the one i'll always love

philtatos — most beloved, dearest one.

[phillestatos]

omg hiiiiiiiiiiii <3 haven’t seen around in a while!!!!

hi hello!!!! it's good to see you!!!!!! yeah i remembered this acc after i got back to watching dnp and i don't feel like making original posts on my main so i dust this off whenever i have a thought i can't shake LOL. i hope you've been well!!!!!!!!

[phillestatos]

can someone ask dan and phil to address the conspiracy theory that dan used to send himself comments on younow so he would have an excuse to talk about things he wanted during his livestreams cause genuinely did he do that or did we all just decide to believe in it

[pseudophan]

"rpf is fine" says the most rpf'd man on youtube

[phillestatos]

idk if u rmr me but we used to be friends (i think i used to go by lex) n i got reminded of this blog yesterday lol... i got surprised its active today but super cool we both still like dnp. have a great day!!

omg HEY HI it's been so long !!!!!! i had one thought i needed to dust off and i was like do i have the credentials for this blog. i do. i cant believe we were literally connected through time and space and universe etc IF U STILL WANNA BE MUTUALS JUST DM ME ILL GIVE U MY @ OK!!!! ITS NICE TO SEE YOU!!!!!!! HAVE A GREAT DAY TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[phillestatos]

incrowrrupted by fireworks

genre: fluff

warnings: none

summary: Phil plans a trip to Altissia to propose to Dan, because there isn’t a more romantic place than Altissia, right? Right. Thing is, he forgot the Moogle-Chocobo Carnival was a thing. It’s just his luck, isn’t it?

words: 1.8k

a/n: My contribution for the @pinofsappreciation project! HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY NIKKI @pinofs!!!!!!! sorry this isn’t a SERIOUS fic, i thought abt something that you could like and TECHNICALLY it’s not a ffxv au…technically. slightly. idk. i thought about this as soon as i found out abt the project and yet the idea it’s not quite a ffxv au. go me.

i wanted to name it something else than The Hell Song I Shall Not Mention, but i thought i could let it pass because the main quest IS named that, and also, it’s a pun bc kenny crow is the only good man in my life

i hope you enjoy this nikki!!!!!! happy birthday!!!! ily!!! :D

Maybe Phil should’ve planned this through.

When he said to his longtime boyfriend, “Hey, let’s go to Altissia,” he meant it so he could have a good place to propose, not…

Phil sighs, staring up at the giant carnival. He just wanted to propose, not to assist to a carnival. He had forgotten entirely of what was going on that day. It’s only his luck that one of the most important days of his life had to also overlap with the Choco-Mog Carnival.

“The Carnival!” Dan exclaims with a bright smile. “I forgot this was going on!”

Phil nods. Yeah, he forgot too.

Before he could reply that it wasn’t on his plans to come to the Carnival, a tall person wearing a Chocobo hat and t-shirt stops in front of them, shaking their hands animatedly.

“Welcome to the Carnival!” he says energetically. “Would you like to wear outfits appropriate for this marvelous time of the year?”

“What…kind of outfits?” Phil asks, wearily. The little box on his jacket weighs a little, but since he’s already here, might as well go with it, right?

The guy points out to their right, where there’s a big clothing shop. In the exhibitions, there are two mannequins – one of them wearing the same outfit the attendant is, and the other one wearing…

“Is that a Mariachi chocobo-moogle outfit?” Dan asks, frowning slightly at the exhibition.

“Why, yes! Would you be interested in wearing them?”

“…I gotta admit the jacket is pretty cool,” Dan hums. “Pretty snazzy.”

“Don’t say that,” Phil laughs a little, but nods at the attendant anyways. “I want the shirt, please.”

“Follow me!”

There’s a bit of meddling around, trying to get past the millions of people, until they finally make it to the store.

As he’s changing, Phil takes a deep breath. It’s fine, he can do this. It’s barely 1pm. He has plenty of time to propose to Dan.

He just needs to be in the highest place for when the firework show begins. Maybe his proposal wouldn’t get so hijacked if he could propose in the middle of the fireworks, right?

He wonders if he’s making a bigger deal out of it than he should. He figures, it’s Dan — they’ve been together for eight years now. He shouldn’t be so nervous about this. But also, it’s Dan, the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with and for some reason the thought is terrifying. There is always the chance that it’s not what they both want, and it’s scaring him to death.

He comes out of the dressing room with his new Chocobo t-shirt, just in time to see Dan fiddling with the sombrero on his hands.

“You should put it on,” Phil grins mischievously. “It’d look great.”

Dan rolls his eyes. “I’m pretty sure it’d just be straight up offensive. I’m good with the jacket, thank you.” He stares at Phil with a smile taking over his face. “You look like a true Chocobo lover.”

Phil spins around a little, staring down at his t-shirt. “I am a Chocobo lover. I feel like I’m in my right nature, you know?” He looks at Dan up and down. “Your outfit is pretty cool, too.”

“Snazz—”

“No. Come on, let’s keep going around.”

—

For lack of better words, Altissia is breathtaking. Phil hasn’t been here often — not like he can, anyway, he’s busy and Altissia is miles away from Insomnia, but every time he comes around the city keeps blowing him away. Dan’s eyes are almost sparkling with excitement as he looks up all around him.

Phil’s not sure what endears him the most — the city, or Dan. He wants to do it; just get down on one knee and open the box, but just as he thinks that, a man walks between them and grabs Phil by his shoulders.

“My baby chicks!” he yells. Phil frowns, staring frantically between Dan and the guy. “They’re lost!”

“Your what?” Dan asks, grabbing the man’s arms and pulling him off Phil. “Chicks?”

“My chocobos,” the man laments, putting his head on his hands. “I’ve lost my baby chocobos, all fifteen of them—”

“Fifteen?” Phil’s frown deepens. “Why would you bring fifteen baby chocobos?”

“It’s a Chocobo-moogle carnival, boy. I wanna show ‘em off. Please,” he sniffs, “please help me find them.”

Dan and Phil look at each other, and Phil already knows the answer: they can’t say no. Immediately, they’re on their way to find the missing fifteen chocobos.

—

“I think we’re lost,” Dan hums after going up and down the same stairs thirty-times.

“Yeah, no kidding,” Phil says, staring up at the sky. The sun is going down, and they only have found two chocobos — both are on Phil’s arms as he jogs up and down the stairs — and have already gotten lost in the big city. “I think we should go all the way up?”

“You think so?” Dan looks at both of the chocobos in Phil’s arms. “You really think baby chocobos will climb that high?”

Phil shrugs as best as he can when he’s carrying two heavy baby birds. “It’s worth the try.”

“You want me to pick one up?”

“Kweh!” the baby Chocobo says, and Dan laughs as he picks it up. “Kweh-kweh-kweh!”

“I think it likes you,” Phil grins a bit. Dan nuzzles the Chocobo and Phil melts on spot.

He really, really wants to propose right now.

“Hey, Dan?”

Dan looks up.

Phil swallows a bit. “I wanted to ask you —” his eyes focus on what’s behind Dan, upstairs. “Hey, another Chocobo!”

They both rush upstairs, and once they get there, they pick up the new Chocobo, already a bit out of breath.

“What did you want to ask?”

“Um…” Phil backtracks. Why did his nerves get the best of him? “How are we gonna carry fifteen chocobos?”

“…You know, I didn’t stop to think about it.” Dan’s lips form a perfectly straight line. “I think we fucked up.”

—

Seven chocobos later and several bad situations where Phil thought about proposing, it’s 6pm, which means there’s about two hours until the firework show begins. And Dan just keeps getting distracted. Phil loves him and all, but he’d love him more if he stopped ruining his plans every five seconds.

He’s been here for twenty minutes as Dan discusses aesthetics with the lady who runs the decorations.

The lady looks like she’s about to hit his boyfriend. “The instructions say ‘for every kweh, there is a kupo’,” she says, barely holding back her rage.

Dan, of course, isn’t chill. “Yeah, but it’s ugly that way. There’s no aesthetic. Two chocobos and two moogles next to each other on a row isn’t a good choice.”

Phil rolls his eyes fondly. Dan’s passionate about a lot of things, even silly things as how chocobos and moogles should be arranged. His heart squeezes, and Phil wonders how awkward it would be for the lady if he just got down in one knee and proposed.

“Dan, just place the things as the instructions say,” Phil pleads, snapping out of his proposal ideas, remembering the chocobos he’s trying to not let go. “We’re wasting our time. We got eight chocobos to go.”

“But…”

“Dan.”

Dan frowns at the lady for a few moments, but ultimately lets it go. “I hope you know I hate you,” he mutters, but still picks up the chocobos and walks close to Phil.

Phil wonders if it’s possible to love someone more.

—

Fifteen baby chocobos delivered in a basket later, Phil finally gets Dan to the boat to get a perfect view of the fireworks. He tries his best to not get motion sick, but again: much like his plan this entire day, he didn’t think this through.

Dan is sitting across him, in awe at the entire scenario developing in front of him. People are getting ready to see the fireworks, and Dan grows more excited every second that passes. Phil is in love, but also, he’s really sick.

A boat wasn’t a good idea, definitely.

Still, he takes a deep breath, and grabs Dan’s hand.

“So, I want to tell you something. Or, more like, I want to ask you something.”

Dan raises his eyebrows. “What is it? Is everything okay? You’re looking slightly green…”

Crap.

“We’ve been together for eight years now, and I love you, and— there is a giant black thing coming at full speed in that boat.”

“What?”

“LOOK OUT!” Phil throws himself on top of Dan, effectively knocking each other off the boat.

The cold water receives Phil with open arms, and he almost yells, until he remembers he’s underwater and that’s not a clever idea. Both he and Dan resurface, taking a deep breath.

“What the fuck happened?” Dan asks, voice shaking.

Phil turns around to look at their boat. The black figure suddenly makes sense for Phil — and it’s both a betrayal and a shocking revelation.

“Kenny Crow is in our boat,” he deadpans, pointing at Kenny, who’s stretching his legs and downing on a bottle of water without stopping to breathe. “He… he kicked us out of our own boat.”

Dan stares at Kenny Crow for a good solid minute. “Kenny fucking Crow stole our boat.” He stops, swallows, and says in the most broken voice in the world: “Do you know how much money I’ve spent at the Crow’s Nest? I… I can’t ever go back!”

“Is he breathing?” Phil asks, concerned, because seriously — he hasn’t stopped to breathe. He’s still drinking the water.

“I’m not sure.” Dan frowns. “Kenny Crow ruined your marriage proposal.”

“Yeah he—wait, what? How did you know?”

“Well, what other kind of questions begins by stating how long we’ve been together?”

Phil pouts. “You don’t know. Maybe I was about to ask you to let me steal one of the baby chocobos.”

Dan snorts. “You’re right, I should’ve known.” He looks at Phil. “My answer is yes, by the way.”

“To the Chocobo or the marriage proposal?”

“The marriage proposal, you idiot.”

Phil’s heart starts racing, but surprisingly, he feels calm. “That’s great. I’m glad you said yes.”

“Yeah, but I expect an actual proposal back in Insomnia, alright?”

“You got it.” Phil stares down. “Hey, maybe we should get out of the water?”

“That’s a good idea!”

Phil gets to the dock and helps Dan up. It’s just in time as the fireworks start. They both sit down at the edge of it, Dan’s head resting on Phil’s shoulder as they see the first firework go off. It feels like a zoo inside Phil’s belly because he’s technically engaged, but also, there’s peace and warmth when he realizes this is what he’ll have for the rest of his life: a companion who’ll stick with him even when Kenny Crow steals their boat.

Just as he’s about to lean down and kiss Dan’s forehead, Kenny Crow speeds by in the boat, showering them in water again.

“MOTHERFUCKER—”

They’re never going back to Crow’s Nest.

[phillestatos]

okokok

so. this blog’s been dead for a while

annnnnnnnd thankfully i don’t write longfics so it’s easier for me to say that i don’t have intentions to post anything anytime soon. 

just. yknow. it’s kinda hard to come up with something to write when EVERYTHING’S been written and truth be told a lot better. plus i figure everyone eventually gets tired of me always writing pretty much the same thing. it’s always mindless fluff and i can’t come up with anything angsty or smutty so that’s a lost case.

feels like. everyone deserves better fics that better writers are providing. yknow. besides dnp are so grossly in love with each other what else could i ever write they’re a walking fanfiction and i love them god they’re so in love

i’m not saying OH I’LL NEVER EVER WRITE ABT THEM AGAIN because it will probably won’t be the case. i’ll probably fill prompts i see or i’ll do exceptions for friends but so far it’s been a whole month where i just didn’t feel like writing about my fav people. 

i think i’m better at watching them and commenting about their love than i am writing about it.

writing for this fandom has been an experience and one that i’m grateful for. there are times in fics i’ve published where people would just like things. like, 68 likes and 2 reblogs, and the reblogs wouldn’t say anything. and i would be like....well........did they like it? did they hate it? is there anything i could get better on?

and other times where fics i would be proud of that received that reaction and i would be like. WELP. I NEED TO IMPROVE BUT I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO IMPROVE RIP. 

and then fics that would be absolutely well received and i’d be like OMG...THEY LIKED IT...FINALLY....I SHOULD KEEP IT THAT WAY 

it’s never stable and honestly, this fandom was my first time trying to write in english because it is my second language so every single upload was soooo intense.

but i still loved it even when i was met with little to not criticism/comments, whatever you wanna call it. the anxiety-inducing things that brought me writing here made me get better at writing and you know i kinda feel confident with what i write now. so that’s cool.

so thank you for the anxious days, and THANK YOU if you’ve ever let a tag, or a message, or a comment under a reblog because they’ve made my days countless of times. i’ve probably cried reading tags or messages and i wish i could repay you for making me feel better about everything i’ve written with your comments.

if i write anything i think is worth your time and your comments i won’t hesitate to publish it here.

idk how to end this

so long & goodnight

[formsprings-deactivated20170426]

x

[phillestatos]

:0 can I write the outerminds au

YESSSSSS. YES FEEL FREE YOU'LL DO SUCH A GREAT JOB TAKE MY AU WITH U AND TAG ME IF U WRITE IT

[phillestatos]

The video game shit is really good!! 10/10 would definitely read it!! Why won't it see the light of the day??

I LITERALLY FORGOT I HAD IT. I LOST ANY INSPIRATION I HAD FOR IT LMAO rip @ me at 3 AM's idea i just don't know how to plot it :')obviously 3 am me had a better plan than current day me but thank you for thinking it was good!!!

[phillestatos]

you know how sometimes when people get drunk they call their exes or something? I get sleepless nights and at 3 AM, when I'm trying desperately to sleep I plan out things apparently. Just dug up this from my millions of documents. That's one work that will never see the light. I don't even remember writing this I wish I did

[phillestatos]

I get you I'm Brazilian and I'm in my finals too so I want to die 99,9% of my time and my vacations are only in January *screams into my pillow* Hope your finals go well angel and that your vacation go even better

OHNMY GOD THAT'S TRAGIC. Good luck to you too my friend! Hope you ace your finals and we both get a glorious January :")

[phillestatos]

quick upd8

i’m on my finals it’s a pain in the ass but i got 15 days to go and then it’s summer vacation

“why do you have summer vacation it’s november” i hear you asking confused

i’m latina we have different hemispheres it’s summer for me and i’m on my finals sorry if this blog is too Ded

[phillestatos]

so I read one phanfic and it's been three hours and so somehow I spent all of them reading your phanfiction? also you wrote so many phanfics I love and didn't realise it was the same writer??? your great and your writing really brighten my day <3

AHHH thank you! You’re so kind!

it makes me so happy that you like them!! thank you so much my friend!!!! ♡＼(￣▽￣)／♡

[michibita]

Chilling Sunday, everyone☆彡.

[phillestatos]

7 years

words: no idea this is all written in mobile

genre: fluff

warnings: none

Summary: Phil reflects on the first time they met vs how they are now. Sweet conversations on bed. Happy 7 years to them.

A/N: HAPPY 7 YEARS CAN YOU BELIEVE THEY’VE BEEN IN LOVE FOR SEVEN YEARS WOAH FUCKING UNBELIEVABLE AMAZING WOW

It’s a soft morning.

It’s warm, the moment he wakes up he sees Dan cuddled against his chest, meaning he woke up before him because they did not fell asleep like this. He stirs, and his theory is proven when Dan chuckles softly.

Dan rises his head, bringing his lips to his jaw, leaving tiny kisses on it. “Good morning.”

Phil smiles, pulling Dan impossibly closer. “Happy anniversary.”

“Oh, so you remember.” Dan says jokingly, and Phil rolls his eyes. “Happy anniversary. Seven years now. How does that make you feel?”

“Old,” replies Phil, stretching. Surprisingly, he’s not grumpy at this hour in the morning. It must be because his body knows it’s a special occasion. “Nostalgic.”

“Me too,” Dan sits up, which makes Phil whine – he still wants to cuddle. Dan’s back rests against the bedframe, but he starts running his hands through Phil’s hair. “I remember being wide-awake right now, panicking on the inside and just thinking how today was the day I was gonna meet actual AmazingPhil.”

“I couldn’t sleep. I was too excited to sleep,” Phil remembers fondly. “We had been talking for so long, and we complemented each other so well, sometimes I was scared you weren’t real.”

“But I was,” his fingers stop going through his hair. His index finger pokes his cheek. “And you were real too. And we’re both here, seven years later. It’s amazing.” Dan stops, his hand resting against his cheek. “Breakfast is done, by the way. Do you want to spend the day here?”

“Absolutely,” says Phil, and then Dan is off the bed, heading to the kitchen.

As Phil goes to wash his face and brush his teeth, he keeps thinking about how different things were in 2009. He remembers this exact moment but seven years ago, his hands trembling at the fact he was going to meet Dan in a few hours and how scared he was, because he knew back then that once he hugged Dan, he would never want to let go. He couldn’t handle being apart from him again.

It’s 2016, and he can’t remember when was the last time they were away from each other for that long.

He returns to the bedroom just when Dan is putting the trays on the bed. Dan turns around, smiling, and Phil makes his way to him, wrapping his arms around Dan and dropping his head on his shoulder.

“Do you remember the first time we hugged?” Dan asks Phil, voice barely above a whisper.

“I didn’t want to let go,” Phil answers, equally as quiet. “It was the best hug of my life.”

“Me too. You know that line in Starlight, the one that’s like – ‘I’ll never let you go if you promise not to fade away’ and ‘I just wanted to hold you in my arms’”?

“Of course.”

“Well,” he laughs a little, “me, strongly being in my Muse phase – that was all I could think about.”

“I kinda wasn’t thinking about anything. Just you and how nice you smelled.” Dan tightens his grip on him, burying his face on Phil’s neck. “I love you.”

“I love you, too. Let’s eat?”

“I see the priorities here,” Dan laughs, but drags him to the bed nonetheless.

-

“Do you remember the first time I kissed you?” Dan asks when they’re sitting on the bed, watching TV.

Phil stops looking at the TV. He looks over to Dan, who looks sheepish asking this.

He remembers it – God, how could he forget? The desperate need in Phil’s veins to lean over and kiss him on top of the ferris wheel, the uncertainty filling him, and how he hoped Dan liked him too.

But then Dan – Dan with his shaking hands, his voice trembling and lips chapped leaned in and kissed him. His left hand cupped his cheek, the right hand was a fist on his shirt. His eyes were closed, but he pulled away too soon.

Phil’s heart did a thing – he didn’t know how to describe it other than as a flip. It was beating so fast, Phil thought he was dying.

Dan had said, “I – I just had to do it. I’m sorry.”

Phil shook his head. “Don’t be sorry,” he said, leaning over again and kissing him – and God, Phil never wanted that to stop. Dan’s hands, his lips, his warmth – Dan. He didn’t want him to go again.

But now, Phil looks up to Dan, who’s sitting next to him, seven years later after that.

“I remember,” Phil says. “It’s impossible to forget.”

“Were you going to kiss me if I didn’t do it first?”

“No. I wouldn’t have.”

“Why?”

“I didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable,” Phil confesses, ignoring the TV now. “I really liked you, Dan. As a friend and in a romantic way. I wasn’t sure if you liked me too, so you know. You were younger than me. You had gotten out of a relationship. I didn’t want to put pressure on you.”

Dan nods. He puts an arm around Phil, “Such a gentleman.”

“Of course.”

“I’m glad I kissed you. There are things I regret in my life, but kissing you was never one of them.”

“I don’t regret not kissing you,” Phil says. “I’m glad you did it.”

“You can initiate the kisses now, you know that?”

Phil smiles widely. Carefully, he leans in and captures Dan’s lips on his – slowly. It’s such a familiar act by now, them moving in sync, kissing each other as if the world around them disappeared. They have different kisses, but these are the ones Phil’s loves the most – the ones where there is no rush. The ones where he feels everything – he feels Dan’s body, and he tastes his lips, and he hears Dan letting out tiny-moans, and it’s just them. No one is watching.

When they break away, Dan’s forehead rests against Phil’s, his eyes are still closed.

“I need a sec,” Dan says with a tiny smile. “That was – woah.”

“I love you,” Phil tells him, closing the distance with a tiny peck.

“I love you, too.”

-

“Do you remember when I told you I loved you?” Phil asks Dan.

Dan nods, the grin appearing in his face being almost involuntary.

“It was after that week I spent at your house,” Dan remembers. “I was back in Reading. And we were talking on the phone because I couldn’t go to Skype. And you just said it.”

“I was overwhelmed,” Phil explains. “I missed you. You had been with me for a week and now you were gone again and I kind of realized you were the only person I wanted to spend all my time with.” He laughs, remembering just how much his chest hurt when he realized that the person he loved was on the other side of the country. He laughs now, because Dan is by his side and he’s not going to leave. “But you said it back.”

“Of course. I think I’ve been in love longer with you than you with me – hearing you say it made me crap my pants.”

“I think I’ve always loved you,” Phil confesses, quietly. “Just didn’t realize it until that moment.”

Dan reaches out and squeezes his hand. “I love you. Always have. Always will.”

“I love you, too. I never got tired of saying it. I never will.” -

“Do you remember how much we talked over Skype?” Dan asks.

“What was our longest… five hours and a half?” Dan nods. “That was such a wild night. It made me so happy, though.”

“Skype, man. Some days, it was the only thing that got me through rough times.” Dan smiles, a bit melancholic. “And now when we Skype it’s because you’re visiting your parents and we can’t be separated for one hour.”

“I think,” Phil grabs his hand and gives it a squeeze, “the reason we do that is because we know what it’s like to be separated. We just don’t wanna experience it again.”

“Which is why I now tag along in every trip,” Dan proudly proclaims, giving Phil a kiss on his cheek. “Good luck trying to escape me from your family vacations now, love.”

Phil laughed. He couldn’t wait for the next family vacation.

-

“Do you remember when I asked you to be my boyfriend?”

Dan raises his eyebrows. “You kinda didn’t. We just started dating.”

That’s right. “So, if I wanted to marry you, would I have to ask you or are we just gonna start wearing rings?”

“I’d like to be asked, thank you very much,” Dan grins. “Candlelit dinner. Fairy lights all around us. Tifa’s theme or Interrupted by Fireworks, I dunno, surprise me – and a nice ring.”

“You don’t want anything, do you?” Phil laughs.

“What? I wanna tell this story to everyone. So it has to be super romantic and cheesy.”

Phil rolls his eyes fondly. “So if I were to ask you right now, would you say no?”

“Nope. I wouldn’t. But you don’t have a ring.”

“True that. Anyway, would you marry me? I feel like with this one I do have to ask.”

Dan laughs, loud and clear. “I’d love to marry you, Phil.”

Phil raises his arms. “Yes! If only there was a ring!”

“It’s okay. It’s not changing the fact we’re lowkey engaged now.”

“Lowkey engaged. Love that.”

Dan leans in, kissing him, long and sweet. “I love you.”

“I love you too, lowkey fiancé. Happy seven years.

[radiolesbian]

[phillestatos]

Me: so, should I make Dan narrate or Phil?

My dog: *barks*

Me: thank you for your contribution, always can count on you

My dog: *wiggles tail*