A bit of this and that

Linux. Humor. Randomness

[phalgun]

2019

January

Torna

Pune

February

Nellore

March

Makalidurga

April

:(

May

Kathmandu

Namche Bazar

Everest National Park

June

:(

July

Sriharikota

August

Bangkok

Phuket

Bali

Lombok

September

Tel Aviv

Jerusalem

Red Sea

Haifa

Tiberias

Odem

October

:(

November

:(

December

Mumbai

Pune

Late post 'cos I have somehow forgotten to post about the disastrous of an year of 2019.

[phalgun]

2 years and a travel burnout

In the last 18 months I have done two kinds of travel.

The first was fast travel. I moved cities every 4-5 days. About 2-4 weeks in a each country. For 6 months. 

The second was slow travel. I stayed in each city at least a month. About 1-2 months in each country. For 6 months. 

In the first, I stayed in hostels. Did touristy things. I constantly met new people. I partied. I woke up late. I walked and hiked and walked more and never exercised. I used public transport. I ate out constantly. I never worked. Weekends meant hitting the best party in town. I met people off dating apps. I met people at bars. Hangovers were a bitch. No day was the same. I was just out there having fun.

In the second, I stayed in month-long Airbnbs. Hardly did any touristy things and waited till the end even for the basic ones. I woke up early and went to crossfit classes. Or played a sport in the evenings. Made my own food. Worked at home and cafes. Work was what I did most of the day. Met people on dating apps and over home cooked meals. Weekends meant groceries and laundry or even pool parties. Hangovers were still a bitch.

In the first, I made friends for a day or four. Some stuck around to multiple cities together. Some reconnected in a different city. Some went to the same hostels. Some were ahead on your route, some were behind. Some were going up the continent, and some down. 

In the second, I made a handful of friends but deeper this time. Travel friends. College friends. Neighbours. Friends who either stuck around the entire month or friends who came in generations like it happens if you stay in a single company for too long. In the first, I was constantly making decisions. A treadmill that refused to stop. Where to eat. What to eat. What to do today. How to get there. Should I stay or should I leave? I sometimes wished to be traveling with a friend or partner just to split the decision making. 

In the second, I had a daily routine. I slept and woke up at the same time. What to cook was picking from the handful of dishes I knew how to + what the fridge had. I went to the same restaurants. There weren't as many decisions.

I tried to correct mistakes of the first in the second. I carried a pressure cooker and vowed not to return just because I missed my pappu & rice. I calibrated my partying to conserve my energy. I carried my meds and my hangover cures. I found ways to make my money last longer. But my routines lasted maybe a month or more. I had to move cities or countries and start all over again. Sex was easy, building relationships wasn’t. 

But in both of them, I started falling homesick eventually. The first was because I fell sick (suspected dengue) and missed home & food. The second because I really missed my family & friends and experienced travel burnout. A feeling that I didn’t know existed.  Travel burnout is where the sunsets stop being magical but continue being beautiful. You are ok with missing out on things or visiting places - the cathedrals & museums feel the same and take you back in time. But it doesn't hit you with awe as earlier. The brain starts adapting to the constant stimulation and sets a higher baseline for experiences. Unless there is something new, it didn't feel as special or rewarding to do things and I caught myself saying no more than I was comfortable with (historically, I never say no). This particularly hit hard on a random Friday evening when a friend texted me asking if I wanted to go out that night. I said no, not because I didn't have the energy but because I felt indifferent towards it. Eventually, I started wondering if travel was becoming a nagging peer pressure activity to me. My daily life had more or less regressed to what it was back home - work, cook, workout on weekdays. Play, go out, see things on weekends. This wasn't a bad week in any terms but I questioned the need to do it in a new place. Why can't I just do this back at home? My work and personal goals started taking centre stage and I found myself craving a base, where I don't have to think about what the next month would be like. I realised I overshot my shot with travel and it wasn't giving me joy anymore. I started planning my return.

"Everything in moderation including moderation", I heard a charismatic 45yo Italian cop say in a conversation about abusing the world for experiences. And it perfectly summarises my experiment with travel these last 2 years. I do not have regrets - I would do it again if you took me back to the start of 2024. But I now know how much is too much, and I have come out knowing myself a little better.

And that is all that matters.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I dogwalked part time in Chile and also had a house cat in Brazil. (I would want to get a cat sometime in life)

We had a secret santa at the gym in Guadalajara, Mexico. My Spanish was bad at this point in the trip and didn't really talk to many people in the gym, but everyone hugged me goodbye on my last day.

Meals were always with a computer and rewatching TV shows on Netflix. I finally started making burgers 💪

had a favourite fish lady in Bolivia

My Chilean Airbnb host was either over at our house for dinner or we were at hers. She taught me how to pick out wine and was basically a mother to me and Ram.

This was the Airbnb In Valparaiso, Chile where we stayed for a month. Both Ram and I would wind down our day sitting in the balcony for sunset with a beer or a puff.

I legit had a content creator arc going on. My Instagram went public during this time as well, but this video did not thankfully.

Went to spanish school for a couple of weeks and it was fun in the class and outside.

Find the 45yo Italian cop.

Farewell dinners in Pipa were a tradition. Everyone would go to the fav restaurant of the person who was leaving.

Pipa in Brazil was a minimal place. There were very few things to do. And that was perfect.

[phalgun]

2025

January

Guadalajara 

Santiago

Valparaíso

February

Valparaiso

Puerto Natales

March

Puerto Varas

Santiago

San Pedro de Atacama

Uyuni

Sucre

Valparaiso

April

Santiago de Chile

Pipa, Rio Grande de Norte

May

Pipa

Thippasandra

June

:)

July

:)

August

:(

September

Auroville

October

:(

November

Bangkok

Chiang Mai

Pai

December

Chiang Mai

Lamphun

[phalgun]

The podium finish

I got 95.84% in my 10th board exams. Until a guy came up and said "congrats on the podium finish", I didn't realise what it actually meant.

I was 3rd in school. I could now truly quantify where I stood in the school and in the world (tbf school was my entire universe at the time). This was very new feeling to me.

I was never a school topper per se. I had an incredibly terrible year in my 9th std (grade, for you ICSE types). I had some insane prepubescent behaviour at home and my grades slumped hard. And then my mom got a call from my class teacher on how I bully girls in class (I wish I had the balls my teacher thought I had). So, I didn't really expect to be "doing well" in school or life. Growing up, "doing well in school" was literally the only metric of success given to me.

So, coming in 3rd kinda painted a clear picture of where I stood in the world and it left me rather pleased with myself. Until then I hadn't really realised the extent of what my percentage meant. Because, looking at the number in isolation - I did not know whether it was good enough or not? Podium finish didn't stay for long. One of my friends, Nag, had his marks revaluated and came up to 2nd. It is funny that I actually witnessed Nag playfully challenge Ani (who actually was 2nd before the recount), that he would score more than Ani a few weeks before the board exams. Was funnier to see both of them banter each other throughout the summer that followed. But that's not the point of the story. The point is about how drastically my metric of success changed over time. I very soon stopped believing in ranks, after my 1st semester of engineering. I stopped taking the college for my world once I experienced the internet. I stopped taking the country as my world after I started traveling. I realised my voice is the only that matters, after traveling solo. Living in worlds entirely new, either in culture or language, or where no one knew me - gave each day a fresh start. It made the voice in my head clearer and created a two way communication for the first time. Being in love taught me the best relationships actually merges your world with someone else (while holding onto your identity). Covid helped me learn family is an important part of my world. And living alone in the city taught me that community matters too. This sphere of influence went from a small sphere surrounding me (classroom) to bigger sizes until it imploded to an atom (me) and then to the sphere I influence directly (partner, family, and community). Gradually the metric of success changed from where I stand in the world, to how positively I changed and influenced change compared to my earlier selves. This makes defining success very very easy. It makes accepting failure a lot easier too. Reading the teachings of Buddha, I'm starting to believe (not fully there yet) a life pursuing happiness of only oneself or your loved ones cannot be as fulfilling. There needs to be a component of giving and committing to the community or the broader universe. Dalai Lama even talks about how being a good parent is actually a giving back to the world. If your offspring is going to create a net positive in the world, you have in turn helped do that. Same goes with mentoring. Or, helping people directly or indirectly.

I'm sure this is not the end in my search for meaning. It will likely change over the next few years. It's like that TV show with plot twists and drama, renewing for another 3 seasons.

Going back to the original story of the podium finish. Rank 1 got married v soon after engineering, now lives in New Zealand with a kid pretty much cut off from the world. Rank 2 went to IIM and is a director at Flipkart. He is a close friend I regularly hang out with. Rank 3 met the lohl in his first job (where we worked together), went to Cornell and subsequently Google. We meet whenever we are in the same city. And Rank 4 is currently unemployed and living a very different life while feeling as successful as the others.

[phalgun]

My problem with FIRE

If you know me, I have been talking about FIRE to anyone who listens. FIRE to me was building a safety net to say fuck you to your job when you want, and be able to live without a job to meet your monthly expenses.

As someone who grew up on limited means (plus a lot of regional TV drama contributing to my scarcity mindset), I always dreamt of a time when I don't have to think twice before buying something. Don't have to worry about an upcoming expense. And not worry about losing a source of income.

For a long time, my goal had been to get to a point where I can say I do not care about money. And you can only say this, when you have enough.

In mid 2023, I did the FIRE math on my fav calculator (that I built, rudimentarily) and realised I'll be hitting my FIRE goals in about 2-3 years when I'm in my mid 30s. While the thought of being there was highly satisfying, I was still unsettled.

It bothered me on how I was trying to start living a life I want only post hitting my FIRE goals.

For a few years now, I was trying to live a life where I didn't wait to start doing things until the right moment or stage. I wasn't very good at following my own advice, but I did for a few major things - I resisted marrying for the sake of it and wanted to be intentional about it. And I also moved out and started adulting much before my parents were OK with it (they just wanted me married even before I did anything remotely adult).

While I actively tried to not wait for certain things to happen to start living the way I want, I wondered if FIRE was actually limiting me than give me the freedom to start living life on my own terms?

Why wait for FIRE to reach, when I can start living the life I want, now? Today?

Why frontload all the effort and hard work of navigating the corporate world when I could instead space it out over the next decade and truly FIRE when I'm in my 40s or 50s even.

After all, I would not be able to do the things I can pull off in my 30s say in my 50s, or worse 60s. So, wanting to do things now when I have time, energy, and money is probably a better bet than wait for time, money, and no energy.

Would I need an elongated chill life or do I want to wrap everything up and start with a clean slate. I prefer the former. More so because I truly believe the present is what matters the most - being present, being aware of whats happening, and just staying there irrespective of it being good or bad just sounds healthier. But doing that is incredibly hard.

I constantly find myself anxious about the future and overthinking what I could have done differently in the past (especially around the women I have fumbled)

So, I decided to try a mini FIREd life. Thats when I did my longish sabbatical (or break or whatever you want to call it) for about 12 months where I don't work and take each day as it goes and do whatever I felt like that day.

I'm on month 10 of the break as of now and god damn, I could get used to not working forever. But it is also a great time to, as the techbros say, reflect on my learnings as enough time has passed.

And last night I realised something - I still haven't stopped being anxious about the future. Nor have I stopped ruminating over the past. I am more or less who I was last year. I may have the safety net for a long long time, but I still can't seem to shake off the fear of what the future holds - will I be able to make my money last, will I have a job? will there be any unexpected expenses that may throw my financial planning out of whack? Or, would I end up broke in a comical way due to reasons out of my control.

Even with the extended runway, I'm still at the same place where I started - anxious about the future and fixating on the past.

Deep down, I realised while FIRE has helped give me concise goals to work towards, it hasn't done anything to remove the underlying fear of uncertainty. The courage to take life as it comes hasn't really taken its place. This fear is what makes me not truly live in the present. And for a long time, I believed having a safety net will eliminate these fears - but clearly not. Talk about having your foundational beliefs shook.

A long time ago, I overheard my grandma say with more money you just have more problems. I do not know about more, but I can attest the problems atleast remain. Just that you are eating expensive sushi while tackling the problems.

The other toxic side effect of being unidirectional about FIRE is how I constantly find myself calculating the time value of things. I cheap out on experiences or straight up reject experiences cos it doesn't fit my financial projections (classic sour grapes). While this hasn't been debilitating, it has shown up at times to make me uncomfortable about who I am becoming.

So, my real problem with FIRE is it doesn't fix the root of your problems. Without which you are basically where you started. And you probably have to fix them yourself, in ways you know work for you.

The answer always seems to be to look within, like that one guy from 5th century BC said.

[phalgun]

Everybody is leaving 

Was what a friend said when I was saying bye to her. 

When you're in a hostel and long enough, you're constantly seeing people come in and out. Some people stick longer. Some people drift through, and are out by the time you are even up. 

After you spend time with people and doing things together, you become what is known as travel buddies. You know you both are going to briefly cross paths together and there would be a time you'll have to say goodbye but no one likes to think about that future sadness or the rationality of it all. Especially when you're out having fun in the present. 

It's really hard to say goodbye knowing you might never see each other again. It always leaves me with a deep bittersweetness, that I have trouble shaking off for a while. And easily one of my least favourite feelings on a trip, but also humbling - that I even got to see experience that feeling. 

You're still on high spirits because of the kind of things you did together. But you're also sad that it all ended and you will both move on and forget about each other after a few days. 

I asked Alex, who had been staying at Books hostel for many months now. How he deals with the sadness of people leaving, knowing that you might never see them again. He said something on the lines of some people you meet again, some you don't and that's life. Maybe one day, when you are traveling in their country, you might meet again. Knowing that you have friends all over the world is worth the short friendships. 

One day, everyone would have moved on with their respective lives but you randomly think about the time you went to a street party and a sunset hike and a sunrise hike and a football match and a night long rave and smile, that you briefly had a different life of friends and things to do. Almost how you look back at your college days and reminisce the life you had. 

It's worth it. Even with the sadness it comes along with. I guess that's what makes it special. 

[phalgun]

2024

January 

Goa

Nallayyanapalya

February 

Hong Kong

Los Angeles

San Jose

Menlo Park

Mendocino

Eureka

Redwoods National Park

San Francisco

March 

Cupertino

Tulum

Bacalar

San Cristobal de la Casas

Puerto Escondido

San Jose del Pacifico

Oaxaca City

Mexico City

Antigua

Acatenango

Lake Atitlan

April

Antigua

Semuc Champey

Guatemala City

Bogota

Medellin

Guatape

Taganga

Tayrona National Park

Minca

Santa Marta

Buritaca

May 

Cartagena

Cali

Medellin

Lima

Huaraz

Lima

Cusco

June

Arequipa

São Paulo

Florianopolis

Foz de Iguazu

Puerto Igauza

Ciudad del Este

Buenos Aires

July

Rio de Janeiro

Dubai

Doha

Chittoor

August

Bellary

September

Mysore

Goa

Mumbai

Ahmedabad

October

Kochi

Varkala

November

:(

December

Los Angeles

San Diego

Tijuana

Guadalajara

[phalgun]

2023

January 

:(

February 

Ibbalakahalli

Pune 

Tikona Peth

March 

Kambasagara

Singadasanahalli

April

Marrakech

Essaouira

Casablanca

Tangier

Chefchouan

Akchour

May 

Fez

Hassan

June

Flores

Uluwatu

Ibbalakahalli

July

Dandiganahalli

August

Sakleshpur

Puttur

September 

Varkala

Bali Pass

October 

Dehradun

Kasar Devi

November 

Agra

December

Gokarna

[phalgun]

Chapter 3: You decide how you want to travel

When I announced my multi-month sabbatical on Twitter, it kinda went viral. Lot of people who said they are envious and fascinated that I could go on something like that. I also felt great hearing it from other people, that I was onto something special. 

My first stop was in Hong Kong and I met this German guy in my hostel on my first day. As it goes, you typically ask about how long you have been in the city, where you come from, and how long you travel for. And this guy told me he plans to travel for a year. He said "1 year" so casually that it humbled me about my own trip.

I could have been envious and asked why I couldn’t do the same too. But like with many other things in life, there is always someone who has more than you and someone who has less than you. The secret is to really make peace with what you have. 

Travel in itself is an activity of high privilege where multiple things have to fall in place for you to be there. Even a weekend getaway isn’t something a lot of people in India can afford to have. 

There is no point debating what is the right way to travel. And equally so, there is no point in debating between being a tourist or a traveller. 

All that matters is you do what you want and set out to see and experience. You choose how you want to travel, at the end of the day.

However, just like many things in life - I would ask you to consider what your intentions are for traveling. It is okay if you don’t have a strong or meaningful reason or even mundane, just that you attempt to answer that question however hard it might be.

Want to go to a beautiful beach vacation and potatate while drinking and eats tons - do it. 

Want to hike up a mountain, cooking your own food, and struggling to find your potty spot - do it. 

Want to walk around a city and its museums - do it. 

Want to click a ton of pictures and post them on the ‘gram - do it. 

Want to go far away from home? Want to go a city that is not remarkable - do it. 

Knowing why you are doing something usually helps in crafting the experience the way you want it.

At the end of the day, you only have yourself to answer to and no one else. It is your money, you get to choose how you want to spend it. It is futile to have other people dictate or gatekeep how you should travel. 

[phalgun]

The Great American Sabbatical 

That is what I have been calling my trip on Polarsteps (the app to journal your trips, it’s pretty cool - check it out). It has been longer than I thought it would. I also thought I won’t learn anything new on this trip - I kept saying I have gone on similar sabbaticals before and have learnt everything I possibly can. I was wrong.

This post is about how I was wrong, what I learnt and what I did differently this time around. 

h/t to @wayfaring_nerd on twitter on giving me so many prompts to write about when I complained about wanting to write but don't have anything to say. 

1. Mountains or beaches? This is one of my most hated cliched questions. “Both!”, I always answered. I have now learnt my answer is mountains. I think I understood the question better now and found my answer. I have been subconsciously packing more for living in the mountains than in the beaches pretty much most of my trips. I am far more comfortable with my shirt on than off. I will still continue going to beaches because I enjoy the vibe, and am writing this from a cute little beach town even now :) 

2. Starting over This was the first time I was moving countries after settling into it. That meant having to start over from scratch each time, preparing for the new country and planning for it. Starting with how to exchange money, how to ride a bus/metro, what places to see, what is a good price to pay for a meal, and in the case of Brazil - trying to navigate a whole new language when you are in the middle of learning another one. 

3. You can never ever fully experience any place / country This is controversial. Kinda shook my whole travel philosophy for a bit. 

4. Spanish I'm surprised I can now construct sentences in Spanish (albeit a few words). At the start of my trip, I vastly underestimated how much I would need Spanish and was quite lax in picking it up. I now wish I stayed longer in the Spanish speaking countries so that my language practice could go on. I need to find ways to continue learning Spanish once I'm back home.

5. Why do I travel? This has multiple layers to it. You always start with the most obvious reasons and then with time, you discover new ones. My answer always was - it brings me joy. Keeps every day fresh and new, I like meeting new people etc. I was able to discover a far more primitive need for why it brings me joy, multiple layers down.

I think at the core of it, its ‘cos I get to start over. Each day, I get to start over and make it the way I want. Each person I meet I get to start over in how I interact with them and reciprocate. Each country & city is a new start in what area I want to be in, what kind of activities I want to partake in etc.

Eg. In Huaraz, I realised on day 1 it is a city that offers nothing and you have to hike and make the most of it. My hostel was primarily a sleep and shower destination. In Lima, I didn’t want to do anything. I just stayed at hostel, spent time online, or with my book, went for short walks and chilled more.

In some cities, I chose to be a lot less social and chatty compared to others where I was definitely looking to go out more and do new things.

It was almost like the city possessed a vibe, and I chose how I wanted to ride it based on what I felt like doing. 

Makes me wonder what it takes to make my life back home similar to this too.

6. Gratitude This happened during my Fi debit card debacle (you should check my twitter for this). While I was stuck in a new country with enough money to only last another meal, I was oddly not too disturbed. I was still at peace. I knew things were going to work out and wouldn’t have to end my trip early. But more importantly, I already felt immensely lucky to be on this trip. Many many people checked in on me, escalated my Fi debit card issue at different places on my behalf, and offered help (and money). With all this surrounding me, somehow I never felt the need to complain? I was honestly more grateful than disturbed. It made me think deeper on what caused this shift and if I could take it back home with me. I know I have a fairly privileged and lucky life back at home too. Why do I not hold the same gratitude there and be less affected when I am, say, affected? 

7. Uncertainty Not knowing where I’ll be, where I’d stay, what I’d do that day became the norm. In most of my previous trips, there was at least a certainty in the mid-term on where I’d be staying and doing. Majorly stemming from the fact that I was still working for a big chunk of the day, and my day and activities revolved around that. This time, I had the flexibility of really doing things on the edge. I had my Brazil visa appointment at 10am, while my flight to Brazil was booked for 10pm. I once coin tossed my way into deciding whether I’ll stay or leave the place. 

8. It is never too big or too small It is a futile exercise to define travel to be a certain way. You will always find someone gatekeeping what ideal travel is. At the end of the day, the only definition that matters is the one you have made peace with. Oddly, related to previous post on its you who chooses how to travel.

--

At the end of the day, I like to travel because it takes you to places where you are far more reflective of your life choices and likes than you would be at home or in a familiar place. This alone is tremendous alpha in spending time by yourself in a new place. You come out with a better understanding of who you are and what you are - without the noise of your surroundings or the history of your baggage. It allows you to really, really, start with a clean slate.

[phalgun]

10 years later

In 2014, I wrote a post about an interaction with a friend who was talking to me about his dilemma around moving to US for his masters or not.

Weirdly, the blog blew up (relatively). I even had Tinder matches coming up to me mentioning that post. I quite enjoyed my brief stay in the spotlight.

It is 2024 now. The said friend and many many others in my batch and in my circle of people have hence moved to the US and are settled there. And an equal number of my friends have stayed back in India, including me.

The blog post basically called for people to introspect on what they wanted to do with their lives, what do they like doing, and not just commit to doing things just because everyone else around them was doing it. It resonated with a lot of people, even when I posted about it regularly over the course of the last 10 years.

But, I have wondered multiple times in the last 10 years if me choosing to take the route less taken, has worked out or not in my favour. And where would I be, if I had also moved to the US via a masters degree.

10 years is a good time to now share what I think about what 23yo Phalgun decided to do. Am I happy with? Would I change anything over this period. And would my advice still stay the same, 10 years later.

This is a great time to write about this as I just came back from visiting the US where I spent a good time with many of my friends, staying at their houses, helping them with chores, hanging out at their workplaces, or places they frequent. This helped me get a good sense of what typical life in the US would be, for someone who has moved there.

To be honest - there have been times I saw a real tangible difference to what it would have done to my career. Startups in the US are a different beast, and some of the problems they work on are, as cliche as it might sound, futuristic. The work culture in US startups has plenty of positives. Whereas startups in India, tend to have their own dynamics and I'm not a fan of certain aspects of it. I strongly believe US startups > Indian startups.

After 30 years of living in the same city, I have now built an excellent ecosystem of friends & family around me that I'm really grateful for. But that is also my handicap - would I be able to build something similar in a new city, from scratch? It is a challenge, I'm curious to know if I would have cracked it enough to have a similar lifestyle and ecosystem around me in a new country.

I moved out of my parents home after 30 years. And within 3 years, it has taught me a ton. I went from not knowing what a tadka is to being able to cook food for myself and adult in other areas. This character development could have helped loads if I had put myself in it 10 years ago.

US tech salaries are out of the park. It has the highest savings rate across all geographies (I have done the math). This would mean I could potentially retire MANY years early.

Being in India, around my family & friends - the familiarity of the surroundings, the acceptance of the society, and the briliant brilliant food that is Indian food has its benefits that you recognise only when you are away from it. But most importantly, the quality of life that a high paying tech job offers in India is definitely superior to the average India. I wish more Indian techies are mindful of the privilege and quality of life that our careers have afforded us. I grew up urban middle class and I now live an urban upper class lifestyle, bringing upward mobility in my quality of life. India is a great country to live, if you are rich.

But more importantly, being in India also allowed me the freedom of mobility & flexibility in my career. I switched tracks to product management from engineering in these years, without an MBA. It would have been unlikely I got to do something like this being in the US where your visa inhibits easy career or company switches.

This meant that I also got to take sabbaticals at regular periods of time. I am currently on my 3rd sabbatical, and it comes from multiple things working out in my favour. Something that I find very hard to happen elsewhere. Also, random side note - living in the same city as your family meant vacations were for going away from home, than going home.

Overall, there are multiple ways my life could have gone if I had taken a different path. And some of them would have been great and some worse.

But I think once you know what you want your life to be; working towards it is the harder part of the journey. The drive to make life work for you is a larger contributor, than the choices you make. If you are a person with the drive, you would make it irrespective of being in India or elsewhere. I think I would have carved out a niche for myself if I was in the US. Or, I would have had built a family around me. Whatever the path, I would have made the most of it while working on being happy.

That's how I look back at it, 10 years henceforth. Maybe, I might have a differing opinion in 2034, but for now - I'm happy with how things turned out.

Work towards knowing what you want + achieving the same is more instrumental than what your life turns out because of the choices you made. The drive to live life the way you want is independent of the choices, and shouldn't deter you from getting to where you want to be.

To summarise, choices are navigating functions in your journey but you are holding the wheel and driving it. What you feel and do during this ride is what matters and what you should pay attention to. Everything else will fall in place.

[phalgun]

Chapter 2: Why do I travel when I could own my time at home

Over the course of years since then, I have traveled arguably more than the average urban Indian - both in India and outside (India is hands down still my favourite country to travel). Each one bringing in memories and experiences that I hold onto closely. Interestingly, one of my biggest fears at the moment is forgetting these travel memories over time. My 2015 euro trip is only a collection of memories at this point (doesn’t help that I was mostly wasted pretty much every night). 

But more importantly, what I seek from travel has changed over the course of years. It was mostly a game of experimenting different things & experiences after which I have realised my ideal type of travel is where I am just living in a new city, with a strong emphasis on living. 

As I do this, I typically observe and understand how the city grew, what the culture is like, what makes the city unique, and the economic development of the place. I tend to draw big parallels to my own city, Bangalore, where I have lived all my life. I love cities! Especially, the big crowded ones - Tokyo, Tel Aviv, Los Angeles, Mumbai, New York and so on. But I also like places that are self sufficient in their own way, offering a multitude of things to do & experience - making them a city in my eyes. For example, Dharamkot and Auroville were such places. 

This style of traveling - where I get an immersive experience of the city needs time. It needs you to not be in a constant mode of moving cities, or knocking things off a checklist to see and do. Anything that severely constraints your time or how you use it naturally gets deprioritised (or not depending on how I feel that day - which is entirely the point of owning your time, you are at will to change what you want on a given day). 

Obviously, there are other people who partake in this style of travel and call it by different names - slow travel, vagabonding, intentional travel, or insert some time appropriate word based on when you are reading this. 

While I’m at the new place, I tend to also start visiting the same cafe or breakfast spots each day. While this is counter intuitive to traditional adage of travel, I prefer this as it allows me to build a connection to the cafe owner, or to the hostel manager, or the person I buy fruits from. The growing familiarity caused by these small daily interactions made me feel at home. It feels like the city is accepting me, little by little, and that's amazing. 

And naturally, you meet other travellers while on the road. They are a great window to understand what other things to do in the city, some tips and pitfalls to avoid. And, if you end up spending more time with them, you get to know a new person and their background, their country, and their perspectives. But I find the conversations and connections I build with a local resident far more enriching than that of a fellow traveler - simply because with each passing year, I do not find as many differences or new things to learn from fellow travellers anymore. Probably due to the growing information age or the type of people that backpacking seems to attract. 

I once used to joke to people that if you meet 3 software engineers you have met them all. Similarly, if you have met a 100 backpackers, you have met them all too. 

I realised slow travel (my favourite word for it) is where I am able to do some the things I like - own time + experience a new place and be accepted by the new city. 

[phalgun]

Chapter 1: What made you go on this trip? 

I’m starting to write this as I sit in the flight to USA from Hong Kong, on the 4th day of my break to travel the world. I’m not sure if I’ll finish this piece by the end of the 12 hour flight - but I sure hope to publish this piece and not leave it in my drafts. 

While the idea of quitting your job to travel the world seems grand and exciting, and a big fuck you to capitalism and the things being an adult requires us to do on a daily basis, I do not see it that way. 

There is nothing noble or grand in quitting your job to travel the world. All it means is that I have the discretionary income which affords me the luxury to do so and a family situation that allows this. 

The amount of views, likes, comments I got on one measly post on Twitter because a friend prodded me to post, pushed me to write this. Because I feel the need to explain to the world, the people who viewed that tweet - that it is not a big deal and isn’t what it seems like. 

This is not the first time I am taking off from work for a longish period of time and traveling the world. Just that the definition of world changed each time I did it. 

The first time was as a 25yo (in 2016) fresh off my first long term vacation where I backpacked across mostly Eastern Europe solo the previous year. 

[Quick note about my first solo trip in 2015: I am now incredibly proud of how I pulled my first backpacking expedition (yes, I’m going to call it that). It needed insane amount of effort, time, and energy to plan, organise, and strategise the trip. It was also the time when mobile data on phones wasn’t a thing and I had to use paper and offline maps (with no navigation or bus routes) to figure my way out of a city — all of this for good 5 weeks. I truly feel blessed to get a sliver of the travel experience without the mobile phone being at the centre of it all.]

This trip gave me a bug. A bug that made me realise the importance of time and how I was spending it. I remember speaking to my then boss Sunil during an appraisal negotiation, how I could instead be traveling the world and owning my time instead of working for a salary (tbh, he was partially responsible for even instilling the spirit of travel in me).

I then took off on a 4 month sojourn across India (it’s fascinating why I picked India, when I had the whole world at my disposal to go to). I didn’t do much. I spent a really large amount of time in each place I went to - Ladakh, Auroville, Rajasthan, Nepal, and Sikkim. And this was the first time I accidentally discovered slow travel. It still is one of the fondest times of my life - funny now that I think about it ‘cos I had nothing what I want now back then (not a lot of savings, no romantic partner, or a place of my own). 

But this trip was the first time I discovered what it means to really live in the present. I would wake up every day and ask myself what I want to do today - and do just that. It sounds quite simple, but you only realise how rare this is when you actually try to do this on a weekday in a regular week. You realise you don’t own your time as much when you are living every day. This trip was also different ‘cos I had a routine for the first time when I was traveling - I tried so many mundane things with the peace and presence of mind that I had not found when I was either traveling or living back at home in Bangalore. Over the course of the next few years, I realised this was really important to me. And was a big piece in "my" definition of quality of life.

Since then, I have made it my overarching ambition to do just that - own my time. Own how I spend my time. As long as I get to choose how I manage and utilise my time, I don’t worry about the outcomes of it. I have chosen to spend it the way I did, and that is enough for me to make peace with. I’m not worried about being unproductive during this time either - I tried hard to do nothing and after a few days - I automatically tend to do things that creatively, emotionally, or mentally stimulate me because of the type of person I am. 

To know what you want, and to work towards it once you do - is probably the only way I want to live my life. 

These travel breaks now are my own small periods of time where I get to do just that - own my time and dictate my day. This is an expensive hobby I undertake with the means I have and locations in my access, to give myself that taste of owning my time for a brief period of time. 

If you have stuck around till here, now would be a great time to ask why I can’t do this little “time owning” at home, instead of on the road --

[phalgun]

10 cents

I was rushing to the airport in Rome, eight years ago. Got to the bus station where I had to take the bus to the airport.

Went to the ticket office, and asked how much. Was some euros. I start counting my notes to my anxiety inducing dismay - I was 10c down, if I didn’t account the 50eur bill.

I really didn’t want to break my 50eur cos it was my last day of the 5 week trip and the frugal me wanted to save it for better Forex exchange.

I legit asked the ticket lady if she couldn’t you know ignore the 10c, as it’s my last day + bill scenario. The lady flat out refused in a mildly rude way.

By this time I was holding up the line behind me and this was worsening my anxiety. Behind me were a couple in large backpacks. Maybe they would be kind enough to lend me? I asked them.

They took a minute to understand probably their English wasn’t the best. And the guy whips out his pocket and hands me 10c!

YESSS. You have no idea how much relief I felt.

I buy my ticket. Thank them again, still anxious, waiting for my heart to slow down. I walk aside to let them for their turn.

On my way to the bus, I see them walking towards theirs. I thought I should give them one of the chocolate bars I was taking back home, as a thank you.

I didn’t. I wish I did.

Bunch of reasons why I didn’t. But looking back, none of them mattered. My fears were misplaced.

Could have made a cool story if I had. Possibly one for them too.

Travel also has mini justmiss-es like this. They need an equal sense of remembrances no.

[phalgun]

In this week’s indie music recommendation- Fly to India by Khaikhan.

It takes me back to my time in Auroville in March 2016, where nights were spent under a dark common seating area, with people who you met 3 days ago but have spent the time with them, and not forgetting our green theory friend.

[phalgun]

2022

January 

Hassan

February

:( 

March 

Candolim

Assagao  

Vagator 

Chapora

Mysore 

April 

Coorg 

Trivandrum 

Varkala 

Chadayamangalam 

May 

Canggu

Seminyak

Banyuwangi 

Uluwatu 

Denpasar 

Nusa Penida 

Ubud 

June

Amed

Sidemen 

Singaraja 

Sukasada 

Sawan 

Ubud

July 

Gili Travangan 

Gili Meno 

Ubud

August

:( 

September 

Varca 

Mandrem 

Delhi

Dharamshala 

Dharamkot 

Guwahati 

October

Itanagar

Ziro 

Guwahati 

Tezpur

Rangapara 

Tenzingang

Bomdilla 

Varanasi 

November 

Kodaikanal 

December

Bellary

[phalgun]

2021

January 

Sakleshpur 

February 

Hoskote 

Auroville 

March 

Bangarpet 

April

Ramanagar 

May 

:( 

June

Devarayanadurga 

July

Hyderabad 

Makalidurga 

August

Srinagar 

Ladakh 

Warwan 

Pahalgam 

Aru Valley 

Hirvate, Hassan 

September 

:( 

October 

:( 

November 

Siolim 

Tiruppur 

December

Patna 

Guwahati 

Shillong 

Cherrapunji 

Shnonpendeng, Dawki 

Mawwan 

Sakleshpur