My thoughts run a million miles a minute
I sit in pain and frustration as I try to reconcile with reality
Instead of believing pretty lies
I want to be loved, like a rare cut gem
I don't want to objectify myself in my mind
Telling myself my breasts are too small
Therefore I can't be desirable
That I have too much cellulite when the lighting isn't right
That my nose is too wide and my lips are too thin
That I should starve myself to keep my waist at a minimum
While my butt should be bubbly and defy gravity
That he could quickly search another girl on the internet to please his fantasies
While I lie awake battling demons
Facing my reality while he escapes his
How can "I love you" mean a thing when there are so many secrets?
Could you please fill me in?
I'm hopeless and choking on all of my reasons
But God has me believing that this could get better
I still have your sweater
That reminds me of all of the shit I hope I never have to go through again
But each relationship is like a record replaying
Days out and days in, stuck in the negative emotion
Feeling so alone in the battle with my double edged sword
I either lose myself or lose you, either way there's no reward
Maybe I should speak up and get these things off of my chest
Maybe I should hide away and give this a motherfucking rest
Maybe these difficulties are all just a test
And the answer key is locked away in the teacher's drawer
Pick myself up off the floor
Wipe the snot from my face
Give myself an embrace because in the end
I am the one that I'm fighting for
germansingergirl
origamiaround
baratheonpilled
annaxmalina
kianamaiart
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areudirty
