Dick Grayson sets Jon and Damian up, Completely accidentally.
So, years from now, Damian has finished his degree, med school, and is starting his residentancy. Jon is Superman, and his career as a science researcher is in full swing.
Both grew apart after Jon took up his fathers mantel, and Damian left crimefighting to pursue medicine. They are still friends, but nowhere near as close as they once were. ( Jon still listens to Damians' heartbeat every day, and Jon is one of the few people outside his family that Damian puts on the cape for now.)
Dick has been Jon's mentor for years, and he and Damian have only gotten closer as brothers (father and son) over the years. One day, after seeing Damian and Jon meet by chance, when Dick is injured and he makes Jon fly him to Damian to be patched up, Dick decides to get them to be best friends again.
Dick doesn't know why they grew apart, but they still seem fond of each other if the friendly greeting he witnessed is anything to go by. And both of them need more friends, each having been isolated by their responsibilities over the last few years.
So, he hatches a plan.
If they are going to be Best Friends again, they need to spend time together one on one. The few times he hung out with both of them at the same time, Jon and Damian tended to focus on him or a larger group activity.
So, Dick starts asking Jon to drop Damian over food or coffee after long shifts. Tells Superman how worried he is that Damian will overwork himself because he is doing so many extra hours in Peadatrics and the NICU. Jon happily agrees, armed with Damians' favourite vegan meals and a smile. Damian is confused at first but is so tired that he doesn't question why his childhood friend is suddenly feeding him a few times a week.
Next, Dick tells Damian about all the humanitarian work Jon is doing, and wouldn't it be so nice to go with him? The next time he heads off to refugee camp, Damian can come to provide free health care. Damian likes that idea immensely and asks Jon when he next shows up with food.
Jon and Damian start spending more time together, but only during times when they are too busy or exhausted to actually talk to one another. Neither have mentioned anything other than how tired and busy the other seemed.
So Dick enacts stage three and attempts to get them to actually hang out and relax together. Since they both desperately need it. So Dick asks them both to come over for pizza and movies at his place, and then just doesn't show up. Damian is always early and has a key to his apartment so he can let Jon in. The plan is foolproof.
He sends them a text 30 minutes after they were supposed to meet and tells them Barbara needs him for something, but go ahead and order the pizzas he will be there in a few hours.
After about four hours of celebrating his success and annoying Babs. Dick finally goes home to check on the besties.
What he did not expect was to find Jonathan Kent defiling his baby on his couch.
Some of their clothes are off and strewn around the space, and thank God all Dick sees is Jons naked back and Damian kissing him before he runs out of the room.
Only after he calls Babs in horror and she laughs in his face, does he gather the courage to confront them again.
When he enters the house this time, Jon and Damian are waiting for him, thankfully fully dressed.
Dick doesn't get a chance to speak before Damian is apologising for impropriety and looking like he did at ten when he didn't know how Dick was going to react to his mistakes. Jon takes his hand to settle his nerves, and it works.
Dicks feels like he fell down the rabbit hole.
"So, you two are a thing?"
"Yes."
"Since when?"
"Since I saw Damian save 10 children in Sudan a few weeks ago."
"Oh."
"Jon was good with them, comforting and gentle." Damian sounds dreamy in a way Dick has never heard before.
"Is it serious?"
"I love Damian, and I plan to marry him as soon as he will let me." Jon is so confident and serious when he says this, Dick almost doesn't believe the words coming out of his mouth.
"WHAT?!" The pair ignore him choking on his own spit. Rude.
"You do?"
"If you want?"
Damian nods and smiles. "We could go to vegas tomorrow?"
Jon smiles back so wide Dick is sure his face is going to split in two."Or we elope tonight?"
Damian kisses him before whispering yes against his lips
He then turns to his brother.
"Richard will be our witness!"
Dick doesn't know how he ends up in a chapel in Las Vegas at 3am,on a Tuesday, giving his baby brother away. But they look so happy Dick decides he doesn't care at the moment.
Damian had rings already, for some reason, and Jon and Damian get married in jeans and hastily thrown on shirts. All three of them cry at sappy spontaneous vows.
Afterwards, Jon thanks him for helping him realise he already knew the love of his life. Damian just hugs him tightly and says something in a language Dick doesn't know.
It occurred to Dick in that moment that Bruce was going to kill him. Probably after he killed Jon.
He can't even stage a shovel talk because this is all his own damn fault.
Barbara and Stephanie never let him live it down. (But they can suck it, Jon and Damian name their first kid after him and make him godfather.)
