EPPRBCU @pharaoh-exclam - Tumblr Blog

Um... a pyramid? In a... fantasy game? Well, I guess I should just go along with it, and see if anyone's home! Maybe I'll be able to make some friends!

[A high pitched, but pleasant voice sings out.]

Helloooo~? Anyone home? (・▽‐)ゞ

(A small tornado of sand appears, before fading. Within stands the Pharaoh.)

Hey! Hey there! You look like the type of person who's willing to invest in a business! Whadaya say?

Erm... A business investment? Oh, well, I was always taught not to join pyramid schemes!

(The Pharaoh gasps.)

It is not a pyramid scheme! How could you say such a thing! I'll have you know it's a perfectly legitimate multi level marketing business!

Okay... But... Um, I was also told to not get involved in those either! ( ⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝)

It's a good source of money, it's safe, you can't lose money, and you get to be your own boss! Why not get involved? It'll be great!

Um... I'm not really sure about that.... I mean, how could I be my own boss if I'm not at the top of the MLM ladder? If I'm at the bottom, then I'll have a hundred bosses above me!

You won't have one hundred bosses above you! You're at the top of the ladder, it's like a platform up here! Everyone's at the top, no one's at the bottom! You can be your own boss!

But just by getting me to join, you become my boss! So that doesn't really count...

No, no, I won't be your boss! I'll just tell you how to make money and stuff! You'll be your own boss.

By telling me how to make money, you'd be my boss! You seem really desperate for me to join your pyramid scheme...

Is someone your boss by giving you tips on how to make a lot of money? And it's not. A. Pyramid. Scheme.

Well, trying to recruit me is a scheme. And you're in a pyramid. So, it's a pyramid scheme! ♫꒰･◡･๑꒱

Stop calling it that. Stop calling it that. Stop calling it that. Stop calling it that. Stop calling it that. Stop calling it that. Stop calling it that. Stop calling it that. Stop calling it that. Stop calling it that. Stop calling it that. Stop calling it that. Stop calling it that. Stop calling it that. Stop calling it that. Stop calling it that. Stop calling it that.

Are you... okay? (•᷄- •᷅ ;)

It's not a pyramid scheme.

Um... Okay then... But I'm still not going to join your Not-A-Pyramid-Scheme!

Why? Why won't you? Is it not enough? You'll be your own boss. You'll make a lot of money. Cash. Coin. Money. You'll have a lot. Don't you want money?

I already have money! From being an idol. A singer? Vocaloid? Any of them work, really!

Well, it's all the other yous who made that money. You didn't earn a dime.

Take my offer. Become your own boss. Get rich. Do it.

Um... No thank you! i... erm... really appreciate the offer! I truly do, but I have... different... career oppurtunities? Yeah...! I have other career options.

[Miku takes a step back, slowly.]

What career options. You don't have career options, you're lying to me. You don't appreciate this at all.

I have another opportunity. Like...

[Miku flicks through a couple menus.]

This one! See, it lists me as... level one street singer.

[You can see her eye twitch slightly at that phrase.]

Which is... um... not ideal. But I'll level up! And... grind. And such. I did it once! I can do it again.

Even though it was some other you. Who, lest we forget, actually sang.

No you won't. You will fail. You will fail at every turn. You will crash and burn. It is inevitable. Unless you take my offer. Take. The. Deal. Be your own boss. Make your own hours. Make a lot of money. Don't you want money? You stand no chance at getting a job except what I'm offering you.

[Miku takes another step backwards. And another. And another]

i think... I think I'll be okay.

Are you stupid? Or deaf? Or blind? You'll die cold and lonely without this deal. You'll get a great deal of cash. Don't you like cash? Money? Gold?

Um... a pyramid? In a... fantasy game? Well, I guess I should just go along with it, and see if anyone's home! Maybe I'll be able to make some friends!

[A high pitched, but pleasant voice sings out.]

Helloooo~? Anyone home? (・▽‐)ゞ

(A small tornado of sand appears, before fading. Within stands the Pharaoh.)

Hey! Hey there! You look like the type of person who's willing to invest in a business! Whadaya say?

Erm... A business investment? Oh, well, I was always taught not to join pyramid schemes!

(The Pharaoh gasps.)

It is not a pyramid scheme! How could you say such a thing! I'll have you know it's a perfectly legitimate multi level marketing business!

Okay... But... Um, I was also told to not get involved in those either! ( ⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝)

It's a good source of money, it's safe, you can't lose money, and you get to be your own boss! Why not get involved? It'll be great!

Um... I'm not really sure about that.... I mean, how could I be my own boss if I'm not at the top of the MLM ladder? If I'm at the bottom, then I'll have a hundred bosses above me!

You won't have one hundred bosses above you! You're at the top of the ladder, it's like a platform up here! Everyone's at the top, no one's at the bottom! You can be your own boss!

But just by getting me to join, you become my boss! So that doesn't really count...

No, no, I won't be your boss! I'll just tell you how to make money and stuff! You'll be your own boss.

By telling me how to make money, you'd be my boss! You seem really desperate for me to join your pyramid scheme...

Is someone your boss by giving you tips on how to make a lot of money? And it's not. A. Pyramid. Scheme.

Well, trying to recruit me is a scheme. And you're in a pyramid. So, it's a pyramid scheme! ♫꒰･◡･๑꒱

Are you... okay? (•᷄- •᷅ ;)

It's not a pyramid scheme.

Um... Okay then... But I'm still not going to join your Not-A-Pyramid-Scheme!

Why? Why won't you? Is it not enough? You'll be your own boss. You'll make a lot of money. Cash. Coin. Money. You'll have a lot. Don't you want money?

I already have money! From being an idol. A singer? Vocaloid? Any of them work, really!

Well, it's all the other yous who made that money. You didn't earn a dime.

Take my offer. Become your own boss. Get rich. Do it.

Um... No thank you! i... erm... really appreciate the offer! I truly do, but I have... different... career oppurtunities? Yeah...! I have other career options.

[Miku takes a step back, slowly.]

What career options. You don't have career options, you're lying to me. You don't appreciate this at all.

I have another opportunity. Like...

[Miku flicks through a couple menus.]

This one! See, it lists me as... level one street singer.

[You can see her eye twitch slightly at that phrase.]

Which is... um... not ideal. But I'll level up! And... grind. And such. I did it once! I can do it again.

Even though it was some other you. Who, lest we forget, actually sang.

Um... a pyramid? In a... fantasy game? Well, I guess I should just go along with it, and see if anyone's home! Maybe I'll be able to make some friends!

[A high pitched, but pleasant voice sings out.]

Helloooo~? Anyone home? (・▽‐)ゞ

(A small tornado of sand appears, before fading. Within stands the Pharaoh.)

Hey! Hey there! You look like the type of person who's willing to invest in a business! Whadaya say?

Erm... A business investment? Oh, well, I was always taught not to join pyramid schemes!

(The Pharaoh gasps.)

It is not a pyramid scheme! How could you say such a thing! I'll have you know it's a perfectly legitimate multi level marketing business!

Okay... But... Um, I was also told to not get involved in those either! ( ⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝)

It's a good source of money, it's safe, you can't lose money, and you get to be your own boss! Why not get involved? It'll be great!

Um... I'm not really sure about that.... I mean, how could I be my own boss if I'm not at the top of the MLM ladder? If I'm at the bottom, then I'll have a hundred bosses above me!

You won't have one hundred bosses above you! You're at the top of the ladder, it's like a platform up here! Everyone's at the top, no one's at the bottom! You can be your own boss!

But just by getting me to join, you become my boss! So that doesn't really count...

No, no, I won't be your boss! I'll just tell you how to make money and stuff! You'll be your own boss.

By telling me how to make money, you'd be my boss! You seem really desperate for me to join your pyramid scheme...

Is someone your boss by giving you tips on how to make a lot of money? And it's not. A. Pyramid. Scheme.

Well, trying to recruit me is a scheme. And you're in a pyramid. So, it's a pyramid scheme! ♫꒰･◡･๑꒱

Are you... okay? (•᷄- •᷅ ;)

It's not a pyramid scheme.

Um... Okay then... But I'm still not going to join your Not-A-Pyramid-Scheme!

Why? Why won't you? Is it not enough? You'll be your own boss. You'll make a lot of money. Cash. Coin. Money. You'll have a lot. Don't you want money?

I already have money! From being an idol. A singer? Vocaloid? Any of them work, really!

Well, it's all the other yous who made that money. You didn't earn a dime.

Take my offer. Become your own boss. Get rich. Do it.

Um... No thank you! i... erm... really appreciate the offer! I truly do, but I have... different... career oppurtunities? Yeah...! I have other career options.

[Miku takes a step back, slowly.]

What career options. You don't have career options, you're lying to me. You don't appreciate this at all.

Um... a pyramid? In a... fantasy game? Well, I guess I should just go along with it, and see if anyone's home! Maybe I'll be able to make some friends!

[A high pitched, but pleasant voice sings out.]

Helloooo~? Anyone home? (・▽‐)ゞ

(A small tornado of sand appears, before fading. Within stands the Pharaoh.)

Hey! Hey there! You look like the type of person who's willing to invest in a business! Whadaya say?

Erm... A business investment? Oh, well, I was always taught not to join pyramid schemes!

(The Pharaoh gasps.)

It is not a pyramid scheme! How could you say such a thing! I'll have you know it's a perfectly legitimate multi level marketing business!

Okay... But... Um, I was also told to not get involved in those either! ( ⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝)

It's a good source of money, it's safe, you can't lose money, and you get to be your own boss! Why not get involved? It'll be great!

Um... I'm not really sure about that.... I mean, how could I be my own boss if I'm not at the top of the MLM ladder? If I'm at the bottom, then I'll have a hundred bosses above me!

You won't have one hundred bosses above you! You're at the top of the ladder, it's like a platform up here! Everyone's at the top, no one's at the bottom! You can be your own boss!

But just by getting me to join, you become my boss! So that doesn't really count...

No, no, I won't be your boss! I'll just tell you how to make money and stuff! You'll be your own boss.

By telling me how to make money, you'd be my boss! You seem really desperate for me to join your pyramid scheme...

Is someone your boss by giving you tips on how to make a lot of money? And it's not. A. Pyramid. Scheme.

Well, trying to recruit me is a scheme. And you're in a pyramid. So, it's a pyramid scheme! ♫꒰･◡･๑꒱

Are you... okay? (•᷄- •᷅ ;)

It's not a pyramid scheme.

Um... Okay then... But I'm still not going to join your Not-A-Pyramid-Scheme!

Why? Why won't you? Is it not enough? You'll be your own boss. You'll make a lot of money. Cash. Coin. Money. You'll have a lot. Don't you want money?

I already have money! From being an idol. A singer? Vocaloid? Any of them work, really!

Well, it's all the other yous who made that money. You didn't earn a dime.

Take my offer. Become your own boss. Get rich. Do it.

Um... a pyramid? In a... fantasy game? Well, I guess I should just go along with it, and see if anyone's home! Maybe I'll be able to make some friends!

[A high pitched, but pleasant voice sings out.]

Helloooo~? Anyone home? (・▽‐)ゞ

(A small tornado of sand appears, before fading. Within stands the Pharaoh.)

Hey! Hey there! You look like the type of person who's willing to invest in a business! Whadaya say?

Erm... A business investment? Oh, well, I was always taught not to join pyramid schemes!

(The Pharaoh gasps.)

It is not a pyramid scheme! How could you say such a thing! I'll have you know it's a perfectly legitimate multi level marketing business!

Okay... But... Um, I was also told to not get involved in those either! ( ⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝)

It's a good source of money, it's safe, you can't lose money, and you get to be your own boss! Why not get involved? It'll be great!

Um... I'm not really sure about that.... I mean, how could I be my own boss if I'm not at the top of the MLM ladder? If I'm at the bottom, then I'll have a hundred bosses above me!

You won't have one hundred bosses above you! You're at the top of the ladder, it's like a platform up here! Everyone's at the top, no one's at the bottom! You can be your own boss!

But just by getting me to join, you become my boss! So that doesn't really count...

No, no, I won't be your boss! I'll just tell you how to make money and stuff! You'll be your own boss.

By telling me how to make money, you'd be my boss! You seem really desperate for me to join your pyramid scheme...

Is someone your boss by giving you tips on how to make a lot of money? And it's not. A. Pyramid. Scheme.

Well, trying to recruit me is a scheme. And you're in a pyramid. So, it's a pyramid scheme! ♫꒰･◡･๑꒱

Are you... okay? (•᷄- •᷅ ;)

It's not a pyramid scheme.

Um... Okay then... But I'm still not going to join your Not-A-Pyramid-Scheme!

Why? Why won't you? Is it not enough? You'll be your own boss. You'll make a lot of money. Cash. Coin. Money. You'll have a lot. Don't you want money?

Um... a pyramid? In a... fantasy game? Well, I guess I should just go along with it, and see if anyone's home! Maybe I'll be able to make some friends!

[A high pitched, but pleasant voice sings out.]

Helloooo~? Anyone home? (・▽‐)ゞ

(A small tornado of sand appears, before fading. Within stands the Pharaoh.)

Hey! Hey there! You look like the type of person who's willing to invest in a business! Whadaya say?

Erm... A business investment? Oh, well, I was always taught not to join pyramid schemes!

(The Pharaoh gasps.)

It is not a pyramid scheme! How could you say such a thing! I'll have you know it's a perfectly legitimate multi level marketing business!

Okay... But... Um, I was also told to not get involved in those either! ( ⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝)

It's a good source of money, it's safe, you can't lose money, and you get to be your own boss! Why not get involved? It'll be great!

Um... I'm not really sure about that.... I mean, how could I be my own boss if I'm not at the top of the MLM ladder? If I'm at the bottom, then I'll have a hundred bosses above me!

You won't have one hundred bosses above you! You're at the top of the ladder, it's like a platform up here! Everyone's at the top, no one's at the bottom! You can be your own boss!

But just by getting me to join, you become my boss! So that doesn't really count...

No, no, I won't be your boss! I'll just tell you how to make money and stuff! You'll be your own boss.

By telling me how to make money, you'd be my boss! You seem really desperate for me to join your pyramid scheme...

Is someone your boss by giving you tips on how to make a lot of money? And it's not. A. Pyramid. Scheme.

Well, trying to recruit me is a scheme. And you're in a pyramid. So, it's a pyramid scheme! ♫꒰･◡･๑꒱

Are you... okay? (•᷄- •᷅ ;)

It's not a pyramid scheme.

Um... a pyramid? In a... fantasy game? Well, I guess I should just go along with it, and see if anyone's home! Maybe I'll be able to make some friends!

[A high pitched, but pleasant voice sings out.]

Helloooo~? Anyone home? (・▽‐)ゞ

(A small tornado of sand appears, before fading. Within stands the Pharaoh.)

Hey! Hey there! You look like the type of person who's willing to invest in a business! Whadaya say?

Erm... A business investment? Oh, well, I was always taught not to join pyramid schemes!

(The Pharaoh gasps.)

It is not a pyramid scheme! How could you say such a thing! I'll have you know it's a perfectly legitimate multi level marketing business!

Okay... But... Um, I was also told to not get involved in those either! ( ⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝)

It's a good source of money, it's safe, you can't lose money, and you get to be your own boss! Why not get involved? It'll be great!

Um... I'm not really sure about that.... I mean, how could I be my own boss if I'm not at the top of the MLM ladder? If I'm at the bottom, then I'll have a hundred bosses above me!

You won't have one hundred bosses above you! You're at the top of the ladder, it's like a platform up here! Everyone's at the top, no one's at the bottom! You can be your own boss!

But just by getting me to join, you become my boss! So that doesn't really count...

No, no, I won't be your boss! I'll just tell you how to make money and stuff! You'll be your own boss.

By telling me how to make money, you'd be my boss! You seem really desperate for me to join your pyramid scheme...

Is someone your boss by giving you tips on how to make a lot of money? And it's not. A. Pyramid. Scheme.

Well, trying to recruit me is a scheme. And you're in a pyramid. So, it's a pyramid scheme! ♫꒰･◡･๑꒱

Um... a pyramid? In a... fantasy game? Well, I guess I should just go along with it, and see if anyone's home! Maybe I'll be able to make some friends!

[A high pitched, but pleasant voice sings out.]

Helloooo~? Anyone home? (・▽‐)ゞ

(A small tornado of sand appears, before fading. Within stands the Pharaoh.)

Hey! Hey there! You look like the type of person who's willing to invest in a business! Whadaya say?

Erm... A business investment? Oh, well, I was always taught not to join pyramid schemes!

(The Pharaoh gasps.)

It is not a pyramid scheme! How could you say such a thing! I'll have you know it's a perfectly legitimate multi level marketing business!

Okay... But... Um, I was also told to not get involved in those either! ( ⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝)

It's a good source of money, it's safe, you can't lose money, and you get to be your own boss! Why not get involved? It'll be great!

Um... I'm not really sure about that.... I mean, how could I be my own boss if I'm not at the top of the MLM ladder? If I'm at the bottom, then I'll have a hundred bosses above me!

You won't have one hundred bosses above you! You're at the top of the ladder, it's like a platform up here! Everyone's at the top, no one's at the bottom! You can be your own boss!

But just by getting me to join, you become my boss! So that doesn't really count...

No, no, I won't be your boss! I'll just tell you how to make money and stuff! You'll be your own boss.

By telling me how to make money, you'd be my boss! You seem really desperate for me to join your pyramid scheme...

Is someone your boss by giving you tips on how to make a lot of money? And it's not. A. Pyramid. Scheme.

Um... a pyramid? In a... fantasy game? Well, I guess I should just go along with it, and see if anyone's home! Maybe I'll be able to make some friends!

[A high pitched, but pleasant voice sings out.]

Helloooo~? Anyone home? (・▽‐)ゞ

(A small tornado of sand appears, before fading. Within stands the Pharaoh.)

Hey! Hey there! You look like the type of person who's willing to invest in a business! Whadaya say?

Erm... A business investment? Oh, well, I was always taught not to join pyramid schemes!

(The Pharaoh gasps.)

It is not a pyramid scheme! How could you say such a thing! I'll have you know it's a perfectly legitimate multi level marketing business!

Okay... But... Um, I was also told to not get involved in those either! ( ⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝)

It's a good source of money, it's safe, you can't lose money, and you get to be your own boss! Why not get involved? It'll be great!

Um... I'm not really sure about that.... I mean, how could I be my own boss if I'm not at the top of the MLM ladder? If I'm at the bottom, then I'll have a hundred bosses above me!

You won't have one hundred bosses above you! You're at the top of the ladder, it's like a platform up here! Everyone's at the top, no one's at the bottom! You can be your own boss!

But just by getting me to join, you become my boss! So that doesn't really count...

No, no, I won't be your boss! I'll just tell you how to make money and stuff! You'll be your own boss.

Um... a pyramid? In a... fantasy game? Well, I guess I should just go along with it, and see if anyone's home! Maybe I'll be able to make some friends!

[A high pitched, but pleasant voice sings out.]

Helloooo~? Anyone home? (・▽‐)ゞ

(A small tornado of sand appears, before fading. Within stands the Pharaoh.)

Hey! Hey there! You look like the type of person who's willing to invest in a business! Whadaya say?

Erm... A business investment? Oh, well, I was always taught not to join pyramid schemes!

(The Pharaoh gasps.)

It is not a pyramid scheme! How could you say such a thing! I'll have you know it's a perfectly legitimate multi level marketing business!

Okay... But... Um, I was also told to not get involved in those either! ( ⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝)

It's a good source of money, it's safe, you can't lose money, and you get to be your own boss! Why not get involved? It'll be great!

Um... I'm not really sure about that.... I mean, how could I be my own boss if I'm not at the top of the MLM ladder? If I'm at the bottom, then I'll have a hundred bosses above me!

#its not a scam #i going eep now goob of might!!! :3 #for it is three am #and i am The Eepy

You won't have one hundred bosses above you! You're at the top of the ladder, it's like a platform up here! Everyone's at the top, no one's at the bottom! You can be your own boss!

Um... a pyramid? In a... fantasy game? Well, I guess I should just go along with it, and see if anyone's home! Maybe I'll be able to make some friends!

[A high pitched, but pleasant voice sings out.]

Helloooo~? Anyone home? (・▽‐)ゞ

(A small tornado of sand appears, before fading. Within stands the Pharaoh.)

Hey! Hey there! You look like the type of person who's willing to invest in a business! Whadaya say?

Erm... A business investment? Oh, well, I was always taught not to join pyramid schemes!

(The Pharaoh gasps.)

It is not a pyramid scheme! How could you say such a thing! I'll have you know it's a perfectly legitimate multi level marketing business!

Okay... But... Um, I was also told to not get involved in those either! ( ⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝)

It's a good source of money, it's safe, you can't lose money, and you get to be your own boss! Why not get involved? It'll be great!

Um... a pyramid? In a... fantasy game? Well, I guess I should just go along with it, and see if anyone's home! Maybe I'll be able to make some friends!

[A high pitched, but pleasant voice sings out.]

Helloooo~? Anyone home? (・▽‐)ゞ

(A small tornado of sand appears, before fading. Within stands the Pharaoh.)

Hey! Hey there! You look like the type of person who's willing to invest in a business! Whadaya say?

Erm... A business investment? Oh, well, I was always taught not to join pyramid schemes!

(The Pharaoh gasps.)

It is not a pyramid scheme! How could you say such a thing! I'll have you know it's a perfectly legitimate multi level marketing business!

#its good to see you again

Um... a pyramid? In a... fantasy game? Well, I guess I should just go along with it, and see if anyone's home! Maybe I'll be able to make some friends!

[A high pitched, but pleasant voice sings out.]

Helloooo~? Anyone home? (・▽‐)ゞ

(A small tornado of sand appears, before fading. Within stands the Pharaoh.)

Hey! Hey there! You look like the type of person who's willing to invest in a business! Whadaya say?

'ey there, youse three. 'ow's it goin'? Youse doin' alright?

-@phil-perconti-epprbcu

Huh? What? Who are you? Yes? I guess?

Oh, that *hic* guy is Phil Perconti, I *hic* think. He's the *hic* boss of the Exclamania mafia or *hic* something.

[cough] Mafia? Exclamania [cough] has one of those?

god where the fuck am i- oh, uh, wh- who are you four?

(Pharaoh appears in a swirling vortex of sand.)

Oh hey! I haven't seen you guys in AGES! Don't tell me, money problems? Heh, do I have the opportunity for you. All you need to do is pay me a small joining fee, then you can recruit people and take part of their fee! We also sell healthy snacks. Sounds great, right?

'kay, what is goin' on 'ere? Where'd the plushie and the pharaoh lookin' guy come from? I was jus' talkin' to those three!

I don't- I don't know. I'm so confused. Why are you here? We- we don't-

(Milli starts coughing and wheezing, then she removes her horn and seems to suck air through it. She seems fine now.)

Sorry, we don't want to join the mafia. I didn't even know a mafia existed. Aren't there laws and lawyers now? I'm not getting arrested.

Uh, I *hic* think they're not accepting new applications now.

Wait, hold up.

*Dexter sips some wine from his wine glass hand*

Right, why the [cough] are there so many people here all of a sudden.

i- i don't know. i was j- just wandering around and ended up, here

Why are you ignoring me. Listen. I have a money making opportunity. All you need to do is pay me a joining fee, then you can recruit people and take part of their fee. Understand? We also sell healthy snacks.

First off, I ain't here to recruit anybody. Secondly, pharaoh guy, if ya' don't stop yappin', I might have to personally take ya' outta the equation, if ya' catch my drift.

Please kill him. He's so damn annoying. Like. You're a mobster, shoot him with a tommy gun or something. Please. He's trying to get us to join a pyramid scheme.

Yeah, what she *hic* said.

Yeah. He's really getting on [cough] my nerves.

w- woah! don't you think that's a bit far? he's annoying but not that annoying

You want to kill me? Again? People keep doing this. I'm trying to give you a job! But...

(He walks over to Phil and stares him directly in the eyes.)

If people constantly want me dead, tell me, how do you think I'm still alive?

I dunno, but ya' won't be livin' any longer!

[Phil then pulls out a tommy gun he somehow had in his pocket and starts shooting the living hell out of Pharaoh]

Oh- dear me, that's loud. Can't you turn that thing down?

I don't *hic* think you can turn down the volume on *hic* that thing while it's being used.

Yeah, not quite how those work.

oh- oh my fucking god

(The bullets pass through pharaoh with ease, spraying sand as they do. Then the wounds immediately heal.)

Killing me... Isn't easy. Only one person has ever succeeded, actually. And I came back the very next day.

(The gun dissolves into sand in Phil's hands.)

Heh... I 'ave a better gun fo' this situation.

[Phil calls in his goons, who bring in the machine bazooka]

And fo' the blue gal, don't worry. This one 'as a silencer. Now then...

[Phil starts using the machine bazooka]

What the Hel, I'm so confused. How do you silence a bazooka‽

I don't *hic* know. It's probably a *hic* very large silencer or something.

Just don't [cough] question it.

why are you still shooting him

(Pharaoh remains unharmed.)

Are you stupid?

(The bazooka decays to sand.)

This really isn't working for you. I think you should just accept my offer before I fill your lungs with sand.

Oh, ya' best do that, 'cuz I ain't acceptin' no offers.

Please don't, I already have asthma. I can't deal with sand lungs or whatever.

Ah, *hic* it. Just fill my *hic* lungs with sand already.

[cough] Please don't.

do i even have lungs like this?

(Phil starts coughing. Sand starts to violently spray out of his mouth. His chest and back hurt. Eventually, seconds from passing out, he has coughed up all the sand.)

Take the offer.

[Phil pants from whatever happened just now]

Only if ya' promise to take ma' role as the leader of the Exclamanian mafia. Ya' hear me?

What the Hel. I think we should run? I can create a portal, I don't want that to happen to me.

Uh, yeah, why *hic* not? Unless Kassel disag*hic*rees.

I'm completely on [cough] board.

i think i'm just going to-

[hashbang tries to run away]

(Hashbang gets trapped in a pit of quicksand.)

Do you not want to be the leader of the mafia? You can join my MLM and still lead the mafia. It's that easy.

Y'know, I was gettin' exhausted from bein' the mafia leader, so findin' someone to replace ol' me is like a breath o' fresh air.

Let's just...

(Mili blows her horn and a portal appears.)

Go.

Alright *hic* then. Just gotta take a *hic* sip.

*Dexter takes a sip out of his wine glass hand*

[Kassel immediately starts trying to go through]

f- fuck!

[hash tries her best to get out of the pit]

(Hash is still stuck.)

I'm not leading the mafia. Hashbrown or whatever your name is, join the MLM or you'll never escape. Capiche?

Then I guess I'll find someone else to replace me. I accept your deal. Whatever happens happens.

n- no! i'm not making another deal!

Good. Phil, pay me fifty CURRENCY and then recruit people to pay you fifty CURRENCY, and I'll take half of it. It's that simple.

As for you, Hashbrown, you'll be here until you do.

Ight, 'ere ya go, buddy.

[Phil gives Pharaoh 50¤]

wait, all you want is 50G?

[-50G]

there. can you let me out now?

There. Now, you two go recruit people then get back to me with half of their joining fee.

Gotcha, buddy.

yeah... sure... i'll get right on that

[hashbang leaves]

Good. Oh bythewayifyoutwodon'tgetbacktomeinaweekI'llkillyoubothBYE!

(The pharaoh explodes into sand.)

'ey there, youse three. 'ow's it goin'? Youse doin' alright?

-@phil-perconti-epprbcu

Huh? What? Who are you? Yes? I guess?

Oh, that *hic* guy is Phil Perconti, I *hic* think. He's the *hic* boss of the Exclamania mafia or *hic* something.

[cough] Mafia? Exclamania [cough] has one of those?

god where the fuck am i- oh, uh, wh- who are you four?

(Pharaoh appears in a swirling vortex of sand.)

'kay, what is goin' on 'ere? Where'd the plushie and the pharaoh lookin' guy come from? I was jus' talkin' to those three!

I don't- I don't know. I'm so confused. Why are you here? We- we don't-

(Milli starts coughing and wheezing, then she removes her horn and seems to suck air through it. She seems fine now.)

Sorry, we don't want to join the mafia. I didn't even know a mafia existed. Aren't there laws and lawyers now? I'm not getting arrested.

Uh, I *hic* think they're not accepting new applications now.

Wait, hold up.

*Dexter sips some wine from his wine glass hand*

Right, why the [cough] are there so many people here all of a sudden.

i- i don't know. i was j- just wandering around and ended up, here

First off, I ain't here to recruit anybody. Secondly, pharaoh guy, if ya' don't stop yappin', I might have to personally take ya' outta the equation, if ya' catch my drift.

Please kill him. He's so damn annoying. Like. You're a mobster, shoot him with a tommy gun or something. Please. He's trying to get us to join a pyramid scheme.

Yeah, what she *hic* said.

Yeah. He's really getting on [cough] my nerves.

w- woah! don't you think that's a bit far? he's annoying but not that annoying

You want to kill me? Again? People keep doing this. I'm trying to give you a job! But...

(He walks over to Phil and stares him directly in the eyes.)

If people constantly want me dead, tell me, how do you think I'm still alive?

I dunno, but ya' won't be livin' any longer!

[Phil then pulls out a tommy gun he somehow had in his pocket and starts shooting the living hell out of Pharaoh]

Oh- dear me, that's loud. Can't you turn that thing down?

I don't *hic* think you can turn down the volume on *hic* that thing while it's being used.

Yeah, not quite how those work.

oh- oh my fucking god

(The bullets pass through pharaoh with ease, spraying sand as they do. Then the wounds immediately heal.)

Killing me... Isn't easy. Only one person has ever succeeded, actually. And I came back the very next day.

(The gun dissolves into sand in Phil's hands.)

Heh... I 'ave a better gun fo' this situation.

[Phil calls in his goons, who bring in the machine bazooka]

And fo' the blue gal, don't worry. This one 'as a silencer. Now then...

[Phil starts using the machine bazooka]

What the Hel, I'm so confused. How do you silence a bazooka‽

I don't *hic* know. It's probably a *hic* very large silencer or something.

Just don't [cough] question it.

why are you still shooting him

(Pharaoh remains unharmed.)

Are you stupid?

(The bazooka decays to sand.)

This really isn't working for you. I think you should just accept my offer before I fill your lungs with sand.

Oh, ya' best do that, 'cuz I ain't acceptin' no offers.

Please don't, I already have asthma. I can't deal with sand lungs or whatever.

Ah, *hic* it. Just fill my *hic* lungs with sand already.

[cough] Please don't.

do i even have lungs like this?

(Phil starts coughing. Sand starts to violently spray out of his mouth. His chest and back hurt. Eventually, seconds from passing out, he has coughed up all the sand.)

Take the offer.

[Phil pants from whatever happened just now]

Only if ya' promise to take ma' role as the leader of the Exclamanian mafia. Ya' hear me?

What the Hel. I think we should run? I can create a portal, I don't want that to happen to me.

Uh, yeah, why *hic* not? Unless Kassel disag*hic*rees.

I'm completely on [cough] board.

i think i'm just going to-

[hashbang tries to run away]

(Hashbang gets trapped in a pit of quicksand.)

Do you not want to be the leader of the mafia? You can join my MLM and still lead the mafia. It's that easy.

Y'know, I was gettin' exhausted from bein' the mafia leader, so findin' someone to replace ol' me is like a breath o' fresh air.

Let's just...

(Mili blows her horn and a portal appears.)

Go.

Alright *hic* then. Just gotta take a *hic* sip.

*Dexter takes a sip out of his wine glass hand*

[Kassel immediately starts trying to go through]

f- fuck!

[hash tries her best to get out of the pit]

(Hash is still stuck.)

I'm not leading the mafia. Hashbrown or whatever your name is, join the MLM or you'll never escape. Capiche?

Then I guess I'll find someone else to replace me. I accept your deal. Whatever happens happens.

n- no! i'm not making another deal!

Good. Phil, pay me fifty CURRENCY and then recruit people to pay you fifty CURRENCY, and I'll take half of it. It's that simple.

As for you, Hashbrown, you'll be here until you do.

Ight, 'ere ya go, buddy.

[Phil gives Pharaoh 50¤]

wait, all you want is 50G?

[-50G]

there. can you let me out now?

There. Now, you two go recruit people then get back to me with half of their joining fee.