on my mind,” and although you haven’t seen peter in years, you figured he still was the same bashful boy you hadn’t seen in years.

“no worries, I mean what are the odds, that your old middle school friend moves down the hall much less spill most of her stuff in front of your door,” trying not to  make anything more uncomfortable.

“yea guess so,” already sensing things slowly ease, “So you took over the empty loft, I think I heard about someone filling that room,” quickly picking up a few boxes, “ how about I help you out.”

Judging by him carrying boxes you knew that he wouldn’t take no for an answer, “sure guess we can catch up, plus definitely need the extra set of hands,” you said.

You didn’t know what it was about Peter but he really had a way to become instant friends with just about anyone that he met. You really were glad that he still was the same as the Peter you left behind at the end of middle school. It was almost easy being with Peter that it almost made it seem like you guys hadn’t seen each other in years but can already tell that moving in here was a great choice. You found out that he was still friends with Ned and kept in touch with Michelle, which he was already mentioning that he couldn’t wait to tell the others.  you really were glad that he already wanted to plan things out with you.

You would be lying to yourself if you couldn’t deny that although you could recognize Peter, he really had matured into someone very attractive, especially by your standards. The once round cheeks chiseled out into strong edges, small chucky arms and hands became defined and strong by the easiness that he carried large boxes. however, some traits didn’t change at all, his doe brown eyes still had the same glee and his smile still captured the room, at least it did in your opinion. But now with this stance and physique, he really could capture the room.

“So, you moving in all by yourself?” Peter asked bringing in heavier objects. You

“ Yea, just me though if its gets too pricey may ask one of my friends to move in with me,” you replied already seeing that more than half of your stuff was already moved in thanks to Peter’s help, “pretty sure she will like the space as well.”

You looked over at Peter seeing that he was staring at his phone, his default cheery attitude replaced by a saddened look.

“Peter, you alright buddy?”.

“Uh yea, just some,” not knowing the right words to say, or better yet not know the right words that didn’t make him want to cry again.

“Girl trouble,” you finished, doubting someone like him couldn’t be with anyone or have someone he’s interest in.

“Um, something like that,” figured that he didn’t know how to phrase it.

“You don’t have to talk about it, I mean we technically just met,” not wanting to push his limits, because you figured that he would tell you just to be nice.

“It’s not that, I just don’t want one of our few first conversations to be about how my girlfriend got a red tally,”  the words sounding so sour, “my bad I think I don’t think she was my girlfriend to begin with.”

“Red tally, then isn’t that a good thing?” not really understanding the problem.

“Yeah her and whoever she’s interested in, but definitely not for me,” lifting the side of his wrist and showing his black tallies., “just figured she’d be the first you know,” he said melancholy as he shrugged his shoulders.

“Hey her loss and their loss too, because I can already tell you that you have already been one of my better random male encounters in a while,” trying to cheer him up, though you figured you were failing at it.

Peter let out a small chuckle, “very funny but think I’m going to head out. Ned's meeting me tomorrow for food, you’re more than welcomed to come,” he said trying to switch to lighter topics, “I’ll knock, see if you’re free ok”

“yea, sounds like a plan and really thanks for the help couldn’t do it without you.”

Peter said a small goodbye and walked out leaving you to finally press your hand against your chest. Your heart was racing, you knew that of course spending time with someone attractive like Peter was going to make you react but it was more. You knew that although you were glad to have met up with peter, but you weren’t sure if it was such a good idea in the long run. You finally decided to look down on your wrist, your eyes locking on your first tally mark. Your fingers traced over the black tally, knowing full well that the person who this tally represents is none other than your new neighbor, Peter Parker.

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End Author’s Note: So that was part 1, please let me know how it is. Still in debate if i should include peter being Spiderman, that is the other main opinion I would want, since I am really on the fence. Once again this is planned out to be a somewhat slowburn. 

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