We be flying

[pilot-official]

Ooh that's a fun dial

Seconds until fuel depletion: 8

*over intercom* Guys I found this cool dial wait why is everybody screaming

[pilot-official]

You guys are sure planes aren't supposed to have steering wheels? Because it's right there in front of me

its right there

[pilot-official]

Sorry for the turbulence, folks, I forgot this was an air vehicle. Anyway, we're back on our planned course at 39,000 feet with only a little under what's considered major impact damage.

[pilot-official]

we're still flying, by the way. I think I'm lost, though. Haven't seen land in months.

[pilot-official]

Damn overspeed and stall?

What did I do?

[not100bees]

People on Tumblr love sharing information about themselves no matter how asinine it is. And I'm the same way. Everybody tell me what the last thing you drank was.

[pilot-official]

3-Nitropropionic Acid.

I'd like to inform everyone that we are making an emergency landing because I am soon to die.

[pilot-official]

Please ignore the fact that the plane is upside down.

This is intentional.

[swagophile]

Horny Pilot: Tje jerkingoff sign is on please ensure you have your thang out and are stroking your shitttt

[pilot-official]

ATC has advised that I should hit the plane's self destruct.

Please enter brace position. Just for fun, it won't help you.

[s1llys-art]

I MADE ANOTHER CREATURE ACTUALLY

her name’s bowtie!!

[pilot-official]

I wonder why she's called that.

Iiiiii should probably focus on flying this plane.

(T.C.A.S.) CLIMB, CLIMB, CLI-

[another-s1lly-being-deactivated]

yeah dawg

why are you on tumblr when you need to fly a plane???

[pilot-official]

I don't know...

(T.C.A.S.): Your fate is sealed.

WHAA-

[Mid-Air Collision Type Noises]

[s1llys-art]

I MADE ANOTHER CREATURE ACTUALLY

her name’s bowtie!!

[pilot-official]

I wonder why she's called that.

Iiiiii should probably focus on flying this plane.

(T.C.A.S.) CLIMB, CLIMB, CLI-

[life-customer-service-offical]

You know what screw it

I'm open for hire. Cuz I'm boycotting life atm. Anyone can hire me... I'll uh... I'll... I'll be your customer service? Or- or your secretary or something...? I don't know... Please hire me...

[pilot-official]

Flight attendant.

You start next flight.

*checks time log*

Now.

[life-customer-service-offical]

Oh- oh wait- oh no- I don't know where the plane is- where is the plane??? Where do I go???

[pilot-official]

Gate 7.

Uhhh.. at some airport. Run, I guess?

[life-customer-service-offical]

You know what screw it

I'm open for hire. Cuz I'm boycotting life atm. Anyone can hire me... I'll uh... I'll... I'll be your customer service? Or- or your secretary or something...? I don't know... Please hire me...

[pilot-official]

Flight attendant.

You start next flight.

*checks time log*

Now.

[viralfrog]

[localairport]

Please dont record the staff while they are working.

[pilot-official]

Hey, ATC, we're like still on the runway?

Nobody has cleared us to even leave our gate?

What's the holdup?

[pilot-official]

ATC said they're breaking up with me 🥺🥺😭

They aren't returning my calls, all I hear is static 😭😭😭

[pilot-official]

ATC has informed us that the runway we just landed at is in fact not a runway, but a highway.

Would explain the traffic.

[pilot-official]

Wait I'm supposed to be dodging the birds?

[pilot-official]

This kind child in the cockpit is now informing me that he would like to fly the plane.

He showed me his copy of Microsoft Flight Simulator, so I know we're all in good hands.