I’m young, bold, and believe in happy endings

My phoenix is the root of all the magic, I write about. She is the reason, my heart burns so intensely with passion. I dare to write down, what my mind is yelling in sounds so quite, that they deafen me! I dare to write about the beauty, that inhabits life, but as well about the other side, of that very same coin!

[phoenix-soul-official]

Human nature?

I’m sitting here on the sofa; the shutters barley opened. And I see it; the darkness of the night, as it consumes all of the surrounding, slowly spreading, like a carcinoma untreated, it’s metastasis bursting.

I also spy the small figurine of brightness, from the streetlights on the other side of the road; though it is not that bright, compared to what I have in mind. It is barely the greyish color your of a shirt, washed for years. Melanchonic and sad.

Like a ocean of tears, hitting the asphalted reality of the road, it’s shine reflected in millions of little sparks in dark. Like a lightbulb in the very moment it blows; light still shedding.

It makes me sad. Sad how much all of this; all of this soaking-wet darkness reminds me of mankind itself.

Yet I refuse to accept this. And so I’m on my feet; standing in the darkness, the wind whipping me with cold, wet hits; that almost feel like my face is freezing of in the night; but yet I do not go.

I stand here; my clothes slowly getting soaked, almost like my coat is dying of thirst and tries to satisfy it’s need for the rain, it’s whipping slwoly turned into dozens of kisses all over my face; and I embrace it.

Because if I go; if I leave; who is going to try and gleam in the darkness of the abyss of the night, and give others the bright light to see; when the skies are torn?

[quotemadness]

“I’m a mess of unfinished thoughts.”

— John Mayer

[langleavpoetry]

[phoenix-soul-official]

A poet’s death;

And I fear for myself;

I fear for myself,

that the fire of passion I feel towards the feather,

that all the inspiration you give me fails me.

For I am not able to capture this moment.

It is a weird feeling;

especially for me,

to be

at least for once,

out of words.

It is this magic you are spreading right now,

that is so far beyond the skills of words to be written down.

It is this magic you are spreading right now,

that is so far beyond the expression,

of any kiss that I could give you right now.

It is the smile on your face;

so passionate and true,

when you look her in the eyes.

Seeing you happy and yet so determined all at once;

to give her all the love you can possibly give and also to jump up;

and protect her with all of your soul in a minutes notice;

as if it is April 1775 all over again.

And yes;

I fail to capture it,

I fail to capture this joy and relaxation I feel,

seeing you happy and smile.

[teacup13-deactivated20200319]

“you’re everything I want to believe in”

— I only hope to be as beautiful as the thoughts in your head. I love when you ask me to stay, even when you know I’m not leaving. sometimes i get this feeling that the stars are always lonely except when you & i are staring at the sky at the same time, but being two halves of the same heart never stopped your words from disappearing after it rained. if time is a storyteller, I hope it finds us on the same page. we all have impossible dreams - mine is you. May I fall apart in your arms, in your eyes, with you. May I be as I am for a while and forever. I will love you forever, and if there’s no forever, I’ll love you until the end.

[atticuspoems]

[teacup13-deactivated20200319]

“for your eyes only”

— you calm my mind the same way a shooting star passes by and decides all my thoughts aren’t important, you hug my heart the way a good book does, you are what helps me conquer the world each time I wake up. I’ll have second thoughts about you, and third thoughts too. In fact, I’ll never stop thinking about you. your presence does so much for me, I don’t need anything else. each night as I go to sleep, I count the ways I want to touch you - but, I still treasure every dream that gives me you. i left some handwritten notes in the night sky for every breath you spend away from me. you’re the most beautiful reason to exist I have ever seen - darling, simply put: I am better with you.

[sunsetquotes]

“You are worth finding. Worth knowing. Worth loving. You and your one million layers.”

— Unknown

[phoenix-soul-official]

Hey there! This post is a bit out of the ordinary. I just wanted to thank you guys for supporting me! We hit ten followers today and truth be told; I know, that each and every one of you is more than a follower or a like. You are another soul, sharing my passion for the power of poetry. I sincerely appreciate all of you. And yes. That means you. You, the person reading my words; hopefully smiling, because you realize, that I’m actually talking to YOU. Well...thank you!

[langleavpoetry]

[teacup13-deactivated20200319]

Whistling melodies Bright and light floating to you Can you hear it now?

we could talk about the weather or this gaping hole in my chest, or we could just sit here and say nothing at all.

[phoenix-soul-official]

Chestnut brown;

I wonder what it is,

that puts me under you spell.

There you are.

Barely five feet apart from me.

And I can’t just figure out,

what it is.

Is it the way,

I get lost into your eyes?

In the deep chestnut brown nostalgia,

that reminds me of a quiet and warm day of fall?

The wish to take your hand,

and walk through a forest,

with leaves in all colors,

showing us the way?

The way away from stereotypes, suffering and the framework of a corrupted society?

The way we would see the nature,

and just for a bare second forget,

what time we live in?

Or maybe it is in the way you smile?

Just as rare,

as a spotting a shootingstar is;

but so much more beautiful,

and wheter you like to hear it or not,

so much less shallow and dead inside.

The way,

you lift your ears,

whenever you smile;

in a way that makes me giggle.

It might also be,

because of the dimples,

that adorn your face.

Or it might be,

because your smile brings such a warm feeling,

in a room build of nothing but ice.

And not to forget mentioning your soul.

True.

Pure.

Caring and so much stronger,

than you dare to accept the thought.

Yes.

It is a battle-hardened soul,

that gives your body life.

It is the soul of a phoenix.

It is a soul,

that will not die;

but rise from the ashes,

that the blazing inferno of life causes;

rise over and over again.

[phoenix-soul-official]

Rain;

There wouldn’t be a fire,

blazing hot enought,

to compare to the devotion,

that I have.

Like a thousand suns exploding,

in a way,

that would scorch planets,

and wipe every single piece of life from them,

my heart burned.

And every heartbeat was like the eruption of a volcano.

Why would I drop my weapons?

Why would I do,

like the whispering voices crawling in your skull,

trying to gain control,

ask me to?

Why would I be blind;

and not see your beauty?

And I’m not talking about your physical attractiveness,

though it would probably have been reason enough.

I’m talking about your soul;

cut and pouring blood.

Hurt and pained.

Crying and frightened.

And still;

there is so much more to it.

There is so much beauty,

in the way you smile,

mentioning Luna.

There is so much beauty,

in the way you are so passionate about poetry and literature.

There is so much beauty,

in the way your smile lights up the room;

like a very single candle in the middle of a graveyard at night.

The wind whipping the trees,

sticks breaking,

leaves raining down.

But you don’t.

You just keep shining.

Like the moon itself.

So tell me;

so tell me honestly;

would you not care about this beauty?

Would you not refuse to bend to the enemies of such a pure soul?

Would you not fight,

to see this smile;

like a vanguard of light in the darkness again?

Because if you say you wouldn’t;

I would just question your eyesight.

Because I know,

that it is not your heart,

that wouldn’t be able to see this beauty.

[phoenix-soul-official]

The single sunshine’s beam;

Yes it is true,

our skies seem to be tainted over and over again,

by the shadowing demons that live inside of us.

Trying to poison our mind with lies and manipulations,

in hope to get it their ways.

But as for myself:

I refuse to accept this.

I am not willing to let them tear up my life;

I am not willing to give up,

what I keep dear and carry in my heart;

I refuse to let those demons take you.

So I’m sitting here,

holding the crucifix you gave me in my hand;

my hand almost glued to it,

holding it as my weapon in this war.

As my anchor to keep me steady,

as my light;

to let me see hope again,

and to give my eyes the ability to see again,

after years of deepest darkness.

Then their is this picture of you in my head;

and this clouds,

this darkness,

these lies and and poisonous words;

they don’t vanish.

And to pretend it would vanish,

would be nothing but a dream.

But there is this beam of sunlight,

tearing a crack through the cover of night.

And it is,

just like a lighthouse.

It is showing me,

that there is more than these deamons.

It is showing me,

that my life won’t have to be build on lies.

Poisonous lies whispered in my ear by the demons inside.

And I will walk towards the light,

I will follow it’s path through the darkness of desperation and the foggy mist of lies.

I will keep walking today, tomorrow and the day after that.

Until I’m out off the shadows,

until the won’t have anymore impact,

until I’m stading in the light,

that the darkness fears.

So the darkness should fear you,

for you give me the will to fight it.

[langleavpoetry]

“If we live our lives a thousand times over a thousand miles apart I know I’d still fall for you a thousand times over.”

— O. Leary (via olearypoetry)

[observando]

[phoenix-soul-official]

Throwing wood into the fire;

‚I refuse‘, I think to myself.

‚I refuse to give her up‘, already forecasting, that this would be, what she would be asking me for tomorrow.

Her face couldn’t be in more pain. Her whole gesture indicated, that her body must have been on fire. Feeling the pain, as her skin slowly melted. Like candle wax, dripping down the sides.

But this doesn’t mean anything. She would go ahead and tell me, that she would break me. Not noticing, that my whole life was build on cracks. Cracks she glued together in a careful way; yet she was convinced, that she would’ve been doing the very opposite. She wasn’t. She isn’t.

And what should I think? What other, than to fight. Fight to have her back? Fight to shield her? Fight to lend her a hand? Fight to pick her up?

I suppose, I pretty well forecasted it. And no; she wouldn’t have me giving up. I knew, that she did this, because of the demons in her head. I knew, that this was not, what she wanted.

What I know was, that she was scared. No, not just scared: frightened to a point, that even shocked me. She was weak, but not because she wouldn’t have the strength. She sure as hell had the strength. But because she was exhausting of fighting.

And I also knew; that I'd keep fighting and that I would do anything, to let her no longer be imprisoned in her mind. I wouldn’t let her demons win. I would fight to my very last breath, for her breath was pained that day. And I would do so with my fullest devotion. Because I couldn’t leave her behind; for I cared too much for her. For the rain wouldn’t make any difference and I would stick to my word to the end of the borderline. For my feelings were too intense, and above all; my feelings were true and pure.