Chris @pingulnmonster - Tumblr Blog

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Ray-Ban Sunglasses

pussysista-deactivated20170521

bootyvevo

wastrident

Pikachu in the new Detective Pikachu trailer.

shencomix

witchoncampus

I DON’T KNOW WHY BUT I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING

miiriya

fymyheroacademia

Part of The Big 3 Mirio Togata.

Bonus:

sodapoplio

kai-wildfang

Can someone from the Pokemon fandom explain this, I don’t understand nurse Joy’s reaction.

coolsville-ghetto

Ho-oh is basically a minor deity, so nurse joy pretty much just heard this ten year old say “i threw a rat at a god.”

viralfrog

Guy wanted me to make him a queen-size blanket.

teesadutta

my-middle-name-is-awkward

paininthejas

THAT is big dick energy

alongfalltothetop-deactivated20

Oh I’m an asshole.

So today pulling into Stop and Shop, this lady cut me off and nearly drove into me, and then, when I tried to pass her, she swung to the right and nearly hit me again, and then flipped me off.

So somebody is having a bad day and taking it out on me. That’s fine. It’s harmless, and I don’t know what’s going on in this woman’s life. I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt she’s not just a piece of shit and is just having a bad day.

But then I park and she follows me, and gets out of the car and starts swearing at me and getting in my face.

Now I go from “indifferent” to “I’m gonna fuck with this woman’s head.” Now I would say I’m a gentleman of size, and in all black and bemohawked I probably look spookier than I actually am, so props to this lady for getting in my face. Now of course I’m not going to hit her, or even threaten violence. That’s shitty. Nobody should get threatened with violence.

Instead, I take a step back, narrowing my eyes like I’m studying her face really closely, and then I touch one of the several piece of “occulty” jewelry I’m wearing (none of which, by the way, are magicked in any way at all). Then I mumble some nonsense under my breath, and then make the fig gesture and the horns at her.

She stops, wide-eyed.

“WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST DO TO ME?”

I chuckled, and shake my head. “Nothing at all.” I say in a not-terrible convincing voice. “But every time something bad happens to you today, you’re gonna be thinking of me.”

Then I winked at her, and walked away.

curiowitch

heathens-and-kings

“I want to speak to a manager,” the middle-aged woman said in her stern I-used-to-be-a-soccer-mom-ten-years-ago voice, looking down at me over the top of her Gucci reading glasses.

A wicked grin split across my face and the gates of Hell opened up behind me, releasing a gust of hot wind that whipped my apron around my body and forced the woman to shield her face. Demons came forth, dancing around in flames with songs of, “She wants to speak to a manager. Did you hear that? She wants to speak to a manager!” before erupting into earsplitting shrieks of laughter, none louder than my own cackling.

I took in the woman’s look of utter horror before my eyes rolled back into my head and I growled,

“I am the manager.”

owawaaa

a thing for one of my favorite posts on this site

marvel-is-ruining-my-life

chalamet-x

i’m dying that robert downey jr posted this on his official facebook 😂😂😂

credit: hisduckling on youtube

bidoctor

the-absolute-funniest-posts

me

marauders4evr

I’m...I’m sorry, I just this minute realized that there are people out there who have no idea that Heinz Doofenshmirtz is the best fictional father out there. You guys don’t mind if I bombard your entire dashboard with proof right? Excellent.