MY BLOG!!!!!!

hello :) I love you! (22/idk other bio stuff)

[lonelywoodland]

Isabelle Bertolini

[pigeon-angel]

I miss being pretty, and gentle, and nice. I want to be "Nice" in every sense and definition of the word.

[pigeon-angel]

Something is very wrong, and I guess I feel like I can talk here because its sort of like talking out into nothing. I guess friends might see but its not really the same as venting directly to friends...

Anyways, somethings been wrong for a while now and I dont know how to explain it. Its like a harrowing sadness that eats away at me randomly. Sometimes its triggered by specific things, events or images or things said, but sometimes its nothing at all, it just happens.

Either way, nothing fixes it, nothing makes it go away. It's always there. Sometimes I can do things that help me ignore it for awhile but its always scratching at the back of my mind and it always comes clawing to the front once I cant he distracted anymore.

I miss feeling a semblance of normalcy, I know i havent been healthy in a long time but I was better, and now im worse again.

I dont know why im typing this. I dont know if it will reach anywhere. I dont think I can be helped. Im sick.

There's always been something missing inside of me and I just dont have it in me to look for something to fill that hole anymore, I think I stopped looking a few years ago and its just. Caught up with me. I think im going to yearn forever.

[pigeon-angel]

How are you, today?

in my inbox today?

Im alright, a bit tired. I had to take a lot of painkillers today, too much moving around does that to me.

I want to lay down, for a long time somewhere dim and comfortable, and not have to think.

Today, how are you, friend? :)

[synoicus]

I was made to love you, and yet,

Inspired by this observation by a friend:

[angelicdewdrop]

[hyuum0n]

Li's side window. Human form of black wolf and great hawk are still in progress.

Someone has asked me will there be fem version, I'm still learning how to draw fem...and I like drawing man, most likely much, much later. I'll try.

[pigeon-angel]

I wish I had wonderful feathers and they were soft and people would touch them and love me like a fragile bird.

[gumy-shark]

characters who believe that they are inherently unlovable 🔥🔥🔥

[gumy-shark]

there’s no variation on this trope that isn’t absolutely peak. “im unlovable but i desire that connection so ill let myself be used instead”? peak. “im unlovable so ill drive everyone away” is automatically peak however you play it. “i am an unlovable thing so i will become a new person who isn’t”? peak beyond belief!!! i love characters 🥰

[lumierebelge]

blow up

[dearorpheus]

“But there are dark, untouched corners within all of us. Sex can be very exciting in one moment and barely tepid the next. It can feel like love but not be love. It can feel like possession and then the person walks away. You can’t possess another person. You can’t make another person not die. If nothing else, at least my vomit fetish is mine. It’s mine and it’s real.”

— Melissa Broder, So Sad Today: Personal Essays

[beachzombie]

someone’s probably done this already but idc

[ratgirl-deluxe]

you can do this thing called hug me a lot and it'll pay off because of my soft

[heyhoneyfox]

Maladaptive daydreaming as a child was like "what if I was in the digimon universe" and now it's like "what if someone genuinely loved me even though I'm flawed"

[eevwrites]

thinking of a yandere doctor who drugs you silly whenever you show so much as an ounce of fight and smooths back your hair and kisses your forehead with an apologetic smile instead of answering you whenever you ask him when you’ll be “well enough” to go outside again.

[pigeon-angel]

Sighh... I miss painting, especially painting out my feelings when I dont understand them.

[pigeon-angel]

just keep looking for threes to give me thrills, twos to give me twills, and ones for un-fun NO ONE’S! almost ready to dig deep? :)

I am ready to dig deep, I promise I'm searching very hard!