alex's thoughts n stuff

wassup I'm alex small little about me rq teen bi guy i'm into anime (esp death note, jjk, mha and my man aizawa) i like math, one day i'll teach it i'm an artist and a dancer (esp tap) i'm proship, my ao3 is pi_rate, and yumeship (aizawa...) though i'm new to it i like a lot of music: vocaloid (luka is my favorite), twenty one pilots, amigo the devil, and the crane wives a little bit i'm anti-AI and anti-killing (yes even rlly bad criminals) uhh ask me anything ig! i'm kinda new here bc i forgot i had an acc lmao

[pi314rate]

Putting this into the void (if anyone knows anything pls help)

Do colleges look at your ao3 when you apply? Mine is connected to the same email I use for college board.

There's some bad stuff on there. One of which is orphaned so I can't delete.

I'm overall a top student but kinda worried.

Should I:

delete my fics?

delete my "bad/problematic" fics?

delete my account?

orphan all my fics?

delete all my "bad/problematic" bookmarks?

Pls help idk if they actually look at this stuff

[pi314rate]

hi im lowk too scared to talk to you but you seem really cool and awesome and its always nice to see people who share the same opinions as me

Also i used to be on the hive too that place has become such a shithole honestly

IT HAS

stop I really don't think there's any reason that there should be a social media website aimed at children at all. coding, sure, maybe even likes n favorites, but chatrooms and comments should be banned. trying to sanitize people's speech to be appropriate for children is never gonna work and there will always be heavy biases and double standards when it comes to enforcing that.

imo.

(i'm blocking everyone I see who's still on there)

don't be scared to talk to me I'm strange but very tolerant

And it's cool that we have the same opinions on stuff! if you ever wanna de-anon yourself we could be moots :)

[pi314rate]

Yandere!Mahito x GN!Reader

Hey y'all! My ao3 is pi_rate, go there for more content!

Lmk if you'd be interested in me posting some of my mha content here too! I mainly write erasermic fluff and touchstarved!aizawa.

This is a gender neutral x reader fic. Reader's age is also unspecified. This is a yandere fic, or at least it will develop that way as it continues! Don't like it, don't read it :)

-------

“In a month, I’ll do whatever it is that you want.”

That’s the promise you ended up making to the strange looking man you’d noticed watching you for the past six weeks.

He had caught your eye immediately- it would have been weirder if he hadn’t. His long gray hair was pulled into three ponytails tied at the end, and he had visible stitching all over his body. His poncho only had one sleeve. At first, you assumed him to be a cosplayer. It would explain the odd appearance. But as you saw him day after day in new places, never dressed any differently, you had narrowed it down: he was either a method actor or a total creep.

Total creep seemed far more likely, considering the circumstances in which you’d noticed him watching you. The first time, he was seated at a restaurant with an admittedly very attractive man in sprawling robes. There was something taboo yet intriguing about the both of them, that you couldn’t quite place. The man in the robes was certainly the more handsome of the two. Yet the patchface was your personal preference.

However, the next time you saw him was watching from a dark alley, stupid grin on his face like he expected nobody to see him. Upon inspection, it didn’t seem like anyone did. Or they’d all decided ignoring him was safer. It was weirder and weirder places after that. Once, he’d been just sitting by your mailbox.

You didn’t say anything. After all, he was probably a total creep. It was not comforting in the slightest to think he knew where you lived. Maybe it was a hallucination. After all, you were pathetically and painfully lonely. It wasn’t that you didn’t have friends or family, or that you were isolated in your job. You were a sucker for romance, and without a romance of your own, you were left with a distinct feeling of something missing. Imaginary partners were ]the only way you went to sleep at night; you couldn’t pass out without holding a pillow anymore. An imaginary stalker wasn’t entirely unbelievable, especially considering your love for yandere content- guilty pleasure.

The next time, you saw him at a park by himself on the swing. At night. Which wasn’t that bad, right? He was just trying to have fun, probably. And he wasn’t even looking at you. So there was no big deal. It’s a small world. He’s not following you, you just notice him when you see him because of his strange appearance.

However, the time that he stood right in front of your front door was the final straw.

Oh shit, really can’t ignore him this time.

That was your thought the second you saw him standing there. You wished you had pepper spray or something, but you didn’t even have your phone on you to call the police. You’d forgotten it on your way out, which was why you were returning now. Which also meant you really had no choice but to try to get inside, walking around the streets without a phone is just asking to be kidnapped.

And unless the kidnapper was hot, you had no interest.

“Hello, can I help you?” You asked the patchface man, caution dripping from your every word.

“You can see me.” His grin tugged at the corners of his face in the most unnatural of ways, yet the corners of his eyes crinkled in excitement.

You wracked your brain for a possible meaning of that that wouldn’t mean you were in deep shit.

Nope, nada.

“Can most people not?” was the response you decided on. Your instincts were telling you that displaying fear was probably a bad idea, and it would hopefully probe more information.

“No… Do you see a lot of things that others don’t?” He tilts his head like a curious puppy, but any semblance of ‘cute’ is wiped off by his shit-eating grin.

“I… can’t say that I do.”

“So, it works then!”

“What works, exactly?”

“Well, I suppose there’s no harm in explaining it. After all, I’ll just kill you after this anyway.”

This would probably be a good time to run, right? But you weren’t very fast, and he wouldn’t be admitting his intent if running was an option for you, right?

As if reading your mind, his grin stretched even wider. “Oh, don’t worry. You’re dead no matter what. Just listen. This is very exciting to me, and my curse friends are sick of hearing about it, so I may as well talk off the ear of a human. No harm, really.”

What did he mean by ‘curse friends?’

“See, I’m something called a ‘cursed spirit.’ Basically, I’m a being formed of fear and disgust held by humans. There are all sorts of cursed spirits, but I’m made of the hatred humanity holds for itself. Most of the time, people can’t see curses: unless they’re about to die, or they were born with the ability to. You were not born with this ability, correct? Don’t overthink it: you would know if you were.”

You shook your head slowly.

“Every time I’ve been within your vicinity, I have come there with an overwhelming intent to kill you. And every time, my curse friends pull me back right before I decide to strike. As a result, you are technically about to die, so you can see me. I wanted to test if this would actually work, or if because I knew I would be stopped, you wouldn’t be able to see me after all.”

“W-will you be stopped this time?”

“No, darling. I’m going to kill you now.”

“Wait!”

You didn’t know what you were going to say, but some way to stall him, anything! You weren’t ready to die, you had to figure something out….

“Oh! Are you going to beg? It’s always entertaining when humans beg,” the curse grinned at you.

“Don’t you… wanna use me for any more experiments? I’ll participate willingly! Won’t that make it easier?”

“No real science can be done when the subject knows they’re being tested! You must not be very smart….” The curse teased. “Besides, I already intend on experimenting on you. I need more test subjects to scope out the limits of my cursed technique.”

“But… you said that your curse friends got sick of hearing you explain your experiment.”

“If you’re offering to be a listening ear, just to prolong your own inevitable death, you’re pathetic.”

“Maybe so. Are you interested?”

The second you saw another smile slowly overtake his face, you knew you’d won.

“I like you~,” he sang. “Tell you what. We’ll make a binding vow! It’s basically a magic deal I’m not allowed to break, to put it in human terms. I’m not sure how it works with non-sorcerers, but because I’m a curse, it should be fine. Another experiment! Maybe you will be useful. Go ahead and propose some terms…. I want to know just how much you think you can get away with.”

You’d like to say you had to think for a second. But you knew instantly what your terms would be, pathetic as they were. “You have to effectively be my partner. Hold me, kiss me, and be gentle and loving with me at all times.”

“Bold!” He threw his head back and laughed like a hyena. “What do I get from it?”

“In a month, I’ll do whatever it is that you want.”

“So… I make believe that I love you for a month, and then you let me do what I want to you? And for the duration of that month, I’m allowed to yak at you about whatever I want?”

He might be trying to hide it, but you had a strong suspicion that the curse was just as lonely as you were. “Yes, but one more thing. You’ve gotta tell me your name.”

“You know what? You’re crazy! It’s a deal!” He cackled. “It’s Mahito, at your service. Literally.”

You gave your name in return, head spinning. You could have been imagining it, but you could’ve sworn you felt some sort of energy from the binding vow. Or it could just be the fact that you were living out one of your strangest fantasies. As weird as the next month would be, you fully expected to have fun with it. Mahito was plenty attractive, odd looking as he was. He had nice eyelashes. And… you’d purposefully left it out of the binding vow that he had to kill you at the end of the month. Just that he could do what he wanted. So you had a whole month to try to convince him you were worth keeping alive.

And to think just a few minutes ago you were running back home to get your phone before doing some errands. This was quite the inciting incident, indeed.

“Alrighty then, pet! Let’s head inside!” He laughed, swinging open your front door.

Great, you’d left it unlocked too. You were doing just great today.

“I’m going to call you ‘pet,’” He informed. “It’s basically what you are.”

Somehow, the binding vow considered that to be ‘sweet and loving,’ as Mahito did not suffer any consequences. On second thought, your specific type of freak makes that not much of a stretch at all.

“What are we doing in my house?”

“We’re getting your things. I’m taking you back home- an innate domain of one of my friends. I won’t bother to explain what that is in too much detail, but you’ll be able to reside there away from human eyes. It’s very nice there- we have a beach! Humans like beaches, right?”

“I- suppose so,” you stammer. “Uh, Mahito? Generally moving in with each other happens a little later on….”

“I have to keep an eye on you! Who knows what kind of trouble you could get yourself into with jujutsu sorcerers.”

“Sorcerers?”

“The ones who exorcise curses. The ‘good guys.’ Of course, I have a different perspective, but from the eyes of your average human they’re the benevolent ones.”

“And… Why can I still see you? You’re not directly endangering my life right now.”

Mahito pauses. “I’m not sure. If I had to wager a guess, it’s our binding vow. Since you made one with me, you’re able to see me. And once you’re within the innate domain, it should allow you to see my curse friends as well. At least, that’s my theory. What fun!”

“I still don’t think I exactly want to live on the beach….”

Mahito turns and looks at you, seemingly processing. His face lights up as he gets an idea.

“Well then, I’ll live here!” He responds enthusiastically. “I don’t have any stuff anyway. So that’s easier!”

You…. really weren’t getting out of this, were you?

You showed Mahito around, a process that went fairly quickly and very awkwardly. You didn’t have too much to show, though he did oddly seem to like your decor. You figured he probably wasn’t too picky.

He did seem to like the thick windowsill on the second floor, one of the fanciest aspects of your house and the likely reason it cost much more than you could afford. He had hopped up onto it immediately, an alarming feat considering it was about six feet off the ground, but you supposed you’d have to get used to it. He found the TV quite exciting, “another weird way humans like to waste their time.” That meant a movie night was in order at some point.

By the time you made it to your bedroom, a problem occurred to you.

“Oh shit, I don’t know where you’re gonna sleep– wait, do you sleep?”

“I don’t need to, but I enjoy it,” was his honest response. He took a running jump onto your bed, laughing as the springs flung him into the air. “Especially considering this bed is nice and comfy. We should share it!”

Your face went red. Didn’t this seem soon? Obviously, you did want him to hold you, but this early? “Mahito, I don’t know about that yet…”

“This relationship lasts a month. Don’t you wanna maximize it while you can? And you’re the one who wanted me to hold you~,” He sang, teasing while making grabby hands at you.

“Wait, now?”

“What did I just say, pet?”

You stared at him, face contorted in hesitation. He was pretty. There was no denying that. And he was crazy, just your delusional kind of crazy, and he wanted to hold you. But this wasn’t an “M4A Yandere x willing!listener ASMR” anymore. This was real life. What if he hurt you? What if the whole binding vow thing was a prank, what if–

If he was going to kill you, he’d do it regardless of whether or not you came to him willingly. Wouldn’t you rather die being hugged than attacked?

You gingerly made your way over to the bed, sitting down on the edge.

“Aww don’t be shy, pretty baby,” Mahito said, and you hated how that melted your brain. He laughed, reaching over and poking your cheek. “You have so much flesh, it’s cute.”

That should’ve been disturbing. That really should’ve been disturbing. But he touched you, didn’t he? And he was just trying to get you to settle down in his arms. He didn’t mean any harm. Just as you relaxed, you felt his arms wrap around you, warmer and stronger than they looked, and pull you down onto his chest. You couldn’t help but let out a small noise, which pulled another laugh from him.

“You really are adorable! I’m not just saying that, too. Humans are so weird. Some of them are disgusting, some of them are murderers, but then there’s ones like you,” he said, voice slowly dropping to a whisper. “You didn’t hate that I’m a curse, if anything I think you might like that a little too much.”

Your face was bright red, wasn’t it?

“Your first instinct wasn’t to kill me. And you got over the desire to run pretty fast. And you’re messed up, but in your own adorable way. That–” he punctuated himself with a tap to your nose, “-Is why I like you!”

He gave you a little squeeze. “Thank you,” you whispered back to him, not trusting yourself to say anything more.

“See, you’re not even scared! How weird!”

That did seem to be the message, didn’t it? Your heart was pounding, your palms were sweaty, but it was far from being out of fear. This whole arrangement had been a desperate attempt to save your life first, but would it actually manage to cure your loneliness? Could you be happy with this man? He was pretty, for sure. That you had always recognized and doubt you’d ever not be able to see. And he was treating you well, aside from the whole attempted murder thing. Maybe. Maybe this could work out.

Experimentally, you extended a hand up to his head. His hair, as it turned out, was soft. Incredibly so. You stroked it lightly, nervously watching his reaction. He seemed surprised, at first, but that surprise slowly melted into enjoyment.

“Hey, that feels nice. Is this a human thing?”

Probably, right? You’d never been romantically involved. This was probably normal.

“Yeah, it is,” you replied softly.

He paused. “Keep doing it. Please.”

He was quieter now. It was likely, you realized, that he was just as inexperienced as you were. He seemed surprised that you would even give him a chance to be viewed in a positive light, let alone a romantic one.

You kept your hand moving, almost absentmindedly, while you speculated about his past, and how much you’d even be able to ask about. When you finally worked up the courage to ask if he’d had any past partners, you looked over to find his eyes shut and his breathing shallow. His arms were still wrapped around you, heavier now that he was asleep and not supporting them.

“Good night,” you whispered, resting your head down under his and closing your eyes as well. Maybe it was a bit fast, sure. But if you were both enjoying it, what was the harm?

Right?

[pi314rate]

Any of y'all ever been on scratch.mit.edu

If so this is tumblr so I'm assuming you knew of the gaehive, a massive lgbtq+ chatroom, very pro censorship

I mean, I guess I get it, cause scratch is made *for kids* and all, so yes, I think that's not the appropriate space for darkship and nsfw.

But it gets to a point.

I made a joke comment in this chatroom about how "white men fall into two categories incel or home depot and as a white trans guy I aspire to be both" yk just like a silly little thing poking fun at the men I saw growing up in a very white community (I mean many men are ridiculous but still)

and the reply was "please don't talk about incels here, that's not appropriate"

I didn't know the origin of the word "incel" at the time (involuntary celibate) and I was quite a bit younger

And they EXPLAINED IT to me to show me why it shouldn't be discussed

Like aren't you doing the very thing you were trying to prevent (exposing minors to "nsfw" topics)

In my opinion scratch should have an age cap (like fourteen) to prevent stuff like this

I was pissed off and like "if it's so bad just report it"

And they wouldn't

Like clearly you know it wasn't a big deal

'Kid uses word they don't understand' but nooo that's so inappropriate what about the children so we must EXPLAIN to this child why it's inappropriate

That place was wildly toxic. some grown ass adults there too </3

Ppl would straight up tell lies (TOH was made using AI) and then when you asked for clarification it's "haha you fell for it"

but at the same time you could get flamed for being sarcastic and not using a tonetag for it, like explain to me the difference? Oh? it's that you happen to like the person who is just straight up lying with no punchline and thinking it's humor but you don't like me because I don't follow all your made up rules?

I mean that person is allowed to post whatever they want, I don't disagree with that. I don't think they're funny but I don't have to. But my joke, my joke is where the line was drawn. Technically, the other guy was "spreading misinformation" and what if a young impressionable child believed it??

scratch should have an age cap.

and if you didn't put caps warning for more than three words all caps?? your replies would get FLOODED

yeah I left that place. I'm proship now. I yumeship myself with aizawa from mha and it's student/teacher. Deal with it you immature fuckers

[goblinsatchel]

The Owl House really is the show that encapsulates what it means to be Pro-Fiction and Anti-Censorship in a society largely influenced by puritanical Christian beliefs.

The show was made by weirdos, about weirdos, for weirdos.

The prison is literally called the Conformatorium where they lock up the wild witches, the artists, the writers, and the undesirables. If you’re not contributing to society in a way they deem meaningful they have no use for you.

Worse: If you’re actively pushing back against the status quo you’re a threat and you must be silenced. (Sounds similar to our current political climate if you ask me.)

As Luz put it -> “None of you actually did anything wrong. You’re all just a bunch of weirdos.. Like me.”

Yeah I don’t think Luz would be on the side of witch hunting people down and burning them at the stake over shipping Lunter. (Pun intended.) She probably loves enemies to lovers.

Amity is a selfshipper herself, who likes forbidden romance. She had a crush on a presumably male character despite being implied to be a lesbian. (Your fictional tastes ≠ your real life tastes.) His name is Malin Gael I believe.

Me personally? I’m a multishipper. I like exploring a lot of dynamics for the fun of it. I also just generally enjoy when someone is really enthusiastic about a niche ship. This doesn’t mean I like every ship out there though. I don’t care for Amillow, but I don’t go around saying it’s a horrible ship and no one is allowed to draw them smooching.

Alex Hirsch even said to get weirder with it and Dana Terrace is all for the literary theory “Death of the Author,” Which gives reader’s the freedom to interpret a story however they want despite the authors original intentions.

Censorship is a weapon used by those in power to target not just those in minority groups, but everyone. The less information you have on any given topic the easier it is to manipulate or spin a false truth. The more you know, the better equipped you'll be to come to your own conclusions.

Fiction can be commentary on real world issues but viewing something “problematic” won’t somehow make you less “pure.” Or ruin your brain. (From what I’ve seen a lot of these antis and terfs perpetuate this toxic shame cycle.)

That’s why it’s so sad seeing a large portion of the community still falling for conservative propaganda that got the show canceled in the first place.

I loved The Owl House and I miss it dearly. I made this post as a sort of love letter/rant for anyone feeling misunderstood, for anyone feeling angry or hopeless with all the chaos going on in the world right now. I see you.

Keep making art and writing the stories you want to see, go comment something nice on someone’s fanfic, reblog a nice piece of art. After all.. Us weirdos gotta stick together.

[pi314rate]

and yet when i was twelve i got yelled at for saying i shipped gus and hunter "but what about the age gap???"

I don't ship it anymore just bc i don't think they have chemistry, but in this very obviously proship show how are there still antis </3

[swiftrunnerfelidae]

"Kill your local sex offender!" Oh, you mean the guy who went streaking at his local college football game on a dare one time? That's a sex crime.

"No, I mean-"

Oh, maybe the woman who had to pee in a public park that only had pay toilets, so she tried to hide behind the bushes but got caught? Public urination is a sex crime.

"What? No, I mean-"

Oh, maybe you mean the homeless guy who had to strip down to get his clothes in the laundromat to clean them for the first time in weeks? He tried being subtle, but someone called the cops on him, and now he's on the sex offender registry for public nudity.

"Rapists and pedophiles! Kill rapists and pedophiles!"

Oh, like the trans woman who got called a pedophile groomer for helping a trans kid escape her abusive parents?

Or maybe the black man who got labeled a rapist because he came on to another man's wife, and he decided to get back at him by charging him with rape?

How about the 17 year olds who were fooling around, fully consensually, in one of their bedrooms? That's still technically underage sex and thus rape of a minor.

Oh, or maybe you're talking about the doctor who performed genital reconstructive surgery in a state that just voted to get that classified as rape?

People will do everything they can to get you convinced rape and pedophilia are the worst crimes possible, then accuse whoever they like the least of being either a rapist, a pedophile, or both, counting on you turning on them just for being accused of the crime.

"Oh, so you're saying you don't want to kill a serial rapist?"

That's exactly what I'm goddamn saying.

Once we decide a group is okay to kill, the government will do everything they can to convince you that their political enemies are either part of that group, or just as bad as that group, to get you to kill their enemies for them.

The only way out is to accept every life as worth saving.

EDIT: If you're going to go on this post to say that no, you think you really should be allowed to kill people you decide are rapists and/or pedophiles, I'm going to block you. I have already been blocking you, because it's clear that you aren't willing to engage with what I'm saying.

Also, if someone says something like that we'd be better off with rapists being dead BUT that they won't let that opinion shape their stance on public policy, and you reply to that person to accuse them of wanting to murder people, I'm also going to block you, because what the fuck that's a completely different sentence.

EDIT 2: Since so many people seem to fail basic reading comprehension, let's state it again, in different words:

1. Killing people is bad.

2. Killing someone can never be undone by any means we have.

3. If the government can kill people, they will want to kill their political opposition and other undesirables (WHICH CAN INCLUDE YOU PERSONALLY AND ANY IF NOT ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY).

4. If there is a class of people OF ANY TYPE who the government can LEGALLY KILL, they now just need to convince you their enemies count as that class (ever wondered why there's so much emphasis on claiming gay people are pedophiles? Now you know!)

5. If there is a class of people OF ANY TYPE that the public can LEGALLY KILL, murderers just need to convince people that their victims counted as that class (I murdered him because he's a rapist. Anyway now his job is free promote me into that position plz.)

6. As pointed out in the notes (thank you everyone pointing this out!), if the penalty for a crime is death, people are much more willing to silence witnesses to that crime (for example, murdering their rape victims), which is EVEN WORSE than just committing the initial crime.

7. THEREFORE the only way to keep those from happening is to have NO category of people it is considered okay to kill FOR ANY REASON.

[pi314rate]

OH HELL YEAH!!

[pi314rate]

hey y'all

these are my top 15 vocaloids based on how much i listen to them

I honestly thought luka would be above teto but no (I like the style of new songs but like luka's voice more)

anyway happy first post ig- i'm alex (he/him) nice to meet y'all