bruh

they/them The hotdog song violates the Geneva Convention

[fishfightinglincoln]

There is a new rock by the water.

[leg-stealing-bee]

I am the most normal human being ever

[thirtyskeletons]

Any day now

[thirtyskeletons]

people have suddenly started reblogging this post of mine from february 8th, 2012. great bit everybody

[thirtyskeletons]

[3000s]

if something happened would you want it to stop or continue

[syn4k]

"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s

[joyflameball]

[villainessbian]

Trans positive 1940s mafia goon: of course ya have "broad shoulders" sugar, you ARE a broad.

[cryptotheism]

Thogs are a phylum of object defined by squat physique and rugged utilitarianism. A forklift is a thog. A wooden trunk is a thog. Some dogs are thogs. Warthogs are obviously thogs.

[orteil42]

New technology discovered: 🦑🥪Squid sandwich! You may now craft 🦑🥪Squid sandwiches out of 1🍞bread and 1🦑squid.

New technology discovered: ♻️Recycling! You may now uncraft 🦑🥪Squid sandwiches back into 1🍞bread and 1🦑squid.

New technology discovered: 🥪Sandwich efficiency! All 🥪sandwich recipes now yield twice as many sandwiches.

[just-a-nowhere-giirl]

A series of greatest hits from possibly one of my favorite parody accounts on anything ever.

[anyaboz]

Animation time works differently. Fifteen seconds for them is five hours for me. Kinda makes you wonder. Five hours for me must be like five days for my animator

[lindleland]

"save me, substance abuse!" i cry. before you can moralize to me about the dangers of addiction, a noble and powerful steed gallops into the room - my horse whom i have named "substance abuse". you learn an important lesson about making assumptions. i snort a line off its back

[adeebobo]

this reminds me of me and my friend’s horse named Drugs

when i was in middle school me and my friends had a small yellow horse eraser we fondly named “drugs”. this lead to a lot of middle school tomfoolery around his name and saying shit like “Ma’am, so and so took drugs from me” and other dumb shit like that.

eventually, our english teacher, Mr. R, caught onto the joke. instead of writing us up or sending us to the principal though, he played along, making similar jokes like “(name), stop taking drugs.” “hey. you three. you need to share drugs if he’s going to be at the table.” “no drugs today, guys?” so on and so forth.

by the end of the school year it had become a very fond joke between us and this english teacher, so we decided since we were moving onto our freshman year, we decided to give our eng teacher this little yellow horse eraser.

so we go find our english teacher, Mr. R, who was setting up cornhole with our principal and other “big important people” for our 8th grade graduation party, and we hand him the little eraser.

to which he yells as loudly (and happily) as he can: “YOURE GIVING ME DRUGS?!!”

i actually went back to visit him before i left for college, and to this day he still has Drugs on his desk, and regularly tells his new students about me and my friends. ty op for reminding me about Drugs the Horse

[vocabulary-altering-posts]

CHARACTERS ADDED!

Substance Abuse the Horse

Drugs the Horse

[batrachised]

finally, someone for tumblr

[heresylog]

[Image description: Screenshot that reads: St. Julian the Hospitaller is the patron saint of clowns and circus workers, innkeepers, fiddle players, jugglers, childless people, and murderers. End description.]

[bunjywunjy]

looks like his feast day is in TWO DAYS

[bunjywunjy]

happy this guy's day, everybody

[amaltheas-garden]

I mean technically shouldn’t he get 2 Oscars

[twilahasbecks]

[helloitsbees]

[klapollo]

yorgos lanthimos is having a special screening of his movie where you can watch it if you shave your head. It's called the bald screening. This isn't a joke

[klapollo]

Are you bald, or willing to become bald?

[ludicrouslybad]

guys why is it lowkey thursday today 😭😅

[i-am-a-fish]

I don't think dust needs to exist personally

[i-am-a-fish]

I really love this website and the people on it a lot

[mrcarriertheii]

The beast looks in horror as it sees the weight of its sins