Hi! We’re the Pinehaven Sys. Collectively we go by Jaiden, who’s also our host and the only name you’ll get out of us!
I’m 18 and am trans masc. I have issues with communication so may appreciate tonetags or tone indicators if you do interact with me directly (eg messages or comments).
I’m a suspected Partial DID system. Happy to answer any questions you have about it and if I can’t answer I know someone who likely will be able to.
System information, boundaries, DNI and stances under the cut
System Information
Ok so I don’t know a whole ton about system stuff currently. It’s been a bit of a journey and I’m currently struggling to identify stuff properly. Any information I do have is very limited.
Parts I may reference, emojis may be used as sign offs too:
❤️🩹 - He/They
✨ - She/It
🍂 - They/She/It
♠️ - He/Him
🔹 - He/Him (Jaiden/Host!)
💙 - She/Her
💚 - It/She
🌱 - He/Him
👑 - They/She
Boundaries
16+ preferred to interact but I’m not going to enforce anything unless you’re acting immaturely.
We prefer to be referred to as parts, although we may flip between using parts and alters.
Don’t try to get any one specific part to respond to anything. Whoever feels up to responding will respond.
If you figure out a part is an introject, do not treat them as source, they are not source.
Treat us with respect and we’ll treat you with respect.
I do not wish to engage in discourse here. My stances are only listed so people who don’t want to interact with those with my stance can block/ignore me.
DNI:
“Endogenic” systems and adjacent (willo/tulpa etc.)
Pro/Neu endo (nuanced stances are fine)
Radqueer
T.R.A.S.H
Stances:
Anti Endogenic
There is not sufficient evidence to say that you can exist as a non-disordered system or a system without trauma. There is no reason for someone’s brain to not form a cohesive identity without dissociation due to trauma involved.
Neutral on Shipcourse
My opinion on shipcourse is very nuanced. Yes dynamics involving child x adult and other problematic dynamics aren’t great. But I do feel people need to cope with trauma in the way they need to as well. Writing and making art surrounding it is often a very healthy way to do it. Romanticising problematic dynamics is not. These coping mechanisms should also be kept as private as possible too.
Anti Harassment
Educating people is fine. Breaking boundaries and threatening harm on someone is not.
sorry to be a broken record every month but christ menstruation is a stupid concept. oooooh excuse me for not getting pregnant, why the fuck is there goo falling out of me about it? grow the fuck up and reabsorb that shit for nutrients.
btw it's so fucking stupid you can be anxious physically in your body even after you've decided mentally you don't care. I'm supposed to be in charge here
Day Six: How do you feel about talking about the trauma which created your condition? Do you like to write about it privately or publicly? Why?
I don't really like to talk about the trauma publicly besides maybe who did it to me because I don't want people being able to take advantage of my trauma to try and trigger me, because a lot of the time if I reveal my trauma, the trigger that brings it up is pretty easily figured out from it.
Only reason I talk about the person who did it to me is because I hate that if you complain about your mother abusing you it's "oh but she's your mum, she can't mean it, she loves you" but if it's your dad it's "okay that's not good". (At least that's how it feels to me).
the thing they do in fact tell you about with DID but that i forget about until it smacks me is the way the passage of time is so slow yet so fast.
every day drags in a dissociated haze that makes it seem like 50 hours instead of 24, but then every now and again you catch a glimpse of a timestamp or the calendar and very abruptly realize it's been 6 months since something that you still process as having been two weeks ago. because you(system) have been toiling away at life this whole time, but you(alter) have only fronted a spare few times since that thing that was now so long ago
idk man i feel like reblog baiting and/or general engagement baiting that preys on people with moral ocd and generally calling someone a horrible person for not reblogging a random tumblr post can and should count as psychological manipulation.
you are literally using someones insecurity (in many cases the result of a disorder or mental illness) to manipulate them into doing what you want. at the end of the day a tumblr post will never be that serious. this is a small pool within the gigantic ocean that is the internet. your tumblr post complaining about [insert world issue] and calling people horrible monsters for not interacting with your post and your blog isnt going to solve said world issue, especially when you dont offer any sort of resources for those affected by it.
not to mention that not everyone wants their tumblr dash to be flooded with a bunch of doom news about how the world is horrible and humanity is falling to shit and we should just burn it all to the ground. i know this may surprise some people who make "fuck humanity kill everyone" their entire personality, but a lot of us come to the internet to find good things to focus on. its not that we dont care. its that only focusing on the bad shit and preaching apocalypse or whatever the fuck some of these people do is going to fuck up your mental health, especially when a person is already extremely vulnerable due to mental illness.
if youre trying to spread awareness of something, do it with proper recourses. people will reblog and spread that, not your "i hate the government and anyone who doesnt reblog this post about me hating the government is a nazi" bullshit no matter how hard you try to manipulate people into boosting your note count for your own personal satisfaction.
tldr; complaining about shit on tumblr is not activism and if youre going to prey on mentally ill people for note farming instead of posting genuine resources then youve got some really fucked up priorities
identifying a maladaptive coping mechanism is so bitter sweet like that’s great now i know what i need to stop doing. but that’s literally my something
Please remember that we have not consented to appear on pluralpedia, our terms may appear on systionary ONLY.
Pluralfluent
A term for when you felt connected to a fluid gender prior to your system discovery, but now that you have discovered your system its hard to tell whether your gender experience is genderfluid or just th diverse set of genders from your alters as you switch
Have a term you want to coin? Please check out masterlist to make sure we don't already have a (similar) term for you! Don't forget to also check our pinned post for boundaries and rules!
Day Five: How often do you switch? How often do you lose time? Talk a little about what dissociation is like for you.
Switch as often as we're triggered really, it's more than I realise as host, but it really depends on the day. It isn't really full switches, I stay mostly present from what I know, but it's a "switch" for me. I don't really lose time in the blackout amnesia sense, but I do pretty frequently lose it after the matter, so I feel like I've been present the entire time but it just sort of fades out.
Gonna add a cut here - tw for dissociation descriptions
Dissociation for me is like I'm constantly living in a dream or simulation and can't get out. I have minimal links to myself and my emotions. I often end up panicking a bit because I cannot escape the feeling that nothing is real and that I am not alive.
when i was a kid i decided that killing people was bad therefore war was bad therefore the military was evil. and adults would tell me it's more nuanced than that and i would understand when i grew up. well i'm a grown up now and idk i still think that killing people is bad and war is bad and the military is evil
"you aren't owed kindness from the entire system just bc some of us are your friends" WRONG!
1. people are allowed to be upset if you're mean to them.
2. holy dodging system accountability.
3. you're all the same brain. it's actually normal to expect your friends to be nice to you.
4. if you're consistently a jerk to your friends and dodge it with "well that PART doesn't like you" you're sort of an asshole. that person deserves decency. handle it within your system mayhaps.
idk just. my bf read this post out to me and holy entitled.
Day Four: Are you or any of the others in a relationship in or out of the system? How does dating work for you if you do it?
No, we're not currently in any relationships. Not ready for external ones as we aren't stable enough to manage them, and don't have the communication needed for internal relationships.
The way dating would work for us is that it's our body that is dating the person, but each alter can have their own boundaries, such as not wanting to kiss/cuddle our partner.
