pinkbunnyblackbunny

everything from bears, bunnies, and species dysphoria, to esoteric literary structures ________________________________ blackbunny is part-bunny and part-bear, but often mistaken for human by untrained eyes. pinkbunny is part-bunny and part-cybearg, often mistaken for human by those very same untrained eyes.

[pinkbunnyblackbunny]

Please welcome the newest member of our Superhero Bunny Team. The cosmic alien RetroBunny. Superhero power: can turn back time. Home planet: RB hails from the constellation Lepus and used her not inconsequential powers to immediately turn back time to the nanosecond before Donald Trump jumped into the presidential race. At which point Blackbunny dug a hole in his path into which he disappeared evermore. Whew, thank heavens that's been taken care of.

[pinkbunnyblackbunny]

[ninarota]

The turtle and the scorpion

The turtle wants to get to the other side of the pond so he gets ready to swim across it. A scorpion wants a ride on the turtle’s back so he can get across the pond too, but the turtle says, “No, you’ll sting me in my neck and kill me.” The scorpion says, “Are you crazy, if I killed you I’d die too. That would be stupid.” The turtle finally consents. They get midway across the stream then the scorpion stings the turtle in the neck and they both start to drown. The turtle yells at him, “Why did you do that?” The scorpion shrugs his shoulders and says, “Because i’m a scorpion.”

[pinkbunnyblackbunny]

Reptilian Biofluorescence

blackbunny Hey pinkbunny,

Get a look at this turtle's glow-in-the-dark racing stripes!  In fact, I've decided to get some of that myself -- a glow-in-the-dark tattoo!  I just gotta figure out what's it gonna be & where . . .  Any suggestions?

XO

F :B

pinkbunny A portrait of Donald Trump.

blackbunny U R out 2 get my goat, aren't U?

pinkbunny I've never seen your goat tattoo, where is it?

blackbunny MayB I'll get a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle tattoo!

(Pls stop me if I ever appear drunk enough 2 do it.  It's really something I don't need. Actually, there's two things I don't need: first, it's an ugly-ass tattoo (unless I get my artist friend Andy to do it b/c then it definitely wouldn't B ugly-ass); & second of all, an ugly-ass Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle staring out from some part of my body -- even though I secretly think TMNT(s) are cool & not just b/c they're all named after Renaissance painters . . . )

Honestly though if it's between having a Ninja Turtle or a Dump, er, Trump tattoo -- Turtle wins hands-down!

[pinkbunnyblackbunny]

The rEvolution Will Not Be Twittered

blackbunny Haven't finished this article yet (b/c of the rEvolution), but am intrigued.

F :B

pinkbunny I read this in the New Yorker - basically Snyder overstates the case for considering the politics of the local areas where there were conflicts that lead to genocides.

What is rEvolution?

blackbunny rEvolution is the animals taking back the planet.

pinkbunny Oh, and will that happen before machine merged humans?

blackbunny Uh yaahhhh . . . !   The animals know they're all doomed once that happens.

pinkbunny And by then we'll have a full assortment of synthetic meats matching everything from muscle meat to broth so we won't need them anymore

blackbunny Hmmm, but humans look to animals for all sorts of things beyond food & clothing -- keeping the planet's eco-systems going, protection, affection & even inspiration.  We'll probably have animals merged w/ machinery too.  

U R also assuming that by then we'll know everything re: ourselves & animals & our interaction between them, us & the planet & I'm not sure we ever will.  We R 2 much a part of the picture to see our part in it & "by then" we'll have already changed B4 we're even aware of it.  

Will we ever come up w/ an algorithm to Xplain our infinite ever-moving, ever-changing cosmos?  I hope not b/c it would take all the fun out of life.  I can't believe I'm embracing uncertainty, unpredictability but I guess I am.  MayB it's b/c I have a deep distrust of logic b/c logic followed 2 it's Xtreme nearly always ends in absurdity or violence (I don't know where this is coming from & am only following my sense).  MayB it's why I think poetry is important.  

Poetry, at its best, or even humor (or art for that matter), tests our ability to think metaphorically.  I'm not sure computers can ever make that leap.  My sense is that most people solidly on the spectrum (autism) -- possibly the closest to a walking human computer -- have trouble understanding, let alone enjoy poetry & humor & art b/c they think literally, not figuratively . . .  

OMG, look at the time!  How did I get here?  I've fallen down the rabbit hole & must go.  "I'm late, I'm late/for a very important date!" (White Rabbit sings this in the Disney animated version of "Alice in Wonderland").  Guess this is good though b/c I've had trouble submerging myself in abstract thought.  It's why I couldn't answer yr Anne Carson question of some weeks, possibly months now, back.

[ninarota]

Are sperm whales cultured?

blackbunny Dear pinkbunny,

Do you think if I learned how to talk Sperm Whale that I’d have a better chance w/ bunnies of our persuasion?

signed,

Lonely & Desperate

pinkbunny Are you looking to become a parent of some sort?

blackbunny I would wear protection, so there’d be no chance of that!

pinkbunny Are there condoms large enough for “dorks” (please look up definition)

blackbunny Never mind the definition.  Who U calling a dork?

Straight Outta the petting zoo,

F :B

pinkbunny I believe it is a whale’s dick

blackbunny I figured.  Funny, how I remember us kids calling each other  that in elementary school when we hadn’t a clue what it was – one whale of a dick!

[ninarota]

HOW MANY VEGANS DOES IT TAKE TO SCREW IN A LIGHTBULB

blackbunny Hey Yogi, here’s proof that your smarter-than-average bear can turn vegan.

Love,

Boo-Boo*

*Longtime Vegan Buddhist & US National Parks Spokesbear

pinkbunny I’m the fucking opposite, if I don’t eat every two or three hours I can’t sleep at night. Makes sense that after 3 or 4 hours my body wakes up and says ok I’m going to release some adrenaline cause you’re not feeding me then wakes up with me in a tizzy and says “where’s the food?”

blackbunny Hey Yogi,

Just messing w/ you.  As much as I love your parents, it must’ve been weird to have a coupla’ Dead Heads for parents.  I mean, Ranger Rick me, they named you after their guru (guess that’s what you get for being born on an ashram)!

Your lil’ buddy,

Boo-Boo

PS I shouldn’t talk.  Look at what my parents named me.  No wonder I feel like a mistake (I probably was).  Hey, let’s go out & get a coupla’ picnic baskets.  That’ll cheer us both up!

pinkbunny Hey, Boo-Boo, how many vegans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

blackbunny I don’t know, Yogi.

pinkbunny See, I’m vegan and I’m better than you.

blackbunny Very funny, Yogi, but I wouldn’t tell that joke to the Ranger.  He’s gone vegan.

source

[pinkbunnyblackbunny]

VELOCIRAPTOR LOVE

blackbunny Look, my new pet!  We just got home from the shelter.  But like most rescues, it has abandonment issues & a major case of separation anxiety.  Oh gotta run, literally.  Gotta catch lunch.  Fresh squirrel, yum!  [Actually, it's rather disgusting but, hey, I'm not eating it . . .   Er, I spoke too soon.  Looks like it wants to -- (gulp) -- share.]

F :B

pinkbunny You prefer older companions I take it.

blackbunny Pls don't mention age.  It's something of a sensitive topic.

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[pinkbunnyblackbunny]

[pinkbunnyblackbunny]

blackbunny OMG, you found my family reunion pix!  I can't believe it escaped the fire . . .

[pinkbunnyblackbunny]

[pinkbunnyblackbunny]

Grace Slick is waiting in the anteroom

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[pinkbunnyblackbunny]

blackbunny OMG, that's one of my recurring nightmares.  I fall asleep telling this bearded guy my dreams.  The next thing I know I wake up & I'm in a leather bar w/ Jerry Garcia & all those Grateful Dead bears playing Parcheesi.

pinkbunny I knew that but I didn't want to presume anything.

blackbunny Hey, whatever happened to Whitey the new roomie?  U could always get him his own terrarium & heat lamp.  U know, come 2 think of it.  He really could use a tan!  BTW Scorpios are rather vain creatures -- er, I meant 2 say Scorpions . . . !?!  Also I bet scorpions are the ideal demographic for tanning salons.  No chance of skin cancer.

pinkbunny Oh, Whitey the scorpion. Don't know, don't want to know.

[pinkbunnyblackbunny]

Grace Slick is waiting in the anteroom

source

[pinkbunnyblackbunny]

CatCon

blackbunny When the fuck is BunnyCon?!?  Did I miss it, again?!?

F xB

pinkbunny this is the difference between a person with animal dysphoria and an animal lover. I'm not an animal lover, I am in love with my animal self.

blackbunny Lol, clever way 2 put it! 

source

[ninarota]

Slight Emergency in Scorpion Land

[excised phone convo in which blackbunny checks that I am still alive after finding a white scorpion in my house.]

blackbunny BTW I thought it was a well-composed pic

pinkbunny Under the circumstances i agree with you :O)

blackbunny What happened w/ Whitey the Scorpion?!?

pinkbunny I thought I had squished it this morning but I think I only squished its molted carapace :O(

blackbunny Oh no, Whitey is a Houdini!  Whatever happened 2 the Xterminators?!?  Er, how often do these creatures reproduce?!?  & do they need two 2 tango or do they go it alone (let’s hope not!)?!?

pinkbunny The exterminator said the scorpion would not jump into my bed and bite me. If I see him I’m supposed to squish him.

blackbunny Hey speaking of Scorpions is there any way U can work it in2 an essay as an analogy or metaphor or simile? Doesn’t have 2 B a literal story re: a white scorpion appearing in yr haus.

pinkbunny I’ll see if I can fit it into the book in one of the LSD trips, molting - a deep symbol of transition and transformation, don’t you know.

blackbunny Stomp! Stomp him good! Squish doesn’t sound authoritative enough.

pinkbunny Okay then, how about smoosh?

[pinkbunnyblackbunny]

best selfie ever

[pinkbunnyblackbunny]

blackbunny OMG, word is they're getting married but first they have to find a baker who doesn't object on religious grounds to interspecies weddings (am so sick of hearing "a marriage is between a man & a woman"). Last I heard they might have to forego the traditional three-tiered carrot cake w/ cream cheese icing which is such a shame. Can you imagine a wedding w/out a wedding cake? The bride's zeal (zebra for "herd") will be so disappointed & she'll be utterly heartbroken. Angry at the Religious Right, F xB

[pinkbunnyblackbunny]

best selfie ever

[pinkbunnyblackbunny]

GAY MARRIAGE: BURN, BABY, BURN - DISCO INFERNO

blackbunny Outside today on the steps of SCOTUS -- Anti-same-sex-marriage protestor: Unless you repent, you will spend eternity in Hell!

Pro-same-. . . protestor (waving a rainbow flag): I already made my reservation.(as reported in the NYT law blog)

pinkbunny Which area of hell did you reserve?

blackbunny I'll tell U precisely after I find my rough guide . . . U haven't seen my copy of "The Inferno" anywhere, have U?

pinkbunny Here you go (see drawing above)

blackbunny LOL!!! BTW you didn't happen to get tix for the VIP reception, did you?

pinkbunny To the Inferno? Nah. It would probably turn into a bad reality TV show where you have to relive your high school years or that time you hid your underwear...

blackbunny Underwear what?!?  O ye of little imagination!  As M. Twain once said, "Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company."  Besides by now, Paradise must be the most crowded, polluted, overhyped travel destination in all of eternity.  It's probably a lot like Vegas w/out the free booze -- now, that's hell!