WTF is Pharmercy I Don't Know Her?

Please don't expect any serious content for this blog. I love pharmercy and that's all you need to know. :)

[phar-me-a-mercy]

Things

"Hey babe," Fareeha put her vintage newspaper down to look at her wife, "do you know about things?"

Angela glanced at her wall of academia. She had degrees in all sorts of areas. Medicine. Biotechnology. Chemistry. Physics. Horse physics. Doctoring in space. Dogsitting. Not things tho, not things. She sighed and pointed to something. "That's a salt shaker, right?"

It was their vintage TV, complete with a dvd forever stuck inside. Cats VS Dogs 2 or something.

Fareeha pulled up a wadded up piece of paper from the depths of her couch cushion. "Close, but maybe this will help." It was an 'online degree' that if you squinted hard enough at, you'd see it was a personality test Fareeha took about what kind of grape she'd be. "I got this degree for you."

That wasn't how degrees worked. Except, the instant Angela touched it, she knew ALL.

"Holy shit." Angela clutched at her chest. "The wor-"

And then the world exploded.

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Breaching buddies

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Time Travel

"Hey babe," said Fareeha from the other room.

Angela accidentally poured the pancake batter she worked REALLY HARD on into the trash instead of the rice cooker that she wanted to make a giant pancake with but now it's all ruined and she got a little upsetty spaghetti about it. "Yes dear?" She held back the urge to punch open her emergency knitting set hanging on the kitchen wall. She didn't need it. She'd get over it.

"Could you come over here, I think there's a time anomaly happening right now."

Angela came walking into the living room, having already, and furiously, don't forget furiously, knitted 69 cat sweaters with meowtivational slogans. She didn't lift her head as she contemplated making a hat instead of a sweater. Nah, sweater again. "It's not a time traveling robot salesman again, is it? I hate those." Finally looking up, Angela stopped her knitting when she saw two Fareeha's looking at her.

Fareeha Prime Alpha(bet) One pointed at Fareeha Eagle 2. "This one claims to be future me who came here for 'world-saving' reasons. I don't buy it."

Fareeha the 2nd rolled her eyes and presented a rice cooker to Angela from seemingly out of nowhere. Actually, Angela saw her holding it the entire time but from nowhere seemed cooler. "I'm from 420 years in the future-"

"-You look so good tho," said Angela.

"-they actually made anti-aging cream that works. I started eating it and discovered it works inside too." Older, wiser Fareeha waved it off. "Anyway, you never got over what happened today so after hearing about this very day for 420 years, I finally got off my ass, invented time travel, and came here to make you feel better." She opened the rice cooker and showed Angela the most perfect gaint ass pancake in the known universe.

Angela teared up a little and took the offering. "I actually feel like I can let this go now." Then she paused. "But actually, aren't you the reason why I was upset to begin with?“

Both real and also real but older Fareeha looked at each other. "Fuck."

And then the world exploded.

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Fareeha came home, sweatingly heavy.

"Oh, did you go for a run, shnügerbüfzgi? Or is it just hot outside?" Angela asked.

"Uh, well, you could say that, I guess."

"Hm. What do you mean by that?"

"Well, there was this woman, and she had big bonkledonks." Fareeha gestured the big bonkledonks.

"Bonkledonks? Is that a new kind of pastry? Or some kind of fashion trend I don't know about?"

"No, it's her bangadangawangaroonies, they were ginormous!"

"I honestly have no idea what you are talking about, Fareeha dearest."

"Fancy baubles? Honking stonkers? Biggy-wigglies?"

"Nope, still doesn't ring a bell."

"You know, she has huge tracts of land."

"Ah, she's rich?"

"Uh well, yeah, but no, but … it's like, she bakes her bread with a lot of yeast."

Angela shot her a quizzical look. "Huh, it's quite hard to get rich as a baker, I guess."

"Yes, but I mean … her marble is carved with a jackhammer."

"That's quite a wasteful way to deal with a precious material like that. But I guess she is rich." Angela’s side-eye couldn’t be side-ier, or eye-ier.

"Nonono, what I want to say is, her wrought iron fence points to the sky."

"Ah, you mean she's got big titties! Why didn't you say so from the beginning?"

Fareeha’s shoulders slumped. "I tried, I honestly tried."

"No, you really didn't." And Angela lovingly kissed her on the forehead.

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In the 69th hour of a competition who could stay awake longer Phareeha: “I saw you knodding off right there!” Angella: “I did not! Also, it’s nodding, not knodding.” Phareeha: “Oh is it really? I thought that word was derived from the furry aboo shit.” Angella: “How did you get the idea that it’s derived from that? Not that I know what you’re talking about.” Phareeha: “Well can you blaim me with a mum who dresses up as an owl?” Angella: “Yes, I can. By the way, how did you even learn about that stuff? I have to know what I gotta be prepared for going forward.” Phareeha: “I guess you were only an occasional visitor in old Overwatch. Oh the things I’ve learned there.” Angella: “And your dear mother allowed you to rome freely despite that?” Phareeha: “It was during their ‘open gate’ PR policy days. It couldn’t be helped. By the way, what’s going on with our names? They’re spelled all wrong.” Angella: “I guess this is an alternate universe or something? Or we’re secretly extraterrestrial infiltrators who want to blow the world up the fuck.”

And then the world exploded, while they blew the fuck out of each other.

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Missing

Angela was in the middle of blowing up the world, when she decided she needed a wardrobe change. This bananarama pajama just wouldn’t do for the big finale.

“Fareeha dearie dear, where are my undies?”

Her wife was currently doing a handstand. “Oh, I ate all of them last night.”

“And why did you do that?” Angela poked her bellybutton.

“Well, funny story, I got a bit peckish and accidentally walked into the closet instead of the pantry, what else was I supposed to do? I couldn’t help it.”

“That’s funny. Now I can’t help myself from wearing yours.”

“Oh no, what a terrible fate! My clean and fresh ones! What could I possibly do to prevent this?” Fareeha shifted her handstand onto one hand, and involved her legs in some acrobatics.

“...you know, I have an idea.”

Fifteen minutes later they left the house, Fareeha wrapping herself around Angela’s lower body, serving as replacement underwear, her head peeking out of the skirt. They blew the world up happily ever after.

[phar-me-a-mercy]

Phar Me A Mercy Moodboard

[phar-me-a-mercy]

Dude, I have been sitting in bed for hours reading these fics. They are so funny, I'm crying in the club. It's lit man

Now you've got me crying in the club :') thanks so much!

[phar-me-a-mercy]

"Sometimes I wonder," said Fareeha.

"About what?" asked Angela.

"Stuff."

"And things?"

"Yeah," Fareeha proceeded to open a new package of oreos, "things too."

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Visit Original Link

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[phar-me-a-mercy]

A Whole Plate

"Darling, would you mind being my taste tester for these cookies?" asked Angela. "I have to bring something to the meeting tomorrow."

Fareeha looked up from the abstract painting of her inner thoughts, a bunch of squiggles next to ONE triangle, and saw a single cookie on a plate offered to her. "Sure thing babe." She plucked the cookie from the plate and shoved the entire thing into her mouth. Mm, cookie.

"Well?" Angela was bouncing on her toes. They really needed to move their indoor mini-trampoline.

"I could eat a whole plate of these."

Angela grinned. "Wait right there." She came back with, well, a whole plate of cookies and handed it to Fareeha.

Without having to consult her painting for thoughts, Fareeha ate all of the cookies at once, plate and all. Wiping the cookie crumbs from her lips, Fareeha finally realized something. "Weren't you going to give these out for the meeting tomorrow?"

Angela tilted her head. "The what?"

Fareeha had no idea either.

[phar-me-a-mercy]

[phar-me-a-mercy]

A Whole Plate

"Darling, would you mind being my taste tester for these cookies?" asked Angela. "I have to bring something to the meeting tomorrow."

Fareeha looked up from the abstract painting of her inner thoughts, a bunch of squiggles next to ONE triangle, and saw a single cookie on a plate offered to her. "Sure thing babe." She plucked the cookie from the plate and shoved the entire thing into her mouth. Mm, cookie.

"Well?" Angela was bouncing on her toes. They really needed to move their indoor mini-trampoline.

"I could eat a whole plate of these."

Angela grinned. "Wait right there." She came back with, well, a whole plate of cookies and handed it to Fareeha.

Without having to consult her painting for thoughts, Fareeha ate all of the cookies at once, plate and all. Wiping the cookie crumbs from her lips, Fareeha finally realized something. "Weren't you going to give these out for the meeting tomorrow?"

Angela tilted her head. "The what?"

Fareeha had no idea either.

[phar-me-a-mercy]