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@phil-perconti-epprbcu
Ay, how's it goin'? The name's Phil Perconti, Boss of the Exclamanian Mafia. Youse musta heard o' me. What? Youse didn't hear o' Phil Perconti? Oh, right. This blog was jus' created. Now get outta 'ere. I got a client in 15 minutes.
[This blog is run by N.A.E. of @hnoc-system]
[Tags:] #perconti's life = lore #perconti's client = interactions #percNOTi = ooc posting #perconti's phone calls = asks
'ey, Desti! Long time no see, buddy! 'ow's it goin'?
-@phil-perconti-epprbcu
Uh, hey there. You're Phil, right? Why are you so... cheered up?
Why? Oh, ma' lil' Desti, it's 'cuz I've got a special business opportunity! Yes, I'm supposed ta' be the mafia leader, but long story short, I'm now part of a business that allows ya' ta' get a lotta money fast!
Okay? There's got to be some sort of price, right?
Of course there is! All ya' 'ave ta' do is gimme 50G, and then get others ta' give ya' 50G, and then gimme 'alf o' their entry fee! That's what the 'ead 'oncho o' this thing told me to do.
Only 50G? Damn. That's not a lot. Here you go!
[Desti gives Phil 50G]
Thanks, Desti. Now go and get others ta' give ya' 50G. Also, you're now co-leader o' the mafia.
'ey, Desti! Long time no see, buddy! 'ow's it goin'?
-@phil-perconti-epprbcu
Uh, hey there. You're Phil, right? Why are you so... cheered up?
Why? Oh, ma' lil' Desti, it's 'cuz I've got a special business opportunity! Yes, I'm supposed ta' be the mafia leader, but long story short, I'm now part of a business that allows ya' ta' get a lotta money fast!
Okay? There's got to be some sort of price, right?
Of course there is! All ya' 'ave ta' do is gimme 50G, and then get others ta' give ya' 50G, and then gimme 'alf o' their entry fee! That's what the 'ead 'oncho o' this thing told me to do.
'ey, Desti! Long time no see, buddy! 'ow's it goin'?
-@phil-perconti-epprbcu
Uh, hey there. You're Phil, right? Why are you so... cheered up?
Why? Oh, ma' lil' Desti, it's 'cuz I've got a special business opportunity! Yes, I'm supposed ta' be the mafia leader, but long story short, I'm now part of a business that allows ya' ta' get a lotta money fast!
'ey there, youse three. 'ow's it goin'? Youse doin' alright?
-@phil-perconti-epprbcu
Huh? What? Who are you? Yes? I guess?
Oh, that *hic* guy is Phil Perconti, I *hic* think. He's the *hic* boss of the Exclamania mafia or *hic* something.
[cough] Mafia? Exclamania [cough] has one of those?
god where the fuck am i- oh, uh, wh- who are you four?
(Pharaoh appears in a swirling vortex of sand.)
Oh hey! I haven't seen you guys in AGES! Don't tell me, money problems? Heh, do I have the opportunity for you. All you need to do is pay me a small joining fee, then you can recruit people and take part of their fee! We also sell healthy snacks. Sounds great, right?
'kay, what is goin' on 'ere? Where'd the plushie and the pharaoh lookin' guy come from? I was jus' talkin' to those three!
I don't- I don't know. I'm so confused. Why are you here? We- we don't-
(Milli starts coughing and wheezing, then she removes her horn and seems to suck air through it. She seems fine now.)
Sorry, we don't want to join the mafia. I didn't even know a mafia existed. Aren't there laws and lawyers now? I'm not getting arrested.
Uh, I *hic* think they're not accepting new applications now.
Wait, hold up.
*Dexter sips some wine from his wine glass hand*
Right, why the [cough] are there so many people here all of a sudden.
i- i don't know. i was j- just wandering around and ended up, here
Why are you ignoring me. Listen. I have a money making opportunity. All you need to do is pay me a joining fee, then you can recruit people and take part of their fee. Understand? We also sell healthy snacks.
First off, I ain't here to recruit anybody. Secondly, pharaoh guy, if ya' don't stop yappin', I might have to personally take ya' outta the equation, if ya' catch my drift.
Please kill him. He's so damn annoying. Like. You're a mobster, shoot him with a tommy gun or something. Please. He's trying to get us to join a pyramid scheme.
Yeah, what she *hic* said.
Yeah. He's really getting on [cough] my nerves.
w- woah! don't you think that's a bit far? he's annoying but not that annoying
You want to kill me? Again? People keep doing this. I'm trying to give you a job! But...
(He walks over to Phil and stares him directly in the eyes.)
If people constantly want me dead, tell me, how do you think I'm still alive?
I dunno, but ya' won't be livin' any longer!
[Phil then pulls out a tommy gun he somehow had in his pocket and starts shooting the living hell out of Pharaoh]
Oh- dear me, that's loud. Can't you turn that thing down?
I don't *hic* think you can turn down the volume on *hic* that thing while it's being used.
Yeah, not quite how those work.
oh- oh my fucking god
(The bullets pass through pharaoh with ease, spraying sand as they do. Then the wounds immediately heal.)
Killing me... Isn't easy. Only one person has ever succeeded, actually. And I came back the very next day.
(The gun dissolves into sand in Phil's hands.)
Heh... I 'ave a better gun fo' this situation.
[Phil calls in his goons, who bring in the machine bazooka]
And fo' the blue gal, don't worry. This one 'as a silencer. Now then...
[Phil starts using the machine bazooka]
What the Hel, I'm so confused. How do you silence a bazooka‽
I don't *hic* know. It's probably a *hic* very large silencer or something.
Just don't [cough] question it.
why are you still shooting him
(Pharaoh remains unharmed.)
Are you stupid?
(The bazooka decays to sand.)
This really isn't working for you. I think you should just accept my offer before I fill your lungs with sand.
Oh, ya' best do that, 'cuz I ain't acceptin' no offers.
Please don't, I already have asthma. I can't deal with sand lungs or whatever.
Ah, *hic* it. Just fill my *hic* lungs with sand already.
[cough] Please don't.
do i even have lungs like this?
(Phil starts coughing. Sand starts to violently spray out of his mouth. His chest and back hurt. Eventually, seconds from passing out, he has coughed up all the sand.)
Take the offer.
[Phil pants from whatever happened just now]
Only if ya' promise to take ma' role as the leader of the Exclamanian mafia. Ya' hear me?
What the Hel. I think we should run? I can create a portal, I don't want that to happen to me.
Uh, yeah, why *hic* not? Unless Kassel disag*hic*rees.
I'm completely on [cough] board.
i think i'm just going to-
[hashbang tries to run away]
(Hashbang gets trapped in a pit of quicksand.)
Do you not want to be the leader of the mafia? You can join my MLM and still lead the mafia. It's that easy.
Y'know, I was gettin' exhausted from bein' the mafia leader, so findin' someone to replace ol' me is like a breath o' fresh air.
Let's just...
(Mili blows her horn and a portal appears.)
Go.
Alright *hic* then. Just gotta take a *hic* sip.
*Dexter takes a sip out of his wine glass hand*
[Kassel immediately starts trying to go through]
f- fuck!
[hash tries her best to get out of the pit]
(Hash is still stuck.)
I'm not leading the mafia. Hashbrown or whatever your name is, join the MLM or you'll never escape. Capiche?
Then I guess I'll find someone else to replace me. I accept your deal. Whatever happens happens.
n- no! i'm not making another deal!
Good. Phil, pay me fifty CURRENCY and then recruit people to pay you fifty CURRENCY, and I'll take half of it. It's that simple.
As for you, Hashbrown, you'll be here until you do.
Ight, 'ere ya go, buddy.
[Phil gives Pharaoh 50¤]
wait, all you want is 50G?
[-50G]
there. can you let me out now?
There. Now, you two go recruit people then get back to me with half of their joining fee.
Gotcha, buddy.
'ey there, youse three. 'ow's it goin'? Youse doin' alright?
-@phil-perconti-epprbcu
Huh? What? Who are you? Yes? I guess?
Oh, that *hic* guy is Phil Perconti, I *hic* think. He's the *hic* boss of the Exclamania mafia or *hic* something.
[cough] Mafia? Exclamania [cough] has one of those?
god where the fuck am i- oh, uh, wh- who are you four?
(Pharaoh appears in a swirling vortex of sand.)
Oh hey! I haven't seen you guys in AGES! Don't tell me, money problems? Heh, do I have the opportunity for you. All you need to do is pay me a small joining fee, then you can recruit people and take part of their fee! We also sell healthy snacks. Sounds great, right?
'kay, what is goin' on 'ere? Where'd the plushie and the pharaoh lookin' guy come from? I was jus' talkin' to those three!
I don't- I don't know. I'm so confused. Why are you here? We- we don't-
(Milli starts coughing and wheezing, then she removes her horn and seems to suck air through it. She seems fine now.)
Sorry, we don't want to join the mafia. I didn't even know a mafia existed. Aren't there laws and lawyers now? I'm not getting arrested.
Uh, I *hic* think they're not accepting new applications now.
Wait, hold up.
*Dexter sips some wine from his wine glass hand*
Right, why the [cough] are there so many people here all of a sudden.
i- i don't know. i was j- just wandering around and ended up, here
Why are you ignoring me. Listen. I have a money making opportunity. All you need to do is pay me a joining fee, then you can recruit people and take part of their fee. Understand? We also sell healthy snacks.
First off, I ain't here to recruit anybody. Secondly, pharaoh guy, if ya' don't stop yappin', I might have to personally take ya' outta the equation, if ya' catch my drift.
Please kill him. He's so damn annoying. Like. You're a mobster, shoot him with a tommy gun or something. Please. He's trying to get us to join a pyramid scheme.
Yeah, what she *hic* said.
Yeah. He's really getting on [cough] my nerves.
w- woah! don't you think that's a bit far? he's annoying but not that annoying
You want to kill me? Again? People keep doing this. I'm trying to give you a job! But...
(He walks over to Phil and stares him directly in the eyes.)
If people constantly want me dead, tell me, how do you think I'm still alive?
I dunno, but ya' won't be livin' any longer!
[Phil then pulls out a tommy gun he somehow had in his pocket and starts shooting the living hell out of Pharaoh]
Oh- dear me, that's loud. Can't you turn that thing down?
I don't *hic* think you can turn down the volume on *hic* that thing while it's being used.
Yeah, not quite how those work.
oh- oh my fucking god
(The bullets pass through pharaoh with ease, spraying sand as they do. Then the wounds immediately heal.)
Killing me... Isn't easy. Only one person has ever succeeded, actually. And I came back the very next day.
(The gun dissolves into sand in Phil's hands.)
Heh... I 'ave a better gun fo' this situation.
[Phil calls in his goons, who bring in the machine bazooka]
And fo' the blue gal, don't worry. This one 'as a silencer. Now then...
[Phil starts using the machine bazooka]
What the Hel, I'm so confused. How do you silence a bazooka‽
I don't *hic* know. It's probably a *hic* very large silencer or something.
Just don't [cough] question it.
why are you still shooting him
(Pharaoh remains unharmed.)
Are you stupid?
(The bazooka decays to sand.)
This really isn't working for you. I think you should just accept my offer before I fill your lungs with sand.
Oh, ya' best do that, 'cuz I ain't acceptin' no offers.
Please don't, I already have asthma. I can't deal with sand lungs or whatever.
Ah, *hic* it. Just fill my *hic* lungs with sand already.
[cough] Please don't.
do i even have lungs like this?
(Phil starts coughing. Sand starts to violently spray out of his mouth. His chest and back hurt. Eventually, seconds from passing out, he has coughed up all the sand.)
Take the offer.
[Phil pants from whatever happened just now]
Only if ya' promise to take ma' role as the leader of the Exclamanian mafia. Ya' hear me?
What the Hel. I think we should run? I can create a portal, I don't want that to happen to me.
Uh, yeah, why *hic* not? Unless Kassel disag*hic*rees.
I'm completely on [cough] board.
i think i'm just going to-
[hashbang tries to run away]
(Hashbang gets trapped in a pit of quicksand.)
Do you not want to be the leader of the mafia? You can join my MLM and still lead the mafia. It's that easy.
Y'know, I was gettin' exhausted from bein' the mafia leader, so findin' someone to replace ol' me is like a breath o' fresh air.
Let's just...
(Mili blows her horn and a portal appears.)
Go.
Alright *hic* then. Just gotta take a *hic* sip.
*Dexter takes a sip out of his wine glass hand*
[Kassel immediately starts trying to go through]
f- fuck!
[hash tries her best to get out of the pit]
(Hash is still stuck.)
I'm not leading the mafia. Hashbrown or whatever your name is, join the MLM or you'll never escape. Capiche?
Then I guess I'll find someone else to replace me. I accept your deal. Whatever happens happens.
n- no! i'm not making another deal!
Good. Phil, pay me fifty CURRENCY and then recruit people to pay you fifty CURRENCY, and I'll take half of it. It's that simple.
As for you, Hashbrown, you'll be here until you do.
Ight, 'ere ya go, buddy.
[Phil gives Pharaoh 50¤]
'ey there, youse three. 'ow's it goin'? Youse doin' alright?
-@phil-perconti-epprbcu
Huh? What? Who are you? Yes? I guess?
Oh, that *hic* guy is Phil Perconti, I *hic* think. He's the *hic* boss of the Exclamania mafia or *hic* something.
[cough] Mafia? Exclamania [cough] has one of those?
god where the fuck am i- oh, uh, wh- who are you four?
(Pharaoh appears in a swirling vortex of sand.)
Oh hey! I haven't seen you guys in AGES! Don't tell me, money problems? Heh, do I have the opportunity for you. All you need to do is pay me a small joining fee, then you can recruit people and take part of their fee! We also sell healthy snacks. Sounds great, right?
'kay, what is goin' on 'ere? Where'd the plushie and the pharaoh lookin' guy come from? I was jus' talkin' to those three!
I don't- I don't know. I'm so confused. Why are you here? We- we don't-
(Milli starts coughing and wheezing, then she removes her horn and seems to suck air through it. She seems fine now.)
Sorry, we don't want to join the mafia. I didn't even know a mafia existed. Aren't there laws and lawyers now? I'm not getting arrested.
Uh, I *hic* think they're not accepting new applications now.
Wait, hold up.
*Dexter sips some wine from his wine glass hand*
Right, why the [cough] are there so many people here all of a sudden.
i- i don't know. i was j- just wandering around and ended up, here
Why are you ignoring me. Listen. I have a money making opportunity. All you need to do is pay me a joining fee, then you can recruit people and take part of their fee. Understand? We also sell healthy snacks.
First off, I ain't here to recruit anybody. Secondly, pharaoh guy, if ya' don't stop yappin', I might have to personally take ya' outta the equation, if ya' catch my drift.
Please kill him. He's so damn annoying. Like. You're a mobster, shoot him with a tommy gun or something. Please. He's trying to get us to join a pyramid scheme.
Yeah, what she *hic* said.
Yeah. He's really getting on [cough] my nerves.
w- woah! don't you think that's a bit far? he's annoying but not that annoying
You want to kill me? Again? People keep doing this. I'm trying to give you a job! But...
(He walks over to Phil and stares him directly in the eyes.)
If people constantly want me dead, tell me, how do you think I'm still alive?
I dunno, but ya' won't be livin' any longer!
[Phil then pulls out a tommy gun he somehow had in his pocket and starts shooting the living hell out of Pharaoh]
Oh- dear me, that's loud. Can't you turn that thing down?
I don't *hic* think you can turn down the volume on *hic* that thing while it's being used.
Yeah, not quite how those work.
oh- oh my fucking god
(The bullets pass through pharaoh with ease, spraying sand as they do. Then the wounds immediately heal.)
Killing me... Isn't easy. Only one person has ever succeeded, actually. And I came back the very next day.
(The gun dissolves into sand in Phil's hands.)
Heh... I 'ave a better gun fo' this situation.
[Phil calls in his goons, who bring in the machine bazooka]
And fo' the blue gal, don't worry. This one 'as a silencer. Now then...
[Phil starts using the machine bazooka]
What the Hel, I'm so confused. How do you silence a bazooka‽
I don't *hic* know. It's probably a *hic* very large silencer or something.
Just don't [cough] question it.
why are you still shooting him
(Pharaoh remains unharmed.)
Are you stupid?
(The bazooka decays to sand.)
This really isn't working for you. I think you should just accept my offer before I fill your lungs with sand.
Oh, ya' best do that, 'cuz I ain't acceptin' no offers.
Please don't, I already have asthma. I can't deal with sand lungs or whatever.
Ah, *hic* it. Just fill my *hic* lungs with sand already.
[cough] Please don't.
do i even have lungs like this?
(Phil starts coughing. Sand starts to violently spray out of his mouth. His chest and back hurt. Eventually, seconds from passing out, he has coughed up all the sand.)
Take the offer.
[Phil pants from whatever happened just now]
Only if ya' promise to take ma' role as the leader of the Exclamanian mafia. Ya' hear me?
What the Hel. I think we should run? I can create a portal, I don't want that to happen to me.
Uh, yeah, why *hic* not? Unless Kassel disag*hic*rees.
I'm completely on [cough] board.
i think i'm just going to-
[hashbang tries to run away]
(Hashbang gets trapped in a pit of quicksand.)
Do you not want to be the leader of the mafia? You can join my MLM and still lead the mafia. It's that easy.
Y'know, I was gettin' exhausted from bein' the mafia leader, so findin' someone to replace ol' me is like a breath o' fresh air.
Let's just...
(Mili blows her horn and a portal appears.)
Go.
Alright *hic* then. Just gotta take a *hic* sip.
*Dexter takes a sip out of his wine glass hand*
[Kassel immediately starts trying to go through]
f- fuck!
[hash tries her best to get out of the pit]
(Hash is still stuck.)
I'm not leading the mafia. Hashbrown or whatever your name is, join the MLM or you'll never escape. Capiche?
Then I guess I'll find someone else to replace me. I accept your deal. Whatever happens happens.
'ey there, youse three. 'ow's it goin'? Youse doin' alright?
-@phil-perconti-epprbcu
Huh? What? Who are you? Yes? I guess?
Oh, that *hic* guy is Phil Perconti, I *hic* think. He's the *hic* boss of the Exclamania mafia or *hic* something.
[cough] Mafia? Exclamania [cough] has one of those?
god where the fuck am i- oh, uh, wh- who are you four?
(Pharaoh appears in a swirling vortex of sand.)
Oh hey! I haven't seen you guys in AGES! Don't tell me, money problems? Heh, do I have the opportunity for you. All you need to do is pay me a small joining fee, then you can recruit people and take part of their fee! We also sell healthy snacks. Sounds great, right?
'kay, what is goin' on 'ere? Where'd the plushie and the pharaoh lookin' guy come from? I was jus' talkin' to those three!
I don't- I don't know. I'm so confused. Why are you here? We- we don't-
(Milli starts coughing and wheezing, then she removes her horn and seems to suck air through it. She seems fine now.)
Sorry, we don't want to join the mafia. I didn't even know a mafia existed. Aren't there laws and lawyers now? I'm not getting arrested.
Uh, I *hic* think they're not accepting new applications now.
Wait, hold up.
*Dexter sips some wine from his wine glass hand*
Right, why the [cough] are there so many people here all of a sudden.
i- i don't know. i was j- just wandering around and ended up, here
Why are you ignoring me. Listen. I have a money making opportunity. All you need to do is pay me a joining fee, then you can recruit people and take part of their fee. Understand? We also sell healthy snacks.
First off, I ain't here to recruit anybody. Secondly, pharaoh guy, if ya' don't stop yappin', I might have to personally take ya' outta the equation, if ya' catch my drift.
Please kill him. He's so damn annoying. Like. You're a mobster, shoot him with a tommy gun or something. Please. He's trying to get us to join a pyramid scheme.
Yeah, what she *hic* said.
Yeah. He's really getting on [cough] my nerves.
w- woah! don't you think that's a bit far? he's annoying but not that annoying
You want to kill me? Again? People keep doing this. I'm trying to give you a job! But...
(He walks over to Phil and stares him directly in the eyes.)
If people constantly want me dead, tell me, how do you think I'm still alive?
I dunno, but ya' won't be livin' any longer!
[Phil then pulls out a tommy gun he somehow had in his pocket and starts shooting the living hell out of Pharaoh]
Oh- dear me, that's loud. Can't you turn that thing down?
I don't *hic* think you can turn down the volume on *hic* that thing while it's being used.
Yeah, not quite how those work.
oh- oh my fucking god
(The bullets pass through pharaoh with ease, spraying sand as they do. Then the wounds immediately heal.)
Killing me... Isn't easy. Only one person has ever succeeded, actually. And I came back the very next day.
(The gun dissolves into sand in Phil's hands.)
Heh... I 'ave a better gun fo' this situation.
[Phil calls in his goons, who bring in the machine bazooka]
And fo' the blue gal, don't worry. This one 'as a silencer. Now then...
[Phil starts using the machine bazooka]
What the Hel, I'm so confused. How do you silence a bazooka‽
I don't *hic* know. It's probably a *hic* very large silencer or something.
Just don't [cough] question it.
why are you still shooting him
(Pharaoh remains unharmed.)
Are you stupid?
(The bazooka decays to sand.)
This really isn't working for you. I think you should just accept my offer before I fill your lungs with sand.
Oh, ya' best do that, 'cuz I ain't acceptin' no offers.
Please don't, I already have asthma. I can't deal with sand lungs or whatever.
Ah, *hic* it. Just fill my *hic* lungs with sand already.
[cough] Please don't.
do i even have lungs like this?
(Phil starts coughing. Sand starts to violently spray out of his mouth. His chest and back hurt. Eventually, seconds from passing out, he has coughed up all the sand.)
Take the offer.
[Phil pants from whatever happened just now]
Only if ya' promise to take ma' role as the leader of the Exclamanian mafia. Ya' hear me?
What the Hel. I think we should run? I can create a portal, I don't want that to happen to me.
Uh, yeah, why *hic* not? Unless Kassel disag*hic*rees.
I'm completely on [cough] board.
i think i'm just going to-
[hashbang tries to run away]
(Hashbang gets trapped in a pit of quicksand.)
Do you not want to be the leader of the mafia? You can join my MLM and still lead the mafia. It's that easy.
Y'know, I was gettin' exhausted from bein' the mafia leader, so findin' someone to replace ol' me is like a breath o' fresh air.
'ey there, youse three. 'ow's it goin'? Youse doin' alright?
-@phil-perconti-epprbcu
Huh? What? Who are you? Yes? I guess?
Oh, that *hic* guy is Phil Perconti, I *hic* think. He's the *hic* boss of the Exclamania mafia or *hic* something.
[cough] Mafia? Exclamania [cough] has one of those?
god where the fuck am i- oh, uh, wh- who are you four?
(Pharaoh appears in a swirling vortex of sand.)
Oh hey! I haven't seen you guys in AGES! Don't tell me, money problems? Heh, do I have the opportunity for you. All you need to do is pay me a small joining fee, then you can recruit people and take part of their fee! We also sell healthy snacks. Sounds great, right?
'kay, what is goin' on 'ere? Where'd the plushie and the pharaoh lookin' guy come from? I was jus' talkin' to those three!
I don't- I don't know. I'm so confused. Why are you here? We- we don't-
(Milli starts coughing and wheezing, then she removes her horn and seems to suck air through it. She seems fine now.)
Sorry, we don't want to join the mafia. I didn't even know a mafia existed. Aren't there laws and lawyers now? I'm not getting arrested.
Uh, I *hic* think they're not accepting new applications now.
Wait, hold up.
*Dexter sips some wine from his wine glass hand*
Right, why the [cough] are there so many people here all of a sudden.
i- i don't know. i was j- just wandering around and ended up, here
Why are you ignoring me. Listen. I have a money making opportunity. All you need to do is pay me a joining fee, then you can recruit people and take part of their fee. Understand? We also sell healthy snacks.
First off, I ain't here to recruit anybody. Secondly, pharaoh guy, if ya' don't stop yappin', I might have to personally take ya' outta the equation, if ya' catch my drift.
Please kill him. He's so damn annoying. Like. You're a mobster, shoot him with a tommy gun or something. Please. He's trying to get us to join a pyramid scheme.
Yeah, what she *hic* said.
Yeah. He's really getting on [cough] my nerves.
w- woah! don't you think that's a bit far? he's annoying but not that annoying
You want to kill me? Again? People keep doing this. I'm trying to give you a job! But...
(He walks over to Phil and stares him directly in the eyes.)
If people constantly want me dead, tell me, how do you think I'm still alive?
I dunno, but ya' won't be livin' any longer!
[Phil then pulls out a tommy gun he somehow had in his pocket and starts shooting the living hell out of Pharaoh]
Oh- dear me, that's loud. Can't you turn that thing down?
I don't *hic* think you can turn down the volume on *hic* that thing while it's being used.
Yeah, not quite how those work.
oh- oh my fucking god
(The bullets pass through pharaoh with ease, spraying sand as they do. Then the wounds immediately heal.)
Killing me... Isn't easy. Only one person has ever succeeded, actually. And I came back the very next day.
(The gun dissolves into sand in Phil's hands.)
Heh... I 'ave a better gun fo' this situation.
[Phil calls in his goons, who bring in the machine bazooka]
And fo' the blue gal, don't worry. This one 'as a silencer. Now then...
[Phil starts using the machine bazooka]
What the Hel, I'm so confused. How do you silence a bazooka‽
I don't *hic* know. It's probably a *hic* very large silencer or something.
Just don't [cough] question it.
why are you still shooting him
(Pharaoh remains unharmed.)
Are you stupid?
(The bazooka decays to sand.)
This really isn't working for you. I think you should just accept my offer before I fill your lungs with sand.
Oh, ya' best do that, 'cuz I ain't acceptin' no offers.
Please don't, I already have asthma. I can't deal with sand lungs or whatever.
Ah, *hic* it. Just fill my *hic* lungs with sand already.
[cough] Please don't.
do i even have lungs like this?
(Phil starts coughing. Sand starts to violently spray out of his mouth. His chest and back hurt. Eventually, seconds from passing out, he has coughed up all the sand.)
Take the offer.
[Phil pants from whatever happened just now]
Only if ya' promise to take ma' role as the leader of the Exclamanian mafia. Ya' hear me?
'ey there, youse three. 'ow's it goin'? Youse doin' alright?
-@phil-perconti-epprbcu
Huh? What? Who are you? Yes? I guess?
Oh, that *hic* guy is Phil Perconti, I *hic* think. He's the *hic* boss of the Exclamania mafia or *hic* something.
[cough] Mafia? Exclamania [cough] has one of those?
god where the fuck am i- oh, uh, wh- who are you four?
(Pharaoh appears in a swirling vortex of sand.)
Oh hey! I haven't seen you guys in AGES! Don't tell me, money problems? Heh, do I have the opportunity for you. All you need to do is pay me a small joining fee, then you can recruit people and take part of their fee! We also sell healthy snacks. Sounds great, right?
'kay, what is goin' on 'ere? Where'd the plushie and the pharaoh lookin' guy come from? I was jus' talkin' to those three!
I don't- I don't know. I'm so confused. Why are you here? We- we don't-
(Milli starts coughing and wheezing, then she removes her horn and seems to suck air through it. She seems fine now.)
Sorry, we don't want to join the mafia. I didn't even know a mafia existed. Aren't there laws and lawyers now? I'm not getting arrested.
Uh, I *hic* think they're not accepting new applications now.
Wait, hold up.
*Dexter sips some wine from his wine glass hand*
Right, why the [cough] are there so many people here all of a sudden.
i- i don't know. i was j- just wandering around and ended up, here
Why are you ignoring me. Listen. I have a money making opportunity. All you need to do is pay me a joining fee, then you can recruit people and take part of their fee. Understand? We also sell healthy snacks.
First off, I ain't here to recruit anybody. Secondly, pharaoh guy, if ya' don't stop yappin', I might have to personally take ya' outta the equation, if ya' catch my drift.
Please kill him. He's so damn annoying. Like. You're a mobster, shoot him with a tommy gun or something. Please. He's trying to get us to join a pyramid scheme.
Yeah, what she *hic* said.
Yeah. He's really getting on [cough] my nerves.
w- woah! don't you think that's a bit far? he's annoying but not that annoying
You want to kill me? Again? People keep doing this. I'm trying to give you a job! But...
(He walks over to Phil and stares him directly in the eyes.)
If people constantly want me dead, tell me, how do you think I'm still alive?
I dunno, but ya' won't be livin' any longer!
[Phil then pulls out a tommy gun he somehow had in his pocket and starts shooting the living hell out of Pharaoh]
Oh- dear me, that's loud. Can't you turn that thing down?
I don't *hic* think you can turn down the volume on *hic* that thing while it's being used.
Yeah, not quite how those work.
oh- oh my fucking god
(The bullets pass through pharaoh with ease, spraying sand as they do. Then the wounds immediately heal.)
Killing me... Isn't easy. Only one person has ever succeeded, actually. And I came back the very next day.
(The gun dissolves into sand in Phil's hands.)
Heh... I 'ave a better gun fo' this situation.
[Phil calls in his goons, who bring in the machine bazooka]
And fo' the blue gal, don't worry. This one 'as a silencer. Now then...
[Phil starts using the machine bazooka]
What the Hel, I'm so confused. How do you silence a bazooka‽
I don't *hic* know. It's probably a *hic* very large silencer or something.
Just don't [cough] question it.
why are you still shooting him
(Pharaoh remains unharmed.)
Are you stupid?
(The bazooka decays to sand.)
This really isn't working for you. I think you should just accept my offer before I fill your lungs with sand.
Oh, ya' best do that, 'cuz I ain't acceptin' no offers.
'ey there, youse three. 'ow's it goin'? Youse doin' alright?
-@phil-perconti-epprbcu
Huh? What? Who are you? Yes? I guess?
Oh, that *hic* guy is Phil Perconti, I *hic* think. He's the *hic* boss of the Exclamania mafia or *hic* something.
[cough] Mafia? Exclamania [cough] has one of those?
god where the fuck am i- oh, uh, wh- who are you four?
(Pharaoh appears in a swirling vortex of sand.)
Oh hey! I haven't seen you guys in AGES! Don't tell me, money problems? Heh, do I have the opportunity for you. All you need to do is pay me a small joining fee, then you can recruit people and take part of their fee! We also sell healthy snacks. Sounds great, right?
'kay, what is goin' on 'ere? Where'd the plushie and the pharaoh lookin' guy come from? I was jus' talkin' to those three!
I don't- I don't know. I'm so confused. Why are you here? We- we don't-
(Milli starts coughing and wheezing, then she removes her horn and seems to suck air through it. She seems fine now.)
Sorry, we don't want to join the mafia. I didn't even know a mafia existed. Aren't there laws and lawyers now? I'm not getting arrested.
Uh, I *hic* think they're not accepting new applications now.
Wait, hold up.
*Dexter sips some wine from his wine glass hand*
Right, why the [cough] are there so many people here all of a sudden.
i- i don't know. i was j- just wandering around and ended up, here
Why are you ignoring me. Listen. I have a money making opportunity. All you need to do is pay me a joining fee, then you can recruit people and take part of their fee. Understand? We also sell healthy snacks.
First off, I ain't here to recruit anybody. Secondly, pharaoh guy, if ya' don't stop yappin', I might have to personally take ya' outta the equation, if ya' catch my drift.
Please kill him. He's so damn annoying. Like. You're a mobster, shoot him with a tommy gun or something. Please. He's trying to get us to join a pyramid scheme.
Yeah, what she *hic* said.
Yeah. He's really getting on [cough] my nerves.
w- woah! don't you think that's a bit far? he's annoying but not that annoying
You want to kill me? Again? People keep doing this. I'm trying to give you a job! But...
(He walks over to Phil and stares him directly in the eyes.)
If people constantly want me dead, tell me, how do you think I'm still alive?
I dunno, but ya' won't be livin' any longer!
[Phil then pulls out a tommy gun he somehow had in his pocket and starts shooting the living hell out of Pharaoh]
Oh- dear me, that's loud. Can't you turn that thing down?
I don't *hic* think you can turn down the volume on *hic* that thing while it's being used.
Yeah, not quite how those work.
oh- oh my fucking god
(The bullets pass through pharaoh with ease, spraying sand as they do. Then the wounds immediately heal.)
Killing me... Isn't easy. Only one person has ever succeeded, actually. And I came back the very next day.
(The gun dissolves into sand in Phil's hands.)
Heh... I 'ave a better gun fo' this situation.
[Phil calls in his goons, who bring in the machine bazooka]
And fo' the blue gal, don't worry. This one 'as a silencer. Now then...
[Phil starts using the machine bazooka]
'ey there, youse three. 'ow's it goin'? Youse doin' alright?
-@phil-perconti-epprbcu
Huh? What? Who are you? Yes? I guess?
Oh, that *hic* guy is Phil Perconti, I *hic* think. He's the *hic* boss of the Exclamania mafia or *hic* something.
[cough] Mafia? Exclamania [cough] has one of those?
god where the fuck am i- oh, uh, wh- who are you four?
(Pharaoh appears in a swirling vortex of sand.)
Oh hey! I haven't seen you guys in AGES! Don't tell me, money problems? Heh, do I have the opportunity for you. All you need to do is pay me a small joining fee, then you can recruit people and take part of their fee! We also sell healthy snacks. Sounds great, right?
'kay, what is goin' on 'ere? Where'd the plushie and the pharaoh lookin' guy come from? I was jus' talkin' to those three!
I don't- I don't know. I'm so confused. Why are you here? We- we don't-
(Milli starts coughing and wheezing, then she removes her horn and seems to suck air through it. She seems fine now.)
Sorry, we don't want to join the mafia. I didn't even know a mafia existed. Aren't there laws and lawyers now? I'm not getting arrested.
Uh, I *hic* think they're not accepting new applications now.
Wait, hold up.
*Dexter sips some wine from his wine glass hand*
Right, why the [cough] are there so many people here all of a sudden.
i- i don't know. i was j- just wandering around and ended up, here
Why are you ignoring me. Listen. I have a money making opportunity. All you need to do is pay me a joining fee, then you can recruit people and take part of their fee. Understand? We also sell healthy snacks.
First off, I ain't here to recruit anybody. Secondly, pharaoh guy, if ya' don't stop yappin', I might have to personally take ya' outta the equation, if ya' catch my drift.
Please kill him. He's so damn annoying. Like. You're a mobster, shoot him with a tommy gun or something. Please. He's trying to get us to join a pyramid scheme.
Yeah, what she *hic* said.
Yeah. He's really getting on [cough] my nerves.
w- woah! don't you think that's a bit far? he's annoying but not that annoying
You want to kill me? Again? People keep doing this. I'm trying to give you a job! But...
(He walks over to Phil and stares him directly in the eyes.)
If people constantly want me dead, tell me, how do you think I'm still alive?
I dunno, but ya' won't be livin' any longer!
[Phil then pulls out a tommy gun he somehow had in his pocket and starts shooting the living hell out of Pharaoh]
'ey there, youse three. 'ow's it goin'? Youse doin' alright?
-@phil-perconti-epprbcu
Huh? What? Who are you? Yes? I guess?
Oh, that *hic* guy is Phil Perconti, I *hic* think. He's the *hic* boss of the Exclamania mafia or *hic* something.
[cough] Mafia? Exclamania [cough] has one of those?
god where the fuck am i- oh, uh, wh- who are you four?
(Pharaoh appears in a swirling vortex of sand.)
Oh hey! I haven't seen you guys in AGES! Don't tell me, money problems? Heh, do I have the opportunity for you. All you need to do is pay me a small joining fee, then you can recruit people and take part of their fee! We also sell healthy snacks. Sounds great, right?
'kay, what is goin' on 'ere? Where'd the plushie and the pharaoh lookin' guy come from? I was jus' talkin' to those three!
I don't- I don't know. I'm so confused. Why are you here? We- we don't-
(Milli starts coughing and wheezing, then she removes her horn and seems to suck air through it. She seems fine now.)
Sorry, we don't want to join the mafia. I didn't even know a mafia existed. Aren't there laws and lawyers now? I'm not getting arrested.
Uh, I *hic* think they're not accepting new applications now.
Wait, hold up.
*Dexter sips some wine from his wine glass hand*
Right, why the [cough] are there so many people here all of a sudden.
i- i don't know. i was j- just wandering around and ended up, here
Why are you ignoring me. Listen. I have a money making opportunity. All you need to do is pay me a joining fee, then you can recruit people and take part of their fee. Understand? We also sell healthy snacks.
First off, I ain't here to recruit anybody. Secondly, pharaoh guy, if ya' don't stop yappin', I might have to personally take ya' outta the equation, if ya' catch my drift.
'ey there, youse three. 'ow's it goin'? Youse doin' alright?
-@phil-perconti-epprbcu
Huh? What? Who are you? Yes? I guess?
Oh, that *hic* guy is Phil Perconti, I *hic* think. He's the *hic* boss of the Exclamania mafia or *hic* something.
[cough] Mafia? Exclamania [cough] has one of those?
god where the fuck am i- oh, uh, wh- who are you four?
(Pharaoh appears in a swirling vortex of sand.)
Oh hey! I haven't seen you guys in AGES! Don't tell me, money problems? Heh, do I have the opportunity for you. All you need to do is pay me a small joining fee, then you can recruit people and take part of their fee! We also sell healthy snacks. Sounds great, right?
'kay, what is goin' on 'ere? Where'd the plushie and the pharaoh lookin' guy come from? I was jus' talkin' to those three!
