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YOU ARE THE REASON
Mike Driver
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Sade Olutola
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@pillsandmasks
“ you overdid it. ”
❝ It’s... it’s fine. ❞
[ he says, staring at the floor as he wipes away some of the grim of the walls and it’s surroundings area’s flith from off the skirt of his brow. He didn’t mean to get so hurt during all of that. it was just a scuffle, not one he needed to be involved in but one the night just had in store for him. Like most of these nights go.]
❝ I can at least try to stand up.. it’s not too bad. I’ll be okay. ❞
“ you hear that ? that is the sound of a thousand terrible things headed this way. ”
❝ Buddy, I know you’re normally the easily scared type. And I get it because who hasn’t been paranoid in these kind of situations before. But please, let’s not exaggerate things okay? ❞
( he won't really admit to this but) damn.. B^)
G ET OUT
cxbismdreams:
❝Story?? Made up?? ❞
Does this guy even hear himself? Where in anything that he had said was there any kind of lie? Was the truth really that transparent that he could just seep through it? It makes him clamp up, and open his mouth to gape for a word to express. Something like anger–maybe an accusation, but then it would seem like he was really trying to make it sound like the truth. Which is something he doesn’t wanna do.
He gets up–well, sits up from his spot on the springy cheap motel bed, his hands finding a spot by his legs as they grasp for a tool or a piece of fabric to hold on to. Anything. He’ll take anything just to hold himself back–
❝I sit here and give you everything that you wanted-everything that you wanted to hear. I haven’t claim to a lie in anything I’ve said, haven’t attacked you, haven’t done nothing of any sort that would discredit me in any way… and yet you still think I’m lying? ❞
It’s laughable, maybe even more so than he thinks. He kinda wants to, just to visualize to them how absurd the allegation was.
❝Look Tim, I’m gonna be straight with you. In the most easiest way I can. You need to listen up because I’m only saying this once and then that’s it.
I’m not doing this for some kind of forgiveness. I’m not doing this because I feel like I owe something to someone here or to anybody really. I’m not doing this because of “history” that needs to be cleared of a blank state or of some kind of guilty conscious telling me to shape up and be better. That’s not what this is. If you want the truth you’re gonna get it, But it might not be what you want it to be. Accept that. ❞
His eyes glare up towards them, centered and focused violet pinning the other in a lockdown they can’t escape from. His mouth a curt flat line as he holds his breath in for the rest. The opens up again with a sigh.
❝ I ain’t doing this for your friendship or your whatever the hell it is you think I want.. But for your own protection. I’m doing this for your benefit, even if you don’t think you need it from me. And I’m not gonna let this slip by because you wanna be stuck in here ignorant and unable to understand what kind of trouble you could get your ass into. And that’s your truth. You understand? ❞
[ He see something flare up in them, small but there and for whatever reason that may be, it makes him feel somewhat unsettled by their attitude. Maybe not enough to make him move, ( or flinch for that matter) But enough to be heard that he’s crossing more than enough boundaries than he needs to be with this fellow.
Alright so maybe calling their story on its bullshit wasn’t very smart, and maybe he should had been more clear on his meaning, but, it was all his mouth could muster, and he didn’t want to them to think he thought differently it just came out that way.]
❝ Okay, okay. Fine. ❞
[He settles it, with one hand, he puts an end to it. Then lets it down as he gathers his arms together to cross his arms and lean against the wall.]
❝I’ll take your word for it. I believe you. I wasn’t trying to call you a liar on anything at all before. It was just that my words held the suspicion and evidently I think I’ve earned that right to be wary of you. You haven’t gained anything from me in terms of trust or friendliness at all so far, so excuse me for showing a little distrust in a person who and I can’t express this enough-- in someone who as tried to kill me on several accounts. ❞
[ He puts firm emphasis on the tried part because that part is inhumanly true. They should understand that, at least, and by the suggestion they do at some amount. But clearly not enough. He doesn’t think they ever will, but hey what’s stopping them from saying so anyway?]
❝Nobody said you had to do this for anything. Frankly I’m glad you’re not doing this for something-- believe I’m over the fucking moon about that. But even so, that doesn’t change anything, and it this little act doesn’t change anything between us or the past or anything in between at all. No matter how far enough this goes on for. Which for me I’m hoping isn’t long. I don’t think I ever want enter a situation like this ever again, so bear in mind the final say is me telling you and saying out loud with effort--- I’ll take the help but as far as things go, this won’t mean anything in the long run. Yeah?❞
THE PHANTOM MENACE SENTENCE STARTERS
“ i have a bad feeling about this. ”
“ i don’t sense anything. ”
“ the negotiations will be short. ”
“ offhand, i’d say this mission is past the negotiation stage. ”
“ you were right about one thing, ____ , the negotiations were short. ”
“ at last we’re getting results. ”
“ again you come before me, ____. ”
“ you will not be pleased when you hear what i have to say, ____. ”
“ we will see. ”
“ we must continue to rely on negotiation. ”
“ how can we negotiate ? ”
“ we must defend ourselves. ”
“ this is a dangerous situation, _____. ”
“ i will not condone a course of action that will lead us to war. ”
“ that won’t be necessary. ”
“ you hear that ? that is the sound of a thousand terrible things headed this way. ”
“ we must warn them ! ”
“ thank you for your help. ”
“ there’s always a bigger fish. ”
“ relax. ”
“ you overdid it. ”
“ this is not good ! ”
“ drop your weapons ! ”
“ i said: drop your weapons ! ”
“ i will not co-operate. ”
“ in time, their suffering will persuade you to our point of view. ”
“ your negotiations seem to have failed, _____. ”
“ the negotiations never took place. ”
“ that won’t be a problem. ”
“ under the circumstances, i suggest you come to ____ with me. ”
“ my place is with my people. ”
“ they will kill you if you stay. ”
“ either choice presents great risk to all of us. ”
“ i’ll take care of that. ”
“ it’s risky, but there’s no alternative. ”
“ we should not have made this bargain. ”
“ you must trust my judgment, ____. ”
“ how did you end up here with us ? ”
“ i feel it also, ____. ”
“ this is not a good idea. stay close to me. ”
“ are you an angel ? ”
“ how do you know so much ? ”
“ this is a strange world to me. ”
“ yeah, it’d be a pity if you had to pay for me. ”
“ fear attracts the fearful. ”
“ what if it is true, and the people are dying ? ”
“ the biggest problem in the universe is that no one helps each other. ”
“ you assume too much. ”
“ ____ will not approve.”
“ ____ doesn’t need to know. ”
“ well, i don’t approve. ”
“ i will watch over him/her/them. you have my word. ”
“ will you be alright ? ”
“ he/she/they was/were in my life for such a short time.,, ”
“ will i ever see you again ? ”
“ what does your heart tell you ? ”
“ be brave, and don’t look back. ”
“ it’ll bring you good fortune. ”
“ what options do we have ? ”
“ i wish i had your confidence in this, ____. ”
“ i will not defer ! ”
“ i will do what i must. ”
“ i sense much fear in you. ”
“ please, ____, stay here, where it’s safe. ”
“ ____ is dangerous. they all sense it. why can’t you ? ”
“ i promise you, i will not let that happen. ”
“ i’m not sure what you hope to accomplish by this. ”
“ i am sorry for my deception, but under the circumstances it has become necessary to protect myself. ”
“ if we do not act quickly, all will be lost forever. ”
“ i ask you to help us. no, i beg you to help us. ”
“ be patient. let them make the first move. ”
“ it is so good to see you again. ”
“ it’s good to be home. ”
WESTWORLD SENTENCE MEME
“ Some people choose to see the ugliness in this world. The disarray. I choose to see the beauty. ”
“ Evolution forged the entirety of sentient life on this planet using only one tool: the mistake. ”
“ What is your itinerary? ”
“ And what do you want to say to your maker? ”
“ You don’t know where you are, do you? ”
“ You’re in a prison of your own sins. ”
“ You want to ask, so ask. ”
“ Are you real? ”
“ You can’t play God without being acquainted with the devil. ”
“ I know how that head of yours works. ”
“ We practice witchcraft. We speak the right words. Then we create life itself out of chaos. ”
“ He would have us burned at the stake. ”
“ That woman in charge is quite formidable. ”
“ You can just say ‘bitch.’ I hear it enough. ”
“ You’ve died at least a thousand times. ”
“ Maybe someday soon we’ll have the life we’ve both been dreaming of. ”
“ Has it never occurred to you to run off with her? ”
“ Everyone I cared about is gone and it hurts so badly. ”
“ The pain, their loss it’s all I have left of them. ”
“ I can feel spaces opening up inside of me, like a building with rooms I’ve never explored. ”
“ I may be losing my mind. ”
“ I think I want to be free. ”
“ You sound like a man who’s grown tired of wearing his guts on the inside. ”
“ I believe that only the truly brave can look at the world and understand that all of it gods, men, everything else will end badly. No one will be saved. ”
“ Maybe we’ve got more in common than I thought. ”
“ I imagined a story where I didn’t have to be the damsel. ”
“ Never start something you’re not willing to finish. “
“ If you’re getting fucked either way, go with the lucrative version…sweetheart. ”
“ I’ve been pretending my whole life. Pretending I don’t mind, pretending I belong. ”
“ All my life, I’ve prided myself on being a survivor. ”
“ It’d be a suicide mission. ”
“ At first, I thought you and the others were gods. Then I realized you’re just men. ”
“ You think I’m scared of death? I’ve done it a million times. I’m fucking great at it. ”
“ How many times have you died? Because if you don’t help me, I’ll kill you. ”
“ It’s the human beings who confuse me. ”
“ You’re a fucking monster. ”
“ Time to write my own fucking story. ”
“ At any point, I could blow up or collapse like some dark star or… ”
“ Did you hurt them, too? ”
“ You both keep assuming that I want out. ”
“ If it’s such a wonderful place out there, why are you all clamoring to get in here? ”
“ People like you keep spreading over this world like a stain! ”
“ You pretend to be this weak, moralizing little asshole, but, really, you’re a fucking piece of work. “
“ You helped me find myself. “
“ About time you realized the futility of your situation. “
“ I’m not crying for myself. I’m crying for you. “
“ Time undoes even the mightiest of creatures. Just look at what it’s done to you. “
“ The gods are pussies. “
“ You needed time. Time to understand your enemy. To become stronger than them. “
“ I’m afraid in order to escape this place, you will need to suffer more. “
glcssheart:
@pillsandmasks
—❝I know. I know I’ve never needed to ask but. It seems better to just be courteous than to just butt in and engage all the time you know? Like I didn’t really want to disturb you, or catch you off guard or anything like that. I just… uh well.. ❞
He does’t really know how to interpret his words in a way that made sense. It’s all just coming up in a jumble of mumbles and a weird gawky voice. He wishes speaking with them wasn’t so hard all the time but, well what the hell can you do.
❝ Arthur. ❞
[ He tries. only once, and that’s all it take from to press a finger up. ( The most that he can do at least to them, because touching and all that hasn’t really hit the bricks just quite yet between them he thinks.) Tim gives them only just one look and then.]
❝Since when, have you ever had to ask me to chat? Never right?
So what’s changed? Is it my demeanor? My silence?
You’ve never really needed to do this before. ❞
[ He pauses, his finger letting down as he replaces it with a calm look of question and quick swipe of his tongue meeting the ends of his lower lip.]
❝It’s kinda weird actually. Not the behavior, but just you asking. ❞
"damn..." LMDOOFKSJDKFJ
;)
❝ i just need an excuse to hang out with you. ❞
❝ Why would you need an excuse?❞
[ He stops what he’s doing to turn to them, a brow raised ad uneven as he gives them a look.]
❝ You’ve never needed to ask that before. ❞
purplejackct:
@pillsandmasks
❝Hey.. you look familiar… ❞
she pauses, staring openly at the man before her with a wilted brow raised. Processing.
❝And not in a good familiar kinda way. ❞
[ He pauses, staring openly at the women before him with confusion.]
❝Huh? ❞
[ Blinks and he swears he’s seeing a double, but isn’t so sure. It could just be the medication acting up again. So he tries to rubbing at his eyes to pull some of the sleep away.]
❝I’m sorry--what? ❞
Send me “Damn” if your muse finds my muse attractive.
SHORT STORIES, my favorite kind of poetry ( meme ).
SIX WORDS .
❝ i heard you were doing good. ❞ ❝ you don’t grow your horns overnight. ❞ ❝ i promise, it gets better eventually. ❞ ❝ & we never talked after that. ❞ ❝ am i really, truly, that unlovable? ❞ ❝ don’t talk like you’re coming back. ❞ ❝ my most dangerous habit is trusting. ❞ ❝ we’re made of stars & stories. ❞ ❝ you didn’t have to do that. ❞ ❝ everything is poetry when you’re drunk. ❞ ❝ did i mean anything to you? ❞ ❝ real feelings don’t just go away. ❞ ❝ you came & changed the weather. ❞ ❝ when can you just be mine? ❞ ❝ there was no love, only lust. ❞ ❝ darling, stop wishing on dead stars. ❞ ❝ art is another form of screaming. ❞ ❝ silence is the most painful goodbye. ❞ ❝ what the fuck did you do? ❞ ❝ i’m drunk, dizzy & missing you. ❞ ❝ kiss me like you’re losing me. ❞ ❝ i don’t feel like smiling today. ❞ ❝ not all good people are innocent. ❞ ❝ we’re a disaster in the making. ❞ ❝ some things are better left unsaid. ❞ ❝ we really should’ve talked about it. ❞ ❝ i’m so glad i met you. ❞ ❝ i wish i knew you earlier. ❞ ❝ i fucked (pronoun/name) to our song. ❞ ❝ i dreamed of you this night. ❞
TEN WORDS .
❝ you saw the messed up parts of me, & stayed. ❞ ❝ all i’ve ever wanted was for someone to save me. ❞ ❝ since you left, i have no one to talk to. ❞ ❝ i apologize for the nights in which i cannot breathe. ❞ ❝ everytime i look at you, i want to kiss you. ❞ ❝ we said no strings attached but now we’re in knots. ❞ ❝ there’s a difference between missing someone & missing having someone. ❞ ❝ for which f are you drinking? fuck, forget, or fun? ❞ ❝ my biggest mistake was thinking i could live without (pronoun/name). ❞ ❝ whenever (name/pronoun) rose to kiss me, i fell even more. ❞ ❝ i wish that ‘goodnight’ was followed by ‘i love you’. ❞ ❝ let’s smoke a pack of mentholds & talk about love. ❞ ❝ your deep, sleepy voice makes me feel like i’m okay. ❞ ❝ i read both of our horoscopes looking for an answer ❞ ❝ reality is the absolute last place i want to be. ❞ ❝ i didn’t expect that drunk kiss could mean this much. ❞ ❝ all i need is a late night drive with you. ❞ ❝ feeling pain is nowhere near as terrifying as feeling nothing. ❞ ❝ your eyes are the color of summer fading into autumn. ❞ ❝ you are the warmest home i will ever, ever find. ❞ ❝ the world is less scary when i am with you. ❞ ❝ i still can’t tell which of us was the victim. ❞ ❝ i just need an excuse to hang out with you. ❞ ❝ your expectations for me have been set way too high. ❞ ❝ i don’t want to feel this way about anyone else. ❞
❝ Don’t mind my tongue, it’s just here to give you the gospel. ❞
❝Does anything you ever say ever make any sense. Or do you just roll with whatever comes out of your mouth? ❞
cxbismdreams:
He hopes under some arrangement of stars and beyond that they believe every word they tell him. Not to question, not to beckon on with forwarding the excuses over and over again,but just to listen and take heed; he hates having to elaborate.
Brian is…not a very well rounded person to come to in terms of explanations. He can explain a thing or two about himself without fail, escape peering glances and overbearing questions that tumble in and out at hyperspeed, the way nobody else would have thought. And frankly it’s not a problem when you’re evading the trouble for yourself.
But to explain something that’s already a lie in itself? Not his best place of expertise.
He wants to groan and roll his eyes, of course they don’t take the bait. He should have known better than to come up with a more indefinite lie for himself. Now here comes the hard part, the ever so excruciatingly untalented part of his ordeal that involved less doubt to counteract the imbalance of dubiety with something a little more believable and excuse two has it, he just needs to go more into details, maybe add a friend. But he doesn’t have that many to name drop.
Maybe someone that this Tim doesn’t know, because he has to keep reminding himself that this Tim isn’t him. It’s not him and it’ll never be, and he should learn to be a little more thankful for that because that just makes things a little more easier to lie into.
But still he is pressed with flaking it up a little more for the curiosity. A grit of teeth collaborates in protest over his bottom lip.
❝Yeah.. that’s it. ❞
He mutters darkly;under the bangs of his hair. it’s pushed away with a swipe of his hand, crossing his own arms over his chest.
❝I mean do I really have relay the whole story to you? My word from the mouth isn’t that good enough? ❞
And it’s a stupid question, because of fucking course Tim has every damn right not to believe him. He hasn’t earned that bit of trust back.. not just yet. The thought makes his stomach churn with unease, turning his head away to the walls. He doesn’t like the scrutiny in their eyes, even if the attention isn’t on him.
❝Like.. what more do you need? I’m here aren’t I? I’m one of the little many Mirrored Assholes who came running by to say a “Hey-Hi and a fucking how are ya” on my way to save someone’s ass from getting pinched by the authorities for not having an escort while walking around here. Do you know how much trouble you could have been in?
I mean I know they don’t lay out the rules for you out there and all, and the justice system is just as morally deprived as it is in here, but come on Timmy…. ❞
His attention drags deep, A puncture stare gives the other a fold of murkiness under the motel lights with a scowl to match.
❝Did you really think you could stay here all by yourself? ❞
[ Okay so maybe he was wrong for the misjudgment. It happens, he’s not an overly careful fellow, but the opportunity baited itself anew for him to snag the reeling hook in for the catch. it was a definite outcome in terms of his overbearing & wearily thin peeled paranoia scuttling amongst him.
But what is he supposed to say? Yes I’ll come with you? Yes I’ll believe you? Yes I’ll stick my ass around with a man who actively hates my guts and wants me dead for a thing I couldn’t have or didn’t have control over? It’s just not realistic, at least to Tim. & it doesn’t make any sense for them to just let that all fly behind them now for the sake of some protection. He already has a little bit of that doesn’t he?
( What was her name again? Amy?? Yeah. her.)
He tries not to press too far into the matter (because the thought makes his stomach tighten up like a unsettled rock in his chest, & the feelings a lot like bile catching up in his throat so.. he thinks it’s better to just focus on the topic at hand and not let himself regress back to that awful awful memory pulling him backwards just as the thought crosses him-.)
❝I don’t want a whole story made up for me. You don’t have to do that. But I what I do want is a little reassurance here and there on some things that need to be cleared up before I can even think about going on further. ❞
[ No he knows he can’t stay here by himself, he was told this by Lex when they had that long half hour lecture about the policies kept in place to keep outsiders like him in good form. He knows what he’s doing now is essentially breaking the law-- but do any of the others know this? Of course not. Because Tim isn’t a dumb enough to show his face around here anyways. He’s always been a good hider. If the years back then have taught him anything, it’s that- if you didn’t want people to find you, you don’t post about it. Simple easy thoughtless conscious. He never really had much trouble abiding to that. ]
❝It’s not that I’m discrediting your reasoning for coming here. Its just...I find it a little hard to believe that out of the people lex could have sent to relay this message to me--it’s you. & I know the guy is busy and the other guy isn’t always gonna be around, I get it really I do. But it’s just so surreal to me given our history in the past to find someone I don’t even consider an acquaintance worrying about what’s going on with me. ❞
Cr1tikal sentence meme
❝ Nothing says a good party like everyone shooting at nothing. ❞
❝ Whoops, you heard me insulting you? Yeah, don’t take it personally… you’re just a piece of shit. ❞
❝ Yeah, I got murdered — what about it? ❞
❝ So, number one: this is a huge waste of my time. And number two: go fuck yourself. ❞
❝ I can now grab the sun by the titties. ❞
❝ The second I re-enter this reality, I’m coming back to that fighting ring and I’m taking you to lunch. ❞
❝ I’ll trap you in this fucking corner. How’d you like that you little prick? ❞
❝ They gave me this card but forgot that I’m illiterate, so… ❞
❝ This orange is having a bad day! ❞
❝ This man just walked right through the event horizon like he’s walking down the sidewalk. ❞
❝ I’m late for my pornography class! ❞
❝ We can cut through the perception of time! ❞
❝ You can buy things with a credit card, I’m sure you knew that… but did you know you can sell things with it as well? Such as murder? ❞
❝ Try to get Bill Nye to explain that shit! ❞
❝ No, no! Honey Nut Cheeri-no! ❞
❝ Do you think you could speak up a little bit? I can’t hear you over the sound of war. ❞
❝ PC versus… smack! ❞
❝ Is that dude trying to run for mayor? In my town - in Daddy’s town? ❞
❝ This is a party so good the cops put me on the most wanted list just trying to break it up. ❞
❝ You know what they say: you can never really know a person until you’ve walked a mile in their skinsuit. ❞
❝ I’d rather be gargling Bigfoot’s piss. ❞
❝ This is much easier to manage and comprehend than flying around having an existential crisis. ❞
❝ What the fuck? How did I not put those puzzle pieces together? ❞
❝ Give a tomato a false sense of security. When it thinks it’s safe, throw it on the fucking knife! ❞
❝ Just a little bit of ghost semen, a common ingredient found in most beverages. ❞
❝ Batman stole my arms. ❞
❝ Don’t mind my tongue, it’s just here to give you the gospel. ❞
❝ So this is how the world ends, huh? This is pure chaos and pandemonium! ❞
❝ If my dick doesn’t get sucked after that performance there’s something wrong with our society. ❞
❝ I’m trying to make a nice cold drink, not perform cold fusion! ❞
❝ Alright, I’m inside of this man. I’m wearing him like a fucking halloween costume! ❞
❝ General Titan Titties reporting for duty. ❞
❝ Who knows how many bananas this is gonna take to repair, fucking awesome. ❞
❝ What are you looking at there, pal? Never seen a rooster at a strip club before? ❞
❝ I can be your Q-tip, baby! ❞
❝ You need to fight with honor, not fuck! ❞
❝ He packs a punch, but I’ll pack his suitcase! ❞
❝ That’s right, I know you didn’t vote for me last time, baby! Here’s your chance for redemption. ❞
❝ Are they turning into a tire? That’s a useless transformer. ❞
a redraw a past Jessica doodle back a few years back. ( like maybe two…)
can’t the remember the rest but I feel good.
