sleeplesswinter

danii| 23 | Gold Coast |

[bangurz]

Not to be a horny little bitch, but SEND NUDES

[tartts]

if I don’t get bit by a vampire and turn into a gorgeous immortal woman with questionable morality, irresistible charm, and enthralling mystique then what’s the point

[youmissedthememo]

I LOVE HER

[yallstillhere]

Come get this dick-fil-a

[yallstillhere]

I’m tired of y'all reblogging this every Sunday

[yallstillhere]

One of you shit heads are saving this post and waiting until Sunday to reblog it

I will fucking find you

[lostjewishworld]

[imtooticky]

My coworkers complain when we can’t assign homework over Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. As if somehow this interferes with their ability to teach their classes.

My coworkers complain that our Muslim students get to leave class to pray Salat at noon. Like, we have maybe one Muslim student every two or three years - thus far, all extraordinarily respectful and lovely kids! - and they slip quietly out of class to pray.

My coworkers find all this infuriating. “Imagine,” they cry, “If a Christian kid asked to do that.”

I calmly explain, every single time, that a Christian kid would never HAVE to do that, because every single Christian holy day is a day off school. Good Friday. Easter Sunday. Christmas day. Our entire country interrupts its financial and educational systems - schedules its WEEKS - around the Christian prayer customs and seasons.

God forbid we temporarily unclip the rope barrier and leave an opening for someone whose religious traditions vary from our own.

[professorsparklepants]

Heck, the only holy day we DON’T get off is Ash Wednesday, and that only involves a church service if you’re Catholic.

[weemstar]

DING DING DING

[aroseforno-one-deactivated20221]

me? an idiot? who gets attached to people way too fast? well yeah of course

[imsoofuckingsad-deactivated2018]

murderer: any last words

me: do u think i’m cute be honest

[thoradvice]

🌹 a flower for everyone not feeling their best today

[literallyallie-blog]

when I was in high school my AP english teacher told us we weren’t allowed to eat in class so I took that as a personal challenge to see what the most ridiculous thing I could eat in class without getting caught was so I started bringing soup to class and as soon as I’d crack the lid of my thermos the tiniest bit this football player that sat like 3 rows in front of me would going “I SMELL MEAT SOMEONE HAS SOUP” and no one ever believed him

[lunaeregia]

do y'all know how healing it is to block people who are even mildly annoying

[19191919191919191]

[catsfurever]

does pete davidson’s chest tattoo really fucking say jokes come and go but swag is forever

[catsfurever]

[wishingonyoump3]

[gingahhh]

He’s got a 10 inch dick she isn’t answering

[cephalotodd-deactivated20190310]

big bang theory is awful for obvious reasons but honestly shout out to them for inventing “bazinga” so i have a word i can drop into any conversation for a one-hit kill

[ryebreadgf]

[kingofeternalfreedom]

interviewer: ppl claim you’re immortal

Keanu:

[violaslayvis]

you didnt hear it from me but didi had an affair with chuckies dad and the “chuckies mom died” story was a coverup #staywoke

[stoicdaydreamer]

[bando--grand-scamyon]

y'all will not fuck my childhood like this @lyricism1898

[whaticantremembernow]

Chuckie and Tommy are truly brothers

[marauders4evr]

You all have some nerve…

[jeongincore]

the crab in the little mermaid was right, the human world is a mess

[mobeanz]

It is pitch black outside and someone is mowing their lawn

[savory-n-sweet]

power move

[mobeanz]

Update: the someone is my father

[savory-n-sweet]

does he have a flashlight

[mobeanz]

“dad did you have a flashlight?”

“no”

“how did you see?”

“moon.”