As Remus spoke, Sirius tried very hard to listen. He tried so hard to listen, in fact, that the sheer level of focus seemed to be heating up his entire body. He wanted very much to move or rub his face or something, but found it impossible to do any of that.Â
  What with all the focusing and concentrating.
  It wasnât embarrassing or flustering, hearing Remus say⌠words. No, no and he supposed he very much wouldnât like it if Remus said those words to him. He wouldnât. At all. Not even a little, actually. In fact, he found the mere idea of it repugnant. Heâd write three letters to the Prophet about it just as soon as he remembered how to move and think and breatheâwhich he was only struggling with because of the effort.
  Serious business, all this concentrating.
  At some point, Remus had stopped talking. This, Sirius knew, was the right time for him to say something. They were about to have another argument, so he knew it had to be somethingâsomething to stop that. Trouble was, he couldnât quite remember why he was upset.
  Remus had said something, but⌠but then heâd said something.
  So, Sirius cleared his throat. He did such a good job of it, he cleared it again. Then a third time, because he really was good at throat clearing and why shouldnât he show off?
  âN-Not at all.â A fourth time, because heâd earned it. Wait, had Remus said something else? After⌠the thing? He had that look like he had, and Sirius suddenly felt very torn about getting in trouble for not listening when heâd clearly been focused. âLike it? NoâŚ. hm? I, uh⌠wasnât going to shake it, wasâŚâ This must have been what Remus had talked about. Hand movements. âHold it, butâbut thatâs⌠not at allâŚâ
   A strange, heavy sort of feeling had settled over them, the type of electrical charge felt in the air just before the skies opened up and thunder struck. There was a dangerous sort of feeling to it, and yet there was something magnetic, fascinating, almost exciting--yet not in the ways Remus might have preferred. It was the type of feeling that often went hand in hand with butterflies, his nerves twisted into a knot of dread that settled in the pit of his stomach.
   Why did Sirius always make him feel like this? Like he was experiencing everything all at once and yet nothing at all because he simply couldnât name it. They were meant to be arguing over something foolish, werenât they? Or at least doing something with proper labels. But instead they were stuck in some sort of bizarre otherworld and all the confidence Remus had felt before seemed to worry away to nothing.
   When no words immediately came to him Remus cleared his throat, as though hoping to unlodge whatever had suddenly swallowed up his voice. Was it the look on Siriusâ face that had gotten to him, ultimately? Or the way his words were stammered, unsure, sort of...just really sweet? Why couldnât he just do this kind of thing normally? He always thought about things too much...
  But then again...maybe Remus did too...
  A long time passed in which Remus did nothing but watch Sirius and ignore the uncomfortable pounding of his own heart. There was no reason for him to feel so odd, none at all. This was all very normal when looked at it from an outsiderâs point of view; two people with feelings for each other, trying to understand and make things work. Romance wasnât such an unusual thing, and they both knew the things you were supposed to do.
   So why wasnât it easier? It should be easier.
   He didnât need words; not really. And he didnât need to think either, though the way his stomach gave a nasty somersault every now and then might have had a thing or two to say about that. Feeling slightly unsure and perhaps a little bit shaky, Remus reached out to take Siriusâ hands in his own, to stop their movement and pull him just a little bit closer, enough so that when Remus rocked forward onto his toes he could press their lips together. Â
   Because Sirius wanted that, didnât he? That was what this had all been about. A kiss. Just a kiss. Â
   And a lot of unsaid words with feelings that didnât have any names.
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