Philomena Philomenay

I'm the real one, and I love bread

[philomena-cunk-is-a-bread-lover]

Guys, I have just returned from my Bread-cation and found a tasty new Treat for my collection. This is a Pretzel originally discovered in Germany, thees Knot shaped looking funks do not grow on trees but rather spring from the depths below our feet. If you don't let them grow enough, they'll end up all hard and small, sometimes even covered in chocolate. So if you plan on letting Pretzels grow in your garden, GIVE THEM TIME, or they won't be considered bread but rather a smaller inferior treat that isn't nearly a scrumptious as the big grown up version -Philomena Cunk, The bread lover

[philomena-cunk-is-a-bread-lover]

Despite looking like bread, Subway sandwitches tecnically count as cake because they have a lot of sugar in them. Thanks to global super powers like Donald duck and that one guy from the Office these so called Impostor bread have remained on the market almost as long as the hit single Pump up the Jam by the band Technotronic.

-Philomena Cunk

[philomena-cunk-is-a-bread-lover]

Despite looking like jizz, Bread sauce is a jummy and delicous condiment made from the best food on the planet (Bread)

-Philomena Cunk

[loftyangel]

panpapa_n8

[philomena-cunk-is-a-bread-hater]

Thanks to a man named Thermo Dynamics, humans get to enjoy such treats as these. For a real bread hater like me, this actually constitutest as a threat

-Philomena Cunk

[philomena-cunk-is-a-bread-lover]

Because of women existing, impostors like @philomena-cunk-is-a-bread-hater can state their obviously wrong opinions like this.

-Philomena Cunk

[philomena-cunk-is-a-bread-lover]

BREAD

"I fucking love bread"

-Philomena Cunk