*Note: Don’t know why I buried this in the tags of a post from 2021, but I’m unearthing it now: if you’re planning on sending any queens hate, death threats, abuse, etc., consider instead: grow up, wash your face, file your taxes, don’t be a dick. We’re all doing this to have fun, so let’s all stay in our lanes here on this hell site (and Not send fics to queens because on god I’ll publish only via snail mail if I see anyone telling anyone outside of tumblr about these aus) and have a good time!*
☕️ phrynewrites ko-fi☕️
✏️Phrynewrites AO3✏️
The Current AUs:
💐Girlfriends Without Benefits (fake dating au) 💍
Jasco, minor Camgeria.
“Well…” Jasmine tries to think of an excuse, a good reason to not rope Bosco into her production drama, but she’s drawing a blank. “What’s the harm in trying it?” Jasmine gives Bosco a once over. “I’m sure you’re not the worst fake girlfriend in existence.”
Bosco plays Jasmine's fake girlfriend, hoping to ward off the unwanted affections of Jasmine's coworker. However, once there's benefits…
Also on AO3
🏐Teachers AU🇫🇷
Jasco, minor Camgeria, minor Kornbread x Willow
“I’m Jasmine and I’m taking over seventh grade English,” she began. “And you are…”
“Bosco,” The other replied shortly, paying Jasmine a slanted glance.
Jasmine nodded slightly, her attention traveling from the curls piled on top of their head back down to their lips. “Um…do you have a last name people use?”
“Sure,” Bosco shrugged.
Jasmine thought it was probably the end of the conversation, but she decided to press further. “Cool, okay.” She continued, even though Kornbread let out a breathy chuckle, nearly caught in their throat. “I think you’re just down the hall from me right? What do you teach?”
From their look, the flannel wrapped around their waist, the loose light-wash jeans, Jasmine assumed art or music. Maybe a science? Science teachers always had a distinctive look to them.
“French. Used to teach Latin and Italian too before the program got axed.”
“That’s really cool!” Jasmine lit up. “We used to have a French rotation at my last school—I used to teach elementary by the way, but I expanded my cert and moved up—and we used to have a French rotation for the kids’ specials, but then the district cut it because it wasn’t terribly practical to teach kids French when they’ll never use it, so—”
Bosco cocked a brow. “I’ve never found teaching children a language they’ve been native speakers of for their entire lives to be terribly practical, and yet…” They trailed off, trailing from her Pinterest-tutorial messy bun down to her arms, crossed over her stomach, trying to physically hold herself together.
👀Blind Date AU📸
Jasco, minor Camgeria, minor Kornbread x Willow
Bosco and Jasmine are set up on a blind date with each other and it goes horribly. Just the absolute worst. And then two different friends set them up again. And again. And again, each time not knowing that they’re setting their friend up with the same person. They start out wildly irritated by this, but grow to begrudgingly appreciate the other’s company, as annoying as they may be. And appreciation isn’t a far cry from love…
👑Socialite AU✍️
Jasco, minor Kornbread x Willow (later)
Bosco’s always wanted to be a hard-hitting journalist, but finds themself working at this seedy kind of tabloid, trying to make a living and barely succeeding at that.
So they’re out at the bar one night and run into this lady, and starts to hit it off with her, is talking about their shitty job and what they really want to do with their life. And she’s replying about her hardships and how she’s got this terrible reputation, how she’s broken off four engagements her father’s set up for her, how she’s inches away from being written out of her family’s will, etc.
And now they’re drinking and having a good time and flirting and Bosco’s about to take her home but realizes she’s like beyond drunk and is now trying to take her back to her own house and leave the night at that.
So they bring her to where she says her home is, only to find that this is a literal penthouse apartment with like a servant and such like it’s insane. And immediately, Bosco starts putting the pieces together that this lady, at this address, with those four broken engagements is Jasmine Kennedie, part of one of the wealthiest families in the country, who’s been all over the news for her absolutely spiraling life. And Bosco’s got her right here, asking them how she could ever possibly repay her for their kindness.
And Bosco, seeing the sales of this story to every magazine in every supermarket line in the country, seeing it get picked up on news networks, seeing themself finally breaking out and exposing not only this heiress in her own words, but also one of the wealthiest families in America, asks for one thing: “a date.”
💌Love Letter AU📖
Jasco
Modeled after “To all the boys I’ve loved before, Jasmine’s a hopeless romantic who works as a secretary for a publishing house. It works out well, as she’s surrounded by romance manuscripts all day, and also Bosco, an editor she’s had a crush on basically since she’s started, but has felt too shy or awkward to voice. So, in typical writerly fashion, she writes about it, adding to the stack of unpublished love letters she’s been gathering throughout her life. She’s done this for everyone she’s ever had feelings for, but Bosco’s the only one who found out—Jasmine’s envelope of "love letters” is added to Bosco’s slush pile from agents and upon reading it, they’re intrigued…
💃Past Life AU🪦
Jasco
“someone will remember us
I say
even in another time”
In which celebrity-of-ill-repute Bosco is forced by their management to compete on Dancing With the Stars and is less than thrilled to be paired with Jasmine, who came in last the previous season. But they grow closer as they practice—it may be the sway of the music, the closeness required of a tango, or the visions of the other as their lover throughout centuries; who’s to say?
Nothing will dispell the "the curtains were just blue" myth faster than writing something yourself, because the amount of pretentious symbolism i am putting in my silly little fanfics is ridiculous. I mean SO much with these words, literally every single one of them. This fic has twenty five typos and zero correct uses of punctuation but if there's curtains you bet your ass I put thought into what colour they were.
I also personally think it's important to rephrase this whole idea - it's not always about *symbolism*, specifically, so a broader way to think about it is "why did the author think it was important to tell us the curtains were blue?"
This can include symbolism, yes, but it can also encompass so many other reasons you might choose to convey such things to the reader. Maybe it's to give the reader a clear picture of the scene. Maybe it's to set a mood. Maybe it's to show us what the character is observing & what their state of mind is. Maybe it's to set something up later. Maybe it's... Etc etc etc.
Even if the curtains don't *symbolize* anything, per se, it can still be very interesting to explore what line of thinking led to those words.
The admiral’s whole ass character arc was hilarious. Like hey this guys saving you whoops he stole someone’s teeth whoops they were actually just dentures whoops he’s also a slave dealer whoops he’s actually not that whoops he’s trying to bring his son back to life Frankenstein style whoops he’s having a heart attack whoops he’s not doing Frankenstein he’s actually just throwing a birthday party
ykno the thing about poetry is that 99% of it is bullshit and the other 1% will cut you like a material knife, and for every person that 1% is a different section of the whole. this is probably true about all art.
an underrated detail in pride and prejudice is that elizabeth bennett was home alone on the day darcy proposed because she had a headache. can you imagine. this was in the pre-painkillers era. you're at home with a headache and then this asshole walks into the room and tells you he loves you and wants to marry you even though he hates your whole family and you're beneath him. imagine having to deal with that while also having a headache. she doesn't even have ibuprofen
in celebration of the rwrb marketing team setting out to destroy all of us, I would like to share a headcanon I find horribly hilarious
when Alex and Henry get married, they hyphenate their last names.
All their last names.
Their married names would be, respectively, Alexander Gabriel Claremont-Diaz-Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor and Henry George Edward James Claremont-Diaz-Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor.
“However vast her narcissism, the Young-Girl doesn't love herself, what she loves is "her" image, that is, something that is not only foreign and exterior to her, but that possesses her, in the full sense of the word. The Young-Girl lives under the tyranny of this ungrateful master.” (Theory of the Young-Girl, Tiqqun)
Okay I love this photo so much because it's so subtly conveying the essence of these characters
I mean... I don't know the context for this scene but look at Alex:
Manspreading, legs and arms open, a lil bit of a slouch
And then Henry is just
Arms closed over his body, one hand in a FIST, legs open but not in a way that looks natural, more in a way of someone who WANTS to look natural but isn't, and a back so straight it looks painful.
"She" by Dodie // "Reading time" by Vicente romero // "The starless sea" by Erin Morgernsten // Andrew Garfield and Ben Barnes (wolfstar fancast) // "The song of Achilles" by Madeline Miller // "A fleeting dream" by Au Anqi
reaching through the hopeless, heavy dusk. their hands meet.
love letter to fanny brawne, john keats // orestes, euripides // wait for me (intro) ("hey, the big artiste"), hadestown // ghost photographs - doug and brenda, angela deane // les misérables, victor hugo // achilles come down, gang of youths // how to become a myth, nikita gill // romeo and juliet, shakespeare // lovers of valdaro // song of achilles, madeline miller // i will follow you into the dark, deathcab for cutie // planet of love, richard siken
patroclus: *through gritted teeth* everyday i wake up and i choose to be kind. *barely restraining himself from violence* i choose to be helpful and understanding. *tamping down the vicious bloodlust inside* i am consciously choosing to be a nice person, and choosing to love
