punthali

[phoen1xx]

My love, your biggest achievement in life is not going to be loved by another person, I'm afraid

[phoen1xx]

my friends shouldn't have to go through anything bad ever they deserve no sense of suffering at all

[phoen1xx]

I hope my suffering is beautiful to somebody because I cannot make sense of it

[phoen1xx]

I think we're so afraid of being perceived as human instead of this unattainable concept of a person that we've forgotten how to be human around other humans. Because why are you so afraid of showing that you have an affinity towards someone when they obviously possess that for you as well? Even if they didn't, what are you afraid of? Being rejected? Being perceived in a manner that is not controlled by you?

I think a big factor of being human as well is being misunderstood. Somebody is interpreting you to a point where they have an opinion about you. You're not supposed to like everybody's rendition of you, but you'll never know that until you put it out there. You won't find your people unless you let yourself be vulnerable enough to be misunderstood

[phoen1xx]

The inconsolable thought that you might be meant for the life you're living right now. Thought that you might just not be good enough or lovable enough or pretty enough. None of it is true. Your brain feeds you lies and you mustn't trust it. It is imperative for you to understand that you are lovable and worth everything you wish to be right now. It's okay to not have good friends or good people around you, it isn't a reflection of you. The only way to find good people around you, is to become a good person. Become the person who smiles at strangers and does the nice thing just because. Become the person who feeds the stray dog and gets their friends flowers just because. You will never truly be happy if you strive to be understood by everyone. You are unique and you will find your set of people

"If I am worth anything later, I am worth something now".

[phoen1xx]

I think it's always harder to let go of your childhood friends more than anyone else. Especially when they unexpectedly leave. I think you'll always miss that sense of comfort and family. I think I'll die trying to replace that.

[phoen1xx]

life did not end when you flunked on a paper life did not end when you lost your friend life did not end when a boy didn't like you back life did not end either just because you wanted it too

You are fine. It is just water. It'll pass.

[phoen1xx]

Do you think bad people exist?

I think the whole"Morals are absolute." Is bullshit. I don't think absolutism holds up in the 21st century. I was once a firm believer in it but then I started to make unpredictable choices and choices that were inherently bad. I feel like everybody now is truly just trying to feel something. Something new and interesting that breaks their monotonous cycle. Every human is contradictory, and righteous people, I think, are full of shit. I think we've all started to see in shades of gray solely because we've evolved. I truly have no clue if bad people exist or if circumstances made them that way. I think they're too oblivious to who they've become, or because it's comfortable. I think we're all just looking for a little relief and some of us have more selfish ways than others.

[phoen1xx]

you are not unlovable just because your mother is unkind to you

[phoen1xx]

I've realized I only get fomo when it comes to my boyfriend. You're going to a job interview with your friend? I should be there. Catching up with your absolute best friend you haven’t seen in ages, partly because of me? I should be there. Running to the store because your mom told you to get milk? I should be there. Doctor’s appointment? Yep. I should be there too. God forbid a girl wants to exist next to her boyfriend jesus

[phoen1xx]

Sometimes I have so much love in me it feels like my chest could rip open. So much it curdles into rage because there’s nowhere for it to go. I like to think there’s enough love in me to fill the sky, enough to drown the moon and drag it back. I’ve always felt like God’s forgotten child. And somehow, I end up closest to others like me, the ones you’d expect to be cruel, bitter, hardened. But they’re not. They’re the ones who love vulnerably, the ones who would bleed just to make someone else laugh. Humans are a mess. A contradiction that shouldn’t work but somehow does. We are every awful and beautiful thing tangled up in skin and bone. Hate is fed. Love just is. It's the reason any of us are standing

[phoen1xx]

Good night, if you're reading this you are loved

[phoen1xx]

No, I’m not in love with you, but you’re the last thing on my mind before I fall asleep.

No, I’m not in love with you, but if you needed something I had, it’d be yours without question.

No, I’m not in love with you, but I think about spending every day and night with you like it's the only thing I know.

No, I’m not in love with you, but I still hope things work out for you, even when it has nothing to do with me.

No, I’m not in love with you, but I wake up every morning hoping today is good to you.

I don’t know if that counts as love. I don’t think it does. But maybe it would if you felt the same.

[phoen1xx]

Remind the people you love just how much they mean to you. Say it, show it, and never assume they already know. You are the love you seek.

[phoen1xx]

i love my friends because they're my friends and i love them

[phoen1xx]

I'm not religious, but I pray for you every night before I sleep, not in the way they teach at churches, but in the way that a mother prays to god all the time to keep her child safe. I'm not a people person, but I picture you introducing me to your friends, like maybe if they liked me, you'd have one more reason to keep me around. I don't really care for staying up late, but if you needed me to, I'd stay up every night for you. Movies never meant much to me, but I'd sit through every runtime, every boring plot twist, every pretentious monologue if it meant it brought me a little closer to you. I'm not a lot of things, but I'd become anything if you asked me to.

[phoen1xx]

"You don’t hate people. That’s your pain talking. You love people. You hate the fact that the genuine strength of your love has been manipulated, mishandled, or misunderstood in the past which makes you fearful to love and trust to that extent now."

- The Tears That Taught Me