Feeling all kinds of fucked up lately. I feel not good enough, I feel trapped, I kind of wish I had never discovered little space or ever gone there with my partner. Now it's our "normal" and in the moment I fall right back into old roles and habits but then afterwards I'm pissed off and wish I could go back to do it over. I am not happy being submissive because it feels like that's the only part of me that satisfies him or excites him and it's Not Even A Big Part Of Me. Which feels like SUCH shit. I want freedom to explore the other parts of me, to try other kinks, to explore new growth with him...but then he doesn't seem interested, turned on, or like he enjoys it at all compared to when I'm freaking little. I've literally blocked all cgl/ddlg tags because it was fucking triggering, I don't know how to communicate any of this to him even though I have tried many times, I feel like he doesn't really understand (care??) and we always end up in the same old roles. On top of it I always feel horrible for making him feel unwanted as a CG which is not even the case I just feel so pigeon-holed I can't take it anymore. The worst part is that I think maybe this is all he's into, deep down. I think he only really wants a perfect little girl, which fucking sucks because I will Never be good enough and he'll probably look at all the fucking LG pages and posts on here or wherever and wish I could be like that, or wish he could have those perfect girls instead of me, and he probably does that anyway in general no matter how hard I try. Honestly I don't know why I thought a person like me would be enough for him.
romaincrisis
amandla
gamechangershow
izzy806
gracieabrams
