he’s all and he’s more @pinesboi - Tumblr Blog

some click baity news outlet (inappropriately) asks ilya whats the hottest thing shane ever wore and without missing a beat he answers "white cotton socks" and everyone thinks its a bit and a way to shut the reporter down but its 100% the truth

ilyas-left-nut

so this is buck wild cwazy

draegmuth

I love that Ilya Rozanov is a certified Woman Respecting Bisexual Slut. It doesn't bother me at all that during his hoe era he fucks his way through North America because I know those women are getting insane head, multiple orgasms and perfectly angled dicking from a stunning blond babe with a dumptruck ass. Ilya is actually being a feminist by tormenting Shane, the jockest jock of all time. He is femdomming Shane and Shane being the repressed landlord finance bro that he is, loves taking it from his dominatrix.

sisituation

let's break ilya's english in the right places

i've been LOLing about ilya's incomprehensible, did you use google translate english with a friend for a while, it made me want to post about it before i get to typical mistakes russians make, i want to speculate on where and how ilya studied english. feel free to hop on and correct me whenever!

english in russian schools

2008, ilya's in Saskatchewan, he is 17 yo. meaning, he started school in 1996-ish and by 2008 he has already graduated. as all russians at that time he probably started learning english early on at school. typical lessons consisted of heavy focus on grammar, reading out loud and translating textbook passages sentence by sentence, and doing tests. he also had to memorize and give some weird ass speeches about "London is the capital of Great Britain" (tw). so, probably, not too much immersion, no colloquial speech, limited exposure to AmE, limited listening practice. he might have had a tutor and he might have traveled abroad with his family and class/hockey team, but i don't think he was encouraged to really focus on english. he might have picked up some vocabulary from movies and porn (question mark but not really)

that means that by the end of school ilya probably has some very basic english vocabulary, can't form long sentences, doesn't really know linking words, collocations, phrasal verbs let alone idioms, and relies heavily on translating from russian to english directly (relatable) this brings us to the list of english stuff russians usually struggle with

articles

we don't have them, we don't get them, the concept is very foreign. let alone we barely can pronounce the, so no motivation to use them russians might:

forget the articles: I'm coming to cottage for summer.

use a instead of an, a instead of the and vise versa

forget some specific use cases (geographical, proper names, etc): I'm visiting Hollanovs instead of the Hollanovs

throw them randomly when we suddenly remember they exist: A water is cold, Shane, now gimme kiss!

verb stuff

to be, do/does, irregular verbs

ilya's pattern of skipping subject is endearing but not very convincing to me. we memorize i am, you are, he/she/it is early on and get corrected about it for years at school, so, i believe ilya knows there should be something before “is good” =) typical mistakes we might make include:

using do/have instead of does/has, forgetting -s: Shane have good mouth

adding -ed instead of changing the verb: I bringed puppy home and called her Anya

tences

russian language only have past, present and future tences with no subdivision on simple, continuous, perfect, perfect continuous. all these concepts are confusing and take a long time to wrap our heads around (present perfect, i'm looking at you!)

hence, the mistakes:

using present simple instead of present continuous: I suck Shane off while he talks with Hayden instead I'm sucking Shane off while he is talking to Hayden

forgetting to be in present continuous: I making myself tuna melt, i can make you too.

using past simple instead of present perfect: I never was in Boston before. (sidenote: ilya's line from TLG "Is good. She has been helpful" made me laugh for this particular reason. proud of my babyboy nailing present perfect (i myself not sure if it's necessary here))

not changing word order in questions: You want to come while in Boston? instead of Do you want to come...?

(occasionally) answering I do, I don't, I am no matter the tense of the question: - Did you bring anyone with you? - I don't. - Have you ever been with a man? - I do / I am.

(probably) saying will not instead of won't. i just get the feeling that this sacred knowledge wasn't taught properly back then.

modal verbs, phrasal verbs, prepositional verbs and particles (i googled all those words)

yet another thing we don't have in russian. i was really impressed when ilya said glasses back on instead of glasses back or put your glasses again

so, mistakes:

forgetting or misusing particles: Let's listen to "All the things she said" for the 100th time Happy to tell to your mom / say to your mom that we are lovers.

same with modals (typically adding to instead of omitting it): We must to make Montreal go home to cry!

using regular words instead of phrasal verbs: I googled the word "compatible" / I looked it at dictionary.

forgetting particles at the end of the sentence Is Rose Landry I'm worring about

verbs + doing / to do

so, gerund, we don't know her. verb + infinitive, on the other hand, is quite common in russian, so i would expect my comrads to overuse verb + to do especially in the long sentences:

I could not stop to stare (instead of staring) at your mouth, I thought you might notice it. that was a long list but it's nearly not enough. these are also rookie mistakes, and i believe moving to Boston healed them quickly. but some patterns might linger, i guess.

given all that, ilya's english is good. is very smart boy. is learn fast and make everyone proud. p.s. this whole thing can be a representation of mistakes a russian makes when she runs her mouth on learning english, tbh.

🐝 + 🏒

#this will make sense to a specific group of people

pls is someone willing to be a sounding board for a heated rivalry au fic where shane and ilya are in physical therapy rehab I NEED INPUT SOOO BADD

#heated rivalry #hr #shane hollander #ilya rozanov #shane x ilya